.....A couple of days later at the Warehouse.....................
(Chapter 3)
I pull my car and grab my bag. I have to go to London tomorrow night. It should be a simple mission, so there is nothing to be nervous about, but I am very nervous now. I am not nervous about this mission. I am nervous about. tonight, meeting with Vaughn.
I decided that I am going to say "thank you" to Vaughn. That's all and I am nervous about it. It's ridiculous!! What's wrong with me? I take a deep breath and get out of my car. I walk towards the door and open it. My hands are shaking.
May be I should say it when I come back from London. No, Syd! I tell myself. I promised myself to do this tonight.
Vaughn is waiting for me as usual. He is always waiting for me. I smile at him and say "Hey".
"Hey" He smiles at me.
I put my bag down and ask him, "How was your day?" calm down, don't show him that I'm nervous!!! But it's so hard!
He looked at me, a bit surprised. I usually don't ask him that question! What am I doing?! But he smiles again.
"Well, it was busy as usual but boring. I have finished some paper works and was late for the meeting but that's all. How was yours?"
"Same. Slone is still very creepy as usual but thankfully he didn't touch me. I did some paper work and left the office for some shopping. That's all. You got the information that I'm going to London tomorrow night?"
"Yeah. So here is what we are going to do. When you get the disk, go back to your hotel room and ask for the room service. The person will be a CIA agent and give him the disk so that we can make a copy. Then you call for the room service again, we will give the disk back to you."
"Ok, it seems fairly simple. So who is this agent?"
"Uhm, well, it will be me but I am not sure yet. I have never worked as a room service so, maybe Devlin will turn me down but if I practice enough tonight, I will be fine. Practice makes everything perfect. in theory anyway". He says, laughing.
OK, this mission is going to be quite good one. "Yeah, you should practice because Dixon might call you for the room service. You don't want to blow your cover, do you?" I smile at him.
We become quiet. I take a deep breathe, and get ready.and..
"Vaughn"
"Syd"
We both chuckle.
"You first" I say quickly. no, I didn't say that!
"No. well ok. I just wanted to know if you are ok. That's all." He is just too kind to me. I feel guilty for what happened last week.
"I'm fine." I give him a smile.
"OK..What were you going to say?" He asks with that smile. I take another deep breath.I think to myself, how many deep breathe do I need to take to say a simple phrase?
"Oh, I was just going to say.I just wanted to say." come on Syd, I tell myself. I am frustrated with myself. So I take another deep breath, again.
"I wanted to say that I really want to thank you for everything you have done for me so far". Here, I said it. I look at him. He is. frozen. Please say something Vaughn!
"Oh. what.?" now Vaughn becomes speechless. I smile at myself. and say
"I just wanted to say thank you to you." Ok, second time is much easier.
"I have wanted to say this for a while but somehow I didn't. I should have said long time ago and each time you saved me and helped me. Vaughn, thank you". Vaughn is looking at me, like I swallowed an apple, but gradually he smiles at me.
"Syd, you don't have to thank me." Here come again. nice-Vaughn is back, but I won't give him a chance to become Too-Nice-Vaughn.
"No, Vaughn. Please, just let me finish.", and so he closes his mouth ..Good.
"I really mean it. I have called you again and again in middle of the night, just because I needed someone to talk to. I am sure that your job description and contract don't include "answer to all calls your agent makes" or "do whatever to keep your agent sane". And I realised that I have never thanked you for all extra things you have to do to keep me from becoming crazy. So, please let me say this, because this is not easy for me. I really do appreciate what you have done for me. I really thank you for saving me."
Now Vaughn is smiling, still keeping his mouth shut. and I grab my bag and pull a carefully rapped box. I smile at him, and he is. well, he is in shock. He is dumbfounded.
"I hope you like things in this box, and if you don't, please don't hate me. I don't know what you like or you don't like." I tell him and hand him the box.
He seems completely shocked and speechless. This is so much fun. I have never seen him like this. Why was I that nervous? Now he takes the box with his both hands. his hands are shaking!
"Syd." was the only word he could manage. He holds the gift box with his both hands and looking at it.
"Syd. Uhm. thank you. You really didn't have to do this. I mean." He is still speechless. So I rescue him.
"Vaughn, I cannot thank you enough for things you have done for me. So this is just a way to say thank you." I say, looking at his eyes. I hope he can see how much I appreciate his help and support through my eyes.
I smile again. "Well, I should get home. Francie and Will are waiting for me."
"Wait! Can I open this now?" he suddenly asks with big goofy smile. Oh, no.
"Oh, no, please no.. I will be really embarrassed. Wait until you get home."
"But Syd.."
"Please. don't open it yet. I see you tomorrow in London?"
I feel much better now. I said it. It feels really good.I'm satisfied even though I should have said earlier. better than never. and I have never seen him like this. he is truly excited... his eyes are. alive, not worried, not tired. but alive.
"OK. Syd, thank you. You really didn't have to do this, you know." He says with a big smile.
"Well, I wanted to. Just don't tell my dad or Barnett. I have enough trouble coping with Slone; I don't want to be forced to see another psycho. I don't want to make my life worse than it already is."
We both smile and giggle. Now I wonder what Barnett is going to do if she finds out.
"Anyway, I really have to go. See you tomorrow. Have a nice flight". I say quickly.
"You too. And, really, thank you." Looking at his happy face, I believe it was definitely worth doing this.
I leave the warehouse. I have never felt this good for a long time. Why didn't I do this sooner? I take a deep breath; I get into my car and drive off. I smile at myself. I wonder if he is opening the box now. or can he wait? I drive off to home where my best friends are waiting for me.
