Chapter Five
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"What are we going to do, there is no way he can go back to that house now. This thing could have been going on all summer, or worse. I just don't understand why he didn't tell any of us in his letters. Why would he keep something like this to himself?" Tonks said to Remus and Moody who were sitting in chairs that sat on opposite ends of the couch that she was sitting on with Harry asleep with his head resting on her lap.
"I would say that Potter here did not tell us because he did not want us to think he was weak, and couldn't take care of a little muggle. Well, okay I wouldn't say little, but you get my point. You said that he wants to join the order, well he probably didn't want us to know so we could hold it against him, and I think we should respect his wishes and keep it a secret," said Moody.
"I do have a one question for you though Tonks, and I hope you don't take any affence to this, but why have you started being so motherly towards Harry?" Moody asked.
"Because I want to, and he needs me, if you must know, and if you have a problem with that then please keep it to yourself," Tonks said in an irritated way.
"Easy Tonks, Moody didn't mean anything by it, he was just curious. I mean I asked you the same question when you fought us so hard to be the one to write his letters to him," Remus said.
"I know, it's just, when I saw him for the first time in fourteen years last year, I couldn't help but see how he looked exactly like James, but with those beautiful eyes that he got from Lilly. Can you remember Remus when Harry was about eight months old how those eyes of his would instantly brighten when he would see you, Sirius, or me? Seeing those eyes again last year just brought all of those memories back. Then when I was talking to his friend Hermione last year, she told me when we were talking about how quickly Harry had taken to Sirius, that Harry was worried that his mother would be upset with him since he knew so much about James, and so little about her. I don't know but from that point on I have wanted to be there for Harry more than anything, and no one is going to stop me from doing just that," said Tonks as she gently stroked Harry's hair.
DING, DONG. "AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! TRASH AND TRAITORS ARE IN MY HOME! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" the picture of Sirius's mother yelled as Remus quickly tried to let in who ever was on the other side of the door.
"Oh Albus, it's nice of you to stop by, would you like some tea? Harry, Tonks, and Moody are all in the drawing room," said Remus.
"Oh that would be wonderful, I trust your flight was okay, and that you got him here safely since I didn't here a word from any of you last night," Dumbeldore said.
"No he is here safely, except he got quite a chill without having on proper clothing. We had to leave in quite a hurry, but he seems fine now, and he may still be asleep in the other room if my silencing charm worked. I think Harry also has something he would like to ask everyone today at the meeting if that would be okay with you," Remus said.
Albus just stood there with a knowing look towards Remus that he knew quite well what Harry was going to ask. "Yes that will be fine Remus, I believe I will just wait in the other room with them till the rest of the order arrives if that is okay with you," Dumbeldore said."
About twenty minutes later all of the order had arrived and went to the kitchen to have their meeting while Remus told Harry to wait in the drawing room till he called him in.
Harry could vaguely hear everyone talking, and an occasional outburst from one of the members, but he couldn't make out really what the topic was about. Okay Harry this is your chance to make a difference. They need you and it is time you be a man, and do something about what's going on, Harry thought to himself as he walked back in forth in the drawing room trying to build up the courage he needed to address the order. Surely they know how important this is to me, I mean my parents and Sirius where all members of the order, and I think it is time I try to get back at the people who have taken everything away from me that I cherished.
"Harry, the meeting is over now, it's time for you to address the order about you joining, if you are ready?" Remus said.
"As ready as I'll ever be," said Harry as they made their way into the kitchen were the rest of the order were sitting.
"Hello their dear, how have you been?" Mrs. Weasley asked as her husband kept a firm grasp on her shoulder so she wouldn't go hug him in front of everyone.
"I'm okay, thanks for asking," Harry said.
"Well I believe you are here for a reason are you not Potter, or are we all going to just ogle at him. Quite frankly I see far to much of him as it is," Snape said.
"Yes actually," said Harry after he glared coldly at Snape.
