Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Harry Potter besides my own personal copies of the books. So just read this and move on.
Chapter Three:
Spell-O-Tape and Simple Bar Fights
***
Harry stepped out into the warm afternoon sun. He'd left pretty quickly and hadn't had much sleep. He had a tryout for the Cannons two days after his birthday, and he'd completely forgotten about getting measured for his Quidditch robes.
He had a lot on his mind. James sudden appearance was the biggest. Why was he not told about him? Why did Dumbledore just send James to him with just a short note? It was a shocking thing to happen to him. Now all he needed was a long lost sister to completely wreck his mental well being, or what little of it existed.
He felt bad. He had known Sirius and his own son hadn't. James's mom had hid James from Sirius too. James was so much like Sirius except he had an American accent and some weird mannerisms. Harry was almost positive James's Patronus would be an enormous dog.
Remus had said that seeing the two of them together was like seeing Sirius and James alive again. Remus had told them some pretty funny stories that morning. A lot he'd never heard before. He had no idea that both Sirius and his father had been able to belly dance. James was amusing, and Harry liked him at once. He was like a slightly drunken version of Sirius. He had never expected someone to pull a gag like that on Hermione and live to suffer the consequences.
As Harry got ready to Apparate home, he once again wondered what life would be like had his parents lived.
***
James Remus Peter Delacour-Black sat down and began chewing his pasta. The sauce was okay. He should have used more oregano. He was glad he had made so much since the smell of food had managed to attract Remus, Tonks, Ron, Lavender, and Ginny. They had all showed up in such quick succession that it was scary. The only one he minded was Lavender. She was blathering on about something unimportant, and it was starting to grate on him. Any second now, he was gonna snap and take her out.
"So you lived in America?" Tonks said, looking at him.
"Hmm?" he had missed the question.
"She asked you about America," Hermione told him.
"Oh yeah. Nice place. Kind of fun," he answered, slightly distracted still.
"James, be polite," Hermione ordered him.
"Yes, Mistress." He bowed his head slightly, making everyone smile.
"Don't do that. It's too much like a house-elf," she said disdainfully. James had noticed she seemed partial to house-elves. He'd have to ask about that later. Until then he could have some fun.
"Yes, Mistress," he said with an exaggerated bow and a squeaky voice.
"I'm serious, James." She seemed to be, but that was no reason not to push it.
"Of course, Mistress," James made his voice as squeaky as possible. Remus had a huge smile on his face, and everyone else was either smiling or laughing.
"I will slap you again if you do not shut-up," she growled in a low, threatening voice that James had heard his mother use only once, and that had been before his mother had locked him in his room for a week.
"Okay. I'm sorry. Please don't hit me again." He really didn't want another slap.
"Again?" Ron asked.
"James tried to follow her into the bathroom, and she slapped him," Ginny explained.
"That's mean! You shouldn't have slapped him!" Lavender scolded Hermione.
"It was my fault," James told her before anyone had a chance to reply. "I was joking around, and she slapped me. It was fun anyway. I like the abuse." Damned if someone like Lavender was going to tell off Hermione. She would have to go. He hated being sneaky, but he had a natural disposition for it, and he could get rid of her easily.
"When's Harry going to be back?" Tonks asked, changing the subject.
"Now," Harry said, stepping into the kitchen. "What's that delightful smell?"
***
After the early makeshift dinner, everyone had decided to go into the den. Well, except for Lavender and Ron. They had gone to Lavender's. James was very grateful. Ron was cool, but another minute with Lavender and he was going to kill someone.
James sipped his butterbeer and listened to the story Remus was telling about some poor dude called Snape and a large roll of Spell-o-tape. It was rather funny actually. He watched Tonks looking at Remus. They would make a nice couple. Ginny was leaning against Harry. They looked really cute together. Hermione had sat across the room from him in an armchair she had conjured. He wondered about her. She had said she'd consider going out with him. He really wanted to go out with her. She was just the type of girl he could picture himself with.
***
Hermione glanced over at James. He had been watching her a second or two ago. Now he was watching Remus again. She disapproved of what they had done to Snape but only a little. It was overall a funny story. She watched James some more. Tomorrow she would agree to going out with him unless he did the house-elf thing again. If he did that, he would have to wait another day. It really bothered her. He was cute, but some things could not be tolerated.
***
Ginny watched all the glancing going on between those two. They would be a cute couple together. She watched Remus tell the story. Tonks was watching Remus too, but she was looking like she wanted more than just to hear an amusing story about taping people to things.
Ginny put her head on Harry's lap and considered ways to get the two couples together.
***
Harry listened to the story with tears in his eyes, he was laughing so hard. Apparently one day Snape had unjustly jinxed his father and Remus. Sirius had followed Snape into an empty classroom and then Spell-o-taped him to a blackboard. Remus told the story masterfully. It was a beautiful thing. If he had just heard the story a couple of years ago, Malfoy would have suffered a similar fate.
***
Tonks watched Remus with rapt attention. He was just the guy she wanted. Dignified but funny, cute but not too cute, and most importantly, he was unique.
***
Remus tried to keep his mind on the story even though he could tell only Harry was listening. Tonks was distracting. She wasn't his type and a couple of years too young, but he wanted to ask her out anyway.
