AUTHOR'S NOTE:
sorry- "abc" was right, it is getting boring and depressing, but don't worry- keep tuning in becuz I already know what happens (duh) and you guys will love it- trust me- it gets better.....
On with the next chapter....
PS: Sorry about the delay- i just got my computer fixed so now i promise to update more...
***
Hermione had been thinking about Draco all afternoon- her eyes constantly wandering about the room, her thoughts drifting away from the droning voice of Professor Snape. Potions class mainly consisted of taking huge portions of notes- but Hermione found herself doing otherwise. She had potions with the Slytherins, meaning her eyes were fixd on Draco the entire period. He looked up- noticing her stare. Hermione blushed and looked away, feeling humiliated. She was still puzzled about the way he'd confided in her, why he'd chosen a "flithy little mudblood" to spill his heart out to.
And she was still puzzled as he slipped her another note after class, before giving her a quick glance and hurrying off down the hallway. Hermione ducked into an empty hallway and unfolded the note:
"Meet me at 9- same place.
-Draco"
Hermione shoved the note into her pocket, taking off to class.
***
Draco's expression was one of anger when Hermione walked into the classroom that night. Hermione closed the door and stared at him, waiting for him to say something. Draco hopped off the table he was sitting on and walked over to her, shoving a small, black leather bound book at her, before slumping down into one of the chairs. Hermione eyed the book, and turned it over in her hands. She flipped open the cover, her breath catching in her throat. "The Diary of Felicity Dawson" was written in bubbly letter across the first page. "Draco..." "Read it." He snapped at her, not even looking up. Hermione flipped it to the first page, reading to herself.
Dear Diary,
I feel so horrible- well, what else is new? I just caught glimpse of Hermione Granger- Gryffindor. But, not only that, but I also caught a glimpse of Draco Malfoy, the one guy I've ever liked, checking her out. Life is a four letter word.
Dear Diary,
I ran into that Granger girl. What a prat. Me, being as thoughtful and nice as physically possible for a Slytherin, said a small "Oh, excuse me." But all I got in return was a nasty glare and a "Watch where you're going." I always thought she was nice- but if I had no friends- I'd be a bitch too.
Dear Diary,
My wish is coming true. Draco Malfoy actually asked me out. HE asked ME out. No joke. I was so stunned I could barely breathe. But, once again, I saw Granger. That girl has some nerve- either she's always PMSing or she just needs an attitude adjustment- either way, she's a bitch! I gave her a small POLITE smile in the hallway because I could barely contain my joy of Draco asking me out I would even smile to a mudblood Gryffindor bitch. So anyway, she glares at me again and purposely runs into me, casuing all my books to fall, and, even worse, when I bent down, Draco walked out of the classroom we'd been in and saw at leadst three other guys checking me out. He obviously thought I was some slut for letting them look at me like that, and he didn't even look at me before he walked away. Stupid Granger has to ruin everything.
Dear Diary,
You won't believe what I saw. Granger was staring at Draco all through class- giving him all these dreamy looks. Everytime I noticed her looking, she'd give me her usualFelicity Death Stare (FDS) and I've just look away, trying not to throw something at that bushy head of hers. Good thing I have Draco. Life seems to be looking up.
Hermione stopped reading for a moment, confused. "I don't understand." "She tried her hardest for you to accept her, Granger." Draco said, still not even looking up. Hermione was confused- why had he called her Granger again? He'd been calling her Hermione for the past week or so now. "I...I never knew." "Obviously." Draco said, finally looking up at her. "I'm still not getting the point here." "Read on."
Dear Diary,
With every FDS Granger shoots at me, it reminds me of how life used to be. Back when I lived with my parents. The teasing, the torture. I remember it- the kids in my neighborhood were all muggles, all of them thinking magic was just something parents made up to scare them. Of course though, I couldn't tell them it was real. They used to taunt me- it was horrible. I used to wear my hair in two braids, and they would make fun of me, calling me a "blow job with handle bars." We were only twelve and thirteen, but things like that were already becoming high-priorities. It hurt so bad, I remember I would get so mad that glasses would break, thunderstorms would roll in, and mirrors would crack. The kids made fun of me- calling me the "freak whore".
