By: Ami
Beta Reader: kitsune-oni
ERO-BOUZU Chapter 3 of 3 – The End…AH~! Gomen, I'm LATEEEEE~!!!!!
Greetings for the kind reviewers:
To: Win-chan
Hai~! Thanks for reviewing! ^^ I appreciate it cause you still have 2 assignments to do, right? XD Gambatte, Win-chan!
To: Shiroki Kietsuki
Waii~! Thanks~! ^___^ *glomp* Love you for loving my fics~! You know, you have cheered up my bad day~! Thank you thank you thank you thank you~! *hearts*
To: gallatica
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is just another Saiyuki
Lemon fic
XD Nya ha~! I love that song too! Banzai hentaism! I'm hentai and I'm
proud of it!
To: Mag Magenta-sama
Oh! Don't worry about me! I love floating~! *THUD* *bumps an advertisement balloon* Itte~! Who put this dangerous thing here?! # # #
RANDOM PEOPLE : Whoa! Mother! I have never seen that kind of bird before!
RANDOM PEOPLE 2 : Me too, son… O.O Is it an alien? *snaps* *snaps* *snaps*
MAG MAGENTA-SAMA : ………………………….. //Maybe letting her float isn't such a good idea…// =_=;;
And in this place I long to be
You'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings
*glomp* Thank you for everything! ^w^ It's my great fortune to meet someone like you!
To: miracle*me
Wow! I love miracle! ^w^ Hmm… this inspired me to create another fic… *make a thinking pose* Nya ha~! Got it! And it's gonna uploaded soon! You will be my special dedication cause you have inspired me! *glomp*
To: chris pwure
Wai! Thanks! ^^ I really like you~! *glomp* It's gonna be Christmas soon, can I send you a Christmas Greeting Card? *puppy eyes* (Judging from your name, you might be a Christian~! ^o^ Any other Christians, tell me! I'll send you a greeting card!)
To: maboroshi16
Why would you feel scared? Isn't the new Sanzou cute? *blink* *blink* Na ha~!
To: GokuChan2002
Wow! Thanks for appreciating my weird brain! ^^ I really appreciate it! You know, your every word keeps my day bright. *glomp*
To: yuki-yuki
Zai-chan~! It has been a long time! Thanks for sparing your time for me! ^w^ It's gonna be Ramadan soon (if I'm not mistaken in spelling it… ^^;;). Merry Ramadan and have a nice bright day!
P.S: Don't forget to send me the photos!
To: On3
Ero Sanzou/Konzen will do as I want him to! Nya ha~! This is the power of fanfic-writer! ^o^ *glomp* Thanks for supporting me all the way. Nothing I can do but a thank you. Suddenly I realized that… umm… you're always there when I was upset. Your reviews always come ON time! :3 Thanks for cheering up my days!
To: EVA
*hold EVA's chair* Oops~! ^o^ I'm glad you love it that much! Thanks for sending me your sweet laughter. I really appreciate it. ^^ *glomp*
To: AOM
Aww… how we love Hakkai~! ^w^ *hold Hakkai together with AOM* Hakkai-san, koishiteruuuu~!!!
To: Anael Razualle
Wow! What a solid group! I wanna join too—
SANZOU : *glares*
……QQ And I thought that it was a liberal world…
P.S: Thanks for the video! He he he… ain't gonna share it with Sanzou… XP
DISCLAIMER : You know Saiyuki is Minekura Kazuya-sensei's. Suing innocents is a sin.
Here we go…
While our favorite couple was making out in the inn, two poor figures walked pointlessly around the small town. The youkai was sighing repeatedly, and the hanyou beside him just wouldn't stop cursing, muttering something audible about: 'There must be an alien here' and 'The world is going to end soon' and 'I'm dying' and 'The bouzu will have to pay for this'.
The other guy just sighed helplessly while looking around, hoping that 'something' would miraculously give him back his peaceful and beautiful day.
And…
"Ah! Hakkai-san!"
Hakkai turned around and smiled at the purple-haired young girl that was approaching him cheerfully.
"Yaone-san! O genki desu ka?"
"Hai, genki desu!" Yaone answered with a smile. "But you don't seem okay."
