By: Ami
Beta Reader: kitsune-oni
ERO-BOUZU Chapter 2 of 3 – The Chaos…Oops… a day late… ^^;;
Greetings for the kind reviewers:
To: Yuki the Rat
Yay~! Thanks! ^^ Can you… err… tell me… why do you use such a pen name? ^^;
To: Keitorin
Thanks~! You're writing Inuyasha fics, ne? Send my greetings to the dear darling gorgeous Sesshoumaru-sama~! Nya ha! I just love Inuyasha~! But hey… how could you ended up in a YAOI land like Saiyuki? O.o I thought there's no yaoi in Inuyasha (cause there's already a cute Kagome there! ^w^)
To: AOM
Meanie~! QQ I'm not torturing them! Really! I always get them together! See? *innocent plastered face* I'll write till my stories reach 93 (Yay! GokuxSanzou is my lifeline! XD)! Thanks for supporting me! I love your humor! It keeps me smiling. ^_^
To: gallatica
Nya ha! Hentai minds think alike! XD Thankie! Surely, I'll drag them into a hotel room and tell readers what happen there—after I can be as good as you in writing yaoi! *glomp* ^w^
To: hanae_da_firefly
Yo gal! You rockz! XD
To: Mag Magenta
Go! Go! Magenta-san! I know you can produce more good fics! Love you for being a loyal reader (and reviewer)! *glomp* Please write more Romance/Humor fics, onegai? Light my day!
To: M_Li
Banzai for M_li-sama and her cute comment too! ^w^ *glomp*
To: Seiko-chan
Don't get fooled with Yaone's cute and innocent face. She has something under her sleeves you know. XD (Wait till chapter 3 – is it a trailer? ^^;;)
To: maboroshi16
Cool name you have! ^w^ but wait… O.o if I just killed you… then it means that… OH NOOOOOO~!!!!! The police will come to arrest me soon!!!!! QQ Please spare me~! I'm too young to be in the prison!!!!!
To: Anael Razualle
*gets blinded with Anael-san's cute little black cat's golden eyes* *wears sunglasses* yay~! Here I continue for you! And here is a massage from Sanzou-sama *shivers*
SANZOU : THE SARU IS MINEEEEE!!!!! # # # # # # *BANG* *BANG* *BANG*
DISCLAIMER : You know Saiyuki is Minekura Kazuya-sensei's. Suing innocents is a sin.
Here we go…
One PEACEFUL day, the birds were chirping and the clouds were floating gracefully in the blue blue sky. The wind blew the falling leaves, the sun shone brightly, and the air was cold yet comfortable.
If you looked at the picture more carefully, you'd notice a jeep was passing the perfect, peaceful autumn scene. And if you took a closer look, you'd see four hot bishounen in the jeep.
In the front left seat you would see a gorgeous blonde. A shade of red was creeping over his pale cheeks and ears. His head was bowed down; he didn't seem that interested in the beautiful scene around him. In the driver's seat, you'd notice a handsome brunette. He was grinning uncharacteristically. Noticing the death glare from a certain not-so-holy monk beside him, the brunette smartly bit his bottom lip to prevent himself from laughing out loud. In the left back seat, you'd see a VERY RED chocolate-haired boy. His hands were silently trying to straighten his rumpled clothes while he repeatedly sent dark glances to a certain redheaded kappa that just wouldn't stop laughing at them. And if you're eager to know, the phrase 'them' refers to a cute golden-eyed brunette a.k.a Son Goku and his beautiful lavender-eyed lover a.k.a Genjo Sanzou-SAMA.
"Hey, bouzu." Gojyo wrapped his arms around Hakkai's seat and leaned closer to the blonde. "You were GREAT."
*BANG*
A bullet missed the scarred face by one millimeter.
"I dare you to repeat that." A dark version of Sanzou pressed the muzzle of his gun on Gojyo's forehead.
"You win." Gojyo threw his body back on to his seat, grinning mischievously at a certain monkey beside him.
Goku frowned. Though Sanzou had shown his authority among them, he knew that Gojyo had actually won. Ah damn! He hadn't expected it to turn out this way! The potion was way too good! Gee! Yaone-nee-chan was definitely the BEST chemist in the WHOLE world of Saiyuki!
To make the situation clearer, let's do a short flashback! Here it is~!
FLASHBACK
Sanzou, not noticing the 'curious' crowd around him, eagerly pushed the smaller boy on to the table and started kissing him again. His hands roamed his pet's body freely; enjoying every moan that escaped from Goku's lips.
