Chapter 2
A/N: I'm back, with chapter 2! Ok, I hope you all liked the first chapter, and I hope this one meets your expectations. So, without further ado, I will ask you to plow your way through the disclaimer and read!
Disclaimer: I do not lay claim to anything that belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own the plot; I own any characters you haven't seen before. Right. Anyways…
~Dream Sequence~
The room was dark, but not dark enough that you couldn't see anything, for the open window let the full moon's light in. A young woman with dark hair and grey eyes behind closed lids was sleeping peacefully, with a tiny bundle nestled in the crook of her arm. The woman had dark circles under her eyes, but her delivery was over, and she could rest. Just then, the door opened silently, and a tall man entered, blonde hair silvery in the moonlight, blue eyes soft, compassionate, and deeply sad.
Walking over to the bed where the sleeping figures lay, he knelt and reached out to the bundle. Moving the blanket ever so slightly, just enough so he could see the babe's face, he stared at the new- born boy. Slowly, his gaze drifted to the sleeping woman. Sighing softly, the man said, "I have to leave now, my love. I don't have a choice. If I stay, he'll surely come after you, and if I leave, it doesn't increase you're chance of survival by much." The grief in the young man's eyes was something you shouldn't have seen in someone his age. "I only want what's best for you. Losing you is more than I could bear, and now we have a son to protect. We are not strong enough to fight him, but I will do what I can." Reaching into his breast pocket, he pulled out a necklace. It was a lion, pure gold with a ruby mane and eyes. "This is my gift to you, my son. Professor Rikaya gave it to me when I last saw her. She said, 'it belongs to Racheal's family. How it got away from them is something we'll never know. Rightfully, it is her firstborn's.' So I give it to you now. I don't know what it is for, but it's yours, and I feel that it'll protect you." Running a long finger down the boy's innocent face, a single tear slipped down the man's face. He didn't want to let his son go. But there was no other way.
With the amulet clasped firmly about his son's neck, he turned to his beloved. "I don't know how I'm going to do this. I love you so much, but your life is in danger." Stroking her cheek, his tears came faster. "Don't forget that I love you. That is the most important thing." She stirred, but didn't wake. He pulled a long stemmed white rose, seemingly out of thin air, and laid it on her bedside table. Pulling out an envelope from his bag, he put the letter explaining everything beside the rose. Kissing the corner of his wife's mouth, and his son's tiny forehead, he stood.
As he started to walk out of the room, he stopped and remembered something. Turning, he walked back to the table, opened its drawer, and grabbed the musical water globe inside. Winding it up, he watched as a seedling seemed to sprout, and then grew, until a white rose, identical to the one he'd left the woman, floated in the water. Giving his family one last look, he turned and walked out. Before closing the door, he looked back, just once.
"Good-bye Racheal. Good-bye Leon. I love you both" And he left.
~ End Dream Sequence~
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Gasping, Lily woke up. Her cheeks felt cold. Reaching up to touch them, she realized they were wet with tears. She felt a grief so intense and so real it scared her. Not wanting to experience anything new tonight, and knowing she would if she went back to sleep, Lily decided anything would be better than this. And that included getting caught by Filch in the dead of night, wondering Hogwart's corridors.
Dressing, quickly and silently, and grabbing her cloak, she headed downstairs. Knowing her feet would lead her, not her mind, she tried to clear her thoughts. Trying to think about something happy wasn't working. Basically because she had nothing happy to think about. So, her thoughts drifted to her dream. *Who were they? Why did he have to leave? Why, in the name of all that is good, am I having these sleep-depriving dreams??*, she thought. It was confusing. The dream had meaning. It was more than just a dream, of that she was certain. Why else would she wake up grieving so badly it was almost a physical pain? The question was what would she do about it?
Her feet stopped. She was at the foot of the Astronomy Tower. *This is good. Unless there's someone having a private snogging session, this'll be a good place to think*, she thought. She started climbing. It was amazing how time went by when everything was so still and peaceful. When she got to the top, she leaned against the railing and just absorbed the scenery. The sickle moon gave off a small amount of silvery light. The stars above seemed brighter, and twinkled mischievously, as if they knew something she didn't. The lake was a reflection of the sky, and the forest seemed more haunted than usual. All in all, it was breathtaking.
A noise startled Lily out of her reverie. It sounded like a gasp. Turning sharply, she scanned the balcony. "Who's there?" she whispered, fearfully. No response. Breathing deeply, she began to turn back around, when right before her eyes', the last person she expected to see appeared out of no- where.
"James!" she gasped, almost falling with fright. "What…how…where did you come from??" She asked frantically.
"Relax, Lily," he replied amusedly. "It's just an Invisibility Cloak."
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James' POV:
I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about my mother. Throwing the covers back, I gave up. After trying for five hours and getting nowhere, I decided it was useless. It was another one of those nights. Dressing and snatching the Invisibility Cloak from its place in my trunk, I left the Tower, and headed to the place I always went when I couldn't sleep.
The Astronomy Tower.
I had always felt guilty about my mother's death. I mean, she had died while giving birth to me. When I told dad about my feelings, he said I was totally wrong and it wasn't my fault, but it didn't help much. Dad misses her; I can see it whenever he glances at a picture of her. I love my dad, and to see him in so much pain and loss make the feeling of guilt all the more pronounced.