Hakkai sighed again and shook his head helplessly. "Everything is the worst it could possibly be, Yaone-san. Unfortunately."
"Huh? How could that be?" Yaone widened her eyes at the smiling brunette.
"Get away." Gojyo, recalling what Goku had said a few days ago, protectively shielded his dear Hakkai from the girl. "Let me make it clear to you, young girl. Cho Hakkai is mine."
Yaone blinked and nodded. "Sure. He is yours." //And Kougaiji-sama is mine. ^^//
"Good." Gojyo moved away with a satisfied smile while our poor Yaone wondered if something was wrong with the redhead hanyou.
"Ano… Yaone-san…" Hakkai sweat dropped. "Umm… actually… err… do you still want to hear what happened?"
"Sure." Yaone smiled. "What has happened?"
"Umm… err… it's about… our leader… yeah… Sanzou… lately he's changed." Hakkai bit his lower lip, silently hoping that Sanzou wouldn't kill him for spreading the news to the Kougaiji-ikkou. "You know, yesterday he did 'it' in front of everybody in a restaurant—till I managed to drag them inside a room."
"It?" Yaone widened her eyes. "You don't mean THAT 'it' right?"
Hakkai nodded.
"Ooh…" Yaone blushed and gasped. "It's amazing…"
"What? I don't think it's amazing!" Gojyo shrieked.
"Yeah… erm… I don't think it's that bad… because it's good for them to get together more intimate—" Yaone stopped as she recalled the earlier incident.
FLASHBACK
"Well you know… umm… about my relationship with Sanzou…" Goku spoke carefully and sheepishly. "Actually I have a problem with him. Oh well… you know… what kind of person Sanzou is…"
Yaone waited carefully, eyes wide with curiosity. "So?"
"Uh… I was wondering if you have… a sort of potion… umm… love potion… to make him become more… more… romantic?" Goku blushed at his own statement. "Well… do you have it?"
Yaone automatically blushed and bowed her head. Actually… she did have one… she had made it for her dear Kougaiji-sama but hadn't dared to use it.
"S—sure—I have one—but really I didn't use it for anyone for bad purposes and—"
"Really?" Goku's eyes glittered in happiness. "Please give me some of it! I really need it!"
And Yaone sweat dropped. Should she give it to him or not?
After thinking for a while, the purple-haired girl hesitantly handed a small bottle to the boy. "OK… use it well…"
"Yay! Thanks, Yaone-nee-chan! You're a great help!" Goku took the bottle happily before leaning forward to place a peck on Yaone's cheek. "Thanks a lot!"
Yaone blushed and brushed her cheek sheepishly. "Y—you're welcome… Goku-san…"
"And one more thing!" Goku grinned mischievously. "Please keep this as a secret, okay?"
Yaone smiled and pointed up a thumb. "Deal."
FLASHBACK – END
"Yaone-san?" Hakkai waved a hand in front of the daydreaming girl's nose. "Are you okay?"
"Aa—Hakkai-san—yeah—I'm okay," Yaone quickly answered with a nervous smile.
Gojyo examined Yaone's face. Yaone was just as naïve as Goku. She wasn't a good actress; her face always reflected her feelings. And something smelt fishy here…
"OK! I—I must cook for—err—Kougaiji-sama now, so I'll have to go—"
"Wait a minute." Gojyo extended a hand and grabbed Yaone by the collar. "Why are you in such a hurry?" He glared at the puppy eyes in front of him. "Or… are you hiding something from us… Yaone-SAN?"
***
"I APOLOGIZE!" Yaone bowed deeply. "I—err—I didn't know that it would turn out like this—I just thought that it would be nice for Goku-san—and—"
"Oh hell…" Gojyo put a hand to cover his tired face. "I KNEW IT! YOU'RE the cause of all this chaos!"
"Gojyo, don't blame her. She did what Goku asked her to do. Yaone-san is just too kind-hearted." Hakkai shielded his favorite member of the Kougaiji-ikkou.
"No, Hakkai-san! Gojyo-san is right! I made a mistake!" Yaone started to sob. "I'll do anything to fix it! Please give me a chance!"
Gojyo and Hakkai looked at each other and grinned.
God really existed.
