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A/N ((9/5/03)): My first "Rietro," if you can call it that. I'm not sure if I can pull this off; I'm a little rusty when it comes to romance. So sue me, I prefer humor! This title was originally for an Aululu fic (FFX) that I was going to write, but since I'm currently on an Evo streak, I just decided to give it to a Rietro. I've been reading a bunch of Rietros and Romys lately, and I was finally inspired enough to write my own. However, I won't guarantee that there'll be frequent updates; I'm also working on two other main fics - "When The Night Fades" and "Valentine?"- at the same time. I'm also getting ready to brainstorm My Patience's End, a Rogue/Sabertooth fic. Then there's the pain of high school homework...
*sigh* But anyway, please review. I won't take kindly to "You suck" or "I hate you" or any comments like that anymore. I'm hoping for reviews on the fic, not on the poor young author writing it. I will accept constructive criticism as long as the reviewer is positive that they're addressing an error or a way to help the fic become better. Suggestions on character outcomes and such are also welcome, but there's a fifty-fifty chance that I'll add it in since I usually think a fanfic out before writing it. That realization sucks, I know, but I've grown tired of people telling me to kill someone because they seem to be getting in the way of the two main characters getting together (trust me, there was a lot of them). Come on, people...without someone posing as an obstacle, where's the fun in the two getting together at the end?
*ahem* I sound mean now. Those of you who have read my funny fanfics are probably wondering why I'm not trying to add something laughable in my author's note. Though I doubt it, I'm beginning to think that a stick appears up my ass whenever I write a non-humor fic.
Whoo, look how long this author's note is. It's taken up three pages in my notebook, and my art teacher is giving me disapproving looks (I'm supposed to be drawing right now). Am I starting to rant? Peh...I'm not the ranting type so I'll just shut up and get the hell on with my fic.
~*~*~
He'd used her like a disposable object of temporary interest. He'd played with her heart as a form of cruel entertainment. He'd gotten her to fall in love with him, and then abandoned her in the cold after the game was over. He'd opened healing wounds and inflicted new ones. He'd shattered her spirit forever and again. There was nothing left of what was once known as Rogue.
She stared blankly out the water-streaked window. The drumming sound of the rain outside did little to soothe the flurry of emotions rushing through her. Fury. Betrayal. Sorrow. Hurt. Vulnerability. Shock. Fear. Bitterness. Misery. Despair. Pain. Nothing. She felt like a zombie, alive and dead. Something and nothing. She no longer possessed the will to live, but she couldn't bring herself to suicide. She wasn't gone enough for that. Not yet.
But no matter how gone she looked on the outside, she couldn't keep the memories buried within. Remy. He'd seemed so sincere, so loving...cliché. Why hadn't she seen it? He'd played her for a fool...and that was exactly what she was. A blind fool who hadn't seen through the charming words and embraces. But how could she see when he covered her eyes with his presence? So she'd fallen in with his game, unknowingly playing along. She'd amused him, held his interest for a little while. And he had her. He had her right where he wanted her. Then...that was it. The end. Of them. Of him. Of everything.
She wanted to hate him. So much. He deserved to be condemned to hell for what he'd done to her. She tried to focus her fury and hatred at him, but she couldn't. He'd left her weak. Too weak to even bring to surface such strong emotions. They were trapped inside, consuming what remained of her. She was unable to dispel them. She was unable to do much anymore. She was withering away.
What did she feel now? Numbness. Her head refused to define anything else. Was she still in shock? Probably. Maybe because she thought she was cursed enough. But no...fate had more heartache in store for her. Life was cruel, and she didn't know what she'd done to deserve it all. Why was this happening to her?
She'd thought her life had changed when she met Remy LeBeau. He was a womanizer, she knew, but when he'd become interested in her, reason fled her mind and she'd surrendered to his seduction. And worse, she'd done it willingly. He broke through her barriers and reached the unreachable: her heart. Then he filled it with his pretty false words, forcing her to become enamored. He manipulated her -a bothered sixteen-year-old girl with enough problems- and toyed with her mind. And when she'd confessed her love for him, he laughed. It was a laugh she'd never heard from him. It sounded of amusement, relief, and triumph. He had won.
