First Author's Note: This Chapter begins with David's POV, a few moments
before Lizzie reveals her identity to Gordo. The chapter then switches to
both their perspectives.
**************************************************************************** *
Adam: I want Lizzie, I'm in love with Lizzie, *and* I'm falling in love with you, Hilary. It's a paradox. But, I can't help it, I can't help the way I'm feeling right now. I just know, I don't know how, but I do, that when I meet you, you'll be everything I've dreamed of in a woman. There's this part of me that keeps telling me we're meant to be together.
As he typed his last message, David sat back in his chair, shook his head, and wondered, what in the world am I doing? I don't get this, I don't get this, I don't get this . . . .
Why am I telling Hilary that I'm falling in love with her?
He thought for a moment, then wondered, even more curiously, why is it so *easy* for me to tell her I'm falling in love with her?
This is so amazing, I mean, I've been so afraid of telling Lizzie the truth for all these years, and then, after a few hours in a chatroom with a woman I just met, it feels like I'm almost compelled to tell Hilary how I feel about her.
He scratched his and raised his eyebrows, deeply puzzled. What confused David was that th the more confident he felt about his feelings towards Hilary, oddly, at the same time, the more he thought about Lizzie, the more he wished and longed to be with her again, wanting nothing else except to see her beautiful, adorable face.
Well, except I would love to be able to see Hilary's face, too. I'd love to see Lizzie and Hilary right now . . . . because I love them both?!??
Aargggh, I am sooo terribly confused right now! How can I be in love with two women at the same time? It's not right, it's not right . . . .
But, then, but then . . . .why does it *feel* right? Why does everything that's been happening feel like it's all meant to happen?
Hilary's message popped on the computer screen, interrupting his train of thought.
Hilary: Adam, that was really, really sweet of you to say, but, I have to tell you something.
Adam: sure, okay. Go ahead. It's not bad news or anything is it? Don't tell me you're married!
Hilary: no, no, no, nothing like that!
Adam: whew, you had me going for a second. So, what's up?
Hilary: Hi Gordo, it's me, Lizzie McGuire. Hilary Duff is my username, you've been chatting with me all this time. . . .
"Li-Lizzie?" He said out loud. I don't get it, I'm chatting with Hilary, not Lizzie. And there's no way that Hilary can be Lizzie, because Hilary is Hilary, and Lizzie is Lizzie.
He laughed, then thought, okay, okay, it's Hilary trying to be funny, trying to pull my leg.
Adam: uh, Hilary, I don't get it. What do you mean, you're Lizzie? You're joking, right? Ha-ha, that was funny. I have to admit, you had me going there for a second. ; )
Hilary: No, Gordo. I'm not joking. I *am* Lizzie, you know, your best friend Lizzie McGuire, remember me? : )
Upon reading her message, David completely froze in his chair. Not a single part of his body was moving. The entire hotel room seemed to go deathly quiet, as if time was standing still and the world had stopped spinning. As he sat there, in his chair, like a statute, he could feel a spine tingling numbness engulf his entire body.
He understood what Hilary, what Lizzie, had just told him, but it just didn't, it couldn't register in his mind. It was as if someone had just told him that aliens had landed on earth.
No, no, it can't be, it can't be, it doesn't make any sense, Hilary can't be Lizzie, she can't, it's impossible, there's just no way . . . .
But, but, she just called me Gordo, and . . .and . . . I don't ever remember telling Hilary my nickname, so, how does she know my name is Gordo, unless . . . .unless . . . .
He stared again at Hilary's last message, and the truth slowly began to sink in. It is, it-it-it is Lizzie, it is her, it's really Lizzie, I'm chatting with Lizzie . . . .
Oh my god, whispered David, "Lizzie?" My Lizzie? The Lizzie that I grew up with? The Lizzie I'm in love with? Is it really her?
Then, in a blink of an eye, he stood up from his chair and shouted, "IT IS LIZZIE!!"
Hilary: ummm . . . .are you still there, Gordo? Please, Gordo, let me know if you're still here!
He sat back in his chair and quickly typed in a response.
Adam: Lizzie? Is it really you? Is it you?
Lizzie bit her lower lip as she typed in her response. She had no idea how he would respond. Would he be angry at her? Would he be overjoyed to realize he had been chatting with his best friend all along? Please don't be mad at me, please don't be mad at me, I just hope you're not mad at me . . . .
