Disclaimer- I own nothing you recognize, including the songs...err...all the songs Kevin Gregory sings belong to different artists and not me.

Warning: The following fic contains more catfights, dogs doing unspeakable things, a flock of angry owls, and should not be viewed by anyone...who won't say 'super' with me.

1...2...3...SUPER!!!!!...and I'm spent.

"Sirius quit it!" Remus snapped yanking his hair out of his deluded friend's reach.

 Sirius thought nothing of the outburst and picked up another lock of Remus's light hair and began to brush it, taking back glances at Lynn who was seething and obviously stalking them through Hogsmead.

"Oh you know you like it dearest Remmikins. Plus your hair is just super." Sirius said, saying Dearest Remmikins loud for the sole purpose of annoying Lynn.  He knew he succeeded when there was an angry roar behind them and numerous 'calm downs' from her friends.

"Remmikins? What are you on?" Remus questioned disgusted. "I've been called Rem before, even Remmie and Remski but where the hell did Remmikins come from?" Remus pondered to himself as he and his friends walked on.

"So...Padfoot what brought on this new revelation of...?" James questioned and for about the first time ever he seemed to be lost for words.

"Flaming-ness?" Peter suggested, fingering Sirius's rainbow ruffles cautiously as if they would jump out and bite him.

"Not quite so...blunt." James said scratching his chin in a pondering manner.

"Flamboyant-ness?" Suggested Sirius applying mascara to his eyes while walking as if it was a second nature.


"Perfect. Let's make that the word of the day, eh Wormtail old boy?" James said snapping his fingers.

"You're so flamboyant today." Peter said stating a fact proudly as James patted him on a head like a good puppy.

Peter scurried ahead to the entrance of the three broomsticks and opened the door gallantly for his friends expecting another pat from James.  Everybody knew Peter worshipped the ground James walked on ever since Remus found a jar filled to its brim with a dusty clear liquid labeled James's Sweat under Peter's bed.  At first Peter's worshipping came off as a little unnerving and just plain creepy but soon James came to embrace the attention and relish it. So in a way Peter helped James become what he is today.

Sirius glided in front of his friends in Kevin's suede red boots humming a little airy tune as he glanced around in search of a table. He flopped down at a table intended for five which was not too far from the bar area where Lily, Lynn, Faye, and Sunny sat.

"You know, leather pants really suit Sirius." sunny said sipping her butterbeer pleasantly.

"It looks like someone slathered his pants in cooking oil..." Faye mumbled slightly amused. She plucked a cherry from atop of Lily's root beer float and chuckled to herself.  Lily didn't seem to notice because she was facing Lynn on her other side who seemed to be having a nervous breakdown.

"Lil how do you think I would look in leather pants- do you think Remmie would like it if I strutted around like a flaming version of Keith Partridge- how long do you think this has been going on- I swear I'll kill him if it's the last thing I do- what the hell does he think he's doing his hair...?!" Lynn babbled on in a slightly frantic voice adding heaping mounds of sugar in her coffee.

Lily cast a worried look to Faye as Lynn kept babbling to herself.

"What should we do about Lynn?" Lily asked truly concerned.

"What, excuse me?'We'? I thought we established that these were your friends before noon and I was only here for the food." Faye said motioning to Sunny and Lynn.

"Faye you ass, she needs us!" Lily hissed smacking the cherry out of her hand.

"How about we just feed Sirius some Pop Rocks and soda until he falls to the floor sputtering and twitching, that would make her happy." Faye suggested.

"No!" Lily said sternly in a voice resembling that of McGonagall's.

"What? It worked last time..."

"Just look at her! It's getting way out of hand."

Faye watch as Sunny pried Lynn's coffee which had a mountain of sugar coming through it like an iceberg, out of Lynn's shaking hands.

"I need the caffeine!" Lynn exclaimed drawing attention to herself from everyone else at the bar.

"You-you had enough." Lynn quivered slightly afraid.