I had reached the base of the Tower. Wondering fleetingly about what I would do if anyone were up there snogging, I quickly came up with a plan.~You're invisible,
James. Spooking them is the easiest and most entertaining way to get them away. Duh.~ I climbed slowly, still thinking about mother. The pictures I had seen of her showed she was beautiful. I had inherited her amazingly grey eyes. The only other thing I had of her was the amulet she had given me when I was born. That was it.
Finally reaching the top, I realized I was not alone. Only, the person wasn't there with someone, but doing the same thing I was. Thinking. How she couldn't be here *with* someone was beyond me, because she was nothing short of beautiful. Red hair shimmered in what little moon-and-starlight there was. Emerald eyes were misty and distant, looking up at the sky. She was wearing a beautiful cloak, with stars and moons embroidered all over it. The cloth looked soft and warm. When I realized who it was, I couldn't help but gasp in shock.
For who could have known Lily Evans could look like a fallen angel?
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Present, Third Person
"James Potter, you scared the life out of me!" she hissed. ~Or, you scared what's left of it away. . .~ she thought.
He actually looked guilty. "Sorry Lily. I always come up here wearing the invisibility cloak. If anyone else but you had been up here, I would have scared them off," he said to her. ~Should I feel special?~, she thought sarcastically, but didn't say anything. He had started to look out over the grounds, and saw the exact same thing she had. However, when he turned to her and spoke, it was not about the scenery.
"So. Lily," he started. "What brings you up here?" As usual, he didn't hesitate to ask.
"I could ask you the same question," she replied coolly, not wanting to tell him of her dreams.
"That's a fair response," James observed. "I-," but he was cut off, because they both heard the last thing either of them wanted to hear: Filch coming up the stairs.
"Oh no, oh no, oh no. . ." Lily started panicking. James, however, being the Marauder that he was, acted calmly and fast. He pulled Lily after him into a corner, and threw the invisibility cloak over both of them. Since Lily couldn't seem to contain her 'oh no's', he clamped a hand over her mouth. Bringing his lips close to her ear, he whispered, "Shhhhh. . ." and then was still.
Filch was staring around the balcony, muttering, "I know you're here. . . come on out," and so forth. Lily hardly dared to breath. Which wasn't too hard, since James's hand was cutting off half of her oxygen supply. Breathing slowly, and she hoped quietly, through her nose, she caught the scent of after- shave and shampoo that came from James. He was close. . . too close. ~God, hurry up and leave already, Filch!! I'm getting comfortable. . .~, she thought. She did *not* want to get comfortable, not in this position.
Finally, after what seemed an eternity, Filch turned to leave. When he was out of eyesight, Lily started to move. James tightened his grip on her, and whispered, so close to her ear she could feel his lips, "Shhhh. . . he's not gone yet." He caught the scent of her hair, which was a mixture of herbs, and her lips were soft against his hand. ~Whoa, James. Don't get caught in the moment~, he thought. After waiting another five minutes, James lifted his hand from her mouth, and she sucked in a grateful breath. Putting a finger to his lips, he motioned her to stay still. Checking every corner, he made sure Filch was gone.
"Ok. Well, now that he's gone, you can stop panicking, Lily," he told her teasingly. "He's gone. Trust me," he said again when she shot him a skeptical look. Since she had no other choice, she did the only thing that made since to her: lean against the rail and think some more. ~Wonder why he's up here. . .~, she thought.
James had walked to the opposite side of the tower and was gazing distantly at nothing in particular. Just going over everything his dad had ever told him about his mother. ~She was beautiful~, he had said once. ~When she walked into the room, it felt like everything would be ok, even if it were just for a moment. She was so loving. . . I know she loves you so much, wherever she is right now.~ That had been when James had figured out that his dad refused to believe death was complete annihilation. It had rubbed off on James, too. Whenever he came out here to think, about anything, he would always look up at the sky. Every time he did, one star alone would catch his eye. It wasn't a big star, but it was always shining and always there, no matter what the season. He felt that this star was his mother's soul must've looked like, always there, always giving off warmth and love. ~Help me, mother~, he pleaded silently. ~Everything seems to be changing, and I can't find anything different~. Except that he was up in the Astronomy Tower, with Lily. That was new.
She had been completely silent since Filch had left. Glancing at her, he saw that she was staring in the general direction of the lake. "So. . .do you wanna talk?" he asked. She jumped slightly. "Oops. I forgot you were there. . . Sure, we can talk. But about what, exactly?" she asked in turn.
"Oh, I dunno, anything that seems reasonable and is safe," he answered. "Ok. . ." Lily started but didn't finish. What could *they* talk about? Come on, it was *James* and *Lily*. The two had never talked. . . Guess there's a first time for everything.
Racking her brain for a topic, Lily decided to settle on the obvious. "What are you doing up here?" she asked. Sound familiar?
Grinning at her, he said, mockingly, "I could ask you the same question."
Still serious as ever, she told him, "I'm not sure I could tell you why I'm up here. For two reasons." Once more, James noticed the sad expression flit across her face. "Firstly," she continued, "I'm not too sure I can trust you. Second, I don't understand what's happening to me anymore than the next person." Well. That sounded reasonable.
