Thanks for all the encouragement with this! Disclaimers all apply!!
*****************
"Lorelai, we need to talk..." Luke's voice boomed sadly. Forebodingly.
His mouth moved after that, but all she heard was a frightening silence and the sound of her heart beat reverberating in her ears loudly.
"Lorelai, I'm so sorry, I know this sounds bad... I still want you to come by... Everday. I would really love it if you came by everyday.... please say something. For once, I'm begging you, talk..."
"No, Luke, I understand. Nicole doesn't want me around. And you want to start a family with her. I.. I completely understand. It's.. it's fine. I, um, I just remembered, Sookie wanted to see me before she went to bed. Business."
"No, Lorelai, please---"
"Luke, I'm okay. Really," she lied, smiling sweetly.
"You didn't even finish your coff----"
"That stuff's no good for you," Lorelai said cutely, attempting humor. From the door, she looked back over her shoulder at Luke, behind the counter, looking desperate.
"Lorelai--"
"Luke, relax. I'm FINE. This, this is fine. It's okay."
He stared intensely at her. Her blue eyes bore into his gaze.
"Bye Luke," she said, before she busted out the door, only hearing the sound of the bell and a whispered "Bye, Lorelai" in the background.
*******************
Lorelai shot up in bed, her breathing labored. She looked around, quickly realized where she was, and that she was just dreaming, and collapsed back onto her pillow, with a big sigh of relief.
As her eyes adjusted to the blackness, she stared at the ceiling. She was confused now. She hadn't had that dream---- or nightmare, she thought, more truthfully---- in ALMOST a full week. She'd thought maybe the scene was done replaying itself in her subconscious, costing her sleep time. The first time she'd had the dream was the night after 'that night', which is how she thought of the night that she was dumped by Jason Stiles AND Luke Danes. That first time she'd had the dream, she'd woken up sweating and crying. Now, at least, she was only waking up scared, and she was able to relax right away. But still, she had thought maybe she was starting to get over it, as she hadn't had the dream in quite a while.
Yet here she was. His voice taunted her dreams and continued to break her heart. She didn't think her heart could continue to feel that shattering feeling anymore--- that there was anything left to shatter. She thought maybe she'd set herself up for this because she had been spending the last few days trying to pick up its pieces and put her life back together. Figures the second her heart started healing, it would shatter in the night. Again. She looked at the clock. 4:01 am. She closed her eyes and tried--- in vain---- to clear her head and fall back asleep.
And in Luke's apartment---
Luke lay with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. He didn't think he'd even blinked in about ten minutes. He just stared. Up. He wasn't even thinking anymore. For the first few days, where he'd started to experience this awful insomnia, he'd thought plenty. His thoughts were frantic, mad, frenzied, nervous, and most of all sad. He'd replayed the conversation from that night in his mind a million times. The look in her eyes. Her smile when she said it was fine. Her final goodbye. That look. Those eyes. He'd gone crazy thinking about the scene over and over.
Then in following nights, he found himself remembering random things from over the years that he hadn't thought of. He thought about when Lorelai would drag a 9-year-old Rory to the diner, call him Duke, and demand coffee- --- an unhealthy over-abundance of coffee. He thought about the time they rode on the sleigh together during her medieval winter dinner. The way they just sat comfortably and talked about life. He thought about the times she bounded confidently into the diner, calling his name excitedly, begging for coffee, and the times she sat with her daughter, the two of them chatting about anything and EVERYTHING. He thought about sitting and talking with her at the dance marathon while he fixed her broken heel, and about all the times they laughed together at the antics of the town and just about everything. He also found another conversation replaying in his head repeatedly. When he was angry with Lorelai for going on a date with a younger guy, and she came back to the diner after Rory's Shakespeare pageant.
*************************
"I don't have a lot of people in my life that are IN my life. Who'll always be there for me and I'll always be there for them. There's Rory. And Sookie. This town. You. I mean, at least I think I have----"
"You do," he'd assured her. And then she'd smiled, relieved.
*************************
He told her on that day that she had him. That he'd always be there for her. She was telling him that no matter what, she wanted him in her life because he was IMPORTANT to her. And he'd let her down. He felt now that he'd broken a promise to her. And broken her heart too. She'd said that she didn't have a lot of people in her life, but the ones she did have she would do anything for. And he was one of them. He'd had the privilege of having a friend who cared that much. He really did believe she'd do anything for these people in her life. And he'd repaid her by throwing that friendship in her face---- giving it back to her like he didn't want it. He'd.... removed himself. Thrown it all away.