Hilary: yes, Gordo, it's me, it's really me. Um, how are ya? : )
As David read the response, a huge surge of delirious joy and happiness rushed through his entire being. He let out a big smile and whispered, "Lizzie . . . ."
He was so excited that he was with with his best friend once again, since it felt like it had been ages since they had last spoken with each other. His hands shook with unrestrained joyful energy, and he could barely compose himself to type a response.
Adam: It's you, it's really you! : ) : ) Lizzie, this is incredible, this is absolutely incredible, I can't believe this! I haven't spoken with you in six months and I run into you randomly in a chatroom. What are the chances of that happening?? : )
Oh! gasped Lizzie. She sighed a breath of relief and smiled broadly, as she could feel Gordo's unbridled affection and joy reaching out to her and touching her heart. Okay, he's not mad at all, this is awesome! And he seems so happy to be talking with me! He's so sweet . . . .
Hilary: I know! It's amazing, isn't it? : ) It must have been fate. It's so great to be chatting with you again, Gordo, it really is! : ) : ) : )
Adam: Oh man, Lizzie, you don't know how happy I am to be talking with you again, sort of! I've missed you so much these past few months, like you wouldn't believe!!! : ) : )
She chuckled and thought, boy, if Gordo were here, he probably would be giving me a big bear hug and showering me with kisses and not letting me go! She smiled, then thought, and that would be perfectly fine with me . . . .
Hilary: I've missed you too, Gordo, I really have. I've thought about you so much these past few months. I'm so sorry that I've been so out of touch, I am, I really am.
Adam: Don't worry about it, Lizzie, don't worry about it. I'm just glad to be chatting with you now. : )
Hilary: Me, too! : )
Adam: And I just want to tell you how sorry I am about the way I acted on the phone six months ago. You were so right, I wasn't being a good friend at all, I wasn't being very supportive. I'm so sorry Lizzie, please forgive me.
He desperately wanted to ask her if she wanted to talk on the phone because he desperately wanted to hear her beautiful melodic voice, to hear the sweetness of her laugh, to her the joy and twinkle in her voice. But, he was still reluctant to ask, not quite sure about the standing of their friendship, not quite sure what was appropriate at this moment. All he could think and feel was that he was chatting with *Lizzie!* With Lizzie, with the woman of his dreams. Yes, they were connected together just by words, but for now, this was all just pure magic to his heart; he was loving and savoring every minute of this.
Then, as he was about to type in another message, a thought hit him with the force of a hurricanne.
Waitaminute, how long did Lizzie know that she was talking with me?
The reality of the situation slowly started to dawn on him. Since Hilary really is Lizzie, that means, that means . . . . He shuddered as he grappled with the truth . . . .these past few hours, I've just been telling Lizzie that I've been in love with her for all these years!!
He buried his face into his hands as a million, billion thoughts swam and swirled around in the deep recesses of his mind.
Oh my god, what have I just done?
His head started to spin as he began to realize exactly what had conspired these past few hours with "Hilary." His intense joy in unexpectedly being reunited with his best friend suddenly began to dissipate and sink into a mire of mixed emotions and conflicted thoughts.
For so long he had kept his love for Lizzie hidden from her, for so long he had protected his secret as if his life depended on it. He kept his feelings a secret because he was so afraid to release his emotions, so afraid to open up his heart, for fear of rejection, for fear that Lizzie would tell him she didn't love him the way he loved her.
He had kept it all a well kept secret, until tonight, when he unwittingly told "Hilary" his truth.
Lizzie knows, she knows, he whispered.
And that thought brought feelings of mind numbingly intense fear into his heart and mind. Oh my god, oh my god, she *knows* . . . .
Adam: Lizzie, hey, I want to ask you something.
Hilary: Shoot! : ) Ask me!
Adam: when did you figure out who I really was?
Lizzie froze when she read Gordo's response. Uh-oh . . . . With great trepidation, she typed in a response.
Hilary: I knew it was after you told me that you had a mouse stuck on your hand, and then you explained to me that it was that mouse figurine I had given you back in the fourth grade. You don't how touched I was that you still kept it with you after all these years.
David felt like he was about to implode. She's known for that long? He couldn't sit still any longer and he stood up out of chair and started pacing around his hotel room back and forth back and forth muttering to himself, why didn't she tell me? Why didn't she tell me?