"Ok. Could you at least give me the tiniest answer? You can make it as vague as you want. I promise not to ask questions," James tried. She gave him a small smile, but it didn't reach her eyes by a long shot. "Persistent, aren't you?" she told him, and smiled a little wider as he nodded his head vigorously, appearing eager for an answer. "I dream. A lot. Really, *really*, weird dreams." And that was all she gave him.
~Way to kill my curiosity, Lily~, he thought sarcastically. ~Now I really want to know why you're up here.~ But he had promised, and he knew she wouldn't tell him anyway. So, he just continued the convo. "I couldn't sleep," he started. "I was thinking about. . . my mother." Unlike her, he trusted her, despite the fact that he hardly knew her and didn't know why. ~After all~, he rationalized, ~who's she going to tell anyway? She told me herself no one talked to her.~
"What about your mother?" she prompted gently. James sighed and slid to the floor. "She died when I was born. More to the point, she died giving birth to me." Dejectedly, he told her his story, short though it was. "The only thing I have of her are her eyes and an amulet she gave me as soon as I was born. I feel guilty about it, and about the pain her death caused my dad. He and I are really close, because we don't have anyone else, not family-wise. Seeing him hurt whenever he looks at a picture of her kills me. I always think, 'if I'd never been born, he would still be happy.' My life's not all it's cracked up to be, though very few people know or understand that. I never knew my own mother. Dad says she loved me, and I believe him, but it doesn't change the fact that she's gone." He was trying awfully hard not to cry in front of Lily.
"Have you ever cried for her? Willingly?" she asked, so quietly he almost missed it. Thinking, he said, "No. . .I don't think I have." She was surprised, because he obviously ached for his mother, but she didn't say anything, except for, "Then cry, James. Grieving helps, and she wouldn't want you to dwell on it forever. If she loved you, she'd want you to live your life to the fullest." At that, the dam he'd built to stop the pain broke. Sobs ripped themselves from his chest as he thought about what might have been, what should have been. Lily laid a comforting hand on his shoulder as he let it all go, but she was caught up in her on memories.
His 'story' reminded her of how she felt when her grandmamma had died. Lost, guilty, and so sad. She probably would've done what he had done: shut it all out, block out all the pain. But she couldn't. Maybe it was because she hadn't had anyone to comfort her. He did. And he probably didn't even know how lucky he was. So, she decided to inform him, and see what he thought.
"You're lucky, you know," she started, not looking at him. "You know that she loved you. You've got your dad, and you've got great friends who will stick to your side like flies, even when you don't want them. Don't take it for granted, James. I wish I had what you have. It would've made it so much easier." He had stopped crying by now and was looking intently at her.
"Made what so much easier?" he asked. She glanced at him, and saw something that shocked her. His tear-streaked face was lit by what little light they had. His featured were thrown into shadow, and he looked both handsome and vulnerable at the same time. It made her knees go weak. . . ~No~, she told herself. ~It's nothing.~ Shaking off the weird mood, she stood. Walking over to the railing, she told him, "The death of my grandmamma."
"Wanna tell me about it?" James asked quietly. "Why not?" Lily said forcefully, grief making her temper sharp. "It happened 6 years ago." Realizing what she said, she winced. ~That was totally uncalled for, and you know it!~, she chastised herself.
"That makes no difference. We both know that." Obviously, James hadn't taken her remark personally. Knowing he was right, and that she owed him something for spilling his guts to her, she started, haltingly. "It. . . it was somewhere around the time I had gotten my letter, and found out I was a witch. My parents' relationship had become very. . .unstable. My sister, who was sixteen at the time, had just started dating this guy named Vernon Dursley, and wasn't seen at home much. I. . .I started to feel left out, and lonely, but. . . but she was always there. I know it sounds cheesy, but she made me chocolate chip cookies, and told me stories about herself, and old tales, and went shopping with me. I was. . . free around her. Her house was more home than my parents' place would or ever will be. " Lily was starting to cry now, forcing the words through her constricted throat. "She. . . she gave me this cloak. . . for my 11th birthday." She was crying her heart out now. "Three days. . . after that, I was told that. . . that she had died." Collapsing onto the floor, she pulled the cloak around her tighter. "My only. . . solace was gone. My parents' relationship had gotten. . . so bad that . . . that they had to go into marriage counseling. Petunia started bringing Vernon. . . home, and we hated each. . . each other from the beginning." James hadn't expected this, but he didn't stop her. Instead, he got up from where he had been sitting, and sat beside her. Hesitantly, he put his arms around her, praying she wouldn't push him away. She didn't.
"School was no better. I was shy, and didn't make friends. . . easily, because trust had become. . . hard. When no one accepted me. . . I gave up. On. . .everything. What. . .what was the point? They didn't understand; they didn't want to. I. . . buried myself in my schoolwork, and. . .and here I am! Crying my eyes out because the one person who ever cared is gone!" And the tears flowed harder.
~Oh my God! I had no idea. . . I can't believe no one has ever tried to get to know her! She's so compassionate, and caring, and strong. I couldn't have done that. . . I would've killed myself.~ This was what James was thinking as Lily sobbed into his chest. Pulling her closer, he stroked her hair comfortingly, and murmured to her that it would be all right. . .