***
Goku carefully stepped out of the room with a tired face. After a few hours of struggling, he had finally brought Sanzou back inside the room and cradled him to sleep. Don't ask him how. Use your imagination. XD
Umm… first step… he'd like to apologize to the restaurant owner who had almost got a hole in his head for interrupting their making out session in his peaceful restaurant. Then he'd like to go to the public hospital to visit the man who had 'accidentally' touched him. Oh… maybe a bunch of flowers wouldn't be enough… err… but at least he wanted to tell the man that he had been lucky for not being killed after getting shot numerous times by the oh-so-furious-'how'-'dare'-'you'-'touch-'MY'-'monkey'-monk… Next he'd like to get rid of the lacey waitress suit Sanzou had bought him… =_=;; Eww! He couldn't possibly wear something like that! Not even Sanzou could force him to wear that thing! No! No! No!
And next…
He wanted to look for Yaone and ask for the anti-potion.
He had had enough. Sanzou had to be stopped.
***
Kougaiji was sitting uneasily on his throne, looking at his wristwatch. His little stepsister entered the room and mumbled about the same thing he had been thinking about.
"Naa… Yaone hasn't returned…" Lirin mumbled. "Nii-chan… where is she? She had been out since the morning… it's almost evening and she hasn't returned…"
Kougaiji didn't answer. His imagination had been tempting him too much. I have compiled them into a book. If you're one of Kougaiji-sama's fans, drop by to take a look:
MY IMAGINATION
Author: Kougaiji-sama
Published by: Ami the 13th Company
Price: free for the readers
Prologue : It has been a long time, and my—err—our Yaone hasn't returned from her morning shopping. And here I—I mean—we are, waiting for her to return. Though I look cool and composed, actually my heart is yelling for her.
Chorus : Yaone! Please return to us safely! QQ
Imagination #1
Picture 1 : A SD (super-deformed) Yaone was walking down the street, holding a shopping bag.
Picture 2 : The SD evil Sanzou-ikkou stepped in her way and threatened her with their scary faces.
Picture 3 : Yaone-chan screamed but everybody was afraid of the evil Sanzou-ikkou so nobody came to save her.
Picture 4 : And so the Sanzou-ikkou kidnapped Yaone-chan.
Chorus : Yaone! Please return to us safely! QQ
Imagination #2
Picture 1 : A SD Yaone was walking down the street, holding a shopping bag.
Picture 2 : The SD evil Sanzou-ikkou was hiding behind the bushes, preparing a trap for Yaone-chan.
Picture 3 : Yaone-chan stepped on the trap and fell in to the hole.
Picture 4 : A close-up of the SD Evil Sanzou-ikkou, laughing victoriously.
Chorus : Yaone! Please return to us safely! QQ
Imagination #3
Picture 1 : A SD Yaone was walking down the street, holding a shopping bag.
Picture 2 : The SD evil Hakkai came with a bunch of roses in his hand.
Picture 3 : Yaone-chan's eyes turned into hearts.
Picture 4 : Evil Hakkai and Yaone-chan got married.
Chorus : Yaone! Please return to us safely! QQ
Imagination #4
Picture 1 : A SD Yaone was walking down the street, holding a shopping bag.
Picture 2 : Yaone-chan saw a Takoyaki shop and stopped there to buy some for her dear Lirin-sama.
Picture 3 : The evil SD Goku saw the Takoyaki shop too.
Picture 4 : The evil SD Goku kicked Yaone-chan away and robbed all the Takoyaki.
Chorus : Yaone! Please return to us safely! QQ
Epilogue : And so… that's why Yaone-chan couldn't return home until now…
~OWARI~
"Hey, Kou." Dokugakuji shook his head at his prince. "I think you have been overly creative. Nothing would have happened to her."
A SD Kougaiji rose from his throne and rushed outside with the speed of light.
"O—oi! Kou!" Dokugakuji widened his eyes at the sudden flash and smoke. "Where are you—"
And the room dropped silent.
Dokugakuji scratched his head and threw the new-published book away.
His prince would need a cup of tea once he had returned.
***
"I think I'm done!" Yaone finally came out from the laboratory, holding a precious bottle of the anti-hentai-potion.
