Chapter 18 - Learning to Race.
The next day Vince went off to do god knows what, she always thought it was better if she didn't know, so she didn't ask what he did the days he didn't go work for Dom. She knew he disappeared for hours at a time. He was doing something for sure but she didn't want to know what. She figured it was illegal and didn't really care.
Nyssa got up early the next day and snuck out of the room, leaving Vince asleep and went looking for Letty. Nyssa had told Letty she wanted to get good at racing and then surprise Vince because he had thought that she didn't practise enough and she didn't want to win bad enough. Letty agreed it was a good plan, plus it was a good idea to have other teachers. Having the same one all the time got old. Or at least it had for her.
Letty had hated every minute of Dom teaching her to race. She had also known how to drive already when Dom taught her to race. The only reason she got good at it is because she had to, just to rub Dom's nose in it. She could hold her own in a race with any of the guys now. She was looking forward to having another chick around who could race as well as she did. She loved Mia like a sister but the girl had no interest in racing and sometimes Letty just felt like Mia didn't get her at all. She knew she had found a kindred spirit in Nyssa.
Nyssa stopped the car and got out for the 10th time that day.
"Jesus Letty, I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. You say you are going easy on me but I can't come close to you. How can I ever race if I can't even beat my friend who is trying to let me win?"
"Nyssa, you can't just race like a machine you know. It is not a skill you can learn from a text book. You need to put your heart into it. You need to feel the adrenaline in your blood."
"I am trying Letty but I mean, damn it, I thought I was faster then I am right now. I am faster when I am just doing drills then I am when you and I race. I don't know what is wrong."
"That's what's wrong girl. You are treating racing me like it is just another run. Like beating me is a skill you could have gotten in a text book. I know Vince is a capable teacher but maybe he neglected to tell you one fundamental thing about racing."
"What's that?"
"It has to be a sport of passion. You need to feel it in your soul. You are going to be racing guys with years more experience, talent, and the will to win at all costs. You need to find that drive in your heart and soul or you may as well give up now. If you don't have the will to win then you can be the best technical racer in the world and you will never win races. Because the guy beside you who taught himself wants to win so bad he can taste it and he is actually sexually turned on over the rush. When I race, especially a guy, I want to beat him because I know he is looking at me thinking I have no idea what I am doing and some guy built my car for me. I want to show them the error of snap judgements."
"I do want to win, but I just can't see you in that kind of light that I want to cream you. You're one of my best friends."
"Ok, let's look at this from another angle. You are racing exactly the way Vince taught you Right? Shifting when he taught you, NOS when he taught you and so on right?"
"Well ya, isn't that right?"
"Yes and no. Technically yes, I'm sure he taught you the right things, the right times to do stuff, but on the other hand you have to learn to do stuff when it feels right to you. You have to have a feel for it. You have to feel it. Listen to me. I bet you never knew there was anything this deep about me huh? Letty the racer has feelings."
"Well, I knew that Lett but I still don't really know what you mean about feel it."
"Well think of the car as a man. From this point forward your car is a he not a she ok."
"Um..Ok..."
"Now when you are with a man, you know, *with* him, do you go by what some book told you to do? Did a friend teach you how to have sex with a man? Do you have a manual for how you do what you do with Vince? No you just go by the feelings, let your feelings tell you what to do right?"
"No, I have no manual but I wish I did. I don't do what you think I do with Vince. We never reached that point yet. But I think I see what you mean now."
"Hold up, you and Vince have never done it? Ever?"
"Um..No.."
"Well that is your problem, his too, neither of you are getting any. Just jump his bones and you'll race better. Learn to handle your man in bed, learn to race him on the streets and win." Letty looked like she had just cured cancer, she was that smug and happy with herself.
"No I really get it now. I don't have to rush out and have sex to get it. You finally got through to me. I need to lose myself in the moment, into the car, become one with the car as it were, visualize myself winning and want that so bad nothing else matters. Want it so bad it doesn't matter if I am racing you or Dom or Johnny Tran. I have to want to win above all else as long as I am behind the wheel of the car. That's the passion, that 's the feeling. And as long as I just drive the car I can't win. I have to let the fact that I wanna win and be the best be the only thing that matters when I race.
"Now you get it. See? But you still need to get on Vince, You don't know what you are missing out on."
"Well I am not a virgin you know. But I only did it once before, just because everyone was. It hurt like hell, it was terrible, no fun, and me and the guy broke up soon after. Well, since we are being all deep and shit, we didn't break up. He was only with me cause he and his friends had a bet about if he could get me to give it up to him or not. I was overweight and shy and they made a bet over wether I would have sex with Doug just because a cute guy asked me out. But like I said, it just seemed like all my friends were doin it, and he was cute. Then after I found out about the bet. Since then I haven't had any interest. Well, till Vince, but I don't want to rush things."