Eventually, she calmed down. When she had stopped crying, she didn't move, and he wasn't going to push her away. Not now. But, all good things must come to an end, or at least, that's what James thought. She pulled away, blushing, and muttered, "Thanks," before turning away. "Anytime. . . just let me know," he told her quietly. Startled, she turned to face him again. "What. . . what are you saying, James?" she asked cautiously.
Smiling, James told her, "You've just helped me through one of the worst, and yet best, nights of my life. You helped me understand what my mother wanted for me, and how lucky I am. You showed me a side of me I didn't know I had. Do you honestly think I'm going to let you get away without my friendship? Think again." His smile turned into the grin that had melted 99.9% of the female population's hearts, as he said, "Lily Evans, you've just gained yourself a friend."
To say the least, she was shocked. "You . . . you're not joking? This isn't some dare? You're serious?" James lost the grin, and he looked her in her eyes, those beautiful green eyes, and told her, "I don't joke about my mother, Lily. Not even *Sirius* could do what you've done for me. I mean it. I want to be your friend, Lily." ~Well~, Lily thought, her eyes lighting up for the first time in who-knows-how-long, ~when he puts it that way, I guess he is serious.~
"All. . . all right." And she smiled at him, a true smile that reached her eyes. James couldn't help but suck in his breath. ~She's beautiful when she smiles. She really ought to do it more often.~ They lapsed into silence, but it was a comfortable one. Lily started singing. It was a song she sang often to herself, but she didn't know why. She guessed it just fit.
~ There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over
And over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to me over and over again
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray
To be only yours
And I know now, you're my only hope.
Sing to me the song of the stars
Of your galaxy laughing and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you had for me
Over again
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray
To be only yours
And I know now, you're my only hope.
I give you my destiny
I'm giving you all of me
I want your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs
I'm giving it back
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray
To be only yours
I pray
To be only yours
And I know now, you're my only hope ~
James was stunned. That was the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard in his life. "Lily, has anyone ever told you that you have an awesome voice?" He was still shocked that what he'd heard had come from a girl who was so troubled, and that the singer was human.
She smiled sadly. "Yeah. My Grandmamma. I sang for her once, when she was sick." Her eyes were dull again, and it was driving him crazy.
"Lily, as your friend, I'm taking it upon myself to make sure you smile more often, k?" he told her, walking up behind her. "What do you mean, James?" she asked, turning around. He grinned wickedly at her. "I mean, I'll do whatever it takes to make you happier than you are now." And with that, he started tickling her mercilessly. She squealed and tried to get away from him, but he was too strong. "James. . . James, stop it, please!" she begged him, laughing. Her sides were beginning to ache; she wasn't used to this.
James heard her laughter, and thought it sounded like silver chimes in the wind. He sat down, pulling her with him, and she ended up in his lap. He was still tickling her, and was beginning to laugh at how hard she tried to get away from him. Stopping, he looked at her, and saw that her eyes were once again sparkling. "Good," he told her, smiling. "And I'll do it again if you get to depressing."
For the first time in forever, Lily giggled. "I've never laughed so hard in my life," she told him. James stared at her like she was crazy. "Never *laughed* so hard?" he asked incredulously, while she nodded. "Well, Lily m'dear," he started, "If you're to be friends with a Marauder, that will have to change, wont it?" They both laughed.
Just over the edge of the horizon, the sun started to come up. "Oh my gosh James!!" Lily said frantically. Looking at her watch, she said, "It's friggin 6:45! We've got to get back to the common room!"
"Holy -! Come on!!" Grabbing her hand, James pulled Lily after him down the stairs. Remembering they weren't supposed to be there, he threw the Invisibility Cloak over them both, and they hurried off to their common room, and then to their respective dorms. Both were happier than either had been in a while, glad that they'd found a new friend in each other.
All- righty, ppls! That was chapter 2! I'm halfway through with chapter 3, so it should be out in no less than 2 days. I hope this chapter was ok. . . If I'm going to fast, please let me know. Constructive criticism is welcomed, even asked for! This fic *isn't* love/hate, but I'm thinking of putting some deception in. I haven't decided yet.
I don't own the song; Mandy Moore sings it, and as you probably already know, it's from 'A Walk To Remember'. I love that movie!
A thank you to all my reviewers!! I can't believe some of you were so enthusiastic about it; thanx so much!!
Angelina- Thanks!
Hermione101888- Thank you, and I'll do my best to update often. I'm too greedy to share my chocolate. . . lol. Hope u liked the second chapter!
MonkeyGurl1- Thank you!
girlx()- thank you. About James's eyes. . . in this story, they're going to be grey, just because it fits. I hope you don't mind too much. And I know the spelling of 'grey' is wrong, but that's just how I am.
SprtieBabe- Thank you! I needed that boost of confidence, and I hope I don't disappoint you.
Little House Girl- Thank you, and I will!
siri's girl()- A very enthusiastic response. . . thanks so much!! I have a habit of going into detail; it's how I get through my LA class. Chocolate is the BEST; I could definitely live off of it!!
Grim Wolf- Thank you! Oh, btw, I like ur pen-name!