"Really?" Gojyo couldn't help sobbing in happiness.
"I can't believe that we're going to get back our peaceful life…" Hakkai brushed away his tears.
"Now we just need to make Sanzou-sama drink this." Yaone smiled happily. "And I think we can leave it to—"
Someone entered the room.
"Yaone-nee-chan! Thank God you're here! I have been looking for you! Actually I need to—"
And all eyes turned to the golden-eyed boy with a sly smirk on each face. Goku turned pale at the atmosphere around himl especially the evil aura Gojyo and Hakkai were spreading.
"Hello, friends." He
smiled nervously as Gojyo and Hakkai started approaching him. "Why are
you—UMMPPFFFFFHHHHHH~!!!!!"
***
Sanzou stirred and slowly sat up on his bed. He glanced around the room but he couldn't find the sight he had expected to see.
//Where the hell is Goku?//
***
When the Goku-ikkou arrived, the inn was as noisy as hell. A huge crowd was surrounding the small inn, shivering at the horrible scene in front of them.
"What happened? What happened?!" Goku asked one of the girls in the crowd.
"Ano…" the girl explained, "A blond priest has taken the Inn-keeper as a hostage… he said that he wanted his pet returned… or something like that…"
And all of them dropped silent before shrieking at the same time.
"WHAAAAAT?!!!!!!"
***
"Listen you bloody old…" The scary monk glared at the poor old man. "For the nth time… WHERE*THE*HELL*IS*MY*PET?!"
"B—but—" The Inn Keeper almost cried. "I—really—don't know—Sanzou-sama…"
"LIAR~!!!!!" Sanzou roared. Soon his gun was pressed against the baldheaded man's temple. "Tell me NOW!"
"But—I—"
"Sanzou! Stop it!"
Sanzou stopped threatening the man as the familiar voice rang in his ears. With a swift movement, he rushed to the balcony.
"Sanzou! Here!" Goku waved his hands at the furious priest above them.
"Goku?!" Sanzou widened his eyes in relief.
"I'm here already! Come on, let the Inn Keeper go! He's innocent!" Goku yelled with red face. Probably because all eyes were concentrating on him and his over-protective lover.
"Whatever you say." Sanzou calmly threw the old man down, and the crowd automatically screamed and rushed to catch him. While they were all busy with the man, Sanzou jumped down the stairs and landed gracefully in front of his dear pet. "Bakazaru! Where have you been?! Have you got any idea how long I have been looking for you?! And the bloody people wouldn't tell me where you were!"
"Sanzou~" Goku didn't know if he had to cry or laugh at the fact that Sanzou had worried for him like a lunatic. One sure thing: he LOVED this guy. No matter what kind of personality Sanzou had, he still loved him and he would always love him forever and ever! How could be make Sanzou drink that potion? Sanzou was the best for him even with the worst personality. He had sinned enough. He'd have to confess.
"Sanzou…" Goku bit his bottom lip hesitantly. His hands reached the older guy's waist and pulled him into a warm embrace. "Forgive me! I—I made—"
"What?" Sanzou lifted Goku's chin. "What's wrong, love?"
"Actually… I…" Goku couldn't hold the soft sobs. "I made you drinking something horrible… the potion I gave you a few days ago…"
"Potion?" Sanzou looked confused.
"Uhn." Goku nodded. "The potion… I got it from Yaone-nee-chan… it was a hentai-potion… and it made you like this…"
"Hentai potion?" Sanzou gave him a puzzled look.
"First… umm… please drink this." Goku handed the priest the bottle of the anti-potion.
And Sanzou unexpectedly drank it all without asking too much.
And then he blinked.
And blinked.
And…
"W—what the—" Sanzou held his aching head. "What have I done?"
Goku sighed in relief. The anti-potion did work.
"Oi, bakazaru! What am I doing here?" Sanzou narrowed his eyes with his usual cold manner.
"Ano… you're getting… out of control again." Hakkai helpfully replied.
"Ch… what the fuck…" Sanzou put a hand to cover his reddening face. "I swear I'm gonna kill that old witch…"
"Witch?" Yaone's face turned pale.
"Yeah… the bloody old witch…" Sanzou gritted his teeth angrily while his hands were busy reloading his gun and preparing his battle armor.
