Disclaimer-I don't own Harry Potter, if I did you know I wouldn't botch it up like this…

AN-Do you ever get that feeling that you've been writing forever…but you never really get anywhere…? Eighteen pages ahead folks…Better used the bathroom and gather your snacks now…

"...Stupid cat," Sirius muttered to himself as he glared at the menacing package which now shook and rattled violently with each muted howl that came from within. Remus and Peter chose to ignore Sirius, as they had been doing so since he returned to the room. So far, he had succeeded in deeming most of the inanimate objects in the room stupid, and he was just starting on things that actually bothered him now (i.e. Peter, hellion-cat, Kevin...).

"Shouldn't we send the hellion off to torture Evans now?" Peter whined out, his voice muffled into his slobbery pillow.

"We have to sign it from James. We don't need her thinking she has another stalker in the castle..."

"Sirius took care of it."

"You sure?"

"He's got his signature greeting on there, the one that's never failed in the -ahem- lady's department...at least for him..." Peter added quickly.

"What? You've tried it?" Remus said, using his last bit of energy to chuckle at his friend's pathetic attempt to get a date. It was almost sad really. The key word being almost.

"...Shut up..."

Sirius leaned back on Remus's bed, slightly bumping against an extremely exhausted Remus who was also spread out on the bed. Unlike Sirius, Peter and Remus had grotesque red marks etched all over their face and hands, along with a few scorch marks, thanks to the deranged cat, which Remus had concluded as half dragon.

"Errllaacckkk…." Peter moaned dreadfully into his pillow as he curled himself into a little ball on his bed. "How long does James plan to use the shower? What do you think he's doing in there?"

"Hmm...Quite a vast variety, hands...soap..." Remus muttered only half jokingly to his clearly confused comrade.

"...Stupid pillow," Sirius moaned to himself yet again as he punched Remus's pillow out of frustration, narrowly missing Remus's head.

"What?" Peter inquired, quite appalled at Remus's answer.

"Ah, nothing, nothing, just steer clear of the 'soap scum' he leaves behind...and don't expect any cold water-"

"...Stupid mutt." Sirius grumbled as he glared down at the dark puppy that just gazed up at him as a puddle of his own drool surrounded his paws. The puppy, Peter had taken to calling him Sir Elton John (for some odd reason), had spent as much of the morning pining after Sirius as Sirius had spent naming off the stupid things he could spot.

"...What the hell is he doing with our soap?" Peter squeaked out again, attempting to clear his ears with his scarred finger.

"Stop talking about yourself, Sirius." Remus responded automatically, turning his head to face the wall yet again.

"Pssst, I think something's wrong with Padfoot." Peter hissed across the room in a sad attempt of a whisper. Sirius, feeling ultra moody and bitter, didn't even bother to dignify Remus with n answer, so he just glowered down at him, trying to spook him with his fabled "stink eye".

"How long did it take you to come up with that deduction?"

"Stupid Snape." Sirius whined as he flopped down backwards, crashing down on Remus's back in the process.

"...I get the feeling something's ailing you." Remus said thoughtfully over his shoulder.

"I got problems, Moony..."

"...I know that. We all know that."

"Not those problems-"

"You sure? We know it's not your fault you were dropped on the heads multiple times as a child." Peter piped up, helping Sir Elton John onto the bed along with Sirius where it immediately seated himself upon Sirius's head and proceeded with beating him with his frantic tail.

"Peter, go occupy yourself." Remus ordered in frustration, shooing his dopey little comrade away irritably.

"But-but James is already occupying the shower, according to you." Peter whispered in a slightly embarrassed manner.

"Not that occupying, just go!" Sirius snapped, demonstrating his dangerously short temper. "You're bugging the hell out of me...and that little dog of yours..." Sirius muttered in a dark voice, slitting his eyes sinisterly at Peter.

"..." Peter's eyes darted back and forth between Sirius, who had made himself suspiciously comfortable lounging atop of Remus's back, and Remus, who was unsuccessfully try to prop himself up on his elbows to face Sirius, but was failing as he was being crumbled by his weight.

"What?" they both asked in unison as a sly yet shy grin appeared on Peter's round, now flushed face.

"If you guys, Er, you know, wanted to be-um..." he started to say bashfully.

"What are you going on about?"

"Ahh..."

"Spit it out!"

"Er, if you guys wanted to be alone, you could've just told me." Peter finished quickly, suddenly turning his attention to the window on the opposite side of the room as Remus and Sirius stared at him blankly.

"..."

"..."

"You...sick...bastard." Sirius managed to get out, his face set in perturbed expression.

"What?"

"Peter, first of all, Sirius is the only gay one in this room-" Remus started to say logically, pushing Sirius off of his back roughly as Sir Elton John pounced off of Sirius's head and began to burrow under one of the many comforters on Remus' mattress.

"Sheesh! A guy can't even dress up like-" Sirius started to protest in outrage before Remus interrupted.

"A Village People reject?"

"Do I look like Kevin?!" Sirius screeched, immensely annoyed at his friends as he felt a patch of his jeans become moist and slightly warm for a moment, yet he was a bit to livid to notice fully.

Peter and Remus suddenly found the ceiling very interesting for the moment as they ignored Sirius's inquiry innocently enough, even whistling to give themselves the cluelessly innocent edge.

