Chapter Seventy-nine

While Millicent supported a very pale Pansy. Araminta consulted A Magical Guide to Mpreg. "It's all right, Pansy. He's supposed to look like that."

Pansy nodded dubiously. "Um, okay. If you say so."

Araminta pointed to the illustration. "They match, right?"

The Pansy and Millicent scrutinized the drawing. Millicent was satisfied. "If that's not a Snape, I'll eat my wimple."

The most striking part, though, was that both the illustration and the man had the same swollen, distended stomach. However, the Snape in the flesh was having a minor problem with his. His bellybutton had expanded to at least three times the normal size and an ectoplasmic green glow radiated outward.

"It's nowhere near big enough..." Pansy stretched out her finger but Snape slapped it away.

"Keep your finger out of there! That's how we got into this mess in the first place."

"How was I supposed to know?" Pansy protested. "I thought that thing about sticking your finger in somebody's bellybutton was just a joke. And you did have a lot of lint in there--you didn't expect me to be intimate with something furry, did you?"

"I didn't think it would be such a problem," Snape said, eying Pansy's giraffe costume. "Besides--"

Millicent interrupted them with a high-pitched scream. She too clutched her stomach.

"Did you have the fish tonight, Millie?" Araminta asked with concern.

Pansy rolled her eyes. "Sympathy contraction. She gets them all the time."

"N-no," Millicent cried. "Not sympathetic. Time."

"What?" Araminta thought that Millicent would feel sorry for her head of house, and you couldn't call a time-out for pain.

"She's got a bun in the oven too," Pansy explained. "Haven't you noticed that her eating patterns have changed?"

"No, I just thought she was strange. How did this happen? Millicent isn't going out with anybody."

"It runs in my family," Millicent gasped. "Parthenogenesis," she explained.

"Help me get her on the bed."

Araminta and Pansy tried to make Millicent comfortable. They soon realized that this was a losing battle (and they hated being losers), so Araminta sent Pansy to search the tack room for a pair of stirrups while she measured Snape.

"Hmm, if you're going to give birth to a golf ball, you just may be able to squeeze it through." Araminta moved over to Millicent's bed and discreetly peered beneath her robes. "Millicent's got you beat for dilation."

"Jolly good," Snape said sarcastically. "Five points to Slytherin."

"You're just jealous because she's going to have an easier birth," said Araminta.

Pansy returned empty-handed. "I think we're going to have to do this the old-fashioned way."

"Weren't--we--already?" Snape asked, bearing down. "Argh!" he yelled, as his bellybutton rapidly increased in diameter and the green glow intensified.

Millicent followed his contraction, gripping the handrails of her hospital bed. "Race you!" she shouted, bearing down.

"I will not lose to a student!" Snape pressed his hands against his sides, urging the baby out.

Araminta ran back and forth between the two. Luckily, both babies seemed to be progressing normally. She didn't know what she would have done for a breech birth.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" cried Millicent.

Snape matched her in a baritone: "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnh!"

They finished at the same time, Millicent giving a mighty heave and Snape arching on the bed as their respective orifices were stretched to the max.

"It's a girl; it's a boy," Araminta proclaimed. "There, I've cut the cords."

"You do mean one of each, don't you?" Snape queried wearily as he reached for his son, who was being swaddled by Araminta.

"I've got the girl!" Millicent sighed, cuddling it close as it gave its first frail cry.

Pansy climbed onto the bed, curling up next to Snape. "He's beautiful. What are we going to call him?"

"Blake," Snape answered fondly. "Oh, he's got his daddy's hair, yes he does."

"Oh! I need a name for my baby too," Millicent said, apparently thinking of this for the first time.

"Her name's Selene," Araminta said absentmindedly as she used a cleaning charm on basically everything in the room, including herself. She considered Obliviating parts of this evening from her memory as well. "Listen, will you guys be okay? I'd like to catch the last of the dance..."

"Sure," everyone said.

"And thank you," Snape added, his dark eyes brimming with joyous tears.