"S—Sanzou! Where are you going to go?" Goku looked at his master in confusion.
"Where else?! I'll look for that fucking bitch and shoot bullets in to her fucking head!" Sanzou snarled furiously.
Gojyo quickly took a step in front of the almost-fainting Yaone. "W—wait, bouzu! It's not her fault! Actually—"
"Urusai!" Sanzou turned to Yaone's direction and glared at her with the most intimidating expression ever. "This time I'll really kill her!"
"Sanzou! Stop it!" Goku yelled, holding on Sanzou's arms. "Please stop it! It's all my fault!"
Sanzou stopped and turned back to his pet. "Why would you want to protect her?"
"B—because—I—" Goku sobbed. "It's my fault!"
"How could it be your fault, saru?!" Sanzou snapped impatiently. "Don't tell me you're the one who sold the photos to her and let her threaten me with them!"
And everyone struck dumb.
"What?"
"The old Bosatsu bitch came to my room last night. She showed me the photos someone had taken when I was with Goku in the restaurant that morning and told me that I must drink her special soda or else she would spread the photos around." Sanzou spoke while holding his breath in anger. "Now I know it! Her bloody soda is the cause of this chaos!"
"You mean—" Yaone blinked. "You didn't drink my—potion?"
"Yeah! The potion I gave you in the jeep!" Goku added. "You drank it, right?!"
"You mean the strange water?" Sanzou narrowed his eyes, "Why would I drink something so suspicious? I pretended to drink it but actually I threw it on to the road." [A/N: Nya ha~! XD If you don't believe him, reread chapter one! I just wrote: he emptied the bottle. Not drank. XD Gotcha!]
Gojyo's face faulted.
Genjo Sanzou-sama was definitely the slyest priest in all of Togenkyo.
"Then why did you act strange that morning? I mean… umm… doing 'that' at the restaurant table…" Hakkai chuckled.
"It must be the bloody bitch's soda. She forced me to drink it the night before." Sanzou put a hand on his mouth in disgust. "I swear I won't drink ANYTHING from her again."
Everybody started sharing relief-filled gazes. For the first time in those hard days, they had finally got back their lost peace…
Goku jumped to hug the confused Sanzou while Gojyo and Hakkai jumped together happily.
Yaone was happy too, but then she realized that it was almost evening.
"Masaka~! I haven't cooked dinner for Kougaiji-sama~!" she shrieked.
"Yaone~!" The prince finally arrived. "Where have you been?"
"Kougaiji-sama~!" Yaone hugged the REALLY red Prince in joy.
And everybody lived happily ever after.
***
Or…
Lirin touched the small bottle in front of her anxiously. It was so beautiful. She just got it from Yaone's pocket.
"I wanna know what content of this bottle is!" The little girl smirked.
***
KOUGAIJI'S PALACE – KITCHEN
"Lirin-sama? What are you doing here?"
"Nothing. I just wonder… which one is Mother Gyokumen's glass?"
"I think that's the one."
"Thanks~!"
***
SOMEWHERE IN TENKAI
"Jiroushin! What are you doing here~?"
"Nataku-sama~! Hide me~! Hide me somewhere far away from Kanzeon Bosatsu-sama! He/She acts strange after drinking her own soda~!!!! QQ"
*sweat drop*
"Yuuuuuhuuuuuuuu~!!! Jirouuuuuuushiiiiiin-darling~!!!!" *hearts*
~OWARI~
Hi~! ^^ For ones who still blur (cause my kitsu-nee-chan was blur too… QQ), so I added it a bit. So, Kanzeon Bosatsu-sama's soda has the same effect with Yaone's Love Potion. Get it? XD Don't ask me how she got it.
Owari na no da? Nya ha~! It has been a long time since I wrote this kind of fic. ^__^ Humor is sure good for tired brain (for readers) and sometimes tiring (for writer XP). Now I'd like to make a vote… for the loyal readers of Ero-Bouzu… for my next fic, what kind of fic do you want me to write?
humor humor/romance romance/humor romance/general romance/angst otherPlease do let me know because I'm confused what to write lately. I'd like to know what you think.
Thanks!