And he wasn't finished yet; he had to rub it in. He told her the nature and rules of the game, one she wasn't aware she was playing. She was a challenge of a lifetime, and he couldn't turn it down. He was basically confessing how he'd lied to her, how his promises were never to be kept. Their relationship was unreal from the beginning. He'd allowed her to imagine that it was there, that it was strong and unbreakable. But it never was. It never existed for him, only for her.
That was when she started to break. Of course, she hadn't believed him at first. She thought he was joking again to see her reaction. But the real joke was their being together. And when she realized that, she'd wrapped her bare hands around his throat, wanting nothing more than to kill him. But his memories and power flowed into her, and she had to tear herself away. Everything was clear to her then; his true intentions, what he really felt (or didn't feel) for her. She'd screamed at everyone, at everything. She hated them all: humans, mutants, God. She had to get away. She could never look into Remy's face again without feeling that sense of bitter betrayal. But he would remember her. He would never forget Rogue, the girl whose life he had destroyed. Her mark would always be on him, her curse clear in his thoughts. Her anguished cry will always ring in his ears. Her unbidden tears will always fill his dreams. She'd gazed down at his unconscious form, her emerald eyes blazing with heated disgust. She fell to her knees beside him and clasped her hands to either side of his face, absorbing him more. But her will had grown, and her determination to keep herself forever in him gave her strength. The strength to give him everything he deserved: all her emotions, her agony, and one piece of her shattered heart. She forced herself to push them into him, while more of his memories and mutation rushed into her.
She held on until she could no longer do so. With one last heart- wrenching cry, she pulled away, her nails raking across his right cheek. Unconsciousness descended over her for a few minutes, but she fought back and stumbled to her feet, her body weakened from the overload of memories and power. She gazed at the blood falling from the four deep scratches on his face and felt grim satisfaction. He was still alive, which was a shame for her at the moment. But it was better this way; he'd suffer the scars that were sure to stay, both on his skin and in his soul. He had made the wrong decision to play her, just to forget her later on. She'd given him something to remember her by, and that was her victory in this deceptive mess.
But nevertheless, the damage was done and she broke. Her pieces were scattered everywhere, some of them lost and never to be found. The X-Men weren't enough to help her...they had no idea what she was going through, they never did. And they obviously could not relate to what had happened to her. She couldn't be put back together; she wasn't even the incomplete puzzle they'd worked so hard to solve anymore.
She had withdrawn inside herself. Depression hung like a persistent thundercloud in the atmosphere around her, surrounding her body and becoming her aura...and it drove the others away, even Kitty. She hadn't talked to anyone in weeks, but she didn't feel alone. She didn't feel anything. Not anymore.
It had been a month since the whole incident, and she couldn't stop the images from replaying in her head like a continuous marathon. It was killing her, but she didn't care. She couldn't care. The days went by and all she did was eat, shower, sit, and sleep. She'd been given her own room and had followed her new daily routine like a robot, programmed to do all that was necessary to function, but not knowing why. The others were very concerned...the ones who cared about her most were near to panic. She was unaware of what her behavior did to them, though if she knew, she'd just feel even more guilt.
Gazing out the window had become her new hobby, which was what she was doing now. Sometimes something of interest would divert her attention from her mind, giving her a small sense of peace. Then she would return to her thoughts and continue to wilt. There was no permanent escape for her. Serenity was only a little temporary breath of fresh air. She'd turn back to her thoughts eventually.
She still had Remy's memories and had acquired his power, albeit not as in control as his. Her hand would charge an object randomly; she had no control over it, like she had no control over her own ability/curse. And now she didn't even have control of herself or her life. She'd lost it all.
Rogue was still staring out the window when Jamie knocked and opened the door. She barely noticed him and didn't acknowledge his presence. He took a few steps inside and called out softly, "Rogue?"
She didn't answer, didn't move.
He came closer. "Rogue?"
Still no answer.
"The Professor wants to see you. We all believe that he can help you get through this...he and Jean can erase some of the memories. Will you go?"
Silence.
He walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Rogue, say you'll go."
She continued to ignore him.
"Rogue, come on. The Professor's waiting," Jamie said, his voice wavering.
No sign of comprehension.
"Come on," he repeated. "You're family's worried and they wanna help. We can make you better. Just let us try."
Nothing.
Suddenly, he grabbed her shoulders and forced her to face him with surprising strength. "Don't shut us out! You can't do this to us! To me! Please don't shut me out, Rogue, I need you." He lowered his head and tried to stop the sob that rose in his throat. Damn, he'd promised himself that he wouldn't cry. "Do you know what you're doing to me? Do you?"
A spark of life briefly flickered in her dull eyes as she focused on him. So familiar... Her lips parted to say his name, but nothing came out. Had she forgotten how to speak already? She tried again, the first syllable of his name sounding in a ragged whisper.
He looked at her, tears escaping his wide eyes. His fingers were like a hawk's talons, clutching her shoulders as hope flared in him. Did she remember? Was she coming back? He hoped so. Her sorrow was eating at him, too. Whatever hurt her hurt him as well. He could feel her pain, probably more so than Kurt. They had a strong bond before and he wanted it back, without the negative emotions. He wanted the girl he thought of as an older sister back.
But it wouldn't be so. The recognition left her eyes and her expression became blank again. He sobbed in defeat and wrapped his arms around her stiff form, carefully avoiding her skin. He buried his face into her shoulder and wept. She didn't move as his tears soaked through her shirt. She didn't feel as his broken hearted cries reached her ears. But the Rogue within heard, and she cried with him...for everything.
In her heart she was no longer alive. Now all she could do was wait for her body to die as well.
~*~*~
She remembered. She remembered everything: her powers, her father, the asylum. She recalled how he'd ignored her pleads, how he'd left her there as if she wasn't his own daughter. She remembered her uncontrollable hatred, and her determination to destroy him. It all rushed back to her, and she knew that she had overcome the brainwashing. She would pick up where she left off.
Wanda threw the covers from her body and climbed out of her bed. But there was something different about how she felt. She still hated her father with the same intensity as before, but...she could control it. Her mind was clear even as she thought of those days in the asylum. She could control her powers and emotions. And that just made her all the more dangerous.
She walked into the hallway without even bothering to be quiet; she knew that it would take at least a tornado to wake Lance, Todd, Pietro, and Fred up. Pietro. She didn't hate her brother as much anymore. He'd proven to be unlike their father, though he still had his faults. Well, all brothers had their flaws, she supposed. At least she didn't feel like killing him.
But where would she go now? She didn't know where Magneto was hiding. Maybe it would be better to wait it out. That way she would prove her newfound control to everyone, including herself. They would meet up with him eventually anyway, and it would give her time to plan her next move. Should she surprise them all by revealing that she remembered? Yes, it would be interesting to see the expression on Magneto's face when she started raving again on how much he deserved to die. No wait, she wouldn't rave. Only insane, revenge-bent people raved. She wasn't the wild daughter he'd left at the asylum so many years ago. She was the calm Scarlet Witch who had evolved from Wanda Maximoff, Magneto's own Grim Reaper. Her fury would be contained inside her, unleashed only when she was face to face with the man who was once her father.
Wanda pondered on this consideration. She would show them all how wrong he was, and she would be the justified one in this family war. She decided that she would wait it out after all. Patience was relevant now. She turned and strode back to her room. Besides, once she cornered him, he'd have no where to run...
~*~*~
A/N ((9/5/03)): Ahhh...my motivation started to fade at the end, could you tell? I started growing lazy again, and I may have to rewrite this chapter later on. I struggle whenever I try to write a genre I haven't written for a long time. And even though I got Evanescence blaring loudly behind me, I'm still having problems concentrating on the mood.
Updated A/N ((11/23/03)): I decided to have Wanda as a main character here, also. She'll play an essential part in later chapters...I'm sure of it. But it's been two months since I planned to upload this fic. Yes, I'd planned to post it up back in September, but I guess I forgot. Now I'm not even sure where this plot was supposed to go. *cries* Curses, and this was to be one of my better fics!