"...Just what are you guys trying to say?! Honestly…it's not like I dressed up like Cher like Kevin originally intended me too…"

"...Er, Remus, do you smell that?" Peter asked abruptly, scrunching up his face in disgust as a musty scent floated up to his nose.

"Don't try to change the subject!"

"He's not. What the heck is that?" Remus inquired, sniffing his sheets like the true wolf he was.

"I don't smell anything!" Sirius continued on.

"You really don't smell it? It smells like-"

Peter stooped short as Remus threw the top comforter off of his bed and let it tumble to the floor. He searched up and down for the source of the horrible scent until his eyes rested upon the spreading puddle stretching across Sirius's right thigh and down between his...crotch.

"Sirius!"

"...I really hope that's just pee...And I just grossed myself out by saying that....Eww...." Peter moaned retreating to his own quarters.

"Sirius! What do I have to do, break out with the newspaper again?" Remus said utterly disgusted.

"I'll have you know, I mastered that skill! It wasn't even me!"

"Oh really?" Remus asked skeptically, narrowing his eyes at his furiously blushing friend.

"Of course not! It was Sir Elton John!" Sirius spoke out truthfully.

"...Riighhhttt..."

"Are you trying to tell me Elton John came to my bed in the middle of the night and took a leak on my bed? Are you serious?"

"Yes! I am Sirius!"

"I told you he was mad, Remus...." Peter hissed in a highly audible whisper in Remus's direction.

"Don't you love him madly…?"  Kevin practically purred out, waltzing through the open doorway and over to the mirror in a misty fashion that suited him oh so well.

"…Is he talking about me?" Sirius hissed in Remus' ear, clearly baffled at the other roommate's sudden appearance.

"Morning, Kevin," Remus greeted cheerfully, blatantly ignoring Sirius' thickness.

"You were gone last night Kevin so we Er…kind of let Remus' kids-" Peter started to confess hesitantly before Remus cut him off testily,

"-very distant relatives." He snapped, throwing a reprimanding glare in Peter's direction.

"-We let them sleep on your bed, hope you don't mind…Except for Elton John, he loves sleeping with Sirius." Peter finished, watching as Kevin seemingly ignored them and contently brushed his wispy red hair in various directions in the mirror, humming a quaint little tune to himself pleasantly.

"…You know Remus," Sirius whispered sincerely.

"What?" Remus responded, obviously annoyed as he tossed his oiled bed sheets to one side for the house-elves to collect later.

"I really think that was his opium we found that time-" Sirius concluded, jutting his thumb in Kevin's direction.

"-In your trunk? Honestly, do you listen to yourself sometimes?"

"Kevin, what's up?" Peter inquired tentatively, as he stared on with a quirky expression plastered on his pudgy face.

"I've got sunshine...on a cloudy day," Kevin started to explain delicately.

"…Hey, it's snowing…" Peter noted contently, motioning out towards the window.

"When its cod outside, I've got the month of May…"

"Peter, Remus, what the heck is your friend going on about? Stop him before your kids star howling-" Sirius commanded bluntly, rolling his eyes and roaming back over to his own bed.

"I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way?"

"We figured it out; it's that opium you Er…planted in my trunk…not that I would know what the effects of opium are…" Sirius interrupted yet again as he flopped onto his own bed, eagerly pursued by Sir Elton John who struggled to clamber up onto the edge of his mattress.

"My girl, my girl, my girl…"

"Oh no," Peter ejected fretfully, "Not another Evans."

"Talking 'bout my girl…" Kevin responded vaguely, pointing over to his bed where daily planner which was currently serving as a blanket for one of the three puppies.

"Er…Remus' puppy-son is a boy dog, Kevin…" Peter pointed out dully, a blank expression washing over his features.

"Let's see here…" Remus muttered, logically looking under the dog to read the planner. The whole page marked for the week was in most part blank, save the few times it quoted songs or little footnotes that said rather bemusing things concerning Sirius, though that day, Sunday was decorated with little happy faces, swelling pink hearts and under closer inspection Kevin had scrawled out in his curvy handwriting 'Study' Date with my angelic, alluring, exquisite potions partner…

"…Remus…?" Peter out hesitantly, shiftily gazing between the day planner and Kevin.

"What?"

"Aren't you Kevin's potions' partner…?"

"…The plot thickens." Sirius announced menacingly, rubbing his palms together greedily from behind his drawn bed curtains.

"Do you even know what that phrase means, Sirius?" Remus questioned skeptically.

"…I think it's pretty obvious to everyone in this room that I don't." Sirius responded haughtily in order not to loose face.

"You dimwit-"

"Who do you mean, Remus? Me or Sirius?" Peter inquired, clearly puzzled.

"Do I really need to specify? Anyway…I switched partners with Kevin who had James who traded Kevin to Sunny for the last slice of pie which ended up being traded to you Peter from Tad who wanted your partner, Lily." Remus explained in a slow, logical pace in attempt not to loose Peter, which he did anyway.

"…Quest-ce le point…?" Peter spoke up, demonstrating to Remus one of the two phrases he managed to pick up after living with his French grandmother for years (the other being 'idiot inutile')

"…He can learn French, but he can't follow a to-minute sentence." Remus sighed out exasperatedly, slapping a hand to his forehead.