......................................................................
(Chapter 3)
I pull my car and grab my bag. I have to go to London tomorrow night. It should be a simple mission, so there is nothing to be nervous about, but I am very nervous now. I am not nervous about this mission. I am nervous about. tonight, meeting with Vaughn.
I decided that I am going to say "thank you" to Vaughn. That's all and I am nervous about it. It's ridiculous!! What's wrong with me? I take a deep breath and get out of my car. I walk towards the door and open it. My hands are shaking.
May be I should say it when I come back from London. No, Syd! I tell myself. I promised myself to do this tonight.
Vaughn is waiting for me as usual. He is always waiting for me. I smile at him and say "Hey".
"Hey" He smiles at me.
I put my bag down and ask him, "How was your day?" calm down, don't show him that I'm nervous!!! But it's so hard!
He looked at me, a bit surprised. I usually don't ask him that question! What am I doing?! But he smiles again.
"Well, it was busy as usual but boring. I have finished some paper works and was late for the meeting but that's all. How was yours?"
"Same. Slone is still very creepy as usual but thankfully he didn't touch me. I did some paper work and left the office for some shopping. That's all. You got the information that I'm going to London tomorrow night?"
"Yeah. So here is what we are going to do. When you get the disk, go back to your hotel room and ask for the room service. The person will be a CIA agent and give him the disk so that we can make a copy. Then you call for the room service again, we will give the disk back to you."
"Ok, it seems fairly simple. So who is this agent?"
"Uhm, well, it will be me but I am not sure yet. I have never worked as a room service so, maybe Devlin will turn me down but if I practice enough tonight, I will be fine. Practice makes everything perfect. in theory anyway". He says, laughing.
OK, this mission is going to be quite good one. "Yeah, you should practice because Dixon might call you for the room service. You don't want to blow your cover, do you?" I smile at him.
We become quiet. I take a deep breathe, and get ready.and..
"Vaughn"
"Syd"
We both chuckle.
"You first" I say quickly. no, I didn't say that!
"No. well ok. I just wanted to know if you are ok. That's all." He is just too kind to me. I feel guilty for what happened last week.
"I'm fine." I give him a smile.
"OK..What were you going to say?" He asks with that smile. I take another deep breath.I think to myself, how many deep breathe do I need to take to say a simple phrase?
"Oh, I was just going to say.I just wanted to say." come on Syd, I tell myself. I am frustrated with myself. So I take another deep breath, again.
"I wanted to say that I really want to thank you for everything you have done for me so far". Here, I said it. I look at him. He is. frozen. Please say something Vaughn!
"Oh. what.?" now Vaughn becomes speechless. I smile at myself. and say
"I just wanted to say thank you to you." Ok, second time is much easier.
"I have wanted to say this for a while but somehow I didn't. I should have said long time ago and each time you saved me and helped me. Vaughn, thank you". Vaughn is looking at me, like I swallowed an apple, but gradually he smiles at me.
"Syd, you don't have to thank me." Here come again. nice-Vaughn is back, but I won't give him a chance to become Too-Nice-Vaughn.
"No, Vaughn. Please, just let me finish.", and so he closes his mouth ..Good.
"I really mean it. I have called you again and again in middle of the night, just because I needed someone to talk to. I am sure that your job description and contract don't include "answer to all calls your agent makes" or "do whatever to keep your agent sane". And I realised that I have never thanked you for all extra things you have to do to keep me from becoming crazy. So, please let me say this, because this is not easy for me. I really do appreciate what you have done for me. I really thank you for saving me."
Now Vaughn is smiling, still keeping his mouth shut. and I grab my bag and pull a carefully rapped box. I smile at him, and he is. well, he is in shock. He is dumbfounded.
"I hope you like things in this box, and if you don't, please don't hate me. I don't know what you like or you don't like." I tell him and hand him the box.
He seems completely shocked and speechless. This is so much fun. I have never seen him like this. Why was I that nervous? Now he takes the box with his both hands. his hands are shaking!
"Syd." was the only word he could manage. He holds the gift box with his both hands and looking at it.
"Syd. Uhm. thank you. You really didn't have to do this. I mean." He is still speechless. So I rescue him.
"Vaughn, I cannot thank you enough for things you have done for me. So this is just a way to say thank you." I say, looking at his eyes. I hope he can see how much I appreciate his help and support through my eyes.
I smile again. "Well, I should get home. Francie and Will are waiting for me."
"Wait! Can I open this now?" he suddenly asks with big goofy smile. Oh, no.
"Oh, no, please no.. I will be really embarrassed. Wait until you get home."
"But Syd.."
"Please. don't open it yet. I see you tomorrow in London?"
I feel much better now. I said it. It feels really good.I'm satisfied even though I should have said earlier. better than never. and I have never seen him like this. he is truly excited... his eyes are. alive, not worried, not tired. but alive.
"OK. Syd, thank you. You really didn't have to do this, you know." He says with a big smile.
"Well, I wanted to. Just don't tell my dad or Barnett. I have enough trouble coping with Slone; I don't want to be forced to see another psycho. I don't want to make my life worse than it already is."
We both smile and giggle. Now I wonder what Barnett is going to do if she finds out.
"Anyway, I really have to go. See you tomorrow. Have a nice flight". I say quickly.
"You too. And, really, thank you." Looking at his happy face, I believe it was definitely worth doing this.
I leave the warehouse. I have never felt this good for a long time. Why didn't I do this sooner? I take a deep breath; I get into my car and drive off. I smile at myself. I wonder if he is opening the box now. or can he wait? I drive off to home where my best friends are waiting for me.
......................................................................