This was her fourth cup of sugary coffee in only 7 minutes. Everyone knew to stay out of Lynn's way when she was on a caffeine rush such as this one. She usually got violent and disoriented when she had more than four cups of coffee. Last time this happened was in their third year when Lynn ordered 10 cups of coffee and tried to out drink Sirius, the human disposal.  After she hit five cups she ran loose and nobody found her until late that night when she was discovered letting loose all the chocolate frogs in a closed Honeydukes screaming "Fly, fly with me cretins!" as they bounced from wall to wall, nearly wrecking the place. It was even more scary now because she was suffering from sugar rush and chronic depression as well. There was no telling what she would do now if her friends couldn't keep her under control.

"I said you enough!" Sunny said yet again.

"Enough? Enough? You daft freakin' hippy, I'll tell you when I've had enough!" Lynn snarled swallowing the coffee in one gulp and licking the bottom of the cup like a bum would do to an empty bottle of whisky.

Faye sighed and looked away from her disturbed coffee fiend of a friend and returned her gaze to Lily.

"Well... I guess I could give you some advice to help her seeing as if I'm not the best person to talk to her right now..." Faye said.

"Super." said Lily mocking what Sirius had been saying all day in the exact same way he pronounced 'super' as 'thuper'.

"My mom's a psychaitrist and she says the way you deal with crazy people is you just let them babble on about what they wanna say, crease your eyebrows a bit and say 'M'kay, m'kay so how do you feel about that?'." Faye stated knowingly.

"Are you sure?" Lily asked eating a spoonful of her already melting ice cream which was turning her root beer a creamish color.

"Well, my mom's been doing that to me my whole life so...yeah." Faye replied with her face breaking into a grin not very different to Sirius's.

"'Kay let's try." Lily said swiveling her barstool so she could face Lynn.

Faye sighed as she saw her friend hyperventilating in a mug of butterbeer topped of with a heaping helping of whip cream. Surprisingly, this was Sunny and not Lynn who had begun naming off the different conspiracies put against her ever since birth. Faye snatched a brown paper bag from behind the bar counter and shoved it in Sunny's face, covering her mouth and nose.

"Breathe, moron, breathe!" Faye scolded. Sunny looked up with her watering eyes and took a few small breaths.

"Well come on you can do better than that take in some air!" Faye said pounding Sunny on her back.

Lily gripped Lynn's wrists and clamped her mouth shut in an attempt to get her attention.

"Now then, I feel we should have a talk, buddy." Lily said creasing her eyebrows slightly, "Now how do you feel about that?"

"I don't want anymore, Sirius, seriously!" Remus whined pushing back the peanut butter and chocolate swirl milkshake Sirius had bought for the both of them to share.

"Oh, take another sip Remmie Poo." Sirius cooed.

"Again with the pet names, what is wrong with you?-ooh that looks good little Miss Evans..." James questioned ripping his eyes away from the bar where Lily was licking some whip cream that had dribbled down her chin. Soon enough his head snapped back to her again.

"Yeah Sirius, you're so..." Peter started not knowing how to phrase his friend's actions.

"Flamboyant." Remus offered, letting Sirius wipe his mouth with his handkerchief that smelled strongly of cheap cologne.

"Yeah, so flamboyant today you'd probably put Cher to shame and she's the biggest drag queen in the world!"

"Oh yeah right Wormtail, like that's true. Cher's not the biggest drag queen, Dr. Frank 'N' Furter is, Duh." (To all those Rocky Horror fans!) James scoffed at his friend.

"Guys...I think Cher's a real woman..." Remus said pushing Sirius's head from his shoulder.

James and Peter looked at each other and back at Remus and burst out laughing.

"That's a good one Moony."

The bells on the door to the Three Broomsticks jingled slightly and Kevin Gregory stepped in humming his favorite song, Benny and the Jets. James, Remus and Peter looked up at their roommate Kevin, Sirius, and back to Kevin in befuddlement. Sirius just grinned slightly and continued slurping down the milkshake he insisted he and Remus share.

"Is there some memo about showing flamboyant-ness today that we didn't get?" Peter questioned seriously.