"Anyone can learn Frank-kais (Français), look. I have un oui-oui." Sirius announced boastingly, nodding to Remus to encourage any compliments he might've been holding back.

"The point is, Peter," Remus said, ignoring Sirius' comments. "My partner is James, Kevin's partner is Sunny, Tad's partner is Lily, your partner is a half-eaten piece of cake, and Sirius' received an automatic fail for mooning Professor Chester."

"…So…Kevin's got the hots for you?" Peter questioned dully, scratching his tousled hair as he obviously racked his brain for an understanding of the conservation.

"Dimwit!" Remus concluded, throwing his arms up in the air clearly annoyed.

"Well I just thought-"

"What is with your newly acquired unhealthy obsession with gay relationships?!"

"'Cause it's been building up inside of him for, oh, I don't know how long…" Kevin spewed out the tune in an offhand manner as he silently dug through the contents of Remus' makeup drawer.

"Now, I got that meaning." Sirius stated proudly, momentarily forgetting his sulkiness.

"Kevin," Remus said turning his attention to a clearly nervous Kevin who was applying blush tentatively, "I'm surprised in you. You never told us you liked Sunny." Remus commented, slightly bemused.

"I don't know why but I keep on thinking something's bound to go wrong…"

"Why, you're a great guy." Remus assured him cheerfully.

"And you're dead sexy." Peter added unabashed, despite the perturbed looks Remus and Sirius were throwing him.

"Ah, Freak out! Le Freak, c'est chic, freak out-" Kevin started up another tune, his self-esteem steadily increasing.

"-Not that sexy. That's my theme song." Sirius interrupted him, placing a steadying hand on his shoulder in order to halt Kevin's spirited gyrations.

"See? You pull that off better than Sirius; you could get any girl…" Peter stated, slapping Kevin firmly on the back.

"Yeah, now it's just the fact that you can't talk…and the minor issue that you sing the Beach Boys, I mean, what kind of masculine image is that supposed to convey?" Sirius inquired derisively.

"And we could really use your help if you get in good with Sunny, Kevin." Remus noted.

"…He said 'get in good'…" Sirius pointed out, chuckling at the childish joke he had made.

"What do you mean Remus?" Peter questioned, in the dark like he usually was.

"Well…Sunny's good friends with Lily and a certain good friend of ours could use a bit of help from inside enemy lines…"

"Sunny, close the drapes, Lil's trying to get rest…" Lynn murmured, sticking her head underneath Lily's pillow to shield her sensitive eyes from the soft sunlight pouring through the window.

"…If you've haven't noticed you're the only one still in bed Lynn." Faye pointed out, ripping the pillow out of Lynn's grasp.

"I doubt Lil will be getting to sleep again any time soon…" Sunny muttered, her face etched with concern as she glanced at Lily who had been splashing her face with cold water for the last hour in attempt to tear her mind from the terrifying dream state.

"Eww…just like the time we watched that-what-ya-call-it- Brady Bunch marathon over her house over the summer…" Faye recalled, shuddering involuntarily for a brief moment.

"All those unearthly tight pants, who wouldn't get nightmares?" Lynn pondered aloud as she gingerly rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"You guys, she's coming out." Sunny announced hastily, motioning over to the open bathroom door where Lily was stepping out finally, padding her damp face with a towel. They watched on in silence as Lily hesitantly shuffled closer, warily eyeing them back.

"…Don't make any sudden movements…" Faye warned her friends, through an inconspicuous heart-wrenching smile she was directing at Lily, along with the other two.

"Aloha Amiga! How was your hour cleansing?" Lynn inquired cheerily, shooting up from the bed so suddenly it startled both Lily and Faye. Lynn was never one to follow instructions, especially from Faye, so of course she proceeded to bounce merrily near the edge of the bed, her previous intentions of catching a mid-morning nap long forgotten.

"…Lynn…?" Lily asked hesitantly after a short while of staring questioningly at Lynn for what seemed like hours.

"Yes?" Lynn replied in the sweetest voice she could muster, ignoring the reprimanding glares Faye was shooting her.

"Promise me, if you ever get a spectacular disco/ranch-"

"-That I'll set a ridiculously high admission fee and allow random children to spend the night with me…?" Lynn guessed randomly, watching Sunny scramble around the room from the corner of her eye.

"No, not that. We feel you'll already have a criminal record to your name by that time, and you don't need any of that business to add to your record…" Faye muttered derisively.

"No, no, no…I wanted to know if you would keep my ten children hostage and never allow them to darken my hallways as I'll already be stuck with Uncle Sirius." Lily finished blankly.

"…Will do…?" Lynn replied uneasily.

"That's nice. Now…would you mind getting off my bed? You're kind of, you know, putting your ass on my pillow…not a big fan of that…"

"Okay…just give me a moment…"

"Hey," Sunny called out, rustling through the junk that managed to pile up under Lynn's bed, "Have any of you seen my guitar? I have to go." She questioned briskly, shoving aside some old chocolate pastry with extreme caution.

