Disclaimer: I do not own HarryPotter and co. They belong to JKR. I only own the plot and the funny sauce, cause I don't know what it is. That's all. No Slashes.
'Ron, what-' Hermione asked.
'Shhh...!' I'm trying to concentrate.' snapped Ron.
'And what's the point may I ask you of-' Hermione asked again. Harry sniggered.
'HERMIONE! Shut up!' Ron screamed. Hermione looked slightly abashed and started mumbling to herself. Harry sniggered again.
The trio were in the Gryffindor common room. Ron was trying to whack his golf ball into a hole in the floor which was about two inches away from the ball. He swung the his cleansweep with all his might and the ball flew across the room and through the window.
'Oops, too hard.' said Ron as he climbed out and flew down to retrive his ball. Harry sniggered again.
'Shut up Harry.' said Hermione. Suddenly, the fire place started burning. Green flame burned as a tall person appeared. 'Ahhh! You-know-who! He who must not be named did great things. Terrible but great.' yelled Neville who turned white and fainted.
'Errr... Herm-own-ninny.' said the tall person. It was Krum. He stepped out onto the hearthrug as the fire died away. Harry sniggered. Hermione grabbed her transfiguration book and whacked Harry on his head.
'Ouch! What's that for?' he asked.
'Herm-own-ninny, I need to ask you something.' said Krum.
'Yes?' asked Hermione.
'Do you errr... Do you want to come over to my house this summer?' said Krum quickly. His face turned red. Hermione opened her mouth to answer but Krum interrupted.
'I knew it! Don't bother to tell me! I'm such a loser! Ohh... the sorrow! May the purple cows fill my books this winter!' He yelled as he grabbed a certain bag out from his robes and dumped green powder that looked like CuCO3 out of it and climbed into the fire place.
'The lake with the giant squid ohhhaaaahhhhaaaiiiieeee!' He screamed as he disappeared. Hermione stared as the flames died again with her mouth hanging open.
'Bloody gone! I lost it.' said Ron climbing back through the window panting heavily. Harry sniggered again. Hermione randomly grabbed Trevor on the floor and tossed it at Harry.
Ron fell onto the armchair which had been occupied by Neville before Krum appeared. 'Gone... gone...'
'The raindrops falling on my head. We'll stand together in the lion's jaw... The plant is growing on my head. I'll stand in my mother's mouth...' Harry started singing.
'Shut up. Hey, I'm going back to bed. You guys better finish your Transfiguration homework, you don't want another detention-' said Hermione.
'Right.' said Harry. Hermione left. Suddenly the potrait door opened again. Colin and Dean walked in with a whole mass of people, about twenty of them all whom dressed muggily(like muggles).
'Oh, hi there.' said Dean. Colin grabbed his camera together with many other people and started snapping pictures at the both of them.
'Who are these people?' Harry asked still looking shocked.
'Oh, some tourist, you'd never know how much I can earn from this. I'm giving them a tour of our school. They are simply - amazed. Muggles if you'd like to know.' said Dean proudly.
On the other side, Ron started arranging his hair and robes neatly. He smiled at the crowd, cleared his throat and started introducing himself.
'My name is Ronald Weasley. I am err... a certain number years old. But I can't seem to remember. I am from Gryffindor. I love chocolate frogs. I have a pet owl called Pig, it's actually...'
Suddenly a loud siren sounded through the air.
'Ahhh! Alert! Teachers coming! Everyone quick! Run away!' shouted Dean waving his hands wildly at the panicking mob. There was a scramble to climb through the hole.
'What we do now? I haven't finish my intro.' said Ron clutching his hair desprately. Everyone else was fighting to climb through the hole. After about half an hour of chaos and everyone being kicked, punched, and pushed many times the crowd finally managed to climb back through.
'Owww...' moaned Harry holding his bloody nose.
'Ahhh... They pulled my hair!' cried Ron covering his head with both hands. They heard Dean's voice shouting from outside.
'Sorry everyone, false alarm. Thought Umbridge(though she's gone) might come and check. Ok, who wants to see the dangeon next? Then we'll move to the headmaster's office. Oh ,and did I mention the Slytherin's common room...'
'What's all that racket?' said Seamus rubbing his eyes and walking down the stairs, 'I heard Dean's voice.'
'Nothing.' said Harry walking past Seamus with Ron following him.
