Disclaimer: I have borrow a song but do not make any money on the story or use of the song. I don't own the song so please don't sue. I just felt that it fit with my mood and the story. But then I do have a strange sense some times. I used the song "I don't know how to love him" It was done for the Play and Movie Jesus Christ Superstar by Andrew Lloyd Webber which I have seen many times in both the stage and screen and also own on Video tape. It's awesome. Hope that I don't offend any one using it here in this story.
His Soul - Chapter Eight - The Beginning of the End - My Fight?
The darkness that he some how caused it is thick but yet different as it over takes me quickly. All most as if I am in a fog or walking near a lake. At first it didn't seem too bad for though it is over taking me it isn't cold. As it starts to over come me I can still feel his brother Kanes arms around me slowly leading me to the darkness. Or is he some how holding some of the darkness back and away from me? As I think this, his brother is suddenly gone. And then I feel it before it starts to turn and I can tell that when it finishes turning that it is bad. A whole lot worst then I ever thought that it could be. I am up and then down, calm and then scared. I am flying one minute free and happy. And then just as quickly I am heading for the ground, which I'm sure, will be the end of me. But then again in the next second I am floating on a deep Black Sea with only the stars above me. Only then I am now being held under the water till I can hold my breath no longer. Being held down by hands? No hearts that are sinking and taking me under with them. Hearts empty but lost of the soul. I think that I am screaming but yet no one comes. I must be scream as my throat hurt so bad that I can't take in air with out is burning. Or maybe I am laughing? I'm I in hell, heaven or I'm I just on this earth? I'm I free or I'm I one of the walking dead? I feel hands touching me and yet I can't see them. Holding me and lifting, pushing me and then dropping me. I know that this is how the beginning of the End was supposed to begin with a fight but I never figured that it would be my fight. I turn to see them watching me for the corner. First my parents and then the brothers. And then even more are in the room some of them I saved and others that I lost. Some are old and others yet are young. But when I turn toward them they are all gone. I am scared like I have never been before. Scared and afraid and lonely as if I had no one. Which maybe the truth as since this all started I lost touch with my friends and my family died the night the Soul Stealer came for them. Or was he coming for me? Yes in my heart I know now that I was the one he had come for that night so long ago. But yet he took my parents in trade. Why? Was it because he knew that I was the only one who could save him but not if he had taken me that day? Or was it because some where in his heart that he felt the love for me. The same love that I told my Mother that I had dreamed of for months before their death. Did they know that I would be here one day? For here I am and yet I have no way it seem to stop the darkness for entering not just my mind but also my body. Or maybe I should just call it what it is and say my soul and my heart? It is cold but yet it burns this darkness. I guess that, that is why his bite or was it a kiss felt the same a cold burning. I'm sure it is because he still has some soul left in him some where. Because if not then I am sure that it would have been just cold. I also know that it would have been a bite with no chance for the kiss. And I still can't tell if he had bitten me or kissed me? If I am to save his soul then I know that some how I have to figure out what I want? Or is it what I have to do? Do I even get a choice here? Also I have to figure out what I can do to save him and Kane. And if Taker doesn't want to be save then can I banish him without losing my own heart? Questions are all that I seem to have lately. Questions and loneliness. I reach back into my mind and there is the spell. The one that my parents taught me as a child, the one that they said I should never forget. It's a short spell one that only has three short sentences to it. If I use it now will this darkness leave me? Do I dare use it? Go fore and be gone demon of the Soul Stealer. Take no more soul to hell with you. Feel only.... But yet... I'm I being selfish? I'm I aloud to be selfish? Is it wrong to want my heart to feel the warmth of what loved can make it feel? But... I should use the spell but... Questions and loneliness? Why am I confused when I have been trained most of my life to do this. Why? Because I love him? " I don't know how to love him? What to do how to move him? I been change, yes really change. In these past few days when I see myself I seem like some one else. I don't know how to take this? I don't see why he moves me? He's a man. He's just a man. And I've had some many men before in very many ways. He's just one more. Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout? Should I speak of love? Let my feeling out? I never though I'd come to this. What it all about? Don't you think it's rather funny? I should be in this position. I'm the one who's always been so calm, so cool, no never screwed, running every show. He scares me so. I never thought I'd come to this. What it all about? Yet if he said he loved me. I'd be lost. I'd be frightened. I couldn't cope. Just couldn't cope. I'd turn my head. I back away. I wouldn't want to know he scares me so. I want him so. I love him so." Deep in my heart I know that I need his touch so much so that I can't use the spell. I can't finish those last few words. I'm sorry Mom and Dad for I know with just three more words I could have banished him. I let you down but some thing in me just can not do it. I do realize that if I did do it I could release him to finish his time in his damnation alone. No not alone because I would be sending Kane in along with his brother. For I know in my heart that even if I could save him that he wouldn't leave his brothers side. As I also have figured out in this darkness that .... I would also be sending my heart with him too. So once again I am starting to fall down toward the earth. But in a way I can tell that I will not die in this darkness. At least in my heart I feel that I will see him again first. Weather it will be so that he can take my soul or my heart only time would tell. Some how I figured that it would be soon though. As I go to hit down into the ground this time the only thing is that there is a different. This time he is standing below me with his arms out ready to catch me. He looks up and I see that he has turned his eyes back to the white. The white that hides his soul and also what he is thinking. For I know that as my fight end his will just be beginning. I think I landed in his arms but I'm not sure? I feel safe but yet unsure. As I look up and into the lightening sky I see the green of his eyes and yes once more his soul. And then as if I am blind I see nothing at all. It feels as if I have spent a good hour in the darkness. But then something tells me that it has been a lot longer then that. As the darkness starts to lift I can feel first the purple haze and then the arms and the hands. But more then that I can feel the uncertainty in the room. It hurt to open my eyes but I know that I have no choice but to do just that. I look up and right into the dark and the light or is it the good and the evil? Once again I am uncertain. As uncertain as I am about weather it is a smile or a grimace. I can see that it is day light shining through the edges of my drawn shades. And I can also feel that he is still in the room, which scares me for some reason, but I'm not sure as to why. I try to sit up the room but as I do the room starts to tip. So I lean back but this time it's not into Kanes arms but into Takers. As he raps his arms around me I realize that I am there to stay. That by not using my spell when I could have that I have closed the door on ever using it on him. So now my fate is completely in his hands. Weather he uses the choices to let me save him or weather he chooses to take my soul only time will tell. I know that I should be scared but well what ever his choice will be now there is nothing I can do about it. Kane reaches out and after giving me a sip of water gently kisses my lips. I then feel myself slowly being laid down between them as sleep over takes me once again. But this sleep will be peaceful for all of us because tonight it will be his fight. And when it is done we will have either won or lost. Or maybe some of us will win while others lose?
Author Notes: Please Read and Review. I do know that it is a little strange but some times we just have to write them as we think them. So if you wish to flame me for it go ahead because I can take it. But let me know either way what you think of it. Also a special thanks to those of you who have sent me Reviews they are appreciated.
Thanks,
Cat Lea
Takersdarkone@msn.com