"Check under Lynn's bed." Both Lily and Faye replied automatically without looking up to notice she was already searching frantically through the abyss which managed to claim most of everybody's belongings along with a few unidentified thongs that usually went unmentioned sake of the fact that most of them had the initials R.J.L. printed on them…

"I have. All I can find is old food, Lily's homework and thongs…! Not to mention these rather odd looking tubular balloons-" Sunny muttered frustrated, dangling one of the 'odd balloons' in front of her face for closer inspection as Lynn clambered down from Lily's bed and approached her.

"-Don't touch those!" Faye warned, her dark tone succeeding in making the consequences seem fatal.

"Why?"

"You'll catch some class of R.D." Lily stated in a similar warning tone.

"What's that…?" Sunny questioned, her child-like curiosity getting the best of her as she scooped up another of the limp rubber tubes.

"Remus disease. It's the reason why the poor lad is always out sick. Loving a broad who's not clean has its consequences, you know…" Faye spoke ominously, earning herself a rather obscene gesture from Lynn.

"I'll take those." Lynn said, stealthily wiping the two items from Sunny's hand.

"Er…Right then. I still need my guitar…"

"Well did you check behind the door?" Lily suggested.

"Or how about in the bathroom?"

"Check the common room."

"Maybe it's in the hall…"

"Or maybe that's it, under that rather suspicious rattling package that twitching owl just dropped through our window half an hour ago." Lynn suggested thoughtfully, stroking her chin as a sign of intellect as the other three eyed her strangely, as if they were about ready to smack her there and now.

"…Well…it's either that or a pet coffin…And since Lily commanded Faye to stop trying to murder Peatree while I slept, I guess it's a guitar."

"Quitters never prosper." Faye hissed acidly. 

"When did that box get here?" Lily inquired suspiciously in a low voice, getting up from her sitting position on the bed cautiously in order to gain a better view.

"I didn't even see it come in…" Sunny responded softly in an equally hushed tone, taking time to inspect all sides of the parcel which was now shaking violently as strangled yowls leaked from under the strapped down lid.

"Who's it from?" Faye questioned, following the whispering suit.

"Why's it howling?" Lynn asked quite frankly startling everybody in the room with her pronounced tone, coming as booming compared to everybody else's.

"…Why do you speak?" Faye questioned, clearly annoyed with Lynn at the moment as Sunny snatched up her guitar cautiously before sweeping past the trio and making her way to the door.

"Sunny, where're you going?"  

"I gotta go guys, sorry. I planned to meet K-Er…somebody at breakfast-" Sunny replied hesitantly, shifting her gaze as to make sure she didn't meet anyone's eyes.

"…Sunny…"

"Yes Lily?"

"An unidentified, rattling, screeching parcel appears in our room and all you can think about is meeting some bloke who doesn't even talk?" Lily probed on in a state of disbelief towards Sunny's one-track mind.

"Well…"

"I see our worth to you." Lynn commented curtly, in mock hurt, turning away from Sunny.

"Er…"

"Sit down." Faye commanded briskly, jerking Sunny down roughly by her long dangling tan ponytail.

"Why do I have to say, it's addressed to Lily!" Sunny whined, struggling against Faye's grasp, not really wanting to be around once that package was opened.

"That's right, and just like all her other mail, I'll open it." Lynn stated firmly, gently tugging the tightly bound ropes off the parcel.

"…You do what to my mail?"

Lynn chose wisely to ignore Lily at that particular moment as she slowly reached her hand down and quickly flipped open the lid of the package, despite the incriminating scraping sounds that were coming from the box. Faye, Lynn, Lily, and even a previously reluctant Sunny all drew in their breaths sharply in silent anticipation. Slowly they peered down into the shredded remains of the box. Peering back up at them was a hissing ball of pitch dark fur, complete with two blazing scarlet eyes.

An accumulated gasp swept over the group as they gazed on in a stunned stupor at the odd catlike creature.  Lily silently backed away about two steps, catching the creature's sharp eye.  It recoiled into the corner hissing, keeping its eyes intently fixed on Lily for a moment before letting out a sort of strangled grunting noise while extending its dark, velvety wings.

"…Well then…Now that that's been settled…" Sunny said lightly, getting to her feet slowly before Faye yanked her down by her hair yet again.

"…What is that beast?" Faye questioned, her expression fixed on bewilderment and gross fear.

"It's so…cute!" Lynn squealed breathlessly, reaching down to pet the creature before Lily managed to hold her back just in case the thing was willing to spring up and attack. 

"Who sent this thing?!" Faye demanded fretfully, ripping off the envelope stuck sloppily on the side of the dingy box, as if it had been stuck there last minute.

"To you, you lucky broad, from Me, the forever loving lover Sirius Black, I'll probably owl you eventually!" Faye read out bluntly before pausing again, "Oh, that's nice." She muttered sarcastically, pulling out a crumbled up piece of parchment from within the envelope.

The cat-like animal still held his gaze on Lily, churning its wings into a steady, consistent flap until it managed to rise out of the box, hover for a brief moment, and then propelled its way to Lily.

"…Er…Guys…" Lily whispered through a strangled voice, her voice evidently caught in her throat as the creature's mini wings flapped dangerously close to her face, blowing her fiery hair all about in frenzy.

"He's got the nerve!" Faye growled out heatedly as she scanned her eyes briskly through the note.

"What?" Lynn questioned, curious.

"It's-it's touching my face…" Lily squeaked out faintly as the winged cat nuzzled her cheek fondly and let out a low purring sound.