'I love the durian's accent!' Seamus called after them as they closed the door.
'Durians talk?' asked Ron, 'I'm so sleepy I'm gonna sleep.'
The next morning, they sat in the great hall for breakfast. Ron took his goblet and scooped some chocolated flavoured marshmallow sauce from a large bowl on table where they dipped their food into. He took a large gulp(which was the whole goblet), gurgled and spat it back into the large bowl. Harry looked disgusted. Neville turned white and fainted again. Hermione looked shocked. Wood (though he graduated a long time ago) however dipped his mouldy looking bread into it and continued eating, oblivious to what Ron had done.
'Ron, what are you doing?' asked Hermione.
'Cleaning mouth that's what I'm doing. Isn't that obvious?' He replied.
'You forgot the peppermint leaf.' said Hermione.
'Oh.' Ron scooped the sauce again, this time adding peppermint leaf. He gurgled and spitted it into Ginny's face.
'Look! The mail's here' said Fred (he graduated too) pointing. Owls were swooping up and down, around the great hall looking for their owners to deliver their mails. A small owl swooped down and dropped a small brown package onto Ron's plate.
'What's this?' Ron asked holding the package up high so that Harry could see, 'Who sent it? There's no name. Wicked Harry, maybe Dumbledore sent it to me, it must be an invisibility cloak! Thank you Dumbledore! I'd always wanted one.'
'Don't be stupid Ron, it's too small to be one. Besides, the cloak would be soft.' said Hermione smiling. Just then, another snowy owl flew down and dropped a similar package onto Harry's head.
'What? I have one too?' exclaimed Harry.
'Blimey. Who'd - wait. I think I know who sent it.' said Ron casting the evil eye at Hermione.
'Who?' asked Hermione, her smile getting wider.
'You really want to know?' asked Ron looking happier and more evil than ever.
'Yes.' said Hermione, her smile too was getting evil.
'Really?' Ron grinned even wider.
'Really.' said Hermione still smiling.
'Really? You sure?' Ron grinned until his lips were in danger of splitting(Grinch not Grint).
'Yeah, really.' said Hermione who stopped grinning because she got too tired to do so.
'Cut it out, you two.' said Harry starting to feel annoyed. Hermione smiled again because everything rushed to her mouth and she suddenly had energy to smile and she felt like doing so.
'Ok, you-know-who sent it. Just joking. Harry, remember the year you received your firebolt? You - I mean I thought Dumbledore sent it? But it turned out to be Sirius.' said Ron. Hermione's smile disappeared again.
'Yeah, so?' sasked Harry.
'So I figured out Sirius must have sent us more Firebolts.' said Ron looking happy at his brilliance.
'Ron, this doesn't look like broomsticks at all. It's not one bit like a broomstick. It's too small and it don't even shape-' Ginny said wisely.
'How do you know? You'll see.' Ron cut in as he began ripping the package open. It turned out to be a book. Ron's face fell and turned red.
'See.' said George smiling at Ron. Ginny smiled plesantly.
'Ok. Fine, it's not a firebolt, still I bet you everything Sirius secretly sent it. Actually, I knew it wasn't a firebolt, he wouldn't have the money to-' started Ron.
'Sirius is dead. Ron.' said Harry not knowing what made him do it.
'Oh. Then, I wonder who did it?' said Hermione sarcasticly.
'Let me guess, Harry, did you send it?' asked Ron. Hermione glared at Ron. Harry ripped open his package. The book turned out to be a-
'Homework Diary?' said Harry looking disgusted.
'Got that right. Ten points for Harry.' said Hermione looking as if her birthday had came early.
'Not counted. But that doesn't tell us who sent it.' whined Ron.
'Hermione sent it.' said Ginny nodding her head wisely. Hermione blushed.
'How'd you know. Hermione, did you send this?' asked Ron. Hermione nodded blushing even more.
'But - again? I thought last year you gave us these too. And it was for Christmas. What's the special occasion?' asked Harry.
'Oh, you don't have to have a special occasion to give something to someone.' said Ginny wisely.
'Oh, no, it's for Christmas, and it's this year.' said Hermione her face reddening even more.
'But Christmas is ages away.' said Charlie(who graduated evem before Harry entered Hogwarts).
'Happy early Christmas.' said Hermione.
'And do you have to send it through post? Can't you just give it to us?' asked Ron.