The oh-so-helpful Hakkai soon felt the sudden increase of temperature around them. Modestly taking the risk, he carefully walked beside Sanzou and said, "Ano… Sanzou… it's not that I'm trying to disturb you… but it's public place and err… I can book a room for you two to… umm… finish your business and…"
Unfortunately he failed. Sanzou didn't even seem to recognize his presence.
Now everybody had stopped eating breakfast and had turned to look at them.
Gojyo sunk down to his knees. Not in his entire life had he ever felt this kind of humiliation. Now if there were a deep hole nearby, he'd LOVE to jump in and never come out again. So he turned his head to his precious Hakkai for a suggestion only to find his oh-so-gentle-and-smart Hakkai busy scribbling something on the table with a breath-taking happy smile on his handsome face.
"Hakkai!" Gojyo shrieked helplessly, "How could you write at a time like this! Come on and help me to drag the two inside a room!"
And the various fan girls started throwing various dining furniture at the poor kappa.
"Oh hell…" Gojyo placed a steel shield over his body. "Hakkai! Come on!"
And his oh-so-understanding Hakkai still ignored him. With a cheerful expression, he continued writing while humming a beautiful 'Alone' tune.
Shaking with both impatience and confusion, Gojyo finally snapped and grabbed the paper from Hakkai. "HAKKAI! COME ON!!!! It's not time to—"
Uh oh.
Don't tell me we've never warned you…
A dark version of Hakkai stood up with a steaming head and veins on his beautiful face.
Never EVER provoke the peacemaker in Sanzou-ikkou… the former Marshal in Tenkai, the gentlest and kindest gentleman in Saiyuki named Cho Hakkai, if you still want to see tomorrow's daylight.
And with his infamous smile, Hakkai pulled Gojyo up by the collar.
"How could you treat me so harshly—G.O.J.Y.O.-.S.A.N… # # # # #," he spoke oh-so-gently.
Gojyo started trembling and his eyes became teary. He had never felt SO helpless in all of his kappa reputation. And by the next second, he had collapsed in to the brunette's arms.
FLASHBACK – END
"Ha ha ha ha… it was such a wonderful experience, ne Sanzou?" The brunette on the front seat laughed cheerfully. "How did it feel to make it out in front of all of the citizens in the town?"
"U.R.U.S.A.I!" Sanzou gritted his teeth in both embarrassment and anger.
"Ah! And anyway! Look at this!" Hakkai slipped one hand inside his bag and pulled out a piece of paper. "I have scribbled the preparations of your party! I have also booked the finest restaurant in the next town by phone! Now you just have to choose the guests."
Gojyo sweat dropped and face faulted.
He just couldn't accept the truth that his gentle lover had beaten the crap out of him for a bloody party.
"Is your personality getting worse?" Sanzou glared at the brunette.
"Ah, do you really think so? But I think something like that is worth celebrating." Hakkai plastered on an innocent face.
"Hakkai~!" Goku groaned. Really! He had wanted Sanzou to become more perverted and more vulgar in expressing his love but making out in front of the public was totally humiliating! //Yaone-nee-chan… the potion was TOO STRONG… //
"But I really can't understand, bouzu… what on earth possessed you at the time?" Gojyo mumbled, "Lately you're acting really strange."
"Don't ask me." Sanzou put a hand up to cover his slightly red face. "Lately I DO feel strange."
Goku silently started to pray, hoping that nobody would realize Sanzou had started acting strangely after drinking the potion he had given him yesterday.
"Aa!" Hakkai suddenly gasped. "Maybe I have found the cause!"
//Oh nooooooooo~!!!!! QQ Hakkai figured it out!!!!!!!!//
"Maybe…" Hakkai looked at Sanzou with serious expression. "It's… because… you've been lacking sex!"
Sanzou twitched.
Gojyo grinned and giggled.
Goku face-faulted. Perhaps his smart Hakkai wasn't THAT smart after all.
"I have never heard of a thing like this. Just like Goku; he hadn't eaten anything for 500 years inside his prison, that's why he is always hungry now. And the same thing happened to you. You haven't done anything these past 6 months, so your lack of sex makes you horny all the time."
"Aha! That's logic!" Gojyo muttered. "But why did you say in these past 6 months? We started the journey 6 months ago, right? Is something connected to that?"