***
Hermione stacked the plates. Some how she had got stuck cleaning the dishes. James and Harry were out "shopping" even though she specifically heard the words, "Good," "Bar," and "Broomsticks," whispered as they left. Remus and Tonks had gone out somewhere on their own. She waved her wand, and the stacked plates flew directly into the cupboard.
"We should have gone with them," Ginny declared from the table.
"They went to a bar, you know?" Hermione sat next to Ginny.
"That's why I want to go," she pouted.
"I don't care much for bars," Hermione said, even though she would have gone just to spend time with James.
"I don't either, but Harry shouldn't have left me. He's sleeping alone until his birthday," Ginny swore. Hermione knew she was too nice to follow through with it, but it was funny nonetheless.
Just then they heard the front door open. A few seconds later, Harry and James limped inside.
"Well that was…" Ginny stopped, seeing the relatively beat up faces of the two. "What the hell happened?" she yelled.
"Just a simple bar fight." James smiled through busted lips.
"A simple bar fight," Harry said incredulously throwing, his hands up and sitting at the table on the opposite side of the girls.
"What happened?" Hermione asked.
"Someone called Harry a Mudblood-loving-fool," James said.
"You shouldn't have punched him," Harry told him. Ginny, a healing arts major, was already healing his face. "It's best to ignore those assholes."
"Yeah, but the risk is worth the reward." James grinned, and his lips began bleeding again.
"What reward? A busted face? A large group of missing teeth? Are you stupid?" Hermione yelled as James sat next to her.
"No guts, no glory," he stated simply.
"Stupid prat," retorted Hermione.
"From what I hear you did plenty of stupid things in school." James leaned back until his chairs front legs were no longer touching the ground.
"For the greater good, not a punch in the face." She was definitely not going to date someone this stupid.
"I was defending Harry's integrity," James said.
"James, not that I'm ungrateful or anything, but leave me out of this," Harry said, fully healed and apparently worried about receiving new injuries from Hermione.
"Sure," James said.
"Do you just go out looking for fights?" Hermione asked.
"Not often," James said, flinching slightly as Ginny began healing his face.
"Hermione, everyone knows that Harry has a knack for attracting trouble. Let James off. It wasn't his fault," Ginny told her healing James's lips.
"Yeb lbs magg ott," James muttered, unintelligibly cause his lips were healing.
"What?" Hermione missed what he said.
James opened his mouth, but Harry, who apparently understood what James said, covered his mouth with his hand.
"He said he's sorry," Harry told her.
"Yep. That's what I said. And I'm sorry I argued with you," James truly seemed sorry suddenly.
"I'm going upstairs," Hermione walked around the table and left.
"Real smooth. Now she definitely hates me," James said as soon as she left.
"She's just pissed at you. She'll get over it," Ginny assured him.
"It's all my fault. I shouldn't have even argued with her," James shook his head miserably.
"Don't worry. This is nothing compared to her rows with Viktor," Harry assured him.
"Viktor?" asked James.
"Her last boyfriend. They had terrible rows over lots of thing right before they broke it off," Ginny explained.
"Did he stay here?" James had a note of jealousy in his voice.
"Yeah, but in a different room from Hermione," Harry explained. "The thing they fought about last was that she refused to sleep with him." Harry recalled the row that had lasted for two hours and ended with Krum leaving.
"I need to apologize," James stood up.
"Best leave it until she cools down a bit," advised Harry.
"No I should just go and apologize now." James started toward the door.
"She might hit you," Ginny warned.
"The risk is definitely worth the reward," he said after a second, and with a determined smile he walked through the kitchen door.
"Brave fool," Harry said quietly.
"I thought you were going shopping."
"Well, you see…" Harry began. He recognized that look in her eye as the one Mrs. Weasley wore when she was about to tear someone apart.
"No matter." Ginny smiled. "You can take me to Diagon Alley tomorrow. I need some new stuff." Harry breathed a sigh of relief.
***
James took a deep breath. He didn't want Hermione to be mad at him, whatever the reason. He wanted her to like him. He was obviously going to have to work hard to make this relationship happen.
He reached up to knock when the door opened. Hermione looked a bit shocked for a moment.
"I just wanted to apologize again," James said quickly.
"Apology accepted," Hermione said. "I was just coming downstairs to ask if you wanted to get some ice-cream." She had realized that yelling at him was stupid, as they had barely known each other a day. Why should she get mad because he had decided to pick a fight?
"Actually, I'm about to pass out on my feet. How about tomorrow?" He knew it wouldn't be flattering to fall asleep in his mint chip.
"Okay." She didn't want to push him to get ice-cream with her. Besides, he really did look exhausted, even though it was only seven-thirty.
"Well, later then." He backed into the room across the hall that Harry had assigned him.
"Goodnight," she smiled at him.
***
A\N: All I've done all day is write and drink a few Slurpees. I wrote two separate things today, and I'm literally exhausted. I haven't been sleeping too much lately because of lack of reviews (which his beta thinks is stupid). If you care at all for my health REVIEW.
Special thanks to the great and wonderful Anna Black. Even though she thinks I'm stupid. L