Second chances
By Sinful Starlet
Chapter Eight - Reunion?
Disclaimer: see chapter one if you're really that interested, but once more for the record (all together now!) - Not mine, never will be, anything recognisable belongs to Tolkien and a very happy publishing company!
Rating: Still PG-13 unfortunately, I haven't worked out how to write angst with higher ratings yet! *SS*
Author's note: Legolas gets to see Arwen again, at last, but things are far from simple between them now. *SS*
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Chapter Eight - Reunion?
Summary: So Legolas is back at Rivendell - at the same time as Arwen, but how will she react to seeing him again after so long? *SS*
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Legolas caught up with Gandalf just as he was walking out into the woods at the end of Elrond's gardens. The two fell easily into step with each other, Gandalf seeing that the elf had something on his mind that he wanted advice about, or if not advice, then just someone to listen to him. But several minutes later, Legolas still hadn't managed to voice what was on his mind, turning it over and over in his head trying to think of the best way to say it, without giving too much away at once. He looked up at last to find Gandalf looking kindly down at him. Though Legolas was tall himself, the wizard still surpassed him in height, if but by a little.
"It is indeed good to see you", Legolas began at last, realising that he had to at least say something. "And to see you", Gandalf replied patiently, "though you said as much before and I am sure that is not why you sought me out now. Anything that was not beyond general conversation could have been said to me at the evening meal, which I believe you are supposed to be preparing for". "I am already dressed", Legolas pointed out, indicating his outfit, "so time is not a concern, but you are right, there is something more on my mind that I feel may be eased by a friend's counsel".
"I see", the wizard nodded, "but I am perhaps not the best person to be asking. Might not an elf find more useful guidance from another of his kindred? Lord Elrond, perhaps?" He studied Legolas' face carefully as he said those last words, and was rewarded with exactly the reaction he had been expecting. "You are friend to him too", Legolas replied carefully, though he could tell that Gandalf had already guessed much, "has he then spoken to you of the reason for my long absence from Imladris?" "He has said very little", Gandalf said, "as is often his custom, but I perhaps know more than has been said".
"It concerns the Lady Arwen, unless I am much mistaken", he went on, seeing that he was correct, "over four hundred years have passed and your feelings for her have not diminished at all have they?" "No", Legolas said, shaking his head and becoming more sorrowful and cheerless than Gandalf had ever seen him, "I have borne the exile as best I can, only to find that I am returned too late...", his eyes fell from Gandalf's gaze and it was some moments before he spoke again, "...no matter what occurred in the past, the lady's heart now belongs to another". They both fell silent again, Gandalf, though feeling the need to comfort his younger friend, not sure what words of consolation he could offer.
"It is true that she has formed an attachment to Aragorn", he said at last, placing a hand on Legolas' shoulder to console him, "but that does not mean that you have left her thoughts entirely". Those words gave Legolas more hope than he had held for a long time, though not enough to entirely forget the reality of the situation. "I will not tell you how to govern your own heart", Gandalf said, smiling kindly at the elf beside him, "but do not let such matters become set in stone to you, until you have spoken to the lady herself". "The two of you have more to resolve than anyone else can guess, at least allow some time for that to happen".
Legolas nodded, taking comfort in his friend's words, no matter how bleak his situation seemed. "You need not thank me", Gandalf said, smiling again at Legolas' surprise that the wizard had anticipated him. For the first time in what seemed like an age, Legolas was able to smile back, and the two made their way together towards the dining hall, and whatever would meet them when they arrived.
*
While all of this had been going on, Arwen had been preparing for the meal herself. She knew of the envoys arriving for her father's council in a few days time, but she still had no idea that Legolas was there. She had spent almost all of her time lately with Frodo, tending to him and nursing him back to health, and now that he was finally on the road to recovery, Elrond had sent her to rest. While Legolas had no time of his own to search for her, neither had Elrond, the only other person who would have told her of his return, as he had been in discussion with Aragorn and the hobbits before leaving to prepare himself for the meal. As such, she slept through the whole afternoon of Legolas' arrival, never seeing him or hearing tidings of his return until she stepped into the great hall that evening.