Kevin strolled toward them wearing an outfit that almost was as shocking as Sirius's. He wore a tight lace up leather vest with no shirt underneath so you could see the little patch of red chest hairs he had shaved to the shape of a heart. His pants or rather his cowboy chaps were also shiny black leather that exposed his leopard print Speedo like underwear. His feathery long red hair was tied into a long ponytail that whished from side to side as he walked. He hadn't even bothered to cover up with a robe so James, Peter, and Sirius wondered why he hadn't been sent back to the castle yet. He walked over to them and blinked suggestively from behind his large sunglasses that took up most of the space on his face and were the shape of purple stars and covered in some glittery substance. It looked as if he had stolen them straight from Elton John's private collection.

He took their stunned silence as an invatation to join them.

"Hello, hello, hello-" Kevin sang lightly.

"Kevin, piss off. We have enough of this- " James motioned wildly at Sirius's ensemble, "-already. We don't need it from you too." James finished brashly returning his eyes to Lily at the bar who was being approached slowly by Professor Chester.

Kevin seemed to ignore him and took a seat next to Sirius.

"Oh, oh no. I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello, hello, hello." Kevin continued merrily pinching Remus's cheek, and not the one on his face, mind you.

"Ow!" Remus squealed.

Lynn looked over to her distraught boyfriend and her mouth fell to the ground in shock.

"I cannot believe him! He must be some sort of weird gay guy magnet!" she yelled being restrained to her barstool by Sunny who had regained her normal serenity.

"Err...and how do you feel about that?" Lily questioned following Faye's orders.

Lynn looked at Lily with a noticeable twitch in her eyes.

"How do I- how do I?" she sputtered.

Thankfully, Lily was spared from her wrath as Professor Chester stood in front of her, a grin appearing on his broad face along with the slimy white substance Lily hoped was spit.

"Miss Evans." he said in a low tone.

"Err...Professor Chester?" Lily responded, a bit surprised by his approaching her.

"What's that you got there?" his beefy hands reached over and removed her half-eaten root beer float from the counter.

"It's a root beer float..." Lily said which was useless because by the time she said that he was half finished with the large gulp he took from Lily's straw.  Lily stomach turned as she saw him giving her a suggestive grin from over the glass after running his fat tongue over his chapped lips.

"Eww...I'll never touch a root beer float again..." Faye said also watching the man's strange antics.

"What's this?" he questioned, his dirty grin never leaving his obese cherub-like face.

"What's what?" Lily answered his question with another question.

"Is that a trace of alcohol I detect?" he asked with apparently false sternness.

Faye looked shocked and turned to Lily who just shook her head profusely.

"N-no, of course not!" Lily spat out.

"I think it is."

"He can think about something more than perverted thoughts about naked chicks floating on clams-?" Faye started to say before being nudged painfully in the stomach by Sunny.

"It's not, really!" Lily protested. Her eyes had the same glazed over look that Sunny usually got when Faye says something particularly mean.

"Yes, it is. Evans I am surprised at you, being a prefect and all!" Chester said, the grin never leaving his face.

"Oh, professor please doesn't suspend her badge!" Sunny exclaimed as if it were herself getting in trouble.

"Yeah, it's not her fault she's a drunkard, I think it runs in her family, you should hear what they do to eggnog at Christmas time!" Faye said also jumping to her defense, while Lynn twirled around on her barstool mixing coffee into sugar instead of the other way around saying things in what seemed to be another language.

"Professor, please believe me!" Lily pleaded.

"I'm afraid I'll have to give you..." he seemed to pause as his eyebrows curved deviously, "a detention."

All four of them gasped as Lily was the only one of them who never got a detention before.

"No, no..." Lily gasped in a stupor.

"With me, darling. Tonight." Chester continued his grin unmoving.

"No, No!" Lily screeched out a little louder.

"I'm afraid so darling. See you tonight." He said waddling out of the building but not before placing Lily's glass back down on the table on top of a folded piece of parchment.