Now, on this night, he just stared at the ceiling, not sleeping, but not thinking. His mind had exhausted itself from all the thinking it had been doing for two weeks. He turned his head to look at the sleeping form next to him. Nicole. She was sleeping soundly every night, he thought resentfully. And then he was angry at her. He didn't know why. She had let HIM make the decision. He did this. It wasn't like she went behind his back. He really felt he had no business to be ANGRY at her. But there it was. He couldn't bear to look at her peacefully sleeping form. He got up from the bed, quietly, and walked to the window. His eye caught a figure, dressed in black, walking in the street.
His heart nearly stopped when he realized who it was. Lorelai. She was there. It was the first time he'd seen her since that night. His heart was caught in his throat. She had her arms wrapped around herself, and she was walking with her head down. He positioned himself so that he could watch, but she wouldn't see him if she looked up. She looked like she was about to walk by, but stopped suddenly and lifted her head. She turned and looked at the entrance to the diner, longingly, it seemed. She just stared. She put her head down again, but then looked back up. She just stared at the diner. He saw her walk toward the diner, and he realized that he was feeling anxious, like he had butterflies in his stomach. He didn't hear a knock; he didn't hear anything. But he couldn't see her anymore. Then he realized, she must be looking at the diner through the window. After a few moments, his stomach tensed again when he saw her retreating form. She made it to the sidewalk, looked back at the diner, and sat down. He could barely see her face, but he could tell she was cold. And she looked sad. He took a deep breath, braced himself, and decided to walk downstairs and talk to her. He just had to talk to her, he felt.
He put on a coat, shoes and hurried down the stairs. He headed toward the door and was just about to unlock it when he noticed that she was gone. She wasn't sitting there anymore. His shoulders fell and he turned to head back up the stairs. Back to Nicole.
The next day, Lorelai sat with Sookie, Rory and Logan and they ate dinner. Sookie was trying out new dishes for the menu for the Dragonfly.
"Too salty," Lorelai stated, trying not to make a face that revealed HOW salty she thought it was.
"Definitely too salty," Rory agreed, sharing that look of trying-to-hide- how-bad-it-really-was with her mother.
"Really? I thought this one came out just right," Sookie said, genuinely surprised.
"You know, Sookie, most women go through the weird taste thing DURING pregnancy, but you didn't really. I mean, sure there were times where your food just plain tasted horrible, and even the customers complained," Lorelai started, while Sookie looked now, genuinely insulted. "But all in all, you were okay during pregnancy. But ever since Logan was born, your taste has been a little... on the skits," Lorelai finished.
"All out-a wack," Rory added, in support of her mother.
"Tough crowd," Sookie said, still looking shocked.
"Oh, honey, you know we love your cooking. You have great culinary instincts. We just can't wait for them to return," Lorelai explained.
"Any day now," Rory said, with a hopeful air.
"Okay, okay, I call for a subject change," Sookie said desperately.
"I have something I've been meaning to ask you, mom."
"What?" Lorelai asked, fearfully. It seemed lately, everyone was asking her so many questions about her mood these past few weeks.
"What is the meaning of this!?" Rory asked, holding up a piece of paper from Java.
"Oh, that's a punch card. See, every time I get a coffee, they punch a hole in it, and eventually I get a free----"
"Mom, I, for one, demand to know what happened with you and Luke. I mean I know patience is a virtue, and I feel that I've been more than patient waiting for you to come clean, but I'm not sure you're gonna share this. EVER!"
"I'm with Rory. I wanna know what happened. You're acting weird. He's acting weird. I feel like if I were to ever accidentally say your name at the diner, I might either be asked to leave or interrogated under a big light."
Lorelai looked at the two of them. She didn't want to talk about this. She really didn't. But she also knew she eventually had to.
"I.. nothing happened. Nothing really."
Sookie jumped. "Did you guys..." she tilted her head, to emphasize her insinuation.
"Mom!"
"No! No, nothing happened like that... if I tell you what happened, will you just leave it alone after that?"
"Yes!" Rory and Sookie chimed in together, too eagerly, as they were now dying to know what happened between Luke and Lorelai.