'Oh it's more surprising this way.' said Hermione as she blushed and walked away.
PS. Ron and Hermione are not evil.
'Ron, what-' Hermione asked.
'Shhh...!' I'm trying to concentrate.' snapped Ron.
'And what's the point may I ask you of-' Hermione asked again. Harry sniggered.
'HERMIONE! Shut up!' Ron screamed. Hermione looked slightly abashed and started mumbling to herself. Harry sniggered again.
The trio were in the Gryffindor common room. Ron was trying to whack his golf ball into a hole in the floor which was about two inches away from the ball. He swung the his cleansweep with all his might and the ball flew across the room and through the window.
'Oops, too hard.' said Ron as he climbed out and flew down to retrive his ball. Harry sniggered again.
'Shut up Harry.' said Hermione. Suddenly, the fire place started burning. Green flame burned as a tall person appeared. 'Ahhh! You-know-who! He who must not be named did great things. Terrible but great.' yelled Neville who turned white and fainted.
'Errr... Herm-own-ninny.' said the tall person. It was Krum. He stepped out onto the hearthrug as the fire died away. Harry sniggered. Hermione grabbed her transfiguration book and whacked Harry on his head.
'Ouch! What's that for?' he asked.
'Herm-own-ninny, I need to ask you something.' said Krum.
'Yes?' asked Hermione.
'Do you errr... Do you want to come over to my house this summer?' said Krum quickly. His face turned red. Hermione opened her mouth to answer but Krum interrupted.
'I knew it! Don't bother to tell me! I'm such a loser! Ohh... the sorrow! May the purple cows fill my books this winter!' He yelled as he grabbed a certain bag out from his robes and dumped green powder that looked like CuCO3 out of it and climbed into the fire place.
'The lake with the giant squid ohhhaaaahhhhaaaiiiieeee!' He screamed as he disappeared. Hermione stared as the flames died again with her mouth hanging open.
'Bloody gone! I lost it.' said Ron climbing back through the window panting heavily. Harry sniggered again. Hermione randomly grabbed Trevor on the floor and tossed it at Harry.
Ron fell onto the armchair which had been occupied by Neville before Krum appeared. 'Gone... gone...'
'The raindrops falling on my head. We'll stand together in the lion's jaw... The plant is growing on my head. I'll stand in my mother's mouth...' Harry started singing.
'Shut up. Hey, I'm going back to bed. You guys better finish your Transfiguration homework, you don't want another detention-' said Hermione.
'Right.' said Harry. Hermione left. Suddenly the potrait door opened again. Colin and Dean walked in with a whole mass of people, about twenty of them all whom dressed muggily(like muggles).
'Oh, hi there.' said Dean. Colin grabbed his camera together with many other people and started snapping pictures at the both of them.
'Who are these people?' Harry asked still looking shocked.
'Oh, some tourist, you'd never know how much I can earn from this. I'm giving them a tour of our school. They are simply - amazed. Muggles if you'd like to know.' said Dean proudly.
On the other side, Ron started arranging his hair and robes neatly. He smiled at the crowd, cleared his throat and started introducing himself.
'My name is Ronald Weasley. I am err... a certain number years old. But I can't seem to remember. I am from Gryffindor. I love chocolate frogs. I have a pet owl called Pig, it's actually...'
Suddenly a loud siren sounded through the air.
'Ahhh! Alert! Teachers coming! Everyone quick! Run away!' shouted Dean waving his hands wildly at the panicking mob. There was a scramble to climb through the hole.
'What we do now? I haven't finish my intro.' said Ron clutching his hair desprately. Everyone else was fighting to climb through the hole. After about half an hour of chaos and everyone being kicked, punched, and pushed many times the crowd finally managed to climb back through.
'Owww...' moaned Harry holding his bloody nose.
'Ahhh... They pulled my hair!' cried Ron covering his head with both hands. They heard Dean's voice shouting from outside.
'Sorry everyone, false alarm. Thought Umbridge(though she's gone) might come and check. Ok, who wants to see the dangeon next? Then we'll move to the headmaster's office. Oh ,and did I mention the Slytherin's common room...'
'What's all that racket?' said Seamus rubbing his eyes and walking down the stairs, 'I heard Dean's voice.'
'Nothing.' said Harry walking past Seamus with Ron following him.
'I love the durian's accent!' Seamus called after them as they closed the door.