He felt his whole world spinning out of control. He felt so incredibly exposed, so incredibly raw. Not only had he revealed to Lizzie his deepest most cherished dreams, desires, and longings, he was now also realizing that she had tricked and misled him for the past several hours.
Adam: You've known it was me for the past couple hours. Why didn't you tell me it was you, Lizzie?
She could feel a palpable shift in the tone of Gordo's messages. Gone was his joy and excitement. Instead, she could sense in his words a cautious, skeptical sense of anxiety and hurt.
Hilary: I really don't know, Gordo, I can't explain it, it just happened and I couldn't tell you after awhile. Hey look Gordo, do you want to talk about this over the phone? It'd be great to hear your voice. : )
Adam: No, Lizzie, not now, I need to ask you something first.
Hilary: I'm sorry Gordo, I am. But, go ahead, ask me your question.
As he was about to type in his message, his hands began to shake and he felt as if he were about to pass out. His head started to tingle and he was having great difficulty breathing. He felt like he was about to jump out of an airplane into the vast expanses of the open sky.
Adam: all those things I said, about, you know, how I felt about you, well . . . .what do you think?
Hilary: Um, not sure what you're asking. What do I think about what?
Adam: You know how I feel about you, Lizzie. How do you feel about me?
He did it. He asked the question he had been dying to ask for as long as he could remember. After typing in his question, he sat back, closed his eyes, nervously played with his hands, and waited with baited breath for Lizzie's answer.
****************************************************************************
Second Author's Note:
Sorry, another cliffhanger, I know! I know you all hate these cliffhangers, but they are such great places to end a chapter! ;) Seriously, I thought it was appropriate to have this chapter end with Gordo waiting for Lizzie's response, just as the last chapter ended with Lizzie waiting for Gordo's response. Honestly, this chapter was going to be much longer, but I'm still need time to work on the second half, so I decided instead of keeping you all waiting much longer, I'm going to put up the first half of what I've written as chapter thirteen, and post the second half as chapter fourteen. Chapter Fourteen should be up very, very shortly, I promise!
And, thanks for all those reviews for chapter twelve! Wow, that was such an amazing response, it makes a writer feel great. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please read and review!!! Thanks so much, hm
**************************************************************************** *
Adam: I want Lizzie, I'm in love with Lizzie, *and* I'm falling in love with you, Hilary. It's a paradox. But, I can't help it, I can't help the way I'm feeling right now. I just know, I don't know how, but I do, that when I meet you, you'll be everything I've dreamed of in a woman. There's this part of me that keeps telling me we're meant to be together.
As he typed his last message, David sat back in his chair, shook his head, and wondered, what in the world am I doing? I don't get this, I don't get this, I don't get this . . . .
Why am I telling Hilary that I'm falling in love with her?
He thought for a moment, then wondered, even more curiously, why is it so *easy* for me to tell her I'm falling in love with her?
This is so amazing, I mean, I've been so afraid of telling Lizzie the truth for all these years, and then, after a few hours in a chatroom with a woman I just met, it feels like I'm almost compelled to tell Hilary how I feel about her.
He scratched his and raised his eyebrows, deeply puzzled. What confused David was that th the more confident he felt about his feelings towards Hilary, oddly, at the same time, the more he thought about Lizzie, the more he wished and longed to be with her again, wanting nothing else except to see her beautiful, adorable face.
Well, except I would love to be able to see Hilary's face, too. I'd love to see Lizzie and Hilary right now . . . . because I love them both?!??
Aargggh, I am sooo terribly confused right now! How can I be in love with two women at the same time? It's not right, it's not right . . . .
But, then, but then . . . .why does it *feel* right? Why does everything that's been happening feel like it's all meant to happen?
Hilary's message popped on the computer screen, interrupting his train of thought.
Hilary: Adam, that was really, really sweet of you to say, but, I have to tell you something.
Adam: sure, okay. Go ahead. It's not bad news or anything is it? Don't tell me you're married!
Hilary: no, no, no, nothing like that!
Adam: whew, you had me going for a second. So, what's up?
Hilary: Hi Gordo, it's me, Lizzie McGuire. Hilary Duff is my username, you've been chatting with me all this time. . . .