A few minutes after he left they stayed silent watching Lily's eye take on a twitch similar to Lynn's. Finally Faye spoke up.

"...You know, you could've told me if you wanted a drink Lils...my brother has a private supply of Firewhiskey in his dorm.

"I didn't drink anything!" Lily screeched in her ear.

"Whatever you say...rummy."

"I can't seem to place what's wrong with Lynn..." Remus said stroking his chin, looking across the tables to the bar where Lynn was nervously stirring a cup of sugar and glaring back at him with her bloodshot gray eyes. Kevin looked at her and turned to Remus.

"Why do you build her up, buttercup baby just to let her down, mess her around? And worst of all you never call baby when you say you will but she loves ya still, she needs you more than anyone baby-."

"How do you get the patch in such a bright red, Kevin, when your hair is much lighter?" Peter interrupted Kevin's meaningful message and began to finger his fuzzy chest hair with wonder. Kevin looked flattered for a moment and began singing a whole new song.

"She comes in colors everywhere, and combs her hair, she's like a rainbow..."

Sirius turned towards her as well and began to stroke Remus's leg seductively and she growled like some class of wild beast. That's when Sirius good a devious idea.  He chuckled as he slid under the table.

"Err... Padfoot, where ya goin'?" Remus said sliding his robe over his lap.

"You'll *Woof*" Sirius said, emerging from under the table as a large black dog.  Some of the wizards sitting around them rose from their seats and backed out of the bar cautiously, thinking he was a grim.

Lynn watched her barstool and set down her mug with a quivering hand, waiting to see what Sirius was planning to do as a dog.

"What's that cutesy puppy wuppy doing in here?" Sunny squealed in delight forgetting Lily's dilemma.

"That's a grim, genius." Faye smirked.

"I don't believe in grims. I believe in misunderstood dogs that are shunned by superstitious wizards. What's the deal with black animals anyway? Muggles are afraid of black cats and wizards are afraid of black dogs. Is it some conspiracy?" Sunny continued.

Lily and Lynn just mumbled incoherently and watched on.

"Maybe it's come to get Black. Eh Lynn?" Faye said nudging Lynn in her side.

"Oh no. What will you say when your children ask about their father?" Sunny questioned in a smart alecky way.

"Well I'll just say-hey!" Faye gasped at Sunny's remark. "It's my job to be an ass about things not yours!"

Sunny didn't even hear Faye's response as she, along with most people at the bar, was staring at the dog with her mouth hanging on the floor or in a fit of laughter.

"Hey what's the deal?" Faye asked.

Sunny grabbed her chin and turned her face to the dog and what he was doing, or rather who he was doing. Faye gasped when she saw Remus screaming and flailing his arms because of the dog that had dug his paws into both of his shoulders and jerking its shaggy hips back and forth and up and down on Remus's leg. James had torn his eyes away from Lily and was cackling into his drink and Peter was on the floor giving into all kinds of sputtering laughter. Kevin stood above the 'couple' singing quite loud enough for everyone to hear,

"Ooh, when I get this feeling I want sexual healing. Sexual...healing, somethin' that's good for me..."

"You sick, twisted perv get off of my leg!" Remus shouted trying to move his leg from the dog's massive body which was writhing on top of him.

"That son of a bitch!" Lynn screamed tearing all three of her friends' eyes from the spectacle Sirius was making of himself and Remus.

"Of course it's a son of a bitch, it's a dog." Faye said choking through laughter.

"Arrrgggghhh!" Lynn howled nearly ripping out her hair in frustration. She leaped off the barstool and into Sunny who had already planted her feet in front of her, blocking her view.

"Oh no you don't," Sunny said restraining her with much force. "We can't have you tearing after everything that goes after Remus, twice in one day."

Lynn quickly uprooted herself from Sunny and stood panting, red with rage.

"I will get my revenge!" she swore before seeping out the door and straight into Rusty Pete's Owl Emporium.

"Eww... what is that perv doing to my brother?!" Jules screeched. 