The hall was thronging with people when she arrived, so it would have been hard to notice anyone in particular, but once they began to sit and eat, she realised exactly who was there. She, herself, was seated with Elrond, Aragorn and the hobbits at the centre of the hall, but as her eyes cast around for her brothers, they found someone else entirely. At first she wasn't sure whether he was really there or whether it was a dream, but true enough, there he was seated at table with Gandalf, Glorfindel and her two older brothers. After all this time, he had finally returned, though for what purpose Arwen could not even guess, her head was swimming so witlessly, just at the sight of him.
He looked almost exactly the same as he had done the day she last saw him, though that was to be expected of elves. Her eyes swept unconsciously over his face again, comparing it to the memory that still burned in her mind. She felt her breath quicken and cursed inwardly for letting herself be so easily affected by him. Though one half of her heart was filled with happiness to see him again and to know that he was well, the other half still grieved for the way he had 'abandoned' her all those years ago. She felt cruelly torn between happiness and sadness in a way that she had never felt before and her inability to control her own emotions at that point scared her more than anything had for a long time.
She was not the only one feeling that way however, though she was not to know of course. Legolas had seen her the moment she entered the room, though he had tried not to show it. He had not yet spoken to Elrond about his return yet, and was not ready to risk another misstep. Not with what the possible consequences might be. He wouldn't do anything that could take him away from her again so soon. For the time being, he had to be content with the sight of her - and that was very nearly enough. His own memory didn't do her beauty justice, he decided. The only thing that tempered his joy was his grief at seeing her beside Aragorn. He took pains not to catch her gaze, though he could feel her eyes upon him from time to time.
At last the meal came to an end though, and people started to leave, going about their own business and moving into other rooms. Legolas looked round the room quickly, as he lost sight of Arwen in the muddle, only finding her again at last as Elrond led her away out of the room. If he was going to get the chance to talk to her and reconcile, then it wasn't to be at that moment. He caught Gandalf's eye as he looked back to answer the question that Elrohir had just asked him. Gandalf just nodded and he could practically hear the wizard's voice inside his head, "Be patient, the time will come". He didn't stay in the hall for much longer, deciding that he needed some time to think, so he took to the woods around Elrond's house, seeking solace among the soft sounds of the trees.
*
Legolas sighed in contentment as he rested against the comfortable back of an oak tree, marvelling in the beauty of the sky over Rivendell. He had truly missed this place, and the passage of four centuries had done nothing to diminish its natural beauty. He sighed at that thought, thinking how easily those same words could apply to something else...or someone else in Elrond's sanctuary. Arwen. For many long years he had waited to see her again, just to catch one glimpse of her, and now he had and he couldn't tell which was worse - the longing for her, or the heartbreak he felt at seeing her with Aragorn.
He tried to shake the image from his mind, it did him no good to dwell on such thoughts. He had acted impatiently all those years ago, and now he was paying for it. It was no less than he deserved after all, for violating Elrond's trust in him, but did the punishment really have to be so severe? He sighed again and tried to focus his attention back on the night sky. Just as he did so though, he heard someone approaching. He had no cause to believe that it would be someone hostile - Rivendell was extremely well-guarded, but all the same, he sat up and watched carefully to see who was approaching, though he had to suppress a gasp when he saw who it actually was.
"Lady Arwen", he breathed as she walked towards him, but she only drew a finger to her lips, motioning for him to be quiet as she led him a little way away from his former resting place. "I'm sorry", she said, as they finally came to a rest a few minutes later, "but we were still in view of the house back there, and I did not want to draw any undue attention to us". Legolas nodded, he truly did not know what to say to her now that she was here, but being this close to her was driving him crazy.
She eventually stopped looking about her, to check that they had not been followed, and turned back to face the male elf, whose hand she was still holding. She quickly dropped the hand when she realised, only for Legolas to catch hers again and bring it slowly to his lips, planting the softest of kisses upon her skin. She couldn't help but sigh a little at his touch after so many years, but then she checked herself and drew away from him again. "Don't Legolas...please", she said, walking a little way away from him, "do not think we can merely fall back into the relationship we once had - that ended long ago".