"Here," Faye snapped, sniffing huffily as she thrust the note in Lynn's hands roughly, "The jerk doesn't even have the decency to write more than one note! That's the same one he gave Remus!" Faye exclaimed outraged.

"Why-why is Sirius Black sending me love notes?!" Lily screeched breathlessly, attempting not to move as the creature circled her head, continuing to purr fondly, its brushy tail directed up and tickling Lily's nose ever so often.

"Apparently…there's something about Lily." Lynn concluded, slightly amused as she reached out to pet the cat, a grave mistake they realized as the cat, aware of her intentions, fastened itself onto Lily's head, threw back its head and let out a near ear-splitting yowl as if someone were attempting to murder it rather than touch it.

"Lil, shut it up!" Sunny urged frantically, shutting the door as to not attract any unwanted attention from passerby first-years.

"Quiet…Er…Cassidy…!" Lily commanded meekly, cautious not to have the creature's wrath directed at her. Surprisingly, the cat's screech halted immediately, and it resumed its contented position mulling about in Lily's hair.

"How can something so little make so much noise?" Lynn questioned astonished, earning derisive glares from the other three who practically towered several inches above her.

"…What are you guys trying to say?!" Lynn wailed defensively, crossing her arms defiantly as her pale eyes blazed on in their direction.

"Er…Cassidy? As in Butch or David…?" Sunny questioned evidently amused at Lily's choice of name, urgent to change the subject as Lynn was prone to get louder when they touched a subject she was sensitive on, i.e. her height or lack there of.

"Er…most likely Butch; David Cassidy reminds me too much of Kevin…" Lily muttered, shuddering involuntarily for a moment, reliving her disturbing dream.

"Ah…I think David Cassidy's cute." Sunny commented in a meek, somewhat shy voice.

"…You would…" Faye mumbled, snatching the note from Lynn, who was still seething in the corner over the comment about her size.

"But the question is," Faye started to say, "Since when does Sirius think the same about Lily?"

"I think its something in the water in their dorm…" Sunny suggested, edging towards the door once again only to be stopped by Faye once more.

"Or maybe Potter's stupidity is contagious."

"I vote for Faye's logic." Lynn piped up.

"I-I really have to go Faye…Please stop ripping out my hair…" Sunny whimpered, peering up at the clock which read 9:30, fifteen minutes into breakfast already.

"He's up to something…" Lynn concluded suspiciously.

"I know, but there's only one real way to know exactly what he's up to…" Faye said suggestively, grinning maliciously in Sunny's direction.

"Na-uh. Not the thing with the wand-" Sunny replied hastily, shaking her head profusely earning questioning looks from Lily and Lynn.

"What thing with the-"

"Nothing," Faye assured them with an air of finality. "Now…don't you have to meet our dear friend Kevin who just happens to be a good friend of our dear Sirius?"

"Er…I don't quite follow…"

"You guys think Lil-Evans, got the package?" James inquired for about the millionth (literally) time, stopping Sirius in mid-chew as he ensued glaring at James, clearly disgusted.

"No, in fact, I think I got Corky so drunk this morning when we were at the pub with my Great-Uncle Sally, he accidentally flew to Snivellus' dorm." Sirius spat out, managing to spray half of the chewed up bacon and fried tomatoes in his mouth over Remus' platter, not to mention Remus.

"…So, wait. That hick with the boom-stick was really your Great-Uncle Sally?" Peter questioned dully, proceeding to shield his own porridge from Sirius.

"…Peter, don't you have a study session with your half eaten piece of cake?" James asked irritably, stabbing at his sausage as he attempted to conceal his flaming cheeks. James could handle being teased by most people, but the problem with Sirius teasing him was he just couldn't bring his self to hex him.

"…Why's it always me?" Peter growled bitterly under his breath, attempting to stab his sausage in a way similar to James' "Argh…this sausage is so dry…How come the house-elves never serve mustard with breakfast?" Peter questioned anyone who would listen, i.e. no one.

"Mean Mister Mustard sleeps in the park…Shaves in the dark trying to save paper…" Kevin sang with a melodic tune as he distractedly toyed with his fork on the other side of Remus.

"Shouldn't you be fretting over meeting Sunny?" Peter spat bitterly causing Kevin to sigh in a depressed manner before returning his attention to his fork.

"Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play…Now I need some place to hide away-"

"You can't hide away, we need you to tell us what Evans-" All Sirius had to do was to mention half of Lily's name and he had captivated James, who stared up at him fondly, as if Sirius was Lily himself, waiting for him to finish his sentence.

"What Evans-Er…what um…size…ah…" Sirius continued on blankly, gripping desperately for a good excuse.

"Knickers!" Peter exclaimed uselessly, attracting some attention from some second years whose whole world seemed to revolve around dirty language and dirty things in general. Peter, blushed violently before turning to Remus, hoping he at least had a way to delude James whose attention was fully theirs after Peter's lewd comment.

"What Peter here meant to say was-" Remus started, looking imploringly to Sirius on the other side of the table.

"-Yes, knickers. You know, we wanted to know the basics, what size, what color, cotton or silk…all that good stuff." Sirius finished up hastily, turning back to his plate.

