The Untitled Emotion
By: aNiMe-MiSaO
Why? Why did you pick me to be your friend those many years ago? I need to know. I really do. You could've saved me from all that pain, all that confusion; that feeling. But you didn't. You know, there are a lot of other people in this world.... *flashback* (Years!)
You were watching. You always watched. Higher... lower... higher... lower... I was on the swings, but of course you already knew that I liked them. How? I still need to ask you. It was the fifth time this week, and the swings were free every time, I was here. I had enough time to rehearse in my head what to say to you that would make you stop staring.
I thought:: eeewwww!!! He's a boy!!!! cooooooties!!!!- wait! maybe he's different. Or maybe...... he's just weird.
I shook the thought from my head, and moments later asked: "You. You always stare at me. Why?"
You said, "I'm not staring. I'm watching you."
I reached a conclusion: Yup. Definitely different. Definitely.
From that day on, we hung out at the park, and soon found out that we lived in the same neighborhood. We didn't go to the same middle school, but knew each other inside out. As the years flew by, I couldn't think of a day without talking to you. Now it was time to start high school and you had your "brilliant" idea. Well, were you happy because it came to life. I was going to the same school as you, but did I know what I was getting myself into? Nope. I had absolutely no idea.
High school was different alright, but with a new environment came new challenges. You joined the soccer and basketball teams, but I didn't have time for sports. I couldn't race through homework and projects, or even study for tests at the last minute like you. I seemed as if we were never friends. You had a busy schedule to manage, but soon became popular. I made few friends, but to make it simple: We were as different as black and white.
Then she came. Yep. It's your girlfriend on the phone again. She wants to you to go to her cheerleading practices. She "needs" you to carry her books to class. It was as if I never existed. I probably never did. I was quiet all the time now. Didn't you notice? You're in my math class, you were my best friend, you were there for me when I need you.
I sat in class, my least favorite subject: algebra. I was silent again and never once looked up from my desk. I heard your footsteps walk up next to me. You said, "Hey." I looked up, but you were talking to her. Yes, her and her friends. I looked back down. I should've known. On the verge of tears, I closed my eyes, hoping to suddenly appear in my room. A room full of pictures of the past. That's right. The Past.
It's your first basketball game of the year, and for some reason, I find myself sitting in the gym. Though near the back, I was surprised I was even hear at all. First half, and you didn't look at me yet. Here! I'm over here! I wanted to shout out to you like always, but I didn't. You finally waved in my direction. Why "my direction?" Why not "at me?" Sure enough, as I turned around, your "sweet" girlfriend is there. I got up, and walked home. It was pointless. Why were you waving at her when she didn't even see you? Are you that in love? Did I really lose you for good? All I could do was hope not. I didn't want to lose you. I'd rather die forever than lose you. Finally, home. The game's probably over, but it's not like I care, right? The phone started to ring, but I didn't bother picking it up. It was you. "Hey, I hope you got home safely. Alright, bye then." I stopped and stared at the receiver as though it was possessed. Did you really see me at your basketball game? Did you really care enough to call me and ask me if I got home safely?
There was a sudden mixture of emotions. I was happy, but felt sad. Everything finally made sense, but I was confused. I was smiling, but crying. What is this emotion? Still, I didn't know. That, or I didn't want to admit......
The next day, I had algebra first period and was, again, staring at my lap. Once again, those familiar footsteps approached and stopped here- yes, again. You said, "Hey." I didn't look up. I knew you were talking to her again, but-
You placed your hand on my shoulder. Even though the tears hadn't escaped yet, I knew you could see it as you raised my head up with a slight touch of your warm fingers.
"Hey," you repeat, "Why have you been ignoring me lately? I've called you so many times."
I wanted to scream and yell, "What do you mean I ignore you?!?!?! Look who's talking!!!" I wanted to shout at you, but I just couldn't. So I said, "You needed time with your girlfriend."
"So that's what it is?" you say with a tint of anger in your voice, "Well you know what? I broke up with her."
I cannot move. "Why?" I say.
"Because there's someone else."
"Great," I think, "More girlfriends... Oh well." The conversation ended there. As the day drove on, I began to feel sleepy. I managed to get home, when something caught my eye:
There, laying on the doormat was a bouquet of flowers. I looked to see who it was addressed to:
Me.
The Flowers were my favorite: white roses. Inside was a note. Not a card. Not a letter. But a note that said:
I'll keep fighting until I see your smile. I love you.
It was from you. I haven't smiled for what felt like the longest time, but you finally broke that spell. Thank you. You really did care. And you know what? I'm not afraid to love. I'm not afraid of love. But I am afraid to lose love. Your love. I love you, too.