"Li-Lizzie?" He said out loud. I don't get it, I'm chatting with Hilary, not Lizzie. And there's no way that Hilary can be Lizzie, because Hilary is Hilary, and Lizzie is Lizzie.
He laughed, then thought, okay, okay, it's Hilary trying to be funny, trying to pull my leg.
Adam: uh, Hilary, I don't get it. What do you mean, you're Lizzie? You're joking, right? Ha-ha, that was funny. I have to admit, you had me going there for a second. ; )
Hilary: No, Gordo. I'm not joking. I *am* Lizzie, you know, your best friend Lizzie McGuire, remember me? : )
Upon reading her message, David completely froze in his chair. Not a single part of his body was moving. The entire hotel room seemed to go deathly quiet, as if time was standing still and the world had stopped spinning. As he sat there, in his chair, like a statute, he could feel a spine tingling numbness engulf his entire body.
He understood what Hilary, what Lizzie, had just told him, but it just didn't, it couldn't register in his mind. It was as if someone had just told him that aliens had landed on earth.
No, no, it can't be, it can't be, it doesn't make any sense, Hilary can't be Lizzie, she can't, it's impossible, there's just no way . . . .
But, but, she just called me Gordo, and . . .and . . . I don't ever remember telling Hilary my nickname, so, how does she know my name is Gordo, unless . . . .unless . . . .
He stared again at Hilary's last message, and the truth slowly began to sink in. It is, it-it-it is Lizzie, it is her, it's really Lizzie, I'm chatting with Lizzie . . . .
Oh my god, whispered David, "Lizzie?" My Lizzie? The Lizzie that I grew up with? The Lizzie I'm in love with? Is it really her?
Then, in a blink of an eye, he stood up from his chair and shouted, "IT IS LIZZIE!!"
Hilary: ummm . . . .are you still there, Gordo? Please, Gordo, let me know if you're still here!
He sat back in his chair and quickly typed in a response.
Adam: Lizzie? Is it really you? Is it you?
Lizzie bit her lower lip as she typed in her response. She had no idea how he would respond. Would he be angry at her? Would he be overjoyed to realize he had been chatting with his best friend all along? Please don't be mad at me, please don't be mad at me, I just hope you're not mad at me . . . .
Hilary: yes, Gordo, it's me, it's really me. Um, how are ya? : )
As David read the response, a huge surge of delirious joy and happiness rushed through his entire being. He let out a big smile and whispered, "Lizzie . . . ."
He was so excited that he was with with his best friend once again, since it felt like it had been ages since they had last spoken with each other. His hands shook with unrestrained joyful energy, and he could barely compose himself to type a response.
Adam: It's you, it's really you! : ) : ) Lizzie, this is incredible, this is absolutely incredible, I can't believe this! I haven't spoken with you in six months and I run into you randomly in a chatroom. What are the chances of that happening?? : )
Oh! gasped Lizzie. She sighed a breath of relief and smiled broadly, as she could feel Gordo's unbridled affection and joy reaching out to her and touching her heart. Okay, he's not mad at all, this is awesome! And he seems so happy to be talking with me! He's so sweet . . . .
Hilary: I know! It's amazing, isn't it? : ) It must have been fate. It's so great to be chatting with you again, Gordo, it really is! : ) : ) : )
Adam: Oh man, Lizzie, you don't know how happy I am to be talking with you again, sort of! I've missed you so much these past few months, like you wouldn't believe!!! : ) : )
She chuckled and thought, boy, if Gordo were here, he probably would be giving me a big bear hug and showering me with kisses and not letting me go! She smiled, then thought, and that would be perfectly fine with me . . . .
Hilary: I've missed you too, Gordo, I really have. I've thought about you so much these past few months. I'm so sorry that I've been so out of touch, I am, I really am.
Adam: Don't worry about it, Lizzie, don't worry about it. I'm just glad to be chatting with you now. : )
Hilary: Me, too! : )
Adam: And I just want to tell you how sorry I am about the way I acted on the phone six months ago. You were so right, I wasn't being a good friend at all, I wasn't being very supportive. I'm so sorry Lizzie, please forgive me.
He desperately wanted to ask her if she wanted to talk on the phone because he desperately wanted to hear her beautiful melodic voice, to hear the sweetness of her laugh, to her the joy and twinkle in her voice. But, he was still reluctant to ask, not quite sure about the standing of their friendship, not quite sure what was appropriate at this moment. All he could think and feel was that he was chatting with *Lizzie!* With Lizzie, with the woman of his dreams. Yes, they were connected together just by words, but for now, this was all just pure magic to his heart; he was loving and savoring every minute of this.