Lorelai sat there, silently, her mind racing. A million things were going through her mind too fast for her to understand any of it. Things from that night, things from their past. Many different thoughts intertwining into a confusing haze in her mind.
Lorelai's face turned a deep shade of red and her eyes glazed over. She was about to cry, and they both knew it. This was big.
"Luke dumped me," she finally said, very softly.
"Luke dumped you?" Rory asked, confused at her specific wording.
"Nicole wanted less of me around. He just told me to come by no more than once a day for her sake, that they were trying to build a family and other stuff."
"Well, that's Nicole, not Luke," Sookie offered.
Lorelai shook her head and held back tears. "You know, a month back, when I was still under the misguided impression that Jason was dating me because he liked me, really liked me, he once commented that I spent a lot of time at the diner, talking with 'that guy', and you know what I said? 'Deal with it.' That's what I said. I mean, he wasn't about to ask me to eliminate Luke from my life, but I made it clear that Luke was my friend, and just not to go there. Luke was there before Jason. Before Max. Before Alex. Before Christopher tried to re-enter the picture. Just before. And anyone who knew me knew who the important people in my life were, and Luke was counted among those people, those people that couldn't be touched. That if they had a problem with, they would just have to deal with."
"Honey, why didn't you tell us this?" Sookie asked gently, placing a hand on Lorelai's shoulder.
"It's embarrassing."
"Mom, how is it embarrassing for you what LUKE did? If anyone should be embarrassed, it's him."
Lorelai nodded at Rory. She knew she was right. Yet she still felt embarrassed.
"You feel pretty humiliated already when you discover that someone you've been dating has just been using you. Something like that can damage your feelings of self-worth if not completely diminish them. That's when you turn to your friends for that. To make you feel like a good person again, someone worthy of love, and tell you that HE's the one missing out. But..... when your friend dumps you before you get to that point, pretty much you feel like a big loser, self-worth has flown the coup, and your just there, feeling pretty embarassed."
Lorelai's face flickered over with---- what appeared to be sadness and a little regret, it seemed, Rory noted. One tear escaped her eye.
"I mean, what kind of person are you if you can't even hold on to your BEST friends? How much does that say about me? That's why I'm embarassed. It doesn't speak very well for me."
"That's funny," Sookie said.
"What?" Lorelai asked, confused at what could possibly be funny about this.
"Well, I was just thinking that it doesn't speak very well for Luke that he let your friendship get away. As a friend of yours myself, I know that it doesn't speak well for him at all. And I also know he must be going out of his mind."
"Why?"
"I know if one day you just weren't in my life anymore, I'd go crazy missing you. And something's just missing about him lately. I just know he's feeling it."
Lorelai nodded blankly, like she was just thinking about it but wasn't sure she agreed.
"Just listen, if he wants less of me, I want to be a good friend and do this right, which means that I just don't want you guys mentioning me at all around him. Just talk to him about yourselves and about him and whatever, but don't talk about me. That's like bringing me to the diner in a way. Just please, don't do anything me-related around him, okay?"
"Mom, it's pretty drastic to just extricate yourself from his life completely. I mean, he said he wanted LESS of you. I don't think he ever thought you'd just drop out of his life completely. He didn't want NONE of you. I don't think Luke can handle that. I've seen him lately. He looks different. It scares me. He's not Luke, these days. And when I'm there and neither of us talks about you---- which is what we're both thinking about----it's like this thing hanging in the air. And you said he still wanted you to come by every day. Have you even seen him since?"
"No. Look, I can't explain this. I know I seem to be flying off the handle in the drama department, but I can't help it. You're not in my head and you're not.. in my heart. You weren't there the night that I realized that Jason was only USING me and one of my best friends not only wasn't there for me, but told me I was around too much and should keep my visits to a minimum. Once a day, clock in, stay no more than twenty minutes---"
"---a clock was involved?" Sookie asked, doubtfully.
"I'm just making a point." She paused and took a long, shaky breath. "It hurt. I mean, I never expected Luke to put me ahead of Nicole in his list of priorities or anything, but..."
"I know," Sookie said, soothingly.
"---but it really hurt that our friendship meant so little to him," Lorelai finished, not looking at either of them.
"Mom, the friendship means more to him than you're thinking. I mean, you haven't seem him lately. You haven't seen his face. You haven't walked into the diner and seen him look over your shoulder quickly, clearly looking for... looking for something he lost."