"…"

"…Oh. Well, if you wanted to know, size 4 ½, sometimes 5, she usually wears pastels though in my opinion white flatters her figure the most, and she mainly wears cotton though she won't pass up a silk thong." James replied nonchalantly returning to his meal, as if they were discussing something as common as Quidditch scores or homework.

"Well then…that settles it…"

"There they are!" Lynn hissed in a poor whisper, audible to half of the table as she pointed down towards the five boys down the table whispering in little groups among each other.

"Now what Narc business do you want me to do?" Sunny questioned, resting her eyes intently on Kevin who seemed to be singing quite a melancholy song to Peter at the moment.

"It's not Narc business! I-We just want to know why Sirius' gotten such a new interest in Lily…Lily move the thingy please." Faye added offhandedly, brushing Cassidy from his hovering position over her head.

"His name is Cassidy. Call him like you would a civilized being please." Lily asked curtly, as she had taken a liking to the little odd creature that had taken to her so well.

"A civilized being doesn't breathe fire."  Lynn muttered, going unnoticed by Faye and Sunny who were carrying their own conversation.

"But…you just said Kevin doesn't talk. How will he be able to-?"

"Don't pull that with me, I know you can understand him!"

"Yeah, and I know that you know that she knows that you know that you can understand him, got it?" Lynn added.

"…What?" Sunny questioned, obviously puzzled.

"Just go!" all three urged exasperatedly, giving her a not-so-light shove on the back towards James' group.

"Hi Kevin," Sunny greeted meekly, approaching the boys from behind, grinning lightly as all five of them turned to her.

"Erm…Hi Sunny." Remus choked out a greeting, nodding and silently hoping James wouldn't mention their previous conversation over Lily's unmentionables.

"Hi Remus." Sunny greeted in response, waving a hand in his direction.

"Hi Sunny," Sirius echoed Remus, eyeing James shiftily.

"Er…Sirius…hi" Sunny responded, shooting him questioning glares from the corner of her eyes.

"Sunny-" Peter began to say before Remus clamped his hand over his mouth suddenly, preventing him from speaking.

"She's said hi already, you've missed your turn."

"Kevin," Sunny began to say, watching Kevin pluck a few stray chords on her guitar, clearly amused with the other object that seemed to be annoying Sirius with music as much as he did.

"How sweet, they're making sweet music together before our eyes," Sirius commented sardonically earning himself quite a painful nudge from Remus.

"Maybe we should go…somewhere else-"

"-Somewhere quiet-" Remus suggested.

"-Somewhere private-" James added, sending Sunny a lewd grin.

"-Somewhere where no one can here you scream…" Sirius added darkly, gaining puzzled stares from his company.

"Okay…that came out wrong…"

"As I was saying, let's go somewhere private…you know…to…work on our potions project…" Sunny finished, returning her gaze to Kevin.

"That reminds me…what ever happened to my partner…?" Peter questioned aloud.

"You ate it." James replied bluntly, shaking his head at how ridiculous it all sounded.

"-So you wanna go?"

"You say yes-I say yes-I say no-But I may mean no-You say stop-I can stay-And I say go, go, go-till it's time to go…" Kevin sang out, rising shakily from his seat.

"…That's the straightest answer you're gonna get. My advice is you take that and run with it." Sirius said after a while, stuffing his overflowing mouth with the remains of Peter's porridge.

"Great." Sunny said breathlessly, taking a vibrantly blushing Kevin by the arm and urging him out of the buzzing great hall.

James watched the pair flee the great hall with a dreamy grin plastered on his face as he turned to Sirius, Remus and Peter.

"Ah…look at those two…probably scurrying off to Remus' bed where they will-"

"-Why my bed?" Remus questioned, feeling perturbed as he dropped his fork into his empty plate.

"Anyway," James continued sighing and shaking any stray thoughts from his mind, "That's gonna be me and Evans one day."

"No, don't change the subject, why my bed?"

"You know," Sirius began, tossing his napkin to one side, rising up from his seat, "Maybe I should go after them…you know, to make sure they don't pop any springs out of Remus' mattress, you know he's got sensitive skin."

"Why my mattress?!" Remus demanded, throwing his fork down and demanding an answer.

"Lily," Lynn whispered breathlessly as she watched Kevin and Sunny leave the great hall.

"Lynn," Lily responded in a mock tone which was supposed to duplicate Lynn's overly excited one.

"Faye," Lynn said, turning to find someone that would share her excitement.

"Lynn," she responded bluntly, still glowering in Sirius' direction.

"…Cassidy-"

"Lynn, say what you've got to say and shut up." Faye stated frankly, not really in the mood to put up with Lynn's crap.

"I wanna see what's going on," Lynn said huffily, getting up from her seat, "I'll be back soon-"

"Take your time." Lily and Faye replied in unison, their attention solely on James Potter, who happened to be swaggering towards them with a cocky grin dazzling his face.

Lily attempted to ignore James Potter, as she always did, even though he always managed to break through her barriers and land him self with broken limb. Though Faye on the other hand had managed to shake herself out of her sulky mood and send James a beaming smirk.

"…Alright there Evans? Faye?" James squeaked uneasily, trying to keep a grin plastered on his face for the time being.