Severus, who occupied the seat next to her, wiped some tears from his eyes as he clutched his stomach from the pain of the laughter.

"Wow, that Lupin sure can pick 'em!" he howled with laughter at his own joke slapping at the table.

"It's not funny Sevvie. What if Siri- err...that dog did that to you?" Jules said casting worried looks over her shoulder.

Severus stopped laughing momentarily and looked at her.

"They do mean stuff to mean all the time! Can't you let me have my fun?" Severus asked kind of annoyed.

"That's different!"

"How so?" he asked crossing his pale and bony arms.

"How would you like it if some deranged mutt did that to you or me?"

"I always feel like some deranged mutt is after you when I see the way Black stares at you as if he's some wild animal planning to jump your bo-" Snape was interrupted by Jules shook on his shoulder with laughter at his side.

"What?" Snape questioned.

"You called him a- when he really is- mutt..." Jules managed to get out through her laughter. Severus looked on wearing a confused expression on his pasty face.

"...Right." he murmured.

"Oh, Sevvie..." she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. She could see the color slowly but surely, color rise to his face.

"Well err...yeah umm...but...I...super." words came carelessly out of Snape's mouth.  He couldn't really talk considering his stomach was flip flopping all around.

Suddenly Sirius or the dog let out a loud groan and crashed down backwards to the floor. His hairy stomach heaved up and down as he panted deeply. It was completely fake but his audience didn't know that...

This bought on a whole new set of chuckles from Severus and this time Jules gave in and giggled a bit too. Slowly he eased one of his arms around her waist.

"Oh no!" Jules exclaimed suddenly, making Severus's hand zip back up around his neck as quick as a flash.

"What, what happened, what?" he questioned frantically.

"Hide, now Lil's coming!" she hissed pushing him under the table extremely quick.

Severus clambered under the table into a crouching position. They had been playing this game all day.  Every time they went into a store and saw someone coming to them the other would hide to avoid 'confrontations' as Snape put it. The truth was Snape was afraid of getting beaten to a bloody pulp by Sirius and the others more often than he had to be.

Lily, Sunny and Faye approached Jules at her small table in the back and greeted her.

"Hi girls!" Jules said a little too enthusiastically.

"Err...hi Jules. Is everything okay?" Lily said sitting down placing down her empty glass and the paper Chester had slid to her.

Sunny and Faye followed the suit and pulled up chairs to the table.

Under the table Snape crawled away from Lily and the other's feet feeling they would sense his presence somehow. Jules felt him near her feet and rubbed her ankle against his shoulder making him yelp slightly.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." Jules said hastily.

"What was that?" Sunny asked looking around.


"I didn't hear anybody screaming." Jules reassured her nervously.

"Oh, okay."

"Did you see what that mutt was doing to your Bro?" Faye asked sniggering.

Snape heard this and began giggling quietly under the table. Sunny heard this and snapped up in her chair, kicking Severus in the process.

"Ow!" came a cry from under the table.

"Now, I know you guys heard that!" Sunny exclaimed.

"...No..." Lily and Faye said in unison as Jules blushed.

"Anyway, we came hear to get your help." Lily said.

"Yeah, Lynn went postal and ran out on us and we were wondering if you could tell us something about Remus..." Faye started.

"You see, we know he tells you everything..." Sunny said.

"We just wanted to know if he mentioned anything about being g-." Lily never got the last word out.  Just as she was about to ask the door flung open with a loud clatter of bells and Lynn stood shadowed in the doorway. She seemed to be standing amidst a crowd of...owls. Yes. Owls fluttering around her wildly, creating a breeze. Her gray eyes blazed as she surveyed the Three Broomsticks. Suddenly she extended her finger and shouted,

"Attack the evil one my brothers!" As soon as she said that all the owls swooped wildly around the bar creating a ruckus and mess everywhere they went. Glasses shattered as people leaped up from their seats to escape the madhouse of fowl she had created.