"She's right," Sookie agreed. "One look at his face these days, I mean, it's daunting."
"Good word, Sookie!" Rory said excitedly. "That definitely does it justice. It's completely daunting."
Lorelai lifted her head and finally looked at them.
"Kind of like your face right now," Rory added.
"Definitely like your face," Sookie agreed.
Lorelai sighed, and started to crumble, and Sookie and Rory both stood up and went to her. They both held Lorelai, wanting to make her not feel this way anymore, but also realizing that her hurt was going deeper than any of them, including Lorelai even, could understand or would have ever thought possible. Lorelai quietly cried a little on her friend's and daughter's shoulders, really missing Luke right now.
And the next day---- on a rooftop----- in that OTHER little town----
Lorelai sat, with a paintbrush in her hand, taking a break to sip some water.
"Of all the tasks I should be given on my first day as an odd painter, I WOULD be given the job of painting someone's ROOF." She glanced down the two stories to the ground. "The most dangerous way to start this ever-so- clever-idea I had of a fantastic new profession. Lorelai, what did you do on your first day of work? Oh, well, I broke my arms. Very clever."
She sighed and put the water down, resolving to resume her task. She grabbed the paintbrush and turned so she was on her hands and knees. She painted, being careful not to make any rash moves. "Who paints their ROOF!" she asked, annoyed.
"What's that?" the voice of the little senile old man who lived in the house asked, from below.
"Oh, hi Mr. Takki, I was just saying that everyone should paint their roof," she said, mocking cheer.
"Oh. Well, okay," he said, slowly walking back into the house.
She shook her head and kept painting. After a few minutes, she was in a rhythm and was moving faster. She positioned herself lower on the roof, so she could get a spot she'd missed, and in doing so, kicked the ladder down. "So much for my professionalism," she mumbled to herself. She started to turn herself so she could call for Mr. Takki to come back and grab the ladder for her. She realized her foot was caught on something and yanked it. Unfortunately, by yanking her foot free, she lost her balance, and stumbled off the roof, screaming, and hearing the gasp of another person too. She realized when she should have hit the hard ground, she instead just landed on someone. She lifted her head and looked at who she'd fallen on.
"Lorelai!"
"Luke."
*****************
"Lorelai, we need to talk..." Luke's voice boomed sadly. Forebodingly.
His mouth moved after that, but all she heard was a frightening silence and the sound of her heart beat reverberating in her ears loudly.
"Lorelai, I'm so sorry, I know this sounds bad... I still want you to come by... Everday. I would really love it if you came by everyday.... please say something. For once, I'm begging you, talk..."
"No, Luke, I understand. Nicole doesn't want me around. And you want to start a family with her. I.. I completely understand. It's.. it's fine. I, um, I just remembered, Sookie wanted to see me before she went to bed. Business."
"No, Lorelai, please---"
"Luke, I'm okay. Really," she lied, smiling sweetly.
"You didn't even finish your coff----"
"That stuff's no good for you," Lorelai said cutely, attempting humor. From the door, she looked back over her shoulder at Luke, behind the counter, looking desperate.
"Lorelai--"
"Luke, relax. I'm FINE. This, this is fine. It's okay."
He stared intensely at her. Her blue eyes bore into his gaze.
"Bye Luke," she said, before she busted out the door, only hearing the sound of the bell and a whispered "Bye, Lorelai" in the background.
*******************
Lorelai shot up in bed, her breathing labored. She looked around, quickly realized where she was, and that she was just dreaming, and collapsed back onto her pillow, with a big sigh of relief.
As her eyes adjusted to the blackness, she stared at the ceiling. She was confused now. She hadn't had that dream---- or nightmare, she thought, more truthfully---- in ALMOST a full week. She'd thought maybe the scene was done replaying itself in her subconscious, costing her sleep time. The first time she'd had the dream was the night after 'that night', which is how she thought of the night that she was dumped by Jason Stiles AND Luke Danes. That first time she'd had the dream, she'd woken up sweating and crying. Now, at least, she was only waking up scared, and she was able to relax right away. But still, she had thought maybe she was starting to get over it, as she hadn't had the dream in quite a while.