A/N: I'm back, with chapter 2! Ok, I hope you all liked the first chapter, and I hope this one meets your expectations. So, without further ado, I will ask you to plow your way through the disclaimer and read!
Disclaimer: I do not lay claim to anything that belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own the plot; I own any characters you haven't seen before. Right. Anyways…
~Dream Sequence~
The room was dark, but not dark enough that you couldn't see anything, for the open window let the full moon's light in. A young woman with dark hair and grey eyes behind closed lids was sleeping peacefully, with a tiny bundle nestled in the crook of her arm. The woman had dark circles under her eyes, but her delivery was over, and she could rest. Just then, the door opened silently, and a tall man entered, blonde hair silvery in the moonlight, blue eyes soft, compassionate, and deeply sad.
Walking over to the bed where the sleeping figures lay, he knelt and reached out to the bundle. Moving the blanket ever so slightly, just enough so he could see the babe's face, he stared at the new- born boy. Slowly, his gaze drifted to the sleeping woman. Sighing softly, the man said, "I have to leave now, my love. I don't have a choice. If I stay, he'll surely come after you, and if I leave, it doesn't increase you're chance of survival by much." The grief in the young man's eyes was something you shouldn't have seen in someone his age. "I only want what's best for you. Losing you is more than I could bear, and now we have a son to protect. We are not strong enough to fight him, but I will do what I can." Reaching into his breast pocket, he pulled out a necklace. It was a lion, pure gold with a ruby mane and eyes. "This is my gift to you, my son. Professor Rikaya gave it to me when I last saw her. She said, 'it belongs to Racheal's family. How it got away from them is something we'll never know. Rightfully, it is her firstborn's.' So I give it to you now. I don't know what it is for, but it's yours, and I feel that it'll protect you." Running a long finger down the boy's innocent face, a single tear slipped down the man's face. He didn't want to let his son go. But there was no other way.
With the amulet clasped firmly about his son's neck, he turned to his beloved. "I don't know how I'm going to do this. I love you so much, but your life is in danger." Stroking her cheek, his tears came faster. "Don't forget that I love you. That is the most important thing." She stirred, but didn't wake. He pulled a long stemmed white rose, seemingly out of thin air, and laid it on her bedside table. Pulling out an envelope from his bag, he put the letter explaining everything beside the rose. Kissing the corner of his wife's mouth, and his son's tiny forehead, he stood.
As he started to walk out of the room, he stopped and remembered something. Turning, he walked back to the table, opened its drawer, and grabbed the musical water globe inside. Winding it up, he watched as a seedling seemed to sprout, and then grew, until a white rose, identical to the one he'd left the woman, floated in the water. Giving his family one last look, he turned and walked out. Before closing the door, he looked back, just once.
"Good-bye Racheal. Good-bye Leon. I love you both" And he left.
~ End Dream Sequence~
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Gasping, Lily woke up. Her cheeks felt cold. Reaching up to touch them, she realized they were wet with tears. She felt a grief so intense and so real it scared her. Not wanting to experience anything new tonight, and knowing she would if she went back to sleep, Lily decided anything would be better than this. And that included getting caught by Filch in the dead of night, wondering Hogwart's corridors.
Dressing, quickly and silently, and grabbing her cloak, she headed downstairs. Knowing her feet would lead her, not her mind, she tried to clear her thoughts. Trying to think about something happy wasn't working. Basically because she had nothing happy to think about. So, her thoughts drifted to her dream. *Who were they? Why did he have to leave? Why, in the name of all that is good, am I having these sleep-depriving dreams??*, she thought. It was confusing. The dream had meaning. It was more than just a dream, of that she was certain. Why else would she wake up grieving so badly it was almost a physical pain? The question was what would she do about it?
Her feet stopped. She was at the foot of the Astronomy Tower. *This is good. Unless there's someone having a private snogging session, this'll be a good place to think*, she thought. She started climbing. It was amazing how time went by when everything was so still and peaceful. When she got to the top, she leaned against the railing and just absorbed the scenery. The sickle moon gave off a small amount of silvery light. The stars above seemed brighter, and twinkled mischievously, as if they knew something she didn't. The lake was a reflection of the sky, and the forest seemed more haunted than usual. All in all, it was breathtaking.
A noise startled Lily out of her reverie. It sounded like a gasp. Turning sharply, she scanned the balcony. "Who's there?" she whispered, fearfully. No response. Breathing deeply, she began to turn back around, when right before her eyes', the last person she expected to see appeared out of no- where.
"James!" she gasped, almost falling with fright. "What…how…where did you come from??" She asked frantically.
"Relax, Lily," he replied amusedly. "It's just an Invisibility Cloak."
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James' POV:
I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about my mother. Throwing the covers back, I gave up. After trying for five hours and getting nowhere, I decided it was useless. It was another one of those nights. Dressing and snatching the Invisibility Cloak from its place in my trunk, I left the Tower, and headed to the place I always went when I couldn't sleep.
The Astronomy Tower.
I had always felt guilty about my mother's death. I mean, she had died while giving birth to me. When I told dad about my feelings, he said I was totally wrong and it wasn't my fault, but it didn't help much. Dad misses her; I can see it whenever he glances at a picture of her. I love my dad, and to see him in so much pain and loss make the feeling of guilt all the more pronounced.