"Girl, trust me. You would not be rushing things, the boy is half in love with you already, he is just notoriously thick skulled. The sooner you give him some the sooner it will dawn on him how important you are to him. Men are ruled by their dicks. Learn to live with it, and accept it. Because when you understand the nature of a thing, you know what it is capable of."
Both women laughed at that. Nyssa and Letty climbed back into their cars and decided to do one more run. Letty was still going easy on Nyssa but she thought that perhaps The time for going easy on her was over. Nyssa won. Letty was pleased. She had finally gotten through to Nyssa. Helped her find her edge. Now she could race. She still had a long way to go really, to be able to race people who wanted to beat her but she was well on her way now. Nyssa seemed almost too laid back by times. She had to find her inner bitch. And Letty thought with a laugh, she was just the girl to help her with that. They headed home after Nyssa had managed to almost beat Letty again when Letty wasn't trying to let her.
Vince was gone when they got back and he never showed for dinner. Nyssa was starting to get worried about him. She did all her homework and there was still no sign of him. It was 9:30pm already. Man where the hell was he? She had to have some idea. She looked for Leon. She thought Dom was more likely to know but she just wasn't comfortable with Dom like she was with Leon and Jesse. She found Leon in front of the PS2, of course.
She asked him if he had any idea where Vince was. He told her no, but he was lying. "Come on Leon. I know you know. I don't need details. Just tell me if he planned on being gone this long and if he is ok where ever he is."
"I don't know if he planned on being gone this long or not but he's fine. Call him on his cell if you want. He won't care." How the hell did she do that? She always knew when he was trying to lie to her. He was glad she didn't want to know what Vince was doing but figured it was only fair she know he was alright.
"I'm not checking up on him. He can come and go whenever he wants. Just fine with me..." Nyssa walked away mumbling about how why would he want to do something nice like leave a note or tell her he was going to be gone all evening. Why would she want to know that little detail?
Leon figured Vince was in for it when ever he did get home. Nyssa sought out Letty. She told her Vince was gone doing whatever it was he did when he disappeared and she was pissed that he never told her he would be gone all day and night. Letty told her she knew all about it. And it sucked but it was just the way the guys were. Not much they could do but live with it or yell at them all the time. Nyssa asked if that meant that Letty just didn't care when Dom did stuff like this, she just smiled and acted like he wasn't missing all day. Letty told her hell no, she was distant and cold to him till he told her he was sorry or at least told her where he had been.
The next day Vince went off to do god knows what, she always thought it was better if she didn't know, so she didn't ask what he did the days he didn't go work for Dom. She knew he disappeared for hours at a time. He was doing something for sure but she didn't want to know what. She figured it was illegal and didn't really care.
Nyssa got up early the next day and snuck out of the room, leaving Vince asleep and went looking for Letty. Nyssa had told Letty she wanted to get good at racing and then surprise Vince because he had thought that she didn't practise enough and she didn't want to win bad enough. Letty agreed it was a good plan, plus it was a good idea to have other teachers. Having the same one all the time got old. Or at least it had for her.
Letty had hated every minute of Dom teaching her to race. She had also known how to drive already when Dom taught her to race. The only reason she got good at it is because she had to, just to rub Dom's nose in it. She could hold her own in a race with any of the guys now. She was looking forward to having another chick around who could race as well as she did. She loved Mia like a sister but the girl had no interest in racing and sometimes Letty just felt like Mia didn't get her at all. She knew she had found a kindred spirit in Nyssa.
Nyssa stopped the car and got out for the 10th time that day.
"Jesus Letty, I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. You say you are going easy on me but I can't come close to you. How can I ever race if I can't even beat my friend who is trying to let me win?"
"Nyssa, you can't just race like a machine you know. It is not a skill you can learn from a text book. You need to put your heart into it. You need to feel the adrenaline in your blood."
"I am trying Letty but I mean, damn it, I thought I was faster then I am right now. I am faster when I am just doing drills then I am when you and I race. I don't know what is wrong."
"That's what's wrong girl. You are treating racing me like it is just another run. Like beating me is a skill you could have gotten in a text book. I know Vince is a capable teacher but maybe he neglected to tell you one fundamental thing about racing."
"What's that?"
"It has to be a sport of passion. You need to feel it in your soul. You are going to be racing guys with years more experience, talent, and the will to win at all costs. You need to find that drive in your heart and soul or you may as well give up now. If you don't have the will to win then you can be the best technical racer in the world and you will never win races. Because the guy beside you who taught himself wants to win so bad he can taste it and he is actually sexually turned on over the rush. When I race, especially a guy, I want to beat him because I know he is looking at me thinking I have no idea what I am doing and some guy built my car for me. I want to show them the error of snap judgements."
"I do want to win, but I just can't see you in that kind of light that I want to cream you. You're one of my best friends."