Then, as he was about to type in another message, a thought hit him with the force of a hurricanne.
Waitaminute, how long did Lizzie know that she was talking with me?
The reality of the situation slowly started to dawn on him. Since Hilary really is Lizzie, that means, that means . . . . He shuddered as he grappled with the truth . . . .these past few hours, I've just been telling Lizzie that I've been in love with her for all these years!!
He buried his face into his hands as a million, billion thoughts swam and swirled around in the deep recesses of his mind.
Oh my god, what have I just done?
His head started to spin as he began to realize exactly what had conspired these past few hours with "Hilary." His intense joy in unexpectedly being reunited with his best friend suddenly began to dissipate and sink into a mire of mixed emotions and conflicted thoughts.
For so long he had kept his love for Lizzie hidden from her, for so long he had protected his secret as if his life depended on it. He kept his feelings a secret because he was so afraid to release his emotions, so afraid to open up his heart, for fear of rejection, for fear that Lizzie would tell him she didn't love him the way he loved her.
He had kept it all a well kept secret, until tonight, when he unwittingly told "Hilary" his truth.
Lizzie knows, she knows, he whispered.
And that thought brought feelings of mind numbingly intense fear into his heart and mind. Oh my god, oh my god, she *knows* . . . .
Adam: Lizzie, hey, I want to ask you something.
Hilary: Shoot! : ) Ask me!
Adam: when did you figure out who I really was?
Lizzie froze when she read Gordo's response. Uh-oh . . . . With great trepidation, she typed in a response.
Hilary: I knew it was after you told me that you had a mouse stuck on your hand, and then you explained to me that it was that mouse figurine I had given you back in the fourth grade. You don't how touched I was that you still kept it with you after all these years.
David felt like he was about to implode. She's known for that long? He couldn't sit still any longer and he stood up out of chair and started pacing around his hotel room back and forth back and forth muttering to himself, why didn't she tell me? Why didn't she tell me?
He felt his whole world spinning out of control. He felt so incredibly exposed, so incredibly raw. Not only had he revealed to Lizzie his deepest most cherished dreams, desires, and longings, he was now also realizing that she had tricked and misled him for the past several hours.
Adam: You've known it was me for the past couple hours. Why didn't you tell me it was you, Lizzie?
She could feel a palpable shift in the tone of Gordo's messages. Gone was his joy and excitement. Instead, she could sense in his words a cautious, skeptical sense of anxiety and hurt.
Hilary: I really don't know, Gordo, I can't explain it, it just happened and I couldn't tell you after awhile. Hey look Gordo, do you want to talk about this over the phone? It'd be great to hear your voice. : )
Adam: No, Lizzie, not now, I need to ask you something first.
Hilary: I'm sorry Gordo, I am. But, go ahead, ask me your question.
As he was about to type in his message, his hands began to shake and he felt as if he were about to pass out. His head started to tingle and he was having great difficulty breathing. He felt like he was about to jump out of an airplane into the vast expanses of the open sky.
Adam: all those things I said, about, you know, how I felt about you, well . . . .what do you think?
Hilary: Um, not sure what you're asking. What do I think about what?
Adam: You know how I feel about you, Lizzie. How do you feel about me?
He did it. He asked the question he had been dying to ask for as long as he could remember. After typing in his question, he sat back, closed his eyes, nervously played with his hands, and waited with baited breath for Lizzie's answer.
****************************************************************************
Second Author's Note:
Sorry, another cliffhanger, I know! I know you all hate these cliffhangers, but they are such great places to end a chapter! ;) Seriously, I thought it was appropriate to have this chapter end with Gordo waiting for Lizzie's response, just as the last chapter ended with Lizzie waiting for Gordo's response. Honestly, this chapter was going to be much longer, but I'm still need time to work on the second half, so I decided instead of keeping you all waiting much longer, I'm going to put up the first half of what I've written as chapter thirteen, and post the second half as chapter fourteen. Chapter Fourteen should be up very, very shortly, I promise!
And, thanks for all those reviews for chapter twelve! Wow, that was such an amazing response, it makes a writer feel great. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please read and review!!! Thanks so much, hm