Yet here she was. His voice taunted her dreams and continued to break her heart. She didn't think her heart could continue to feel that shattering feeling anymore--- that there was anything left to shatter. She thought maybe she'd set herself up for this because she had been spending the last few days trying to pick up its pieces and put her life back together. Figures the second her heart started healing, it would shatter in the night. Again. She looked at the clock. 4:01 am. She closed her eyes and tried--- in vain---- to clear her head and fall back asleep.
And in Luke's apartment---
Luke lay with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. He didn't think he'd even blinked in about ten minutes. He just stared. Up. He wasn't even thinking anymore. For the first few days, where he'd started to experience this awful insomnia, he'd thought plenty. His thoughts were frantic, mad, frenzied, nervous, and most of all sad. He'd replayed the conversation from that night in his mind a million times. The look in her eyes. Her smile when she said it was fine. Her final goodbye. That look. Those eyes. He'd gone crazy thinking about the scene over and over.
Then in following nights, he found himself remembering random things from over the years that he hadn't thought of. He thought about when Lorelai would drag a 9-year-old Rory to the diner, call him Duke, and demand coffee- --- an unhealthy over-abundance of coffee. He thought about the time they rode on the sleigh together during her medieval winter dinner. The way they just sat comfortably and talked about life. He thought about the times she bounded confidently into the diner, calling his name excitedly, begging for coffee, and the times she sat with her daughter, the two of them chatting about anything and EVERYTHING. He thought about sitting and talking with her at the dance marathon while he fixed her broken heel, and about all the times they laughed together at the antics of the town and just about everything. He also found another conversation replaying in his head repeatedly. When he was angry with Lorelai for going on a date with a younger guy, and she came back to the diner after Rory's Shakespeare pageant.
*************************
"I don't have a lot of people in my life that are IN my life. Who'll always be there for me and I'll always be there for them. There's Rory. And Sookie. This town. You. I mean, at least I think I have----"
"You do," he'd assured her. And then she'd smiled, relieved.
*************************
He told her on that day that she had him. That he'd always be there for her. She was telling him that no matter what, she wanted him in her life because he was IMPORTANT to her. And he'd let her down. He felt now that he'd broken a promise to her. And broken her heart too. She'd said that she didn't have a lot of people in her life, but the ones she did have she would do anything for. And he was one of them. He'd had the privilege of having a friend who cared that much. He really did believe she'd do anything for these people in her life. And he'd repaid her by throwing that friendship in her face---- giving it back to her like he didn't want it. He'd.... removed himself. Thrown it all away.
Now, on this night, he just stared at the ceiling, not sleeping, but not thinking. His mind had exhausted itself from all the thinking it had been doing for two weeks. He turned his head to look at the sleeping form next to him. Nicole. She was sleeping soundly every night, he thought resentfully. And then he was angry at her. He didn't know why. She had let HIM make the decision. He did this. It wasn't like she went behind his back. He really felt he had no business to be ANGRY at her. But there it was. He couldn't bear to look at her peacefully sleeping form. He got up from the bed, quietly, and walked to the window. His eye caught a figure, dressed in black, walking in the street.
His heart nearly stopped when he realized who it was. Lorelai. She was there. It was the first time he'd seen her since that night. His heart was caught in his throat. She had her arms wrapped around herself, and she was walking with her head down. He positioned himself so that he could watch, but she wouldn't see him if she looked up. She looked like she was about to walk by, but stopped suddenly and lifted her head. She turned and looked at the entrance to the diner, longingly, it seemed. She just stared. She put her head down again, but then looked back up. She just stared at the diner. He saw her walk toward the diner, and he realized that he was feeling anxious, like he had butterflies in his stomach. He didn't hear a knock; he didn't hear anything. But he couldn't see her anymore. Then he realized, she must be looking at the diner through the window. After a few moments, his stomach tensed again when he saw her retreating form. She made it to the sidewalk, looked back at the diner, and sat down. He could barely see her face, but he could tell she was cold. And she looked sad. He took a deep breath, braced himself, and decided to walk downstairs and talk to her. He just had to talk to her, he felt.
He put on a coat, shoes and hurried down the stairs. He headed toward the door and was just about to unlock it when he noticed that she was gone. She wasn't sitting there anymore. His shoulders fell and he turned to head back up the stairs. Back to Nicole.
The next day, Lorelai sat with Sookie, Rory and Logan and they ate dinner. Sookie was trying out new dishes for the menu for the Dragonfly.
"Too salty," Lorelai stated, trying not to make a face that revealed HOW salty she thought it was.