"I have been thinking a lot about it, and I think it is time I joined the order to help you out the best I can. Tonks, Remus and Moody can all attest to the increase in my magic level, all I need from everyone else is a chance and their acceptance," Harry said in as bold a tone as he could muster.
As Harry looked at all of the faces present, he could see Tonks and Remus nodding and smiling. Moody, well I can never tell by his facial expressions seeing as he doesn't really have any now. Snape looked like he was ready to go berserk, and Molly looked like she was on the verge of pulling her hair out if Dumbeldore agreed. As Harry eyes traveled over to the aged headmaster, he could see Dumbeldore with his fingers steepled staring at Harry with a look he could not really decipher.
"Harry, it is a great honor as I am sure everyone here feels that you want to join the order of the phoenix.
"Humph," mumbled Snape.
I have known for quite some time that you would want to pledge you services to the order, and I am proud that you have not let me down," Dumbeldore said to Harry.
This is it Harry thought I am finally going to make my parents and Sirius proud of me. I am finally going to be a part of something. Harry thought to himself.
"However, my answer is no, I cannot allow you into the order at this time. When I feel you are ready I will come myself and ask for your services, but until then I ask that you lay low, and stay out of trouble," Dumbeldore said in the all annoying calm tone of voice.
Harry felt like a bucket of ice water had just been poured into his stomach. I don't understand he thought to himself. I am the one who must defeat Voldemort and yet I am not good enough for the order. The order my parents fought in. The order my godfather fought in and died, and I am not good enough for it. Harry had a million thoughts running through his head as he felt a hand come to rest on his arm, bringing him out of his stopper.
"I'm tired, I believe I am going to go to bed now," Harry said. As quickly as he could while maintaining his dignity, Harry made his way up the stairs to the bedroom that he shared with Ron last year. As he was making his way up to his room he could hear Tonks and Remus voicing their opinions to Albus about his answer.
"How could you Albus, you didn't have to actually let him do anything. All he wanted was to be a part of something, and to feel that he was making an effort toward stopping the evil that is going on now," Tonks said.
"You know what Tonks, I am surprised that you or Remus did not take into consideration Harry's well being. Did you ever think of that? I thought you were trying to push you way into Harry's life where he would look at you as more of a parent figure then just a friend. I for one stand behind Albus whole heartily and since I consider Harry as one of my own children, I question your judgment towards Harry. You two best not forget that Harry is still a child and he needs us to help him along the way and to keep him out of danger," Mrs. Weasley said towards Tonks and Remus.
"Molly, Harry loves you very much and has always felt close to you and your family, but I warn you now, and I will not say this again, that you best never say that I don't have Harry's best interest at heart again. I love him as much or more then anyone, and I will die to protect him. Now I am quite aware that you have taken it upon yourself to look after Harry as one of your own. Well so have I, I may not have the experience you do in dealing with children, but I will take care of Harry as I know Lilly would have wanted," Tonks said with her voice continually getting higher till Remus cut in.
"Well I think that does it for this meeting. I'll walk you all out," Remus said as he and Arthur tried to pull Molly out of the kitchen where she and Tonks were staring daggers at each other.
"You think just because Harry has gotten close to you as well that you can become a mother figure to him to. Now you listen here Nymphadora Tonks, Harry is not some doll that you can show love and affection to and them toss him aside when you don't feel that way any longer, and I will not stand here and let you do that to him. He has been through too much, and his little heart can not take any more cracks," Molly said as if she could pounce on Tonks at any second.
"I would never do that to Harry, I love that boy as if he was my own flesh and blood. I was there when he was born and helped take care of him while Lilly and James where still alive. And I plan to never let Harry leave my grasps again. I don't know if this is because you are jealous that Harry feels this way toward me as he does toward you, but I will not let you stand in my way. Harry deserves as much love as he can get, and I know completely that I am the one to do it," Tonks said as if challenging Molly to say something else.