I had reached the base of the Tower. Wondering fleetingly about what I would do if anyone were up there snogging, I quickly came up with a plan.~You're invisible,
James. Spooking them is the easiest and most entertaining way to get them away. Duh.~ I climbed slowly, still thinking about mother. The pictures I had seen of her showed she was beautiful. I had inherited her amazingly grey eyes. The only other thing I had of her was the amulet she had given me when I was born. That was it.
Finally reaching the top, I realized I was not alone. Only, the person wasn't there with someone, but doing the same thing I was. Thinking. How she couldn't be here *with* someone was beyond me, because she was nothing short of beautiful. Red hair shimmered in what little moon-and-starlight there was. Emerald eyes were misty and distant, looking up at the sky. She was wearing a beautiful cloak, with stars and moons embroidered all over it. The cloth looked soft and warm. When I realized who it was, I couldn't help but gasp in shock.
For who could have known Lily Evans could look like a fallen angel?
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Present, Third Person
"James Potter, you scared the life out of me!" she hissed. ~Or, you scared what's left of it away. . .~ she thought.
He actually looked guilty. "Sorry Lily. I always come up here wearing the invisibility cloak. If anyone else but you had been up here, I would have scared them off," he said to her. ~Should I feel special?~, she thought sarcastically, but didn't say anything. He had started to look out over the grounds, and saw the exact same thing she had. However, when he turned to her and spoke, it was not about the scenery.
"So. Lily," he started. "What brings you up here?" As usual, he didn't hesitate to ask.
"I could ask you the same question," she replied coolly, not wanting to tell him of her dreams.
"That's a fair response," James observed. "I-," but he was cut off, because they both heard the last thing either of them wanted to hear: Filch coming up the stairs.
"Oh no, oh no, oh no. . ." Lily started panicking. James, however, being the Marauder that he was, acted calmly and fast. He pulled Lily after him into a corner, and threw the invisibility cloak over both of them. Since Lily couldn't seem to contain her 'oh no's', he clamped a hand over her mouth. Bringing his lips close to her ear, he whispered, "Shhhhh. . ." and then was still.
Filch was staring around the balcony, muttering, "I know you're here. . . come on out," and so forth. Lily hardly dared to breath. Which wasn't too hard, since James's hand was cutting off half of her oxygen supply. Breathing slowly, and she hoped quietly, through her nose, she caught the scent of after- shave and shampoo that came from James. He was close. . . too close. ~God, hurry up and leave already, Filch!! I'm getting comfortable. . .~, she thought. She did *not* want to get comfortable, not in this position.
Finally, after what seemed an eternity, Filch turned to leave. When he was out of eyesight, Lily started to move. James tightened his grip on her, and whispered, so close to her ear she could feel his lips, "Shhhh. . . he's not gone yet." He caught the scent of her hair, which was a mixture of herbs, and her lips were soft against his hand. ~Whoa, James. Don't get caught in the moment~, he thought. After waiting another five minutes, James lifted his hand from her mouth, and she sucked in a grateful breath. Putting a finger to his lips, he motioned her to stay still. Checking every corner, he made sure Filch was gone.
"Ok. Well, now that he's gone, you can stop panicking, Lily," he told her teasingly. "He's gone. Trust me," he said again when she shot him a skeptical look. Since she had no other choice, she did the only thing that made since to her: lean against the rail and think some more. ~Wonder why he's up here. . .~, she thought.
James had walked to the opposite side of the tower and was gazing distantly at nothing in particular. Just going over everything his dad had ever told him about his mother. ~She was beautiful~, he had said once. ~When she walked into the room, it felt like everything would be ok, even if it were just for a moment. She was so loving. . . I know she loves you so much, wherever she is right now.~ That had been when James had figured out that his dad refused to believe death was complete annihilation. It had rubbed off on James, too. Whenever he came out here to think, about anything, he would always look up at the sky. Every time he did, one star alone would catch his eye. It wasn't a big star, but it was always shining and always there, no matter what the season. He felt that this star was his mother's soul must've looked like, always there, always giving off warmth and love. ~Help me, mother~, he pleaded silently. ~Everything seems to be changing, and I can't find anything different~. Except that he was up in the Astronomy Tower, with Lily. That was new.
She had been completely silent since Filch had left. Glancing at her, he saw that she was staring in the general direction of the lake. "So. . .do you wanna talk?" he asked. She jumped slightly. "Oops. I forgot you were there. . . Sure, we can talk. But about what, exactly?" she asked in turn.
"Oh, I dunno, anything that seems reasonable and is safe," he answered. "Ok. . ." Lily started but didn't finish. What could *they* talk about? Come on, it was *James* and *Lily*. The two had never talked. . . Guess there's a first time for everything.
Racking her brain for a topic, Lily decided to settle on the obvious. "What are you doing up here?" she asked. Sound familiar?
Grinning at her, he said, mockingly, "I could ask you the same question."
Still serious as ever, she told him, "I'm not sure I could tell you why I'm up here. For two reasons." Once more, James noticed the sad expression flit across her face. "Firstly," she continued, "I'm not too sure I can trust you. Second, I don't understand what's happening to me anymore than the next person." Well. That sounded reasonable.