A/N ((9/5/03)): My first "Rietro," if you can call it that. I'm not sure if I can pull this off; I'm a little rusty when it comes to romance. So sue me, I prefer humor! This title was originally for an Aululu fic (FFX) that I was going to write, but since I'm currently on an Evo streak, I just decided to give it to a Rietro. I've been reading a bunch of Rietros and Romys lately, and I was finally inspired enough to write my own. However, I won't guarantee that there'll be frequent updates; I'm also working on two other main fics - "When The Night Fades" and "Valentine?"- at the same time. I'm also getting ready to brainstorm My Patience's End, a Rogue/Sabertooth fic. Then there's the pain of high school homework...
*sigh* But anyway, please review. I won't take kindly to "You suck" or "I hate you" or any comments like that anymore. I'm hoping for reviews on the fic, not on the poor young author writing it. I will accept constructive criticism as long as the reviewer is positive that they're addressing an error or a way to help the fic become better. Suggestions on character outcomes and such are also welcome, but there's a fifty-fifty chance that I'll add it in since I usually think a fanfic out before writing it. That realization sucks, I know, but I've grown tired of people telling me to kill someone because they seem to be getting in the way of the two main characters getting together (trust me, there was a lot of them). Come on, people...without someone posing as an obstacle, where's the fun in the two getting together at the end?
*ahem* I sound mean now. Those of you who have read my funny fanfics are probably wondering why I'm not trying to add something laughable in my author's note. Though I doubt it, I'm beginning to think that a stick appears up my ass whenever I write a non-humor fic.
Whoo, look how long this author's note is. It's taken up three pages in my notebook, and my art teacher is giving me disapproving looks (I'm supposed to be drawing right now). Am I starting to rant? Peh...I'm not the ranting type so I'll just shut up and get the hell on with my fic.
~*~*~
He'd used her like a disposable object of temporary interest. He'd played with her heart as a form of cruel entertainment. He'd gotten her to fall in love with him, and then abandoned her in the cold after the game was over. He'd opened healing wounds and inflicted new ones. He'd shattered her spirit forever and again. There was nothing left of what was once known as Rogue.
She stared blankly out the water-streaked window. The drumming sound of the rain outside did little to soothe the flurry of emotions rushing through her. Fury. Betrayal. Sorrow. Hurt. Vulnerability. Shock. Fear. Bitterness. Misery. Despair. Pain. Nothing. She felt like a zombie, alive and dead. Something and nothing. She no longer possessed the will to live, but she couldn't bring herself to suicide. She wasn't gone enough for that. Not yet.
But no matter how gone she looked on the outside, she couldn't keep the memories buried within. Remy. He'd seemed so sincere, so loving...cliché. Why hadn't she seen it? He'd played her for a fool...and that was exactly what she was. A blind fool who hadn't seen through the charming words and embraces. But how could she see when he covered her eyes with his presence? So she'd fallen in with his game, unknowingly playing along. She'd amused him, held his interest for a little while. And he had her. He had her right where he wanted her. Then...that was it. The end. Of them. Of him. Of everything.
She wanted to hate him. So much. He deserved to be condemned to hell for what he'd done to her. She tried to focus her fury and hatred at him, but she couldn't. He'd left her weak. Too weak to even bring to surface such strong emotions. They were trapped inside, consuming what remained of her. She was unable to dispel them. She was unable to do much anymore. She was withering away.
What did she feel now? Numbness. Her head refused to define anything else. Was she still in shock? Probably. Maybe because she thought she was cursed enough. But no...fate had more heartache in store for her. Life was cruel, and she didn't know what she'd done to deserve it all. Why was this happening to her?
She'd thought her life had changed when she met Remy LeBeau. He was a womanizer, she knew, but when he'd become interested in her, reason fled her mind and she'd surrendered to his seduction. And worse, she'd done it willingly. He broke through her barriers and reached the unreachable: her heart. Then he filled it with his pretty false words, forcing her to become enamored. He manipulated her -a bothered sixteen-year-old girl with enough problems- and toyed with her mind. And when she'd confessed her love for him, he laughed. It was a laugh she'd never heard from him. It sounded of amusement, relief, and triumph. He had won.