"Well where were you before a year ago? I didn't see you then as Harry's mother figure. As a matter of fact, I remember quite well that Harry arrived at the train station alone when he was only eleven years old and looking quite lost. The poor dear didn't even now how to go through the gate. I hope you are not doing this for him now because Harry has become even more famous then he was before, since he and Albus where the only ones who went public about You-Know-Who being back," Molly said in an accusatory tone.
"GET OUT, GET OUT OF HERE NOW, and don't you ever voice that opinion of me towards Harry ever or you will be sorry," Tonks hissed with tears streaking down here face.
"Quite a scary situation if you ask me. I would rather dress in drag and visit a muggle jail then have to go into a room where those to brauds are facing off again," Mundungus said to Kingsley Shacklebolt as they were walking out the front door.
That night Harry lay awake in bed oblivious to the fact that Tonks and Molly Weasley had faced off about Harry while he was feeling crestfallen after being denied acceptance into the order from Dumbeldore.
I won't let you down mom, dad, and Sirius. I promise I will think of something. It's my fight and I don't care what Dumbeldore says, Harry thought as he tried to fall asleep on the lumpy mattress beneath him.
(((
Thank you for all of the reviews everyone. I won't tell you exactly what is going on yet, you will have to wait for the next chapter and see, but I would like to clear up a few things. One I know that the Dursley's in the book have never really hit Harry, but there are things that could have taken place in this story anyhow that could have effected their thinking. I also took a different approach on Harry's depression. I know in the book he is not (everyone dies because of me), but the way he feels in my story fits my story plot better. I am also sorry for those of you who wanted Tonks and Harry to have a relationship. Tonks is one of my favorite characters now, but I think she is just to old for Harry. This chapter should have explained Tonks's intentions toward Harry. Trust me though Harry will definitely find someone later, and if you want though to I could let Tonks get together with someone as well. It is not in my story plan, but I am flexible if it is what everyone would like. Until then I hope you enjoy, and all reviews are welcome, and thanks again for taking your time to review.
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"What are we going to do, there is no way he can go back to that house now. This thing could have been going on all summer, or worse. I just don't understand why he didn't tell any of us in his letters. Why would he keep something like this to himself?" Tonks said to Remus and Moody who were sitting in chairs that sat on opposite ends of the couch that she was sitting on with Harry asleep with his head resting on her lap.
"I would say that Potter here did not tell us because he did not want us to think he was weak, and couldn't take care of a little muggle. Well, okay I wouldn't say little, but you get my point. You said that he wants to join the order, well he probably didn't want us to know so we could hold it against him, and I think we should respect his wishes and keep it a secret," said Moody.
"I do have a one question for you though Tonks, and I hope you don't take any affence to this, but why have you started being so motherly towards Harry?" Moody asked.
"Because I want to, and he needs me, if you must know, and if you have a problem with that then please keep it to yourself," Tonks said in an irritated way.
"Easy Tonks, Moody didn't mean anything by it, he was just curious. I mean I asked you the same question when you fought us so hard to be the one to write his letters to him," Remus said.
"I know, it's just, when I saw him for the first time in fourteen years last year, I couldn't help but see how he looked exactly like James, but with those beautiful eyes that he got from Lilly. Can you remember Remus when Harry was about eight months old how those eyes of his would instantly brighten when he would see you, Sirius, or me? Seeing those eyes again last year just brought all of those memories back. Then when I was talking to his friend Hermione last year, she told me when we were talking about how quickly Harry had taken to Sirius, that Harry was worried that his mother would be upset with him since he knew so much about James, and so little about her. I don't know but from that point on I have wanted to be there for Harry more than anything, and no one is going to stop me from doing just that," said Tonks as she gently stroked Harry's hair.
DING, DONG. "AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! TRASH AND TRAITORS ARE IN MY HOME! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" the picture of Sirius's mother yelled as Remus quickly tried to let in who ever was on the other side of the door.