"Ok. Could you at least give me the tiniest answer? You can make it as vague as you want. I promise not to ask questions," James tried. She gave him a small smile, but it didn't reach her eyes by a long shot. "Persistent, aren't you?" she told him, and smiled a little wider as he nodded his head vigorously, appearing eager for an answer. "I dream. A lot. Really, *really*, weird dreams." And that was all she gave him.
~Way to kill my curiosity, Lily~, he thought sarcastically. ~Now I really want to know why you're up here.~ But he had promised, and he knew she wouldn't tell him anyway. So, he just continued the convo. "I couldn't sleep," he started. "I was thinking about. . . my mother." Unlike her, he trusted her, despite the fact that he hardly knew her and didn't know why. ~After all~, he rationalized, ~who's she going to tell anyway? She told me herself no one talked to her.~
"What about your mother?" she prompted gently. James sighed and slid to the floor. "She died when I was born. More to the point, she died giving birth to me." Dejectedly, he told her his story, short though it was. "The only thing I have of her are her eyes and an amulet she gave me as soon as I was born. I feel guilty about it, and about the pain her death caused my dad. He and I are really close, because we don't have anyone else, not family-wise. Seeing him hurt whenever he looks at a picture of her kills me. I always think, 'if I'd never been born, he would still be happy.' My life's not all it's cracked up to be, though very few people know or understand that. I never knew my own mother. Dad says she loved me, and I believe him, but it doesn't change the fact that she's gone." He was trying awfully hard not to cry in front of Lily.
"Have you ever cried for her? Willingly?" she asked, so quietly he almost missed it. Thinking, he said, "No. . .I don't think I have." She was surprised, because he obviously ached for his mother, but she didn't say anything, except for, "Then cry, James. Grieving helps, and she wouldn't want you to dwell on it forever. If she loved you, she'd want you to live your life to the fullest." At that, the dam he'd built to stop the pain broke. Sobs ripped themselves from his chest as he thought about what might have been, what should have been. Lily laid a comforting hand on his shoulder as he let it all go, but she was caught up in her on memories.
His 'story' reminded her of how she felt when her grandmamma had died. Lost, guilty, and so sad. She probably would've done what he had done: shut it all out, block out all the pain. But she couldn't. Maybe it was because she hadn't had anyone to comfort her. He did. And he probably didn't even know how lucky he was. So, she decided to inform him, and see what he thought.
"You're lucky, you know," she started, not looking at him. "You know that she loved you. You've got your dad, and you've got great friends who will stick to your side like flies, even when you don't want them. Don't take it for granted, James. I wish I had what you have. It would've made it so much easier." He had stopped crying by now and was looking intently at her.
"Made what so much easier?" he asked. She glanced at him, and saw something that shocked her. His tear-streaked face was lit by what little light they had. His featured were thrown into shadow, and he looked both handsome and vulnerable at the same time. It made her knees go weak. . . ~No~, she told herself. ~It's nothing.~ Shaking off the weird mood, she stood. Walking over to the railing, she told him, "The death of my grandmamma."
"Wanna tell me about it?" James asked quietly. "Why not?" Lily said forcefully, grief making her temper sharp. "It happened 6 years ago." Realizing what she said, she winced. ~That was totally uncalled for, and you know it!~, she chastised herself.
"That makes no difference. We both know that." Obviously, James hadn't taken her remark personally. Knowing he was right, and that she owed him something for spilling his guts to her, she started, haltingly. "It. . . it was somewhere around the time I had gotten my letter, and found out I was a witch. My parents' relationship had become very. . .unstable. My sister, who was sixteen at the time, had just started dating this guy named Vernon Dursley, and wasn't seen at home much. I. . .I started to feel left out, and lonely, but. . . but she was always there. I know it sounds cheesy, but she made me chocolate chip cookies, and told me stories about herself, and old tales, and went shopping with me. I was. . . free around her. Her house was more home than my parents' place would or ever will be. " Lily was starting to cry now, forcing the words through her constricted throat. "She. . . she gave me this cloak. . . for my 11th birthday." She was crying her heart out now. "Three days. . . after that, I was told that. . . that she had died." Collapsing onto the floor, she pulled the cloak around her tighter. "My only. . . solace was gone. My parents' relationship had gotten. . . so bad that . . . that they had to go into marriage counseling. Petunia started bringing Vernon. . . home, and we hated each. . . each other from the beginning." James hadn't expected this, but he didn't stop her. Instead, he got up from where he had been sitting, and sat beside her. Hesitantly, he put his arms around her, praying she wouldn't push him away. She didn't.
"School was no better. I was shy, and didn't make friends. . . easily, because trust had become. . . hard. When no one accepted me. . . I gave up. On. . .everything. What. . .what was the point? They didn't understand; they didn't want to. I. . . buried myself in my schoolwork, and. . .and here I am! Crying my eyes out because the one person who ever cared is gone!" And the tears flowed harder.
~Oh my God! I had no idea. . . I can't believe no one has ever tried to get to know her! She's so compassionate, and caring, and strong. I couldn't have done that. . . I would've killed myself.~ This was what James was thinking as Lily sobbed into his chest. Pulling her closer, he stroked her hair comfortingly, and murmured to her that it would be all right. . .