"Definitely too salty," Rory agreed, sharing that look of trying-to-hide- how-bad-it-really-was with her mother.
"Really? I thought this one came out just right," Sookie said, genuinely surprised.
"You know, Sookie, most women go through the weird taste thing DURING pregnancy, but you didn't really. I mean, sure there were times where your food just plain tasted horrible, and even the customers complained," Lorelai started, while Sookie looked now, genuinely insulted. "But all in all, you were okay during pregnancy. But ever since Logan was born, your taste has been a little... on the skits," Lorelai finished.
"All out-a wack," Rory added, in support of her mother.
"Tough crowd," Sookie said, still looking shocked.
"Oh, honey, you know we love your cooking. You have great culinary instincts. We just can't wait for them to return," Lorelai explained.
"Any day now," Rory said, with a hopeful air.
"Okay, okay, I call for a subject change," Sookie said desperately.
"I have something I've been meaning to ask you, mom."
"What?" Lorelai asked, fearfully. It seemed lately, everyone was asking her so many questions about her mood these past few weeks.
"What is the meaning of this!?" Rory asked, holding up a piece of paper from Java.
"Oh, that's a punch card. See, every time I get a coffee, they punch a hole in it, and eventually I get a free----"
"Mom, I, for one, demand to know what happened with you and Luke. I mean I know patience is a virtue, and I feel that I've been more than patient waiting for you to come clean, but I'm not sure you're gonna share this. EVER!"
"I'm with Rory. I wanna know what happened. You're acting weird. He's acting weird. I feel like if I were to ever accidentally say your name at the diner, I might either be asked to leave or interrogated under a big light."
Lorelai looked at the two of them. She didn't want to talk about this. She really didn't. But she also knew she eventually had to.
"I.. nothing happened. Nothing really."
Sookie jumped. "Did you guys..." she tilted her head, to emphasize her insinuation.
"Mom!"
"No! No, nothing happened like that... if I tell you what happened, will you just leave it alone after that?"
"Yes!" Rory and Sookie chimed in together, too eagerly, as they were now dying to know what happened between Luke and Lorelai.
Lorelai sat there, silently, her mind racing. A million things were going through her mind too fast for her to understand any of it. Things from that night, things from their past. Many different thoughts intertwining into a confusing haze in her mind.
Lorelai's face turned a deep shade of red and her eyes glazed over. She was about to cry, and they both knew it. This was big.
"Luke dumped me," she finally said, very softly.
"Luke dumped you?" Rory asked, confused at her specific wording.
"Nicole wanted less of me around. He just told me to come by no more than once a day for her sake, that they were trying to build a family and other stuff."
"Well, that's Nicole, not Luke," Sookie offered.
Lorelai shook her head and held back tears. "You know, a month back, when I was still under the misguided impression that Jason was dating me because he liked me, really liked me, he once commented that I spent a lot of time at the diner, talking with 'that guy', and you know what I said? 'Deal with it.' That's what I said. I mean, he wasn't about to ask me to eliminate Luke from my life, but I made it clear that Luke was my friend, and just not to go there. Luke was there before Jason. Before Max. Before Alex. Before Christopher tried to re-enter the picture. Just before. And anyone who knew me knew who the important people in my life were, and Luke was counted among those people, those people that couldn't be touched. That if they had a problem with, they would just have to deal with."
"Honey, why didn't you tell us this?" Sookie asked gently, placing a hand on Lorelai's shoulder.
"It's embarrassing."
"Mom, how is it embarrassing for you what LUKE did? If anyone should be embarrassed, it's him."
Lorelai nodded at Rory. She knew she was right. Yet she still felt embarrassed.
"You feel pretty humiliated already when you discover that someone you've been dating has just been using you. Something like that can damage your feelings of self-worth if not completely diminish them. That's when you turn to your friends for that. To make you feel like a good person again, someone worthy of love, and tell you that HE's the one missing out. But..... when your friend dumps you before you get to that point, pretty much you feel like a big loser, self-worth has flown the coup, and your just there, feeling pretty embarassed."
Lorelai's face flickered over with---- what appeared to be sadness and a little regret, it seemed, Rory noted. One tear escaped her eye.
"I mean, what kind of person are you if you can't even hold on to your BEST friends? How much does that say about me? That's why I'm embarassed. It doesn't speak very well for me."
"That's funny," Sookie said.