I remember when I first told my mom about it. My parents were divorced, and my step-dad was a dick. I remembered how mad he'd gotten when I'd told them they kids had called me a "whore" and a "blow job with handle bars". His eyes lit up, and he started screaming at me to watch my language. The FDS reminds me of the way his eyes looked as he would grab my arm- drag me into the bathroom to "wash my mouth out", but instead, he'd take off my shirt and pants, touching me. I never told anyone, because he never had sex with me. I figured I should let him do it- or he'll only do it more.
Now just looking at Granger makes me think of the pain he put me through- and inside me- I want her to know just how much it hurts.
"I...I don't know what to say." Hermione said, her voice barely a whisper. "Why are you angry at me?" "Don't you see, Granger?" Draco growled, standing up.
"You reminded her of her step-father and all of the horrible things he did to her. You put those bad thoughts back into her mind and made her feel like nothing again- making her feel like a failure for not getting you to like her."
"So you're blaming her suicide on me? You're fucking bloody crazy!"
"Granger, you dumb fuck! You don't realize what I am trying to say here. I always wondered why someone like Felicity was in Slytherin. She was too kind, too sensitive. I wondered why in the bloody world was she sensitive. Well, now we know. But it's too late now."
"I am still not following."
"She was sensitive to you- and everything you did. I read the entire thing, right down to the night she died. Each entry says something about you."
"So me just looking at her a certain way made her kill herself?"
Draco grabbed the diary from her hands, carefully tucking it away inside his robes. His usual Malfoy snarl came across his face as he pushed past Hermione and out the door. Hermione stood in shock, wondering what had just happened. Her heart was weighing on her like a ton of bricks- now blaming herself for Draco's pain. Her knees suddenly buckeled and she fell into the seat he had been sitting in, her mind racing. Tears fell from her eyes, and she buried her face in her hands, sobbing, "I'm sorry, Felicity," she whimpered to the empty room. "I'm sorry."
~*~
A bit confusing, but don't fret- it'll all come to view next chapter. And like I said, it will all start to look back up within the next 2 chappies. mmmkay?
sorry again- please keep reading and keep giving me suggestions like abc did- i welcome critisism and suggestions- so please, feel free!!!
sara
sorry- "abc" was right, it is getting boring and depressing, but don't worry- keep tuning in becuz I already know what happens (duh) and you guys will love it- trust me- it gets better.....
On with the next chapter....
PS: Sorry about the delay- i just got my computer fixed so now i promise to update more...
***
Hermione had been thinking about Draco all afternoon- her eyes constantly wandering about the room, her thoughts drifting away from the droning voice of Professor Snape. Potions class mainly consisted of taking huge portions of notes- but Hermione found herself doing otherwise. She had potions with the Slytherins, meaning her eyes were fixd on Draco the entire period. He looked up- noticing her stare. Hermione blushed and looked away, feeling humiliated. She was still puzzled about the way he'd confided in her, why he'd chosen a "flithy little mudblood" to spill his heart out to.
And she was still puzzled as he slipped her another note after class, before giving her a quick glance and hurrying off down the hallway. Hermione ducked into an empty hallway and unfolded the note:
"Meet me at 9- same place.
-Draco"
Hermione shoved the note into her pocket, taking off to class.
***
Draco's expression was one of anger when Hermione walked into the classroom that night. Hermione closed the door and stared at him, waiting for him to say something. Draco hopped off the table he was sitting on and walked over to her, shoving a small, black leather bound book at her, before slumping down into one of the chairs. Hermione eyed the book, and turned it over in her hands. She flipped open the cover, her breath catching in her throat. "The Diary of Felicity Dawson" was written in bubbly letter across the first page. "Draco..." "Read it." He snapped at her, not even looking up. Hermione flipped it to the first page, reading to herself.
Dear Diary,
I feel so horrible- well, what else is new? I just caught glimpse of Hermione Granger- Gryffindor. But, not only that, but I also caught a glimpse of Draco Malfoy, the one guy I've ever liked, checking her out. Life is a four letter word.
Dear Diary,
I ran into that Granger girl. What a prat. Me, being as thoughtful and nice as physically possible for a Slytherin, said a small "Oh, excuse me." But all I got in return was a nasty glare and a "Watch where you're going." I always thought she was nice- but if I had no friends- I'd be a bitch too.
