"P" stands for Prue, Piper, Phoebe, and Plain weird
Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed, and all that load of crap. In other words, I don't want to get sued, and yeah, that should cover it.
Note: As most of you know, I'm not one to write humorous stories… I'll pick up on those angsty, dramatic, tragic stuff later, when my mind's not as worn out. In the mean time, I miss writing, and I'm just going to write these pointless, weird fics to relax my brain until I'm back in the "angsty" mode. Oh yeah, the only reason Prue's in this one is because I don't know… this seems to work better with Prue here. I love Paige and all, but for the sake of the story, I think Prue's more suitable. Enjoy.
Chapter 1: Breakfast for One
-Kitchen, Manor-
"Okay… let's make an omelet," Prue suggested, shoving Phoebe into the kitchen, which is also known as Piper's own personal domain.
"Do you even know how to make one?" Phoebe retorted, apparently still peeved at being waken up so early in the morning.
"Well, it shouldn't be that hard, right? Piper makes them all the time," Prue commented. "And besides, it's kind of weird if we just go right up to her and say 'oh, happy birthday, Piper, we're trying to surprise you with breakfast, but we don't know how to make one'".
Yawn. "Good point," Phoebe muttered, still sleepy.
"Great. You go get the ingredients," Prue commanded.
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Stuff!"
Phoebe rolled her eyes and disbelief, and stormed over to the fridge. Absent-mindedly, she began to dump stuff onto the counter.
Meanwhile, Prue was trying to get the stove to work. But we all know that machinery can be stubborn at times. "What the hell?!?" Prue swore angrily, before poking the metal stuff with a spatula. FOOOOM! A huge blast of gas and flame shot up into the sky, nearly frying Prue's hair.
"AHHHHH!!!!"
"Heehee…" Phoebe snickered.
"Don't laugh," Prue threatened dangerously, before dumping some ham, onions, pepper, butter, and other stuff into the pan.
"Don't forget to add the cheese," Phoebe reminded her sister.
"I knew that," Prue snapped, as she threw the cheese into the pan.
Five minutes later, Prue and Phoebe stared in disgust at the sticky mixture in front of their eyes.
"Something doesn't look right…" Prue commented wisely.
"Yeah… it appears as if something's missing…" Phoebe replied.
"Whatever. We still got toast to make," Prue said, while turning the heat down, "and sausages to cook."
"Okay, Phoebs, you take care of the toast. Me, I'll do the sausages," Prue ordered.
"Yes, your royal highness," Phoebe muttered sarcastically.
"Do as I say, slave," Prue retorted effortlessly. "And while you're at that, don't forget to clean my shoes, do my laundry, take out the garbage…"
"I was kidding, your majesty," Phoebe said.
"Rats."
For a while, all was quiet as each Halliwell sister focused on their respective tasks… however, that moment of silence was soon disrupted by a loud curse from the stove.
"Shit. I burned the sausages..."
"Crap! The toast is toasted."
"How the hell do you burn toast, you stupid little…"
"Well, it doesn't take a genius to make sausages!"
"Whatever. Let's just go to 7-11 and get something," Prue suggested.
"Why didn't we think of that before?" Phoebe wondered.
"That's because you're stupid."
"I said we, not me," Phoebe shot back.
"Whatever."
-7-11-
"Um, hello!" Prue snapped at the stupid cashier who was staring straight ahead, eyes unmoving, and jaws dropping. "Hey! I'm trying to pay for something here," Prue shouted in his face. "Dammit, you asshole, get going!"
Pissed off by the stupid cashier's stupidity, Prue decided that she can't waste anymore time with this, so she dumped the money on the counter and whirled around to leave. That's when she caught sight of Phoebe, and immediately understood why the cashier stood their dumbfounded. Her little sister was dressed in nothing but a bathrobe…
"Phoebe Halliwell!!!" Prue screamed with rage, "What the hell are you doing?"
"What?" Phoebe asked sleepily while stifling a yawn.
"I told you not to sleep naked!"
"It's comfy."
"You are aware that this pervert is staring at your chest," Prue snapped, suddenly protective of her sister. She didn't want any stupid sick perverts thinking unclean thoughts of her sister.
"That's it, we're out of here."
"FREEZE!" A voice bellowed out.
Prue whirled around to see a cop with a gun pointed at her and Phoebe.
"You are arrested for promoting sex in a public area in front of a youth," the police man shouted, and handcuffed both Phoebe and Prue, despite their protests.
-San Francisco Police Department-
Half an hour later, a peeved detective led the two Halliwell sisters out, shaking his head in frustration.
"Thanks Darryl. We owe you one!" Phoebe hollered sweetly.
"God help me," the poor man muttered.
-Manor-
Prue and Phoebe gathered their muffins, juice, and "omelet" and placed the food items on the best dishes they have. Quietly, the tiptoed up the stairs to Piper's room.
"SURPRISE!" The two of them shouted, startling the already freaked out middle sister. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
"Wow, guys… thanks," Piper stammered brightly, pleased that her sister actually worked together to do something.
"We made you breakfast!" Phoebe sang out, holding the tray in front of Piper.
That was when Piper's smile disappeared from her face. Forcefully, she muttered a "thanks", and reached for the muffin, before Prue stopped her.
"Here, try my omelet!"
"Um…" Piper began, "That's an omelet? Where's the egg?"
There was a moment of silence.
"I told you it didn't look right!" Phoebe shouted triumphantly.
"So, you burned the toast."
"Well, you killed the sausage."
"Well, you got us arrested."
"So…"
"Okay, I'll eat," Piper said in defeat, hoping to stop the bickering. Hesitantly, she popped a mouthful of omelet into her mouth. "Excuse me," she said after a beat, and headed off to the bathroom.