Legolas couldn't reply to this at first, although every word had stung him severely. He had expected her to be upset, but there was something else in her voice that sounded like anger, and that he had not expected. "I'm sorry my Lady, I did not mean to presume anything, but please do not be angry with me...I have missed you greatly and I did not want our first words after all this time to be those of resentment". "You did not want?", Arwen practically snapped in response, forgetting her elven manners and bearing, "How dare you speak to me of resentment?!"
Legolas was now even more confused, Arwen was clearly enraged with him, and her eyes, though they shed no tears, held some of that tell-tale liquid. "Arwen please", he begged, trying to come closer to her to comfort her, "tell me what I have done wrong, I truly never meant to hurt you". She instantly pulled back from his protective embrace, "If you truly cared for me you would never have abandoned me all those years ago", he looked at her in confusion as she said those words, "I woke up that morning to find you gone with no hint of when, if ever, your return might be. Four hundred years is a long time, Legolas, but alas not long enough to forget".
Legolas was completely taken aback, Elrond hadn't told his daughter what had been said between them. He knew the elven lord had been upset with them both, but to leave his daughter in that much pain and confusion seemed most out of character. "Arwen", he tried again, his voice growing gentler by the second, "I'm not sure whether it will mean much to you now - you probably won't even believe me, but I did not just leave you that morning". Despite her pain and slight anger, Arwen couldn't help but listen when she heard those words.
"Your father saw us together, when he came to talk to you that morning - he woke me and told me that I had to leave. He said that I had betrayed his trust and he banished me from Rivendell until the expiration of a third yén from that date. I wanted to say goodbye to you, but he wouldn't let me. He said he would explain it to you later". Arwen could not speak for several minutes after he had finished. She wanted to believe him, but she found it impossible to think that her own father, who had loved her above all others, could have lied to her for all this time. "You're lying", she said after a while, although her voice was barely above a whisper.
"Arwen please", Legolas tried again, "look at me", he said, lifting up her chin so she was forced to look him in the eye. "I know that I have hurt you, but you have to believe me", he paused as he saw that his words were having at least some little effect, "I have never once lied to you, I could never be less than completely honest with you". He paused again, trying to find the courage to say his next few words, "And I could never abandon you, I have and always will lov--". "Legolas, don't", Arwen said, pulling away from him and starting to walk away. "Even if what you are saying is true, you must now know of my relationship with Aragorn", she saw from his expression that he had, "don't you see that my heart is not free to give you...even if I desired it?"
Those last few words gave Legolas a new sense of hope. She had said that she was with Aragorn, but he did not yet have all of her love. "You know I would never tell you to make any choice you were unhappy with", he said at last, "but I would ask of you only this - search your heart. If it is only Aragorn that now resides there, marry him and be content. If any doubt remains though, do not rush into any decision that cannot be re-made". He walked over to her as he continued to speak, stopping only a few inches away from her, "I would not wish you to live with regrets", he said. "I will abide by whatever decision you make, but I hope we may always remain friends".
They were now so close together, they could feel each other's breath against their skin, and Arwen felt her pulse quicken. She sighed as her eyes gently closed, and she revelled in just the feeling of being this close to him after so many years. She heard him say, "I should go", before her eyes fluttered open again, and she looked up to see that he hadn't moved even a single step. "Legolas--", she started to say, but she didn't get the chance to finish. Before she knew what was happening, Legolas had bent down to draw level with her face and kissed her lips so gently she barely felt it. Her eyes fell closed again, and this time when she opened them, he had gone.
Right *prepares for the heavy objects about to be thrown at her* - that's actually all I've got written so far! Well, I've got some other later stuff done, but in terms of the flow of the story, this is as far as I've managed to get. It is all planned though, so it's just a matter of finding time to actually write it up - and I do have to do some work for uni eventually! Anyway, I will try and update soon, but you might have to be patient with me for a while! *SS*