"Oh sod off/Top of the morning, my favoritest cousin…" Lily and Faye responded in unison, Lily determined to avoid his eyes and keep herself focused on Cassidy, who had know taken to shredding tablecloth, and Faye, who continued to bean up at James, speaking in such a silky voice you could tell she wanted something.

"Cousin?" Lily hissed into Faye's ear, questioning her address to James.

"Lil, most 'purebloods' are all related; why some of them are so inbred they can hardly walk straight…" Faye responded logically, causing Lily to cast a highly suspicious look over to Severus Snape who was proceeding to hobble his way out of the Great Hall at that instant.

"You…uh…care for a stroll by the-"

"I'm allergic to strolls." Lily snapped blandly, unconsciously coddling Cassidy closer to her body, despite the hissy protests.

"Well…what about a trip-" James tried again, refusing to give up that easily.

"Those give me hives." Lily replied indifferently.

"A walk-?"

"Those give her prostate cancer." Faye took the liberty of responding for Lily.

"Well that's it," James sighed heavily, throwing his arms up in the air exasperatedly, "There's no pleasing you; I'm not gonna stand here and get down on my bloody knees and beg you all morning to spend some quality time with me like we did last night!" James hollered bitterly, causing the constant banter of the Great Hall to cease and everybody to stare questioningly about the trio and exactly what they did last night.

"…Oops…"

"I can't believe their actually in the potions class. Does Kevin have no skill?" Sirius muttered to himself, feeling self shame for not having taught Kevin better as he peered into the murky stained glass of the potions dungeon, waiting for something interesting to happen though the only thing that seemed to be going on was a struggle over who gets the guitar first and earlier Kevin had insisted that he take tips on how to style his hair…

"Maybe he wasn't kidding…" Sirius pondered aloud, reminiscing on the previous events when Kevin had been doing the bump with him while he sang village people songs.

"Kidding about what?" Lynn questioned breathlessly, seemingly popping up out of nowhere, apparently not fully aware of whom she was speaking to.

"Well it was just a thought when I saw him using your boyfriend's makeup…" Sirius replied nonchalantly, then immediately swiveling his head around upon realization of who he was speaking to.

"Eep!" both Lynn and Sirius squealed, startled with the sight of each other.

"Midget!" Sirius hissed to her, trying to block the window.

"Scandalous Man Whore!" Lynn replied, attempting to sound pleasantly surprised but only succeeding in sounding like she was due to be sick any moment now.

"Er…What are you doing here…?" they both questioned the other suspiciously, Lynn trying to peer through the window as Sirius eyed her warily.

"I was just…" they both started to reply at the same time.

"Look, Lynn began, sighing heavily, "We're both mature people-well, I'm a mature person, you're a mature doggie, right?"

"Wrong," Sirius stated blandly, though Lynn was ignoring her.

"-And we both should cut this rivalry stuff out, right?"

"Wrong."

"So from now on you're gonna keep your head stuck contently up your arse and behave yourself, right?"

"Wrong,"

"Perfect," Lynn responded breathlessly, shoving Sirius aside as to get a good spot at the window.

"-Hey!" Sirius grunted, fighting for his own position at the peeping window, struggling for a content position, finally resulting in Lynn being pushed up in front of him as he rested his arms atop her head.

"Quiet, I can read lips!" Lynn hissed, struggling to get from under the weight of Sirius' heavily muscled arms.

"Then…why do I need to be quiet…? It looks like they're singing anyway…" Sirius mumbled, shifting more of his upper body weight on Lynn's mussed up head as he peered closer into the room. Both of their cauldrons were flung to the corner of a main desk, forgotten and the pair were cuddled close in the corner, as Sunny attempted to strap her guitar onto Kevin, o looked as if he was about to pass out at any given moment.

"That's what they want you to think…"

"Kevin doesn't think, so why would he want me to think-?"

"Quiet-There talking about-about Er…Flying by some yank with a pie…" Lynn noted, gazing intently through the window to Kevin who had now diminished enough of his nervousness to strum on the guitar and sing.

"…What?"

"Hush! Then…he says he drove a Chevy to the levy-"

"What's a levy-?"

"Doesn't matter-it was dry, and now I think he's talking about you guys…he says the good old boys drinking…whiskey and…rye…? By any chance have you said 'this will be the day that I die' lately?"

"…Didn't he say he wasn't going to get on his knees and beg…?" Peter inquired Remus, his breakfast clearly forgotten as he stared on at James' ridiculous display of groveling for Evans.

"Seems that she's just ignoring him…"

"It's cause she hates-"

"Everything that is the essence of James-"

"…I was gonna say his hair."

"Poor James…we have to help him…this is just pathetic…more pathetic then his Monday display…"

"Maybe Lily would like him if we gave him a makeover-You know, changed his hair around a bit…"

"Maybe his personality-"

"We'd change him into the perfect guy!"

"…Complete with perfect hair…"

"Well then," Remus started sincerely as he thrust his self up on his feet, "you know what we've gotta do, right?"

"…Hide our faces in books so we can pretend we don't know him as we shimmy our way out the Great Hall…?"

"…Well…Yes but…Let's go, we haven't got a moment to waste…"

"Great…let's go. It's time to reassemble the league."

"Lil, please, don't do this to me…" James moaned as he waddled about on the floor amidst all the ridicule and harsh cackling arising in the hall.