"Ok, let's look at this from another angle. You are racing exactly the way Vince taught you Right? Shifting when he taught you, NOS when he taught you and so on right?"
"Well ya, isn't that right?"
"Yes and no. Technically yes, I'm sure he taught you the right things, the right times to do stuff, but on the other hand you have to learn to do stuff when it feels right to you. You have to have a feel for it. You have to feel it. Listen to me. I bet you never knew there was anything this deep about me huh? Letty the racer has feelings."
"Well, I knew that Lett but I still don't really know what you mean about feel it."
"Well think of the car as a man. From this point forward your car is a he not a she ok."
"Um..Ok..."
"Now when you are with a man, you know, *with* him, do you go by what some book told you to do? Did a friend teach you how to have sex with a man? Do you have a manual for how you do what you do with Vince? No you just go by the feelings, let your feelings tell you what to do right?"
"No, I have no manual but I wish I did. I don't do what you think I do with Vince. We never reached that point yet. But I think I see what you mean now."
"Hold up, you and Vince have never done it? Ever?"
"Um..No.."
"Well that is your problem, his too, neither of you are getting any. Just jump his bones and you'll race better. Learn to handle your man in bed, learn to race him on the streets and win." Letty looked like she had just cured cancer, she was that smug and happy with herself.
"No I really get it now. I don't have to rush out and have sex to get it. You finally got through to me. I need to lose myself in the moment, into the car, become one with the car as it were, visualize myself winning and want that so bad nothing else matters. Want it so bad it doesn't matter if I am racing you or Dom or Johnny Tran. I have to want to win above all else as long as I am behind the wheel of the car. That's the passion, that 's the feeling. And as long as I just drive the car I can't win. I have to let the fact that I wanna win and be the best be the only thing that matters when I race.
"Now you get it. See? But you still need to get on Vince, You don't know what you are missing out on."
"Well I am not a virgin you know. But I only did it once before, just because everyone was. It hurt like hell, it was terrible, no fun, and me and the guy broke up soon after. Well, since we are being all deep and shit, we didn't break up. He was only with me cause he and his friends had a bet about if he could get me to give it up to him or not. I was overweight and shy and they made a bet over wether I would have sex with Doug just because a cute guy asked me out. But like I said, it just seemed like all my friends were doin it, and he was cute. Then after I found out about the bet. Since then I haven't had any interest. Well, till Vince, but I don't want to rush things."
"Girl, trust me. You would not be rushing things, the boy is half in love with you already, he is just notoriously thick skulled. The sooner you give him some the sooner it will dawn on him how important you are to him. Men are ruled by their dicks. Learn to live with it, and accept it. Because when you understand the nature of a thing, you know what it is capable of."
Both women laughed at that. Nyssa and Letty climbed back into their cars and decided to do one more run. Letty was still going easy on Nyssa but she thought that perhaps The time for going easy on her was over. Nyssa won. Letty was pleased. She had finally gotten through to Nyssa. Helped her find her edge. Now she could race. She still had a long way to go really, to be able to race people who wanted to beat her but she was well on her way now. Nyssa seemed almost too laid back by times. She had to find her inner bitch. And Letty thought with a laugh, she was just the girl to help her with that. They headed home after Nyssa had managed to almost beat Letty again when Letty wasn't trying to let her.
Vince was gone when they got back and he never showed for dinner. Nyssa was starting to get worried about him. She did all her homework and there was still no sign of him. It was 9:30pm already. Man where the hell was he? She had to have some idea. She looked for Leon. She thought Dom was more likely to know but she just wasn't comfortable with Dom like she was with Leon and Jesse. She found Leon in front of the PS2, of course.
She asked him if he had any idea where Vince was. He told her no, but he was lying. "Come on Leon. I know you know. I don't need details. Just tell me if he planned on being gone this long and if he is ok where ever he is."
"I don't know if he planned on being gone this long or not but he's fine. Call him on his cell if you want. He won't care." How the hell did she do that? She always knew when he was trying to lie to her. He was glad she didn't want to know what Vince was doing but figured it was only fair she know he was alright.
"I'm not checking up on him. He can come and go whenever he wants. Just fine with me..." Nyssa walked away mumbling about how why would he want to do something nice like leave a note or tell her he was going to be gone all evening. Why would she want to know that little detail?
Leon figured Vince was in for it when ever he did get home. Nyssa sought out Letty. She told her Vince was gone doing whatever it was he did when he disappeared and she was pissed that he never told her he would be gone all day and night. Letty told her she knew all about it. And it sucked but it was just the way the guys were. Not much they could do but live with it or yell at them all the time. Nyssa asked if that meant that Letty just didn't care when Dom did stuff like this, she just smiled and acted like he wasn't missing all day. Letty told her hell no, she was distant and cold to him till he told her he was sorry or at least told her where he had been.