"Because I'm sure that when Sanzou and Goku were at the temple, they had sex everyday! ^_^"
And this time Gojyo really laughed his head off. Oh! How we love Hakkai! Who else could say something like that so straight and matter-of-factly? Hakkai smartly stopped his choked laughter as a thin wisp of smoke began to rise out of Sanzou's ears. Oops… Genjo Sanzou-SAMA had really snapped now…
"UUUUUUUUUUURUUUUUUUUUUUSAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG*
***
Sanzou held his head with a sigh. Looking at his own gorgeous face in the mirror (though I don't think Sanzou would look at himself in the mirror and say: Oh Gods, I'm SO drop-dead-gorgeous! XP), he tried to see if something was wrong. Yes. Lately everything was just TOO wrong. Oh damn! If his aunt ever found out about this, she'd surely annoy him to death!
"Hiya~ Kon-zen-darling~!"
Sanzou groaned. Here she was.
With a statue of liberty pose, the almighty Kanzeon Bosatsu-sama held up a photo she had bought from one of you who managed to snap the historical moment. XP (For those who chose to take them, banzai! And don't let Sanzou catch you later!)
Sanzou blushed deeply at the photo and soon snapped with anger, "What the FUCK do you want?"
"Aww… don't give me that intimidating stare, Konzen-darling… I'm scared…" Kanzeon smirked. "Or do you want me to send this photo to the magazine-agencies and let them spread this? Or shall I put this on the Tenkai Wall-Magazine and let all the Gods look at this?"
Sanzou HAD snapped really badly.
"You… BITCH!!" he growled.
"Oh! That was rude!" Kanzeon Bosatsu laughed her infamous victory laughter. "Hehehe… with this photo… you can no longer yell at me KONZEN-SAMA~"
Sanzou bowed his head down and cursed again. "Fine. What do you want now?"
Kanzeon Bosatsu smirked oh-so-evilly before pulling out a notebook and handing it to Sanzou. "Here." She grinned. "And now… listen to my instruction…"
***
Goku lay down on his bed. Looking up at the ceiling blankly, he began to recall the earlier incident; his cheeks automatically reddened at the memories.
//Ah… Sanzou…// Goku swooned. //He is so beautiful… the potion isn't that bad after all… maybe I should ask for some more when we meet the Kougaiji-ikkou again…//
With that thought, he curled up and slept in peace, without even dreaming that tomorrow everything would be MUCH more interesting…
***
SANZOU'S ROOM
"NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO *DEFINITELY* NOT! # # # # # # # # #"
"You've got no choice, Kon~zen~babe… *waving the photo in front of Sanzou's nose* Follow the rules… or be humiliated…"
"Grrrr… FINE! But just for one day! Then you MUST give me that photo!"
"Ohohohohoho~ sure thing, Konzen-honey…"
***
Goku woke up in an excellent mood. Yawning lazily, he decided to curl back in his bed like a baby-bear and let Hakkai wake him up later. The gentle-motherly-and-kind Hakkai would never let Sanzou bash him for getting up late. How he loved Hakkai! ^w^ (Yay~! I love Hakkai too!)
So he closed his eyes and let slumber cradle him again back to the dreamland.
The door creaked open. Goku kept his eyes closed. He was still half-asleep. It must be Hakkai. That's what he thought.
"Goku, wake up. It's morning." Slender soft hands brushed his hair.
"Hmm… I'm still sleepy, Hakkai… 5 minutes later, OK?" Goku answered sleepily.
"But it's late, Goku-honey. We have to continue the journey soon… come on… Gojyo and Hakkai are downstairs waiting for us…"
"Huh…? Gojyo's already awake?" Goku sat up and blinked. "I thought I always woke up earlier than him… I can understand about Hakkai, but the kappa—" He gulped at his own statement. Did he just say Hakkai? Then who was the person next to him now?
Goku closed his eyes and chanted a short prayer for his sanity.
//This scent… the gloved hands… No way… Gods… I'm dreaming… I'm dreaming… I AM DREAMING!//
Cautiously, he took a peek at the 'person'.
"SANZOU?!" he shrieked.
***
Hakkai was chuckling cheerfully.
Gojyo was silently cursing as his lover gently wrapped the bandage around his body.
"Well, I'm done. It's not that bad." Hakkai tapped his redheaded kappa's shoulder. "You should be recovered in 10 days! ^_^"
"10 DAYS AND YOU STILL SAY: *NOT*THAT*BAD*?!!!" Gojyo almost shrieked. "COME ON HAKKAI!!!! Don't you love me anymore?!!!!"