The End.
By: aNiMe-MiSaO
Why? Why did you pick me to be your friend those many years ago? I need to know. I really do. You could've saved me from all that pain, all that confusion; that feeling. But you didn't. You know, there are a lot of other people in this world.... *flashback* (Years!)
You were watching. You always watched. Higher... lower... higher... lower... I was on the swings, but of course you already knew that I liked them. How? I still need to ask you. It was the fifth time this week, and the swings were free every time, I was here. I had enough time to rehearse in my head what to say to you that would make you stop staring.
I thought:: eeewwww!!! He's a boy!!!! cooooooties!!!!- wait! maybe he's different. Or maybe...... he's just weird.
I shook the thought from my head, and moments later asked: "You. You always stare at me. Why?"
You said, "I'm not staring. I'm watching you."
I reached a conclusion: Yup. Definitely different. Definitely.
From that day on, we hung out at the park, and soon found out that we lived in the same neighborhood. We didn't go to the same middle school, but knew each other inside out. As the years flew by, I couldn't think of a day without talking to you. Now it was time to start high school and you had your "brilliant" idea. Well, were you happy because it came to life. I was going to the same school as you, but did I know what I was getting myself into? Nope. I had absolutely no idea.
High school was different alright, but with a new environment came new challenges. You joined the soccer and basketball teams, but I didn't have time for sports. I couldn't race through homework and projects, or even study for tests at the last minute like you. I seemed as if we were never friends. You had a busy schedule to manage, but soon became popular. I made few friends, but to make it simple: We were as different as black and white.
Then she came. Yep. It's your girlfriend on the phone again. She wants to you to go to her cheerleading practices. She "needs" you to carry her books to class. It was as if I never existed. I probably never did. I was quiet all the time now. Didn't you notice? You're in my math class, you were my best friend, you were there for me when I need you.
I sat in class, my least favorite subject: algebra. I was silent again and never once looked up from my desk. I heard your footsteps walk up next to me. You said, "Hey." I looked up, but you were talking to her. Yes, her and her friends. I looked back down. I should've known. On the verge of tears, I closed my eyes, hoping to suddenly appear in my room. A room full of pictures of the past. That's right. The Past.
It's your first basketball game of the year, and for some reason, I find myself sitting in the gym. Though near the back, I was surprised I was even hear at all. First half, and you didn't look at me yet. Here! I'm over here! I wanted to shout out to you like always, but I didn't. You finally waved in my direction. Why "my direction?" Why not "at me?" Sure enough, as I turned around, your "sweet" girlfriend is there. I got up, and walked home. It was pointless. Why were you waving at her when she didn't even see you? Are you that in love? Did I really lose you for good? All I could do was hope not. I didn't want to lose you. I'd rather die forever than lose you. Finally, home. The game's probably over, but it's not like I care, right? The phone started to ring, but I didn't bother picking it up. It was you. "Hey, I hope you got home safely. Alright, bye then." I stopped and stared at the receiver as though it was possessed. Did you really see me at your basketball game? Did you really care enough to call me and ask me if I got home safely?
There was a sudden mixture of emotions. I was happy, but felt sad. Everything finally made sense, but I was confused. I was smiling, but crying. What is this emotion? Still, I didn't know. That, or I didn't want to admit......
The next day, I had algebra first period and was, again, staring at my lap. Once again, those familiar footsteps approached and stopped here- yes, again. You said, "Hey." I didn't look up. I knew you were talking to her again, but-
You placed your hand on my shoulder. Even though the tears hadn't escaped yet, I knew you could see it as you raised my head up with a slight touch of your warm fingers.
"Hey," you repeat, "Why have you been ignoring me lately? I've called you so many times."
I wanted to scream and yell, "What do you mean I ignore you?!?!?! Look who's talking!!!" I wanted to shout at you, but I just couldn't. So I said, "You needed time with your girlfriend."
"So that's what it is?" you say with a tint of anger in your voice, "Well you know what? I broke up with her."
I cannot move. "Why?" I say.
"Because there's someone else."
"Great," I think, "More girlfriends... Oh well." The conversation ended there. As the day drove on, I began to feel sleepy. I managed to get home, when something caught my eye:
There, laying on the doormat was a bouquet of flowers. I looked to see who it was addressed to:
Me.
The Flowers were my favorite: white roses. Inside was a note. Not a card. Not a letter. But a note that said:
I'll keep fighting until I see your smile. I love you.
It was from you. I haven't smiled for what felt like the longest time, but you finally broke that spell. Thank you. You really did care. And you know what? I'm not afraid to love. I'm not afraid of love. But I am afraid to lose love. Your love. I love you, too.
The End.