Dear Diary,
My wish is coming true. Draco Malfoy actually asked me out. HE asked ME out. No joke. I was so stunned I could barely breathe. But, once again, I saw Granger. That girl has some nerve- either she's always PMSing or she just needs an attitude adjustment- either way, she's a bitch! I gave her a small POLITE smile in the hallway because I could barely contain my joy of Draco asking me out I would even smile to a mudblood Gryffindor bitch. So anyway, she glares at me again and purposely runs into me, casuing all my books to fall, and, even worse, when I bent down, Draco walked out of the classroom we'd been in and saw at leadst three other guys checking me out. He obviously thought I was some slut for letting them look at me like that, and he didn't even look at me before he walked away. Stupid Granger has to ruin everything.
Dear Diary,
You won't believe what I saw. Granger was staring at Draco all through class- giving him all these dreamy looks. Everytime I noticed her looking, she'd give me her usualFelicity Death Stare (FDS) and I've just look away, trying not to throw something at that bushy head of hers. Good thing I have Draco. Life seems to be looking up.
Hermione stopped reading for a moment, confused. "I don't understand." "She tried her hardest for you to accept her, Granger." Draco said, still not even looking up. Hermione was confused- why had he called her Granger again? He'd been calling her Hermione for the past week or so now. "I...I never knew." "Obviously." Draco said, finally looking up at her. "I'm still not getting the point here." "Read on."
Dear Diary,
With every FDS Granger shoots at me, it reminds me of how life used to be. Back when I lived with my parents. The teasing, the torture. I remember it- the kids in my neighborhood were all muggles, all of them thinking magic was just something parents made up to scare them. Of course though, I couldn't tell them it was real. They used to taunt me- it was horrible. I used to wear my hair in two braids, and they would make fun of me, calling me a "blow job with handle bars." We were only twelve and thirteen, but things like that were already becoming high-priorities. It hurt so bad, I remember I would get so mad that glasses would break, thunderstorms would roll in, and mirrors would crack. The kids made fun of me- calling me the "freak whore".
I remember when I first told my mom about it. My parents were divorced, and my step-dad was a dick. I remembered how mad he'd gotten when I'd told them they kids had called me a "whore" and a "blow job with handle bars". His eyes lit up, and he started screaming at me to watch my language. The FDS reminds me of the way his eyes looked as he would grab my arm- drag me into the bathroom to "wash my mouth out", but instead, he'd take off my shirt and pants, touching me. I never told anyone, because he never had sex with me. I figured I should let him do it- or he'll only do it more.
Now just looking at Granger makes me think of the pain he put me through- and inside me- I want her to know just how much it hurts.
"I...I don't know what to say." Hermione said, her voice barely a whisper. "Why are you angry at me?" "Don't you see, Granger?" Draco growled, standing up.
"You reminded her of her step-father and all of the horrible things he did to her. You put those bad thoughts back into her mind and made her feel like nothing again- making her feel like a failure for not getting you to like her."
"So you're blaming her suicide on me? You're fucking bloody crazy!"
"Granger, you dumb fuck! You don't realize what I am trying to say here. I always wondered why someone like Felicity was in Slytherin. She was too kind, too sensitive. I wondered why in the bloody world was she sensitive. Well, now we know. But it's too late now."
"I am still not following."
"She was sensitive to you- and everything you did. I read the entire thing, right down to the night she died. Each entry says something about you."
"So me just looking at her a certain way made her kill herself?"
Draco grabbed the diary from her hands, carefully tucking it away inside his robes. His usual Malfoy snarl came across his face as he pushed past Hermione and out the door. Hermione stood in shock, wondering what had just happened. Her heart was weighing on her like a ton of bricks- now blaming herself for Draco's pain. Her knees suddenly buckeled and she fell into the seat he had been sitting in, her mind racing. Tears fell from her eyes, and she buried her face in her hands, sobbing, "I'm sorry, Felicity," she whimpered to the empty room. "I'm sorry."
~*~
A bit confusing, but don't fret- it'll all come to view next chapter. And like I said, it will all start to look back up within the next 2 chappies. mmmkay?
sorry again- please keep reading and keep giving me suggestions like abc did- i welcome critisism and suggestions- so please, feel free!!!
sara