Hey all! Time for another one-shot!! ^___^ stuff has been fucked up in my
life recently so I thought we could all use a ill more humor!! Not that you
know what meh life is like, but what the hell you guys KNOW you love humor.
^_^
Disclaimer: Here ish the plan! We go down the well, find inuyasha, take this cool rubber stamp thingie *produces a rubber stamp thingie with sango on the part you put ink on* and stamp his head with this! THEN HE BELONGS TO ME!! MUWAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!
*~*~*~*~*
FTFS!
A one-shot stupidity by PP (phantom phire)
*~*~*~*~*
It was a beautiful day in the feudal era!
The sun was shinning,
The birds were singing,
Miroku was getting slapped and brutally beaten! But we all know that!
Sango stormed off angrily with her boomerang slung over her back, Kirara on her shoulder and Shippo trailing after her. Miroku laid as a heap on the ground, closely resembling the oddly shaped rock next to him.
"Where's Kagome-chan and Inuyasha?" Sango wondered out loud.
"Dunno," Shippo shrugged and hopped along the ground, picking up various 'pretty' pebbles that were actually quite ugly.
"Let's look for them!" Sango announced happily, all troubles related to the rock-shaped lump she had beaten up forgotten.
"Okay!" Shippo agreed. They both hopped onto Kirara, who had suddenly enlarged like those wool slacks you accidentally put in the hot wash. Kirara soared into the sky, circling the area around Keade's village several times before they landed again.
"I don't see them," Sango puzzled. She looked left and right before starting forward on foot. "C'mon Shippo, let's look!" she called. Shippo finished chucking his pretty/ugly rocks at some hapless ants and tagged along.
"Inuyasha, what ARE you doing?"
"Trying to fit this damn thing in!"
"It's not going to fit! Give it up already!"
"You're the one who damn hell wanted this!"
Sango's face turned pale and then 50 different shades of red, all including vermillion, crimson, tomato, blood, infra. ^_____^
"San-" Shippo was about to comment before Sango clamped a hand on his mouth.
"Sssh!" She hissed, eyes squinting as she stared in the direction of her friends' voices. "I want to hear what they're doing!"
"My my lady Sango, to think that you think that way." The formerly rock-resembling lump called Miroku crawled up behind them, speaking in a very confusing way, including saying various words more than strictly needed.
The next second, he once again resembled a rock, only this time similar to one of the lovely/fugly* rocks Shippo had found. And she somehow accomplished this task without any noise!
"Inuyasha you weigh to much! I'm gonna break my back under your weight!!"
"Hold up for just a little longer! Jeez! Stupi-AH FUCK!"
"Inuyasha! Are you okay?"
"Move that hand. . . that hurts. . ."
"Is here okay?"
"Yea-FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCcccckkkk!!" The voice faded out and there was a loud BANG.
Sango, by now, had far surprassed the color chart in naming various shades of red. However, she continued listening. But, there were no more sounds. Not a single peep of a newborn chick, besides the fact there was no chicks right now or the fact that inserting a chick in this point of the story would be completely pointless.
"Hey!" Sango glared up at PP who was slowly typing this story. "Get on with it!" PP grumbled and continued, all the while muttering about ungrateful lovely/fugly* rock-resembling makers.
Sango, Miroku, and Shippo listened cautiously for any sign of action of movement, although those two words mean the exact same thing but sound good together anyway.
"Did they. . . Disappear?" Shippo whispered quietly to the other two.
"Where would they disappear to?" Sango snorted.
"Maybe some magic?" Miroku suggested.
"OH NO!" cried Shippo. "What if. . . What if. . . WHAT IF. . ."
"Spit it out already!" Sango almost screamed, a perfect analogy displaying Shippo's trauma-like situation and Sango's dramatic-like one.
"WHAT IF THEY GOT KIDNAPPED BY THE FUSCHIA TREE FROG SPIRITS?!"
"Fuchsia Tree Frog Spirits?" Echoed Sango and Miroku in unison.
"Yes, FTFS!" Shippo sobbed, the waterworks already pourin' down his face.
((A/N: FTFS: Fuchsia Tree frog Spirits!))
"Why Fuchsia?" Sango puzzled.