"Oh Albus, it's nice of you to stop by, would you like some tea? Harry, Tonks, and Moody are all in the drawing room," said Remus.
"Oh that would be wonderful, I trust your flight was okay, and that you got him here safely since I didn't here a word from any of you last night," Dumbeldore said.
"No he is here safely, except he got quite a chill without having on proper clothing. We had to leave in quite a hurry, but he seems fine now, and he may still be asleep in the other room if my silencing charm worked. I think Harry also has something he would like to ask everyone today at the meeting if that would be okay with you," Remus said.
Albus just stood there with a knowing look towards Remus that he knew quite well what Harry was going to ask. "Yes that will be fine Remus, I believe I will just wait in the other room with them till the rest of the order arrives if that is okay with you," Dumbeldore said."
About twenty minutes later all of the order had arrived and went to the kitchen to have their meeting while Remus told Harry to wait in the drawing room till he called him in.
Harry could vaguely hear everyone talking, and an occasional outburst from one of the members, but he couldn't make out really what the topic was about. Okay Harry this is your chance to make a difference. They need you and it is time you be a man, and do something about what's going on, Harry thought to himself as he walked back in forth in the drawing room trying to build up the courage he needed to address the order. Surely they know how important this is to me, I mean my parents and Sirius where all members of the order, and I think it is time I try to get back at the people who have taken everything away from me that I cherished.
"Harry, the meeting is over now, it's time for you to address the order about you joining, if you are ready?" Remus said.
"As ready as I'll ever be," said Harry as they made their way into the kitchen were the rest of the order were sitting.
"Hello their dear, how have you been?" Mrs. Weasley asked as her husband kept a firm grasp on her shoulder so she wouldn't go hug him in front of everyone.
"I'm okay, thanks for asking," Harry said.
"Well I believe you are here for a reason are you not Potter, or are we all going to just ogle at him. Quite frankly I see far to much of him as it is," Snape said.
"Yes actually," said Harry after he glared coldly at Snape.
"I have been thinking a lot about it, and I think it is time I joined the order to help you out the best I can. Tonks, Remus and Moody can all attest to the increase in my magic level, all I need from everyone else is a chance and their acceptance," Harry said in as bold a tone as he could muster.
As Harry looked at all of the faces present, he could see Tonks and Remus nodding and smiling. Moody, well I can never tell by his facial expressions seeing as he doesn't really have any now. Snape looked like he was ready to go berserk, and Molly looked like she was on the verge of pulling her hair out if Dumbeldore agreed. As Harry eyes traveled over to the aged headmaster, he could see Dumbeldore with his fingers steepled staring at Harry with a look he could not really decipher.
"Harry, it is a great honor as I am sure everyone here feels that you want to join the order of the phoenix.
"Humph," mumbled Snape.
I have known for quite some time that you would want to pledge you services to the order, and I am proud that you have not let me down," Dumbeldore said to Harry.
This is it Harry thought I am finally going to make my parents and Sirius proud of me. I am finally going to be a part of something. Harry thought to himself.
"However, my answer is no, I cannot allow you into the order at this time. When I feel you are ready I will come myself and ask for your services, but until then I ask that you lay low, and stay out of trouble," Dumbeldore said in the all annoying calm tone of voice.
Harry felt like a bucket of ice water had just been poured into his stomach. I don't understand he thought to himself. I am the one who must defeat Voldemort and yet I am not good enough for the order. The order my parents fought in. The order my godfather fought in and died, and I am not good enough for it. Harry had a million thoughts running through his head as he felt a hand come to rest on his arm, bringing him out of his stopper.
"I'm tired, I believe I am going to go to bed now," Harry said. As quickly as he could while maintaining his dignity, Harry made his way up the stairs to the bedroom that he shared with Ron last year. As he was making his way up to his room he could hear Tonks and Remus voicing their opinions to Albus about his answer.
"How could you Albus, you didn't have to actually let him do anything. All he wanted was to be a part of something, and to feel that he was making an effort toward stopping the evil that is going on now," Tonks said.