"Er…Jamie…cousin…buddy?" Faye called out meekly, tapping the crumpled heap that was James with her foot gingerly.

"What?" James asked, annoyed to be interrupted from his dramatic display.

"Lily left the Great Hall fifteen minutes ago; that's Cassidy's paw you're kissing, not her foot." Faye responded bluntly, motioning to the cat which had taken to spitting fire down in James' already singed hair.

"…No wonder…I thought she needed a shave…"

"If you really wanna get some alone time with Lily," Faye bent down close to him and spoke in hushed tones, "Do my transfiguration homework for a week-"

"Done."

"-A month-"

"Done."

"A year-"

"Done, damn you, tell me!" James demanded, shaking her roughly by the hem of her robes.

"…I think their planning on…living in a yellow submarine…Oh wait, Kevin already says he lives in a yellow submarine, now he just keeps repeating it…In fact, he says they all live in a yellow submarine."

"A yellow submarine?" Sirius inquired dully, taking time to rest his weary head atop of Lynn's head, which was turning out to be a rather good table.

"A yellow submarine…" Lynn confirmed, nodding her head.

"…Lynn…?" an high pitched voice called from behind, startling both Lynn and Sirius who immediately jumped up, swiveled around on their heels, and stared back at the person like deer caught in the headlights.

"We weren't doing anything!" They both confessed guiltily, throwing their arms up in the air.

"Er…Lynn? You and…Black?" Lily questioned yet again, questioning their previous overly cozy position at the window, Sirius being all over Lynn…

"Lily!" Lynn shouted, scandalized at the sudden acquisition.

"Lynn," Lily replied, looking a tad bit ill…

"Evans!" Sirius replied, laughing at the ludicrousness of the mere idea of him and Lynn ever…it was just to ridiculous to think about.

"Black,"

"…Wait, wait, wait…Why does this happen every time I'm around?!" Sirius hollered fiercely, gaining the attention of the couple in the room, who got to their feet and curiously stuck his head out the door.

The five just stood there, frozen in their positions for the moment, staring shiftily at each other, basking in the uncomfortable silence.

"Er…hello…I'll just be…" Sirius stuttered, yanking Kevin by the arm, nudging Lily out of his way and dashing up the nearest flight of stairs with his protesting comrade still in the midst of singing old Beatles songs.

"Something in way she moves…Attracts me like no other lover…Something in the way she woos me… don't want to leave her now…"  Kevin continued to moan on dreamily, despite the rough way Sirius was dragging him up the stairs to the boys' dormitories.

"Kevin…please…don't speak…I don't understand a word you're saying…" Sirius muttered for the umpteenth time through gritted teeth as he threw open the front door, and threw Kevin into the room, startling both Peter and Remus.

"Sirius, what happened-" Remus questioned breathlessly, his expression radiating his anxiousness.

"Kevin told her we lived on a yellow submarine!" Sirius exclaimed, clearly ticked off.

"…A yellow submarine…?"

"A yellow submarine!" Sirius confirmed, throwing up his arms disgusted at Kevin's uselessness.

"Well…no bother then…" Remus said dismissively, waving off the whole Kevin situation as f it were no big deal, earning a deranged and irritated grunting noise from Sirius' direction.

"No big-no big deal?! This means-we're-stuck-with-James!" Sirius announced bitterly, shaking delicate Remus by his front robes though he went unabashed by the whole roughing up.

"…Not with this James…" Peter muttered, a smirk lightening his face.

"What are you going on about…?" Sirius inquired, lost and in the dark.

"We'll have the new, improved James…"

"…Thanks to…the league…"

"League? What league?"

"Elvis," Remus named, ticking off one finger.

"It's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane…" Sirius mumbled, clearly not impressed at what the rock star had to offer.

"Bambi," Peter named another member of this league of theirs.

"James' already has that part down…" Sirius muttered.

"Wally Cleaver," Remus responded yet again, apparently going down a list.

"The dork with the hair…?"

"No, the one with the best friend like you." Remus responded offhandedly.

"Brad Majors," Peters said, getting excited at the mention of his favorite musical (Even though he had no clue the main 'villain' was really a man)

"John Travolta,"

"Ebenezer Scrooge," Peter spoke up yet again, earning odd looks from the other three in the room, and then explaining meekly, "Girls like money."

"Ricky from I Love Lucy," Remus continued, ignoring Peter.

"…The babaloo guy? Oh no, his hair's so greasy we'd be able to auction James off to the house-elves so they could fry eggs on him…"

"Benji the Dog!"

"That mutt's got nothing on me…" Sirius announced, crossing his arms smugly across his chest.

"Kojak,"

"-You're beautiful baby…" Peter said, doing his best impression of Kojak, which wasn't very good at all, but if you gave him a sucker it may have passed as decent…

"And Jeanie, form I Dream of Jeanie…" Remus finished proudly, "We give you…"

"The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen." Peter completed Remus' sentence before adding an afterthought, "Yes, we know Jeanie isn't really a gentlemen but…who cares…"

AN- …Don't look at me that way…you had to know this was coming…You didn't? Really? Hmm…I did…Anyway…maybe I'll update before next year, I'm on a binge writing spree and I don't know who I'll hit! REVIEW! Merci mes amis!