"Because they're FTFSes!!" Shippo cried out.
"But WHY fuchsia?" Miroku exclaimed.
"Be-BECAUSE!" Shippo sobbed.
"Because what?!"
"JUST BECAUSE!"
"I think we're totally off track," deduced Sango.
"Off track? We were on a track?" Miroku instantly became confused than he was formerly confused.
"No, off track. It means we're not on the right track, because-"
"Why not the left track?" Shippo asked temporarily forgetting the FTFS. Note the temporarily.
Sango sighed and rubbed her temples. "The right track means that we know what we're talking about! And we're off track!"
"So we're on the left track? What happened to the middle track?"
"We're on the middle track, dummy!" Shippo cried out triumphantly.
"NOW you're on the right track," Sango said happily.
"No wait!" Miroku cried. "We CAN'T be on the right track, we were just on the left track!"
"It was the middle track, dummy!"
"No, we just got sidetracked," Sango tried to explain patiently.
"NOOO!!" Miroku nearly screamed. "We were on the left track, then the middle track, and now the SIDETRACK!?"
"No, we're still on the middle track!" Shippo contributed.
"But how can we be on the SIDEtrack if we're on the MIDDLE track?!" Miroku exclaimed in frustration.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Sango screamed. "FORGET IT!!" and with that, she crashed through the bushes to find Inuyasha and Kagome. . .
Sitting together in a tree. . .
Fully clothed. . .
With Kagome giving Inuyasha a massage.
Sango's jaw dropped all the way to the ground, assuming that was physically possible.
"Oh, hi Sango," Kagome waved cheerfully.
"WAIT!! THE TRACK!! THE TRACK!!" Miroku yelled as he tripped in somehow without really tripping in.
"WHAT ABOUT THE FTFS?" yelled Shippo as he bounced in also.
"FTFS?" Kagome asked.
"Fuck This Fucking Shit?" Inuyasha puzzled.
"Freakishly Terrific Frowning Sloths?" Kagome joined in.
"Forget it," Sango sighed wearily. "It's in the past."
"WAIT!" Shippo cried. "I thought WE were in the past!"
"No," Sango tried to explain. "We aren't really in the past. We're in the present. But t o Kagome, we're in the past, because she lives in the future."
"So we're in the past and Kagome isn't?"
"No. . ."
"Wait now I'm confused!" Shippo & Miroku wailed in unison.
"See, anything we say a second ago is in the past, including the beginning of this confusing sentence," Sango explained, concluding her long, in the past, and confusing sentence.
"So in Kagome's time the words float around because they're not in the past?" Shippo asked, attempting to picture characters floating around in the air. "That future would get very clouded with the past," He said.
Sango groaned as Shippo and Miroku started arguing about the past, the present, the future, and god knows what else.
"But WHY? How does it work that way?" Miroku asked. Inuyasha and Kagome sat around silently watching the exchange.
"Because!" Sango screamed.
"BUT I THOUGHT 'BECAUSE' WAS THE FTFS!" sobbed Miroku.
"I GIVE UP!" she screamed, feeling like after so many years she'd lost what she never had. Assuming that was ALSO possible.
"Then I give down!" Shippo exclaimed.
"Now we're totally off base," Kagome sighed, understanding how poor Sango felt.
"Off base? We're on a base?"
"First, second, third or all the way home?" Miroku asked with a perverted glint in his eyes.
"Where's on all four bases? How's that possible?"
"No, we're just on one base. And now we're off it."
"Then who's on first?"
"Who's on second?"
"Where's home base?"
Veins were pulsing quite brightly on Sango and Kagome's foreheads as Shippo and Miroku exchanged every bit of vocabulary they knew regarding bases, tracks, because, fuchsia, and god knew what else, assuming he DID know.
The two exasperated girls left the clearing minutes later, leaving Shippo and Miroku to be Shippo's lovely/fugly rock-resembling lumps together.
"Wait, what happened to the Fuchsia Tree Frog Spirits?"
*~*~*~*~*
The End
*~*~*~*~*
Fugly*- Fucking Ugly
Hope that was sufficiently funny!
Review before I e-mail every single on of you and slowly torture you by inventing more stupid wordplay and couflusterating confusing sentences, even thought conflusterating * confusing mean the same thing! Although I'm not sure what!