And he wasn't finished yet; he had to rub it in. He told her the nature and rules of the game, one she wasn't aware she was playing. She was a challenge of a lifetime, and he couldn't turn it down. He was basically confessing how he'd lied to her, how his promises were never to be kept. Their relationship was unreal from the beginning. He'd allowed her to imagine that it was there, that it was strong and unbreakable. But it never was. It never existed for him, only for her.
That was when she started to break. Of course, she hadn't believed him at first. She thought he was joking again to see her reaction. But the real joke was their being together. And when she realized that, she'd wrapped her bare hands around his throat, wanting nothing more than to kill him. But his memories and power flowed into her, and she had to tear herself away. Everything was clear to her then; his true intentions, what he really felt (or didn't feel) for her. She'd screamed at everyone, at everything. She hated them all: humans, mutants, God. She had to get away. She could never look into Remy's face again without feeling that sense of bitter betrayal. But he would remember her. He would never forget Rogue, the girl whose life he had destroyed. Her mark would always be on him, her curse clear in his thoughts. Her anguished cry will always ring in his ears. Her unbidden tears will always fill his dreams. She'd gazed down at his unconscious form, her emerald eyes blazing with heated disgust. She fell to her knees beside him and clasped her hands to either side of his face, absorbing him more. But her will had grown, and her determination to keep herself forever in him gave her strength. The strength to give him everything he deserved: all her emotions, her agony, and one piece of her shattered heart. She forced herself to push them into him, while more of his memories and mutation rushed into her.
She held on until she could no longer do so. With one last heart- wrenching cry, she pulled away, her nails raking across his right cheek. Unconsciousness descended over her for a few minutes, but she fought back and stumbled to her feet, her body weakened from the overload of memories and power. She gazed at the blood falling from the four deep scratches on his face and felt grim satisfaction. He was still alive, which was a shame for her at the moment. But it was better this way; he'd suffer the scars that were sure to stay, both on his skin and in his soul. He had made the wrong decision to play her, just to forget her later on. She'd given him something to remember her by, and that was her victory in this deceptive mess.
But nevertheless, the damage was done and she broke. Her pieces were scattered everywhere, some of them lost and never to be found. The X-Men weren't enough to help her...they had no idea what she was going through, they never did. And they obviously could not relate to what had happened to her. She couldn't be put back together; she wasn't even the incomplete puzzle they'd worked so hard to solve anymore.
She had withdrawn inside herself. Depression hung like a persistent thundercloud in the atmosphere around her, surrounding her body and becoming her aura...and it drove the others away, even Kitty. She hadn't talked to anyone in weeks, but she didn't feel alone. She didn't feel anything. Not anymore.
It had been a month since the whole incident, and she couldn't stop the images from replaying in her head like a continuous marathon. It was killing her, but she didn't care. She couldn't care. The days went by and all she did was eat, shower, sit, and sleep. She'd been given her own room and had followed her new daily routine like a robot, programmed to do all that was necessary to function, but not knowing why. The others were very concerned...the ones who cared about her most were near to panic. She was unaware of what her behavior did to them, though if she knew, she'd just feel even more guilt.
Gazing out the window had become her new hobby, which was what she was doing now. Sometimes something of interest would divert her attention from her mind, giving her a small sense of peace. Then she would return to her thoughts and continue to wilt. There was no permanent escape for her. Serenity was only a little temporary breath of fresh air. She'd turn back to her thoughts eventually.
She still had Remy's memories and had acquired his power, albeit not as in control as his. Her hand would charge an object randomly; she had no control over it, like she had no control over her own ability/curse. And now she didn't even have control of herself or her life. She'd lost it all.
Rogue was still staring out the window when Jamie knocked and opened the door. She barely noticed him and didn't acknowledge his presence. He took a few steps inside and called out softly, "Rogue?"
She didn't answer, didn't move.
He came closer. "Rogue?"
Still no answer.
"The Professor wants to see you. We all believe that he can help you get through this...he and Jean can erase some of the memories. Will you go?"
Silence.
He walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Rogue, say you'll go."
She continued to ignore him.
"Rogue, come on. The Professor's waiting," Jamie said, his voice wavering.
No sign of comprehension.
"Come on," he repeated. "You're family's worried and they wanna help. We can make you better. Just let us try."
Nothing.
Suddenly, he grabbed her shoulders and forced her to face him with surprising strength. "Don't shut us out! You can't do this to us! To me! Please don't shut me out, Rogue, I need you." He lowered his head and tried to stop the sob that rose in his throat. Damn, he'd promised himself that he wouldn't cry. "Do you know what you're doing to me? Do you?"
A spark of life briefly flickered in her dull eyes as she focused on him. So familiar... Her lips parted to say his name, but nothing came out. Had she forgotten how to speak already? She tried again, the first syllable of his name sounding in a ragged whisper.
He looked at her, tears escaping his wide eyes. His fingers were like a hawk's talons, clutching her shoulders as hope flared in him. Did she remember? Was she coming back? He hoped so. Her sorrow was eating at him, too. Whatever hurt her hurt him as well. He could feel her pain, probably more so than Kurt. They had a strong bond before and he wanted it back, without the negative emotions. He wanted the girl he thought of as an older sister back.
But it wouldn't be so. The recognition left her eyes and her expression became blank again. He sobbed in defeat and wrapped his arms around her stiff form, carefully avoiding her skin. He buried his face into her shoulder and wept. She didn't move as his tears soaked through her shirt. She didn't feel as his broken hearted cries reached her ears. But the Rogue within heard, and she cried with him...for everything.
In her heart she was no longer alive. Now all she could do was wait for her body to die as well.
~*~*~
She remembered. She remembered everything: her powers, her father, the asylum. She recalled how he'd ignored her pleads, how he'd left her there as if she wasn't his own daughter. She remembered her uncontrollable hatred, and her determination to destroy him. It all rushed back to her, and she knew that she had overcome the brainwashing. She would pick up where she left off.
Wanda threw the covers from her body and climbed out of her bed. But there was something different about how she felt. She still hated her father with the same intensity as before, but...she could control it. Her mind was clear even as she thought of those days in the asylum. She could control her powers and emotions. And that just made her all the more dangerous.
She walked into the hallway without even bothering to be quiet; she knew that it would take at least a tornado to wake Lance, Todd, Pietro, and Fred up. Pietro. She didn't hate her brother as much anymore. He'd proven to be unlike their father, though he still had his faults. Well, all brothers had their flaws, she supposed. At least she didn't feel like killing him.
But where would she go now? She didn't know where Magneto was hiding. Maybe it would be better to wait it out. That way she would prove her newfound control to everyone, including herself. They would meet up with him eventually anyway, and it would give her time to plan her next move. Should she surprise them all by revealing that she remembered? Yes, it would be interesting to see the expression on Magneto's face when she started raving again on how much he deserved to die. No wait, she wouldn't rave. Only insane, revenge-bent people raved. She wasn't the wild daughter he'd left at the asylum so many years ago. She was the calm Scarlet Witch who had evolved from Wanda Maximoff, Magneto's own Grim Reaper. Her fury would be contained inside her, unleashed only when she was face to face with the man who was once her father.
Wanda pondered on this consideration. She would show them all how wrong he was, and she would be the justified one in this family war. She decided that she would wait it out after all. Patience was relevant now. She turned and strode back to her room. Besides, once she cornered him, he'd have no where to run...
~*~*~
A/N ((9/5/03)): Ahhh...my motivation started to fade at the end, could you tell? I started growing lazy again, and I may have to rewrite this chapter later on. I struggle whenever I try to write a genre I haven't written for a long time. And even though I got Evanescence blaring loudly behind me, I'm still having problems concentrating on the mood.
Updated A/N ((11/23/03)): I decided to have Wanda as a main character here, also. She'll play an essential part in later chapters...I'm sure of it. But it's been two months since I planned to upload this fic. Yes, I'd planned to post it up back in September, but I guess I forgot. Now I'm not even sure where this plot was supposed to go. *cries* Curses, and this was to be one of my better fics!