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The Truth about Airplane Food and Talking Hamsters

 10 minutes later…

"Why do I have to be the pet?" complained Ron.

"Because," said Hermione "you're the one working on your animagis training." "Well so are you." He retorted.

"But Ron! I have to be Al's wife, I don't think you want that part, do you? I think it would be hilarious."

Minerva said then "Hilarious as it would be I don't think that I would like to see my homie and yo homie together like that."

 "$%& !#*$!& #%& #@$&#%" said Ron.

(A/N There are a few words from Ron that we cannot write here if we want to keep this rating.)

"Ronal' Weezley you betta watch yo mouth befo' I get out the soap." Said Minerva.

"Can I request Ivory?" retorted Ron "It has such a fruity flavor."

"Whatever yo say doll."

     Ron the Hamster glowered, as he was loaded on the cart. None but Harry and Hermione knew this was Ron. Sprout was laughing at Ron when Ron nearly blew the whole plan by saying "What you looking at?" Sprout started screaming and jumping once again until Hermione put a silencing charm on her. Sprout started charging Hermione until she saw a wand.

"No hard feelings?" Sprout mouthed.

"No hard feelings." Said Hermione as she took the silencing charm off.

"Accio Ticket" Hermione pointing to the man in front of her. Harry did the same. When the man came to the counter he said,

"I can't find my ticket!"

The lady at the desk said "That's good your Osama Bin Ladin! SECRITY SECURITY!"

"No" said Osama "I am Fred Flinstone- yabba dadda doo? See here is my wife" he took Hermione's hand "Barney Rubble."

"SECRURITY!" she yelled. Osama was taken away.

"Well now I don't feel so bad about stealing now that we found America's most wanted terrorist." Said Hermione. (A/N Were sorry if you find this offensive. If you have a problem please review us and we will take it off line)

Ron the Hamster looked at his cage-mate, a black lab.

"Hi." he said.

"Woof!" came the reply.

Ron the Hamster started running on his wheel kicking shavings at the lab. He was going have a boring flight.

Harry looked at his "mashed potatoes".  

"Hermione what's this?" Harry asked in a nervous voice.

"Mashed Potatoes" or so they say. Studies show that when prodded with a wand they turn into a purple powder that will create a smoke diversion. I believe they make dungbombs out of this." Said Hermione.

          Ron the Hamster had pulled out his wand, which was 3 times his size and poked his pellets. They set off like a filibuster fireworks.

"So that's how they make them." Said Ron the Hamster.

The lab said "ARK ARK AARK".

This attracted the maid.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHRGG" she yelled when she saw the hamster pellets go off. She picked up Ron and gave him to Hermione. Al picked up Ron the Hamster. Ron said

"That stupid lab next to me made the flight attendant come in and saw my wand. As she was coming up here I got a good bite that should leave a nice mark on her thumb for a while. Just like S-s-scabbers!"

"Still why did you have to come now?" Hermione hissed, "Al was about to kiss me!"

"Hermione! You should not be making out with our Headmaster!" said Ron.

"Is that Ron? Wow." Said Al

"I got a hamster homie?" said Minerva

"Shut up" said Harry "or we'll get caught."

    They were grounded in Minnesota. Almost all of the airports were shut down from St. Paul west due to a computer virus. For at least a month you couldn't travel by plane.

"Me an' my homies are gonna be in big trouble." Said Minerva to a security "We need a plane to Redmon'. My homie gonna turn into a werewolf in a mo-" "Silencio" yelled the three wizards and Minerva shut up, but the officer didn't.

"'Wholy crud what'd you do!"

"RUN!" yelled Al.

"IMPERDEMENTA"

 "IMPEDAMENTA! RUN" came shouts from Harry, Ron and Hermione. The guards stopped and they got away. But not after the FBI was notified.

***

Gilderoy Lockheart answered the telephone.

"Hello Gilderoy Lockhart speaking, winner of People's most charming smile award, Time's nose of the year, Cosmo's most beautiful face award, and Time's person of the year- but I don't talk about that much."

"Sir" said the lieutenant on the other end "we have had some strange reports."

 "Go on."

" Six teenagers were spotted at the St. Paul airport. One teen started yelling some rubbish about werewolves. But the weird part is three of the teens pulled out sticks and sparks came out and then the girl became completely silent. So we started chasing them and the three put up the sticks again and security froze and would not move for fifteen seconds."

"Lemmie guess. Out of the three with the sticks, one had bushy brown hair and nice teeth, one had black hair green eyes and a funny scar, and one had red hair and lots of freckles."

"How did you know?"

"Lucky guess. So lets put them on America's most wanted and catch them."

"Bye Sir."

"Yes and remember vote for me as president."

***

The group sat out side the airport, panting.

"Minerva." moaned Al "Why, why, why did you say that?"

"They gonna make my homie late for his due date." Said Minerva. Sprout said,

 "Were gonna be wanted by the," she started counting on her fingers "CIA, FBI, SS, Army, Navy, Marines, Airfor-"

 "SHUT UP SPROUT" yelled everyone around.

They snuck around the terminals until they came to the highway. Ron stuck his thumb out signaling for a ride. Finally a 1969 Chevy truck pulled over. "You fellers need a ride?"  Asked the man. 

"Yes." Said Al trying not to breath the strong odor. They got in the car.

"So where you heading?" the man asked.

"Redmond, Washington." Said Hermione.

"Whys you heading there younguns?"

 "Seeing relatives." Said Al before Minerva could start her famous speech.

"Whateva'.'" the old man said.

          They were in the car and the words were trying to burst from Sprout's mouth. She finally just let them out.

"Um, Sir? When did you last take a shower?"

"Errrr… Uhhh… can't remember."  The incredible stinky man said.

"Just drop us off at the next exit." Said Sprout.

***

The six sat at the shoulder.

"What did you do that for?" said Al to Sprout.

"If you must know I do care about my personal hygiene!" she retorted.

"So what are we going to do if we can't hitch hike?" said Harry.

"Uhhhhhhh Errrrrr. I don't know, why don't we uhhhh errrrrr start walking." Said Ron.

So they started.

***

They got out of St. Paul three hours later. Their feet were dragging along the sidewalk. Harry finally found the strength to look up. Police cars, helicopters, people in trench coats and black suits and dogs.

"Umm you guys just so you know the CIA, SS, FBI, Marines, Air force, National Guard, Police, Army and Men In Black are following us." Said Harry.

"What did I tell you!" said Sprout "I told you but nooo you didn't listen. Who is the wise one- "

"SHUT UP SPROUT!"  Yelled the rest of them.

"Okay we need to think. Think Hermione THINK!" said Hermione to her self. "I have a brillen' idea." Said Minerva "RUN!" 

They ran into the woods.