~*~ Trying Again ~*~

The music, the beat, it was all so insanely beautiful. Long dark hair whipped around in a frenzy as the music screamed and I danced like a demented dark angel. All alone in my self-contained world, I didn't notice the people watching me as my hands slid over my body, through my hair, and up into the air. I had in the beginning, but I just didn't give a damn now. Here I didn't have to think or try and make sense of anything, didn't have to worry about what people said or meant, if they were lying or being sincere. I could simply exist.

It's why I'd created this place to begin with after all. My own 'Haven' from the world. Droplets of sweat trickled down my face and dampened my clothing as I moved to an abrupt stop as the music cut off, panting slightly with my eyes still closed. I finger-combed my hair back and opened my eyes to stare directly in a set of silvery-grey, and smiled.

Back at my table I sat down and tilted my head at Draco for a moment before snagging a cigarette and lighting it at the candle. Draco stood and made his way over, sliding into the booth with an enviable economy of motion. A waitress appeared out of seemingly nowhere and placed two drinks on the table, then disappeared just as quickly. I blew out a stream of smoke before taking a glass and drinking, letting the cool fire slide down my throat.

"It's not like I'll bite," I said conversationally, flicking the ashes from my cigarette into the ashtray. "Drinks are on me, like I said. Are you having a good evening?" I continued, raising one brow questioningly.

"Why do you smoke?" asked Draco.

"Perhaps it's not so strange to think I got a little rebellious after all was said and done, and from there I realized I didn't want to stop this particular experiment, or a few others for that matter." I tilted my head again, letting my dark hair fall across my shoulder in an almost coquettish manner. "You sound like Hermione when you ask that, all direct and to the point. Tell me something, if you will. Why do you watch? Not that I mind, of course, I'm simply curious. And, I might point out, I'm glad to see you either way."

I was rewarded by a blink from Draco and watched as a pale hand snaked out for the other glass.

"You don't exactly beat around the bush either, do you?" replied Draco, after sampling his drink. "You've changed a lot, haven't you."

"Only in the things that don't hold much meaning, if you care for the distinction," I said casually.

"Mmm. Why do I watch? I don't think I can answer that just now. Not fully anyway. You do put on quite a show though, Grey. Surely you must be aware of that." Draco ran his finger around the rim of his glass, though no sound arose from the action. "I think I can safely assume that there are a trusted few well aware of the truth then, judging by what you said a moment ago. Somehow, that doesn't surprise me."

I flicked my hair back behind my shoulders and took another drag, closing my eyes as I exhaled toward the ceiling. 'Merlin, this was hard. I can barely sit still around him and I don't think he has any idea what he's doing to me.' I leaned forward and returned the glass to the table asking, "Care to dance with me again?" and batted my lashes flirtatiously. "Well, that is if you'll finish what you start this time."

~*~

I sat there, outwardly composed now, utterly casual. I couldn't help but wonder about the mention of Hermione, and whether or not she'd had anything to do with any of this. Granted, it had been a chance remark when the conversation had turned to harmless amusements. I could hardly be surprised that someone who was obviously still alive had kept the faith with a trusted few associates, but still, I had to wonder if people were trying to maneuver me around like a chess piece.

Did it matter? I wasn't sure. I was sure about that question though. I wouldn't dream of saying no, not now, not after all this time. I knew a challenge when I heard one, regardless of the manner in which it was being given.

And so I heard myself saying, "Finish what I start? You can bet I can. Let's go." In the back of my mind an uncertain voice whispered, 'Did he just make a serious pass at me, or is this just part of the new man's normal behavior?' I moved to the side and stood, not bothering to glance back over my shoulder as I walked to the dance floor to see if Grey had followed.

Once there I turned around to see Grey exactly where I expected him to be, and without unnecessary words, we both started moving to the music. What I hadn't expected was for Grey to treat me the way he'd been treating his own body. Just as I'd often watched Grey's hands roam his own body and hair, they now roamed over my own with the same wanton abandon. I wasn't sure whether I should pass out from pleasure or give back as good as I got, but since I wasn't about to black out again like some prat, I decided on the latter as a matter of course.

I started my own dance with my hands, finally getting to touch the ever elusive figure before me, and so intent on what I was doing and feeling that I almost missed the cocky little quirk that flashed across the corner of Grey's mouth. I didn't care that Grey was damp with perspiration or that I was getting whipped with thousands of dark strands as he tossed his head. All I cared about in these moments were being able to touch what had so far been a mere dream that had haunted me through years of lonely nights. It was like being whipped with the softest silk imaginable in a self-devised torture of dreaming, except this time, it was real.