Eventually, she calmed down. When she had stopped crying, she didn't move, and he wasn't going to push her away. Not now. But, all good things must come to an end, or at least, that's what James thought. She pulled away, blushing, and muttered, "Thanks," before turning away. "Anytime. . . just let me know," he told her quietly. Startled, she turned to face him again. "What. . . what are you saying, James?" she asked cautiously.
Smiling, James told her, "You've just helped me through one of the worst, and yet best, nights of my life. You helped me understand what my mother wanted for me, and how lucky I am. You showed me a side of me I didn't know I had. Do you honestly think I'm going to let you get away without my friendship? Think again." His smile turned into the grin that had melted 99.9% of the female population's hearts, as he said, "Lily Evans, you've just gained yourself a friend."
To say the least, she was shocked. "You . . . you're not joking? This isn't some dare? You're serious?" James lost the grin, and he looked her in her eyes, those beautiful green eyes, and told her, "I don't joke about my mother, Lily. Not even *Sirius* could do what you've done for me. I mean it. I want to be your friend, Lily." ~Well~, Lily thought, her eyes lighting up for the first time in who-knows-how-long, ~when he puts it that way, I guess he is serious.~
"All. . . all right." And she smiled at him, a true smile that reached her eyes. James couldn't help but suck in his breath. ~She's beautiful when she smiles. She really ought to do it more often.~ They lapsed into silence, but it was a comfortable one. Lily started singing. It was a song she sang often to herself, but she didn't know why. She guessed it just fit.
~ There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over
And over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to me over and over again
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray
To be only yours
And I know now, you're my only hope.
Sing to me the song of the stars
Of your galaxy laughing and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you had for me
Over again
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray
To be only yours
And I know now, you're my only hope.
I give you my destiny
I'm giving you all of me
I want your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs
I'm giving it back
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray
To be only yours
I pray
To be only yours
And I know now, you're my only hope ~
James was stunned. That was the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard in his life. "Lily, has anyone ever told you that you have an awesome voice?" He was still shocked that what he'd heard had come from a girl who was so troubled, and that the singer was human.
She smiled sadly. "Yeah. My Grandmamma. I sang for her once, when she was sick." Her eyes were dull again, and it was driving him crazy.
"Lily, as your friend, I'm taking it upon myself to make sure you smile more often, k?" he told her, walking up behind her. "What do you mean, James?" she asked, turning around. He grinned wickedly at her. "I mean, I'll do whatever it takes to make you happier than you are now." And with that, he started tickling her mercilessly. She squealed and tried to get away from him, but he was too strong. "James. . . James, stop it, please!" she begged him, laughing. Her sides were beginning to ache; she wasn't used to this.
James heard her laughter, and thought it sounded like silver chimes in the wind. He sat down, pulling her with him, and she ended up in his lap. He was still tickling her, and was beginning to laugh at how hard she tried to get away from him. Stopping, he looked at her, and saw that her eyes were once again sparkling. "Good," he told her, smiling. "And I'll do it again if you get to depressing."
For the first time in forever, Lily giggled. "I've never laughed so hard in my life," she told him. James stared at her like she was crazy. "Never *laughed* so hard?" he asked incredulously, while she nodded. "Well, Lily m'dear," he started, "If you're to be friends with a Marauder, that will have to change, wont it?" They both laughed.
Just over the edge of the horizon, the sun started to come up. "Oh my gosh James!!" Lily said frantically. Looking at her watch, she said, "It's friggin 6:45! We've got to get back to the common room!"
"Holy -! Come on!!" Grabbing her hand, James pulled Lily after him down the stairs. Remembering they weren't supposed to be there, he threw the Invisibility Cloak over them both, and they hurried off to their common room, and then to their respective dorms. Both were happier than either had been in a while, glad that they'd found a new friend in each other.
All- righty, ppls! That was chapter 2! I'm halfway through with chapter 3, so it should be out in no less than 2 days. I hope this chapter was ok. . . If I'm going to fast, please let me know. Constructive criticism is welcomed, even asked for! This fic *isn't* love/hate, but I'm thinking of putting some deception in. I haven't decided yet.
I don't own the song; Mandy Moore sings it, and as you probably already know, it's from 'A Walk To Remember'. I love that movie!
A thank you to all my reviewers!! I can't believe some of you were so enthusiastic about it; thanx so much!!
Angelina- Thanks!
Hermione101888- Thank you, and I'll do my best to update often. I'm too greedy to share my chocolate. . . lol. Hope u liked the second chapter!
MonkeyGurl1- Thank you!
girlx()- thank you. About James's eyes. . . in this story, they're going to be grey, just because it fits. I hope you don't mind too much. And I know the spelling of 'grey' is wrong, but that's just how I am.
SprtieBabe- Thank you! I needed that boost of confidence, and I hope I don't disappoint you.
Little House Girl- Thank you, and I will!
siri's girl()- A very enthusiastic response. . . thanks so much!! I have a habit of going into detail; it's how I get through my LA class. Chocolate is the BEST; I could definitely live off of it!!
Grim Wolf- Thank you! Oh, btw, I like ur pen-name!