The owls pecked violently at people's heads and back as they surveyed the area for 'the evil one' suddenly one spotted a large shaggy dog laying on the floor and let out what seemed to be a battle cry. The other 20 owls stopped and responded, charging at the mutt. Sirius squealed like a helpless pig as he charged around the restaurant trying to avoid the wrath of the pissed off birds.

Lynn threw back her head and let out a freaky cackle as people rushed pass her to exit.

"What the hell is she doing?!" Lily screeched ducking an owl that swooped a little too near her head.

"Now do you see what happens when you keep animals in captivity for too long?" Sunny said calmly looking around.

"Who are you talking about, Lynn or the owls?" Faye yelled over the noise.

"She has a thing for owls..." Jules muttered.

"I have to go talk to her...!" Lily said making her way through the crowd of attacking birds.

"What do we do till then?!" Jules questioned as a bird dropped a bit of butterbeer out of a glass it was clutching. "Eww..." she said using Lily's piece of parchment she had left under her glass to wipe her face.

"We gotta hide!" Faye screamed pulling both of them under the table.

Faye and Sunny squealed with fright as they saw Severus Snape cowering under the table.

"Err...what?" Jules asked pretending not to see anything.

Faye turned to face Sunny.

"Did you just see Severus Snape under here too?"

"Err...yeah."

"Good girl." Faye said assuring herself that she wasn't crazy and just seeing things.

Outside people were scurrying away from the Three Broomsticks like mice.  James, Peter, Remus, and Kevin stood amidst the madness seeing if Sirius would make it out alive.

"London Calling to the faraway towns, Now that war is declared-and battle come down..." Kevin sang to himself.

"Kevin, I told you once, I told you twice, and I won't tell you three times to hush up!-What is she doing in there still, she can get hurt!" James exclaimed frantically jumping up and down like an impatient little kid trying to glimpse a view of Lily.

"Err...your best friend is still in there too, you know." Peter said reminding James of Sirius who was still in there as a dog crashing into things as he bounded from the flock of owls that were after them. Remus frowned at the thought as he used a wet napkin to wipe of his leg.

"Frankly I wouldn't give a rat's ass if they pecked his ass in..." Remus muttered.

"You're saying my ass is no concern to you Remus?" Peter asked.

"They probably will peck his ass out along with a few other accessories, Lynn sent them in there and you know what she's like." James said still scanning for Lily.

"Oh no," Remus said dropping his napkin, "I think she had too much coffee again..."

Sirius duck behind the bar as the owls pecked all the bottles behind him. He took the owl's distraction as the perfect time to change back into a human. As he did the owls looked around questioningly.

"A dog? I think he went that-a-way." Sirius replied sticking his thumb in the opposite direction.

The owls fluttered off out the door passing a temporarily deranged Lynn.

"Hehehe...stupid owls. And mom says I couldn't outwit a brick."

Jules took the opurtunity to get from under the table dragging Severus up by his collar, away from the awkward silence that flowed under the table.

"Good go!"  Jules breathed.

"But-." Severus started.

"Please just leave before Sirius sees you." Jules said wiping a smudge of dirt off his face with the same piece of parchment she used to clean the butterbeer off.

"Okay bye..." Severus muttered as Jules placed the parchment in his breast pocket.

"Sorry." Jules said pecking his cheek slightly.

Snape stumbled away speechless. He walked over tables and broken glass smiling like some class of idiot. He shook all the fluffy thoughts out of his head and looked over his shoulder at Sirius who was dusting himself off.

"Score: Snape-1, Black- 8,793.5, I'm catching up!" Snape said pleased with himself as he strolled past Lynn and Lily, who were watching the owls flutter overhead and out the door heading to Madame Pudifoot's.

"Now, do you know why you're not allowed to have coffee?" Lily questioned disapprovingly.

"Err...I get caffeine crazy at times?" Lynn suggested watching as Sirius approached them.

"Oh here we go again." Lily muttered in her hands.

Sirius stood in front of Lynn with his hands on his hips and a sassy grin twisted on his face.

"I like your outfit Siri!" Jules shouted from across the deserted restaurant.