"What?" Lorelai asked, confused at what could possibly be funny about this.
"Well, I was just thinking that it doesn't speak very well for Luke that he let your friendship get away. As a friend of yours myself, I know that it doesn't speak well for him at all. And I also know he must be going out of his mind."
"Why?"
"I know if one day you just weren't in my life anymore, I'd go crazy missing you. And something's just missing about him lately. I just know he's feeling it."
Lorelai nodded blankly, like she was just thinking about it but wasn't sure she agreed.
"Just listen, if he wants less of me, I want to be a good friend and do this right, which means that I just don't want you guys mentioning me at all around him. Just talk to him about yourselves and about him and whatever, but don't talk about me. That's like bringing me to the diner in a way. Just please, don't do anything me-related around him, okay?"
"Mom, it's pretty drastic to just extricate yourself from his life completely. I mean, he said he wanted LESS of you. I don't think he ever thought you'd just drop out of his life completely. He didn't want NONE of you. I don't think Luke can handle that. I've seen him lately. He looks different. It scares me. He's not Luke, these days. And when I'm there and neither of us talks about you---- which is what we're both thinking about----it's like this thing hanging in the air. And you said he still wanted you to come by every day. Have you even seen him since?"
"No. Look, I can't explain this. I know I seem to be flying off the handle in the drama department, but I can't help it. You're not in my head and you're not.. in my heart. You weren't there the night that I realized that Jason was only USING me and one of my best friends not only wasn't there for me, but told me I was around too much and should keep my visits to a minimum. Once a day, clock in, stay no more than twenty minutes---"
"---a clock was involved?" Sookie asked, doubtfully.
"I'm just making a point." She paused and took a long, shaky breath. "It hurt. I mean, I never expected Luke to put me ahead of Nicole in his list of priorities or anything, but..."
"I know," Sookie said, soothingly.
"---but it really hurt that our friendship meant so little to him," Lorelai finished, not looking at either of them.
"Mom, the friendship means more to him than you're thinking. I mean, you haven't seem him lately. You haven't seen his face. You haven't walked into the diner and seen him look over your shoulder quickly, clearly looking for... looking for something he lost."
"She's right," Sookie agreed. "One look at his face these days, I mean, it's daunting."
"Good word, Sookie!" Rory said excitedly. "That definitely does it justice. It's completely daunting."
Lorelai lifted her head and finally looked at them.
"Kind of like your face right now," Rory added.
"Definitely like your face," Sookie agreed.
Lorelai sighed, and started to crumble, and Sookie and Rory both stood up and went to her. They both held Lorelai, wanting to make her not feel this way anymore, but also realizing that her hurt was going deeper than any of them, including Lorelai even, could understand or would have ever thought possible. Lorelai quietly cried a little on her friend's and daughter's shoulders, really missing Luke right now.
And the next day---- on a rooftop----- in that OTHER little town----
Lorelai sat, with a paintbrush in her hand, taking a break to sip some water.
"Of all the tasks I should be given on my first day as an odd painter, I WOULD be given the job of painting someone's ROOF." She glanced down the two stories to the ground. "The most dangerous way to start this ever-so- clever-idea I had of a fantastic new profession. Lorelai, what did you do on your first day of work? Oh, well, I broke my arms. Very clever."
She sighed and put the water down, resolving to resume her task. She grabbed the paintbrush and turned so she was on her hands and knees. She painted, being careful not to make any rash moves. "Who paints their ROOF!" she asked, annoyed.
"What's that?" the voice of the little senile old man who lived in the house asked, from below.
"Oh, hi Mr. Takki, I was just saying that everyone should paint their roof," she said, mocking cheer.
"Oh. Well, okay," he said, slowly walking back into the house.
She shook her head and kept painting. After a few minutes, she was in a rhythm and was moving faster. She positioned herself lower on the roof, so she could get a spot she'd missed, and in doing so, kicked the ladder down. "So much for my professionalism," she mumbled to herself. She started to turn herself so she could call for Mr. Takki to come back and grab the ladder for her. She realized her foot was caught on something and yanked it. Unfortunately, by yanking her foot free, she lost her balance, and stumbled off the roof, screaming, and hearing the gasp of another person too. She realized when she should have hit the hard ground, she instead just landed on someone. She lifted her head and looked at who she'd fallen on.
"Lorelai!"
"Luke."