"Oh well, Gojyo… I'd jump in to fire, I'd cross the ocean for you… but when it comes to Sanzou… oh well… we both know how helpless we are, right?" Hakkai grinned angelically.
Gojyo groaned and bowed his head helplessly. "Today is SO not my day! But at least someone will accompany me with these ugly bruises…" He grinned at the image of a bandaged Goku. "Our oh-so-almighty-Sanzou-sama is waking him up, right? Nya ha! He's just as sleepyhead as I am!"
Uh oh.
Wrong move, oh-so-dear-kappa-san.
How many times have I warned you?
NEVER EVER TRY TO PROVOKE OUR BEAUTIFUL, GENTLE, TENDER AND KIND CHO HAKKAI-SAMA!
"Listen, KOI." A dark Hakkai glared at his lover with a frown. "I DON'T LIKE WHEN YOU WISH SOMEONE ELSE'S BAD LUCK. Especially when it comes to our cute Goku!"
Gojyo smartly shut his big mouth while chanting a famous prayer to keep his soul safe in his body.
As if granting his wish, the awaited couple appeared at the stairs. Hakkai soon lost his infamous aura and prepared his sweetest smile to greet his two favorite yaoi couple. "Good morning, Sanzou. Good morning, Goku."
Goku appeared first. He was blushing heavily. Hakkai wrinkled his face, wondering what had gotten inside the boy's mind. And soon, answering his question, a bright-cheerful-and-smiling Sanzou appeared behind Goku. When he had gotten back his senses, Gojyo and him were hugging in surprise with shoujo-manga's rocket as the background picture.
"What the fuck did you say?" Sanzou frowned at the poor duo.
Hakkai blinked and exhaled in relief. At least Sanzou was acting as usual now.
"I said, good morning." He smiled nervously.
"Hn," Sanzou replied shortly while turning his head to Goku. "Goku-kun, what do you want to eat now?"
And Hakkai went blank.
He once had believed that his ears were the sanest part of his body, but now he wasn't so sure about it.
While our poor brunette was busy digging something out from his right ear, Sanzou escorted Goku to the dining table and even pulled out a chair for him.
"Come on. Sit here." He smiled as his gloved hands agilely tied a napkin on his pet's neck. "Perfect. You look great today, Goku-kun."
Gojyo turned blue at the statement, and soon found himself hugging Hakkai, longing for a normal day of Sanzou-ikkou…
"T—thanks—" Goku smiled nervously. "Y—you—you look beauti—I mean--great too, Sanzou."
"Were you about to call me beautiful?" Sanzou giggled cutely. "Why didn't you continue, Goku-kun? And I'd like you to call me Sanzou-chan too. That sounds great, don't you think so?"
That's it.
Our poor duo couldn't hold it anymore.
Without another word, they rushed outside the restaurant wondering if they were on the wrong planet …
***
"Nya ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaa~!!!! This is SO HILARIOUS!" Nataku rubbed the tears from his golden eyes. "What a sight to behold! What have you done to your nephew, Kanzeon Bosatsu?!"
"Oh yeah! For an almighty Goddess like me, nothing is impossible!" Kanzeon Bosatsu laughed her infamous fox laughter (well… does my kitsu-nee-chan feel offended? XP).
"Hmm… this is the most interesting show I have ever seen in my whole life…" Tentei laughed at the Theater Screen in front of him. "100 $ is worth this VIP seat."
"I told you that you wouldn't be disappointed!" Jiroushin grinned widely.
"Kanzeon Bosatsu, tell me what kind of SUPER-DUPER-STRONG-CHARM you used here?" Homura glared in excitement at the cross-dresser kami-sama.
"Hi-mi-tsu~" Kanzeon Bosatsu snickered evilly.
"Look! Look! He is holding him again!" Zenon blushed.
"Kyaaa~! I can't see this! This is NC-17!" ////" Shien hid behind Zenon.
"My deshi has turned so much better now." Koumyou Sanzou-sama made a XD face. "Go! Go! Koryu—I mean, Genjo! I support you all the way!"
"I support you too, Koryu!" Shuuei laughed his head off while repeatedly pulling Koumyou Sanzou's polo T-shirt for control.
"Come on everybody! Enter Kanzeon Bosatsu special Cinema to enjoy today's film: ERO-KONZEN~!" Jiroushin yelled at the speaker. And soon, the cinema that could hold 100,000 Gods at the maximum was full, with at least 200,000 Gods queuing outside the huge building, the greatest Home-theater in Tenkai.
***
~TBC~
Next Update: November 20th 2003