'Durians talk?' asked Ron, 'I'm so sleepy I'm gonna sleep.'
The next morning, they sat in the great hall for breakfast. Ron took his goblet and scooped some chocolated flavoured marshmallow sauce from a large bowl on table where they dipped their food into. He took a large gulp(which was the whole goblet), gurgled and spat it back into the large bowl. Harry looked disgusted. Neville turned white and fainted again. Hermione looked shocked. Wood (though he graduated a long time ago) however dipped his mouldy looking bread into it and continued eating, oblivious to what Ron had done.
'Ron, what are you doing?' asked Hermione.
'Cleaning mouth that's what I'm doing. Isn't that obvious?' He replied.
'You forgot the peppermint leaf.' said Hermione.
'Oh.' Ron scooped the sauce again, this time adding peppermint leaf. He gurgled and spitted it into Ginny's face.
'Look! The mail's here' said Fred (he graduated too) pointing. Owls were swooping up and down, around the great hall looking for their owners to deliver their mails. A small owl swooped down and dropped a small brown package onto Ron's plate.
'What's this?' Ron asked holding the package up high so that Harry could see, 'Who sent it? There's no name. Wicked Harry, maybe Dumbledore sent it to me, it must be an invisibility cloak! Thank you Dumbledore! I'd always wanted one.'
'Don't be stupid Ron, it's too small to be one. Besides, the cloak would be soft.' said Hermione smiling. Just then, another snowy owl flew down and dropped a similar package onto Harry's head.
'What? I have one too?' exclaimed Harry.
'Blimey. Who'd - wait. I think I know who sent it.' said Ron casting the evil eye at Hermione.
'Who?' asked Hermione, her smile getting wider.
'You really want to know?' asked Ron looking happier and more evil than ever.
'Yes.' said Hermione, her smile too was getting evil.
'Really?' Ron grinned even wider.
'Really.' said Hermione still smiling.
'Really? You sure?' Ron grinned until his lips were in danger of splitting(Grinch not Grint).
'Yeah, really.' said Hermione who stopped grinning because she got too tired to do so.
'Cut it out, you two.' said Harry starting to feel annoyed. Hermione smiled again because everything rushed to her mouth and she suddenly had energy to smile and she felt like doing so.
'Ok, you-know-who sent it. Just joking. Harry, remember the year you received your firebolt? You - I mean I thought Dumbledore sent it? But it turned out to be Sirius.' said Ron. Hermione's smile disappeared again.
'Yeah, so?' sasked Harry.
'So I figured out Sirius must have sent us more Firebolts.' said Ron looking happy at his brilliance.
'Ron, this doesn't look like broomsticks at all. It's not one bit like a broomstick. It's too small and it don't even shape-' Ginny said wisely.
'How do you know? You'll see.' Ron cut in as he began ripping the package open. It turned out to be a book. Ron's face fell and turned red.
'See.' said George smiling at Ron. Ginny smiled plesantly.
'Ok. Fine, it's not a firebolt, still I bet you everything Sirius secretly sent it. Actually, I knew it wasn't a firebolt, he wouldn't have the money to-' started Ron.
'Sirius is dead. Ron.' said Harry not knowing what made him do it.
'Oh. Then, I wonder who did it?' said Hermione sarcasticly.
'Let me guess, Harry, did you send it?' asked Ron. Hermione glared at Ron. Harry ripped open his package. The book turned out to be a-
'Homework Diary?' said Harry looking disgusted.
'Got that right. Ten points for Harry.' said Hermione looking as if her birthday had came early.
'Not counted. But that doesn't tell us who sent it.' whined Ron.
'Hermione sent it.' said Ginny nodding her head wisely. Hermione blushed.
'How'd you know. Hermione, did you send this?' asked Ron. Hermione nodded blushing even more.
'But - again? I thought last year you gave us these too. And it was for Christmas. What's the special occasion?' asked Harry.
'Oh, you don't have to have a special occasion to give something to someone.' said Ginny wisely.
'Oh, no, it's for Christmas, and it's this year.' said Hermione her face reddening even more.
'But Christmas is ages away.' said Charlie(who graduated evem before Harry entered Hogwarts).
'Happy early Christmas.' said Hermione.
'And do you have to send it through post? Can't you just give it to us?' asked Ron.
'Oh it's more surprising this way.' said Hermione as she blushed and walked away.
PS. Ron and Hermione are not evil.