Soda was crying so hard that the doctor had to give him something to make him pass out. I was in shock. Darry was the only one keeping it together. We came home for hospital the next day around dawn. It felt like a lifetime had passed since we were last in the house. The house itself felt different, like it didn't belong to us. Darry carried Soda in and I followed behind. I sat on the couch and turned the TV on while Darry took Soda to his bed.

"Ponyboy, go to bed" Darry said to me as he came out of the room.

"No" I realised I'd been sitting on the couch staring at the TV for a while. My eyes hurt, my head was spinning and I was tired but I didn't want to go to sleep. The truth was, I was scared, I didn't know exactly of what.

Darry gentle pulled me up off the couch and led me to my bed. I laid down and he sat next to me.

"It's going to be ok, Pony. We're going to get through this. Together" he said stroking my hair. He was still calm and collected. He hadn't shed a tear but his eyes were so sad. He'd lost that sparkle in them. I knew his heart had been broken. He would probably suffer more than any of us.

I started to say something but before I knew it, I was asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Ponyboy fell asleep, Darry walked around the house a few times. He didn't know what to do with himself. He wanted to cry and scream how unfair all this was. He realised that he would have to do everything he could to keep whats left of his family together. He felt he was being weighed down by 100 tons of bricks and it hurt. But one thought kept going through his head

I'm never going to see them again I'm never going to see them again I'm never…

He found himself outside his parents' bedroom door. An hour passed before he finally had the courage to open the door. He walked in and locked the door behind him. The bed was made. Everything was neat and tidy as always.

Mom you never could stand mess

He walked over and sat on the bed, looking around the room.

They'll never sleep in this bed again.

It suddenly hit him, like a thunderbolt, the reality of the situation. He could never speak to his father again, never taste his cooking, never play football with him, never tell him how much he loved him, never…

He frantically searched his brain, trying to remember what was the last thing his father said to him.

"I'll see you after church" that's what he said. He was happy, he was smiling, he was pleased with me…  

Darry laid back on the bed, smelling his mother's perfume on her pillow and, unable to keep it in any longer, began to cry softly.

Not too loud, he thought

He didn't want his brothers to hear him. He had to be strong for them. They had to survive no matter what.

I wont go to college, he thought, I wont go to college and work full-time to support them. We'll be alright. We can do this. We can survive.

"Who are you kidding?" he said to himself out loud. Fatigue finally overcame him and he fell asleep.

I hope that was depressing enough. I'm taking a break for about 2 weeks coz I have exams okies! Bye! Dnt forget to review!!