"Well if you got it, you gotta work it!" Sirius replied slapping his bum.

"Ooh, you better believe this is on girlfriend...mmhmm..." Sirius said making little snapping motions with his hands.

Lily stood back ready to restrain Lynn yet again but Lynn just stood there glaring at her-him. Lynn breathed in and extended her fingers before sweeping back her flat hand and bringing it back into Sirius's face. A swift cracking noise echoed through The Three Broomsticks. Jules, Sunny, and Faye looked on not even breathing. Sirius griped his cheek and stood astounded. Soon enough he back slapped her. That's when things really got on. Lynn jumped on top of Sirius pinning him down and begun laying blows on his already pecked face repeatedly. He struggled and flailed his arms wildly in the air but to no avail.

"Err...shouldn't you stop them Miss Prefect?" Jules reminded Lily who was just leaning on a wall filing her fingernails.

"Nah...She should really get this out of her system..."

Lynn had Sirius by the neck of his frilly rainbow shirt and was jerking him back and forth, shaking what little brain cells he had left.

"I have been waiting to do this for years!" Lynn screamed into Sirius's face.

"I-i-i-s t-t-that all you g-g-g-got, wussy?!" Sirius shouted as Lynn pummeled him in his stomach.

"Come on, get up and fight me like a girl!"

"Argh!" Sirius screamed charging at her.

"Oh this is too good..." Faye said chuckling to herself.

Sirius lifted his arms and let his hands go limp at the wrist before he began slapping Lynn across the face.

"Lils?" Sunny questioned.

"Not yet."

Lynn got by Sirius fierce blows and wrapped her hands around Sirius's neck and began strangling him, ripping off his rainbow scarf in the process. He started turning various shades of purple and red before Lily gave the word to break it up.

"Ok, ok, ok battles over girls." Jules said kicking them apart.

Sirius regained his breath and began laughing uproariously. 

"Oh, great. You stopped the flow of oxygen to his head." Faye said.

Sirius wasn't laughing because of brain damage though. He was in a fit because his prank worked so well he may have gotten rid of Lynn forever. Lynn clutched a chair to refrain from lashing out again.

"You go ahead and take Remus! I'll still get my revenge!" Lynn shouted.

"Oh, honey child it's about time you gave up, Remus will be happy to know you've made the right choice. On the plus side though he has me now! I'm sexy, I'm cuddly..."

"Stop him please." Faye muttered.

Lynn just gripped the chair harder.

"I'm cute, my ass looks great in leather..."

"Restrain the mighty Hulk, Lils" sunny said pointing to Lynn.

"I can sing with a full mouth-if you get my drift- and I'm just better built to boot." Sirius finished.

"You done?" Lynn questioned tightly.

Lynn seemed to be waiting for him to finish because as soon as he did she lifted the chair high over her head and flung it in his direction. It landed with a loud thud in Sirius's gut. He let out a loud squeal and sank to the floor. Lynn wiped her hands together and stepped over Sirius to get to the door.

"You guys comin'? I gotta return those owls before Old man Rusty wakes up and finds out I stole them!" Lynn questioned.

Everyone cautiously stepped over Sirius and filed out of the place. Lynn stayed back and looked down at Sirius.

"Tell your 'boyfriend' hi from me...and if I were you I would make sure Mr. Lemmiwinks is in your dorm before nine, unless you want him to meet the same fate of your hamster..." She said referring to Sirius's old hamster that Peatree ate back on the train to Hogwarts in their first year. Sirius had been devastated and held a grudge against Lynn ever since.

She slammed to door closed with a jingle.

"She wouldn't. Would she?" Sirius wondered aloud.

Outside Lynn caught up to the girls and looked around.

"So...did any of you happen to see which ways the owls went?"

"Oh great. A day of owl hunting and detention, lucky me!" Lily said sarcastically.

AN- Hello again! I plan on updating this again soon because frankly, I enjoy writing this fic the best.  Keep on truckin'. And by truckin' I mean reviewing...