"You know what Tonks, I am surprised that you or Remus did not take into consideration Harry's well being. Did you ever think of that? I thought you were trying to push you way into Harry's life where he would look at you as more of a parent figure then just a friend. I for one stand behind Albus whole heartily and since I consider Harry as one of my own children, I question your judgment towards Harry. You two best not forget that Harry is still a child and he needs us to help him along the way and to keep him out of danger," Mrs. Weasley said towards Tonks and Remus.
"Molly, Harry loves you very much and has always felt close to you and your family, but I warn you now, and I will not say this again, that you best never say that I don't have Harry's best interest at heart again. I love him as much or more then anyone, and I will die to protect him. Now I am quite aware that you have taken it upon yourself to look after Harry as one of your own. Well so have I, I may not have the experience you do in dealing with children, but I will take care of Harry as I know Lilly would have wanted," Tonks said with her voice continually getting higher till Remus cut in.
"Well I think that does it for this meeting. I'll walk you all out," Remus said as he and Arthur tried to pull Molly out of the kitchen where she and Tonks were staring daggers at each other.
"You think just because Harry has gotten close to you as well that you can become a mother figure to him to. Now you listen here Nymphadora Tonks, Harry is not some doll that you can show love and affection to and them toss him aside when you don't feel that way any longer, and I will not stand here and let you do that to him. He has been through too much, and his little heart can not take any more cracks," Molly said as if she could pounce on Tonks at any second.
"I would never do that to Harry, I love that boy as if he was my own flesh and blood. I was there when he was born and helped take care of him while Lilly and James where still alive. And I plan to never let Harry leave my grasps again. I don't know if this is because you are jealous that Harry feels this way toward me as he does toward you, but I will not let you stand in my way. Harry deserves as much love as he can get, and I know completely that I am the one to do it," Tonks said as if challenging Molly to say something else.
"Well where were you before a year ago? I didn't see you then as Harry's mother figure. As a matter of fact, I remember quite well that Harry arrived at the train station alone when he was only eleven years old and looking quite lost. The poor dear didn't even now how to go through the gate. I hope you are not doing this for him now because Harry has become even more famous then he was before, since he and Albus where the only ones who went public about You-Know-Who being back," Molly said in an accusatory tone.
"GET OUT, GET OUT OF HERE NOW, and don't you ever voice that opinion of me towards Harry ever or you will be sorry," Tonks hissed with tears streaking down here face.
"Quite a scary situation if you ask me. I would rather dress in drag and visit a muggle jail then have to go into a room where those to brauds are facing off again," Mundungus said to Kingsley Shacklebolt as they were walking out the front door.
That night Harry lay awake in bed oblivious to the fact that Tonks and Molly Weasley had faced off about Harry while he was feeling crestfallen after being denied acceptance into the order from Dumbeldore.
I won't let you down mom, dad, and Sirius. I promise I will think of something. It's my fight and I don't care what Dumbeldore says, Harry thought as he tried to fall asleep on the lumpy mattress beneath him.
(((
Thank you for all of the reviews everyone. I won't tell you exactly what is going on yet, you will have to wait for the next chapter and see, but I would like to clear up a few things. One I know that the Dursley's in the book have never really hit Harry, but there are things that could have taken place in this story anyhow that could have effected their thinking. I also took a different approach on Harry's depression. I know in the book he is not (everyone dies because of me), but the way he feels in my story fits my story plot better. I am also sorry for those of you who wanted Tonks and Harry to have a relationship. Tonks is one of my favorite characters now, but I think she is just to old for Harry. This chapter should have explained Tonks's intentions toward Harry. Trust me though Harry will definitely find someone later, and if you want though to I could let Tonks get together with someone as well. It is not in my story plan, but I am flexible if it is what everyone would like. Until then I hope you enjoy, and all reviews are welcome, and thanks again for taking your time to review.