~Phantom Phire Signing out! [6:05 PM Completed]
Disclaimer: Here ish the plan! We go down the well, find inuyasha, take this cool rubber stamp thingie *produces a rubber stamp thingie with sango on the part you put ink on* and stamp his head with this! THEN HE BELONGS TO ME!! MUWAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!
*~*~*~*~*
FTFS!
A one-shot stupidity by PP (phantom phire)
*~*~*~*~*
It was a beautiful day in the feudal era!
The sun was shinning,
The birds were singing,
Miroku was getting slapped and brutally beaten! But we all know that!
Sango stormed off angrily with her boomerang slung over her back, Kirara on her shoulder and Shippo trailing after her. Miroku laid as a heap on the ground, closely resembling the oddly shaped rock next to him.
"Where's Kagome-chan and Inuyasha?" Sango wondered out loud.
"Dunno," Shippo shrugged and hopped along the ground, picking up various 'pretty' pebbles that were actually quite ugly.
"Let's look for them!" Sango announced happily, all troubles related to the rock-shaped lump she had beaten up forgotten.
"Okay!" Shippo agreed. They both hopped onto Kirara, who had suddenly enlarged like those wool slacks you accidentally put in the hot wash. Kirara soared into the sky, circling the area around Keade's village several times before they landed again.
"I don't see them," Sango puzzled. She looked left and right before starting forward on foot. "C'mon Shippo, let's look!" she called. Shippo finished chucking his pretty/ugly rocks at some hapless ants and tagged along.
"Inuyasha, what ARE you doing?"
"Trying to fit this damn thing in!"
"It's not going to fit! Give it up already!"
"You're the one who damn hell wanted this!"
Sango's face turned pale and then 50 different shades of red, all including vermillion, crimson, tomato, blood, infra. ^_____^
"San-" Shippo was about to comment before Sango clamped a hand on his mouth.
"Sssh!" She hissed, eyes squinting as she stared in the direction of her friends' voices. "I want to hear what they're doing!"
"My my lady Sango, to think that you think that way." The formerly rock-resembling lump called Miroku crawled up behind them, speaking in a very confusing way, including saying various words more than strictly needed.
The next second, he once again resembled a rock, only this time similar to one of the lovely/fugly* rocks Shippo had found. And she somehow accomplished this task without any noise!
"Inuyasha you weigh to much! I'm gonna break my back under your weight!!"
"Hold up for just a little longer! Jeez! Stupi-AH FUCK!"
"Inuyasha! Are you okay?"
"Move that hand. . . that hurts. . ."
"Is here okay?"
"Yea-FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCcccckkkk!!" The voice faded out and there was a loud BANG.
Sango, by now, had far surprassed the color chart in naming various shades of red. However, she continued listening. But, there were no more sounds. Not a single peep of a newborn chick, besides the fact there was no chicks right now or the fact that inserting a chick in this point of the story would be completely pointless.
"Hey!" Sango glared up at PP who was slowly typing this story. "Get on with it!" PP grumbled and continued, all the while muttering about ungrateful lovely/fugly* rock-resembling makers.
Sango, Miroku, and Shippo listened cautiously for any sign of action of movement, although those two words mean the exact same thing but sound good together anyway.
"Did they. . . Disappear?" Shippo whispered quietly to the other two.
"Where would they disappear to?" Sango snorted.
"Maybe some magic?" Miroku suggested.
"OH NO!" cried Shippo. "What if. . . What if. . . WHAT IF. . ."
"Spit it out already!" Sango almost screamed, a perfect analogy displaying Shippo's trauma-like situation and Sango's dramatic-like one.
"WHAT IF THEY GOT KIDNAPPED BY THE FUSCHIA TREE FROG SPIRITS?!"
"Fuchsia Tree Frog Spirits?" Echoed Sango and Miroku in unison.
"Yes, FTFS!" Shippo sobbed, the waterworks already pourin' down his face.
((A/N: FTFS: Fuchsia Tree frog Spirits!))
"Why Fuchsia?" Sango puzzled.
"Because they're FTFSes!!" Shippo cried out.
"But WHY fuchsia?" Miroku exclaimed.
"Be-BECAUSE!" Shippo sobbed.
"Because what?!"
"JUST BECAUSE!"
"I think we're totally off track," deduced Sango.
"Off track? We were on a track?" Miroku instantly became confused than he was formerly confused.
"No, off track. It means we're not on the right track, because-"
"Why not the left track?" Shippo asked temporarily forgetting the FTFS. Note the temporarily.
Sango sighed and rubbed her temples. "The right track means that we know what we're talking about! And we're off track!"
"So we're on the left track? What happened to the middle track?"
"We're on the middle track, dummy!" Shippo cried out triumphantly.
"NOW you're on the right track," Sango said happily.
"No wait!" Miroku cried. "We CAN'T be on the right track, we were just on the left track!"
"It was the middle track, dummy!"
"No, we just got sidetracked," Sango tried to explain patiently.
"NOOO!!" Miroku nearly screamed. "We were on the left track, then the middle track, and now the SIDETRACK!?"
"No, we're still on the middle track!" Shippo contributed.
"But how can we be on the SIDEtrack if we're on the MIDDLE track?!" Miroku exclaimed in frustration.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Sango screamed. "FORGET IT!!" and with that, she crashed through the bushes to find Inuyasha and Kagome. . .
Sitting together in a tree. . .
Fully clothed. . .
With Kagome giving Inuyasha a massage.
Sango's jaw dropped all the way to the ground, assuming that was physically possible.
"Oh, hi Sango," Kagome waved cheerfully.
"WAIT!! THE TRACK!! THE TRACK!!" Miroku yelled as he tripped in somehow without really tripping in.
"WHAT ABOUT THE FTFS?" yelled Shippo as he bounced in also.
"FTFS?" Kagome asked.
"Fuck This Fucking Shit?" Inuyasha puzzled.
"Freakishly Terrific Frowning Sloths?" Kagome joined in.
"Forget it," Sango sighed wearily. "It's in the past."
"WAIT!" Shippo cried. "I thought WE were in the past!"
"No," Sango tried to explain. "We aren't really in the past. We're in the present. But t o Kagome, we're in the past, because she lives in the future."
"So we're in the past and Kagome isn't?"
"No. . ."
"Wait now I'm confused!" Shippo & Miroku wailed in unison.
"See, anything we say a second ago is in the past, including the beginning of this confusing sentence," Sango explained, concluding her long, in the past, and confusing sentence.
"So in Kagome's time the words float around because they're not in the past?" Shippo asked, attempting to picture characters floating around in the air. "That future would get very clouded with the past," He said.
Sango groaned as Shippo and Miroku started arguing about the past, the present, the future, and god knows what else.
"But WHY? How does it work that way?" Miroku asked. Inuyasha and Kagome sat around silently watching the exchange.
"Because!" Sango screamed.
"BUT I THOUGHT 'BECAUSE' WAS THE FTFS!" sobbed Miroku.
"I GIVE UP!" she screamed, feeling like after so many years she'd lost what she never had. Assuming that was ALSO possible.
"Then I give down!" Shippo exclaimed.
"Now we're totally off base," Kagome sighed, understanding how poor Sango felt.
"Off base? We're on a base?"
"First, second, third or all the way home?" Miroku asked with a perverted glint in his eyes.
"Where's on all four bases? How's that possible?"
"No, we're just on one base. And now we're off it."
"Then who's on first?"
"Who's on second?"
"Where's home base?"
Veins were pulsing quite brightly on Sango and Kagome's foreheads as Shippo and Miroku exchanged every bit of vocabulary they knew regarding bases, tracks, because, fuchsia, and god knew what else, assuming he DID know.
The two exasperated girls left the clearing minutes later, leaving Shippo and Miroku to be Shippo's lovely/fugly rock-resembling lumps together.
"Wait, what happened to the Fuchsia Tree Frog Spirits?"
*~*~*~*~*
The End
*~*~*~*~*
Fugly*- Fucking Ugly
Hope that was sufficiently funny!
Review before I e-mail every single on of you and slowly torture you by inventing more stupid wordplay and couflusterating confusing sentences, even thought conflusterating * confusing mean the same thing! Although I'm not sure what!
~Phantom Phire Signing out! [6:05 PM Completed]