Second Chances
By Sinful Starlet
Chapter Ten - What the watcher saw - part two
Disclaimer: I did the whole 'not mine' rant in the first part, so check there if you actually want to read a proper disclaimer.
Rating: PG-13 if that. This chapter's a bit talky but it has to be - sorry!
Author's note: Okay, I realise that it has been SO long since I last updated but I got a little distracted with a couple of Dark Angel stories and some evil university essays! So - just to recap, Legolas and Arwen have finally seen each other again, but now she is engaged to Aragorn. One of them has to come to a decision about their future - but are things ever that simple? *SS*
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Chapter Ten - What the watcher saw - part two (I was feeling a little unoriginal on title and I decided that 'what the watcher saw' was fairly appropriate to this part too!)
Summary: Story continues. Arwen struggles to reconcile her feelings, but she has to come to a decision once and for all. But what will happen when someone gets the wrong impression?
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Arwen ran all the way back to the house and just recovered her composure in time to go and see her father. She claimed to be feeling unwell and retired to her room, escaping the chance of being confronted with both Aragorn and Legolas at the morning meal. She walked slowly back to her room, all the while trying to reason her way through what had just happened. After all this time, Legolas was still very much in her heart, but she still cared for Aragorn too, and choosing one over the other seemed like a terrible choice to make.
She dismissed Elennia and pretended that she was going to go back to sleep, asking only to be undisturbed before the evening. Though, in fact as soon as the door was closed she got up again from her bed and went to sit in a chair by her window. She sat there for hours, gently rocking forwards and back, the motion soothing her internal conflict. No matter what she would have liked to think, Arwen's heart still cherished Aragorn, but her soul ached for Legolas. She had grieved so much during their separation, hating him for abandoning her, but as she had learnt, even that had not been his fault. But even if it was true that she still loved him, could she really bring herself to break her promise to Aragorn?
She sat by that window all day, watching dawn turn to midday and then to dusk, watching the sun's progress across the sky, seeming slow even to an immortal being such as herself. At last, a little over an hour before the evening meal, she came to a decision. It was probably the hardest thing she would ever have to say, but she had to tell him the truth. She got up and dressed for the meal, explaining to Elennia, who had been waiting in the next chamber that she was just going for a walk before the meal. As soon as that was done she headed straight for the gardens, knowing by instinct exactly where he would be.
*
"Arwen," he said, smiling as he saw her approaching and standing up to greet her, "how are you feeling? Lord Elrond said you were unwell this morning". "I am well enough," Arwen said, forcing a smile herself, though she felt little like smiling inside. She moved away to sit down on the bench that he had been sitting on moments before, waiting before he sat down beside her before she said anything else. And even then, the words didn't seem to come, however much she had convinced herself that this was the right thing to do, it suddenly became so much harder once she was actually sitting here, looking into his kind eyes.
"Arwen?" he said again after another moment had passed and she still had not spoken. "I am sorry," she said, looking down to avoid his eyes as she tried to say what she had to, "but what I have to say is not easy to say or to hear". She chanced a look at his face then, and found it creased in a careworn frown. "Arwen," he began again, his voice soft, comforting, "I will hear whatever you feel you need to say, even if I may not like what I hear". She looked up again at that, but saw no anger or reproach in his face. She breathed deeply once more, taking his hand in hers and starting to speak again, "I hardly know how to say this but you deserve to know how I truly feel".
"First let me assure you that you have never done anything to cause me pain, although what I am about to say may injure you more than I would like," she said, her voice hesitant and unsteady, "I can only say that something I once thought was lost forever to me, has returned and no matter how I have tried to reconcile myself to the path that I chose to follow with you, that way is no longer clear to me". He sat in silence for several moments before he spoke again, until at last he said, "When you say something you thought was lost, you mean someone, don't you?"
She looked up quickly, but there was still no anger in his eyes, just a somewhat pained understanding, underscored with the love he clearly still felt for her. "Aragorn, I…", she started before trailing off, he was obviously right, and what comfort could she offer him now. "Do not blame yourself, Arwen," Aragorn said, gently squeezing her hand, "you were long hesitant before you gave your heart to me, and I always wondered what prior claims it may have had". "I know you well enough to see the pain it is causing you to say this to me, and I understand how futile it is to fight the path of our true feelings".
"Legolas is clearly your soul's true mate," he went on, stunning her into silence, "and what kind of man would I be to stand in the way of the one person who could honestly make you happy?" "But," Arwen replied, still so shocked she found it difficult to know what to say, but seeing there was no point in denying it, "how did you know that it was Legolas that I spoke of?" Aragorn smiled, "As I said, Arwen, I know you well enough". "Besides," he went on, "he is roughly the right age, he is of a noble royal family of Mirkwood, and he is obviously very much in love with you".
"He was not as careful as he might have thought he was being when he rode together towards this house", Aragorn continued. Arwen sighed and closed her eyes, a slight smile crossing her face, "No sign ever escapes your notice does it, Aragorn?" she said, opening her eyes to look at him, "My brothers were right about you". Aragorn nodded, sharing the smile, he remained silent for another minute before he said, "Have you told Legolas how you feel?" "Not yet," Arwen said, the smile falling from her face again, "I did not truly know my own heart until today, and once I did I had to see you first".
Aragorn smiled again, seeing beyond any doubt that she did still care for him, if not as much as he had hoped. But before he could speak again, Arwen interrupted his thoughts, "I am so sorry, Aragorn - you must believe that this was the last thing I ever expected, and I never wanted to cause you pain". Aragorn waved away her concern though, "You have caused me no more harm than I would have caused you if you had chosen to remain with me out of some sense of obligation - I may not possess the wisdom of your years, but I am wise enough to see that".
"All I want is for you to be happy, Arwen," he continued, taking her other hand in his as well, "and if that means that you are to be with Legolas, then I give you both my blessing". Arwen wavered on the edge of tears, a few tell-tale drops escaping her eyes. "Ssh," said Aragorn, soothingly, pulling her into a gentle embrace before releasing her to speak once more, "whatever else, you will always have my friendship, Arwen". "And you, will always have mine," Arwen replied, leaning forward to gently kiss his lips one last time.
*
But what neither of the two in the garden that night realised was that there was a third person there too. A silent observer of all that passed between them, but an observer who only saw what transpired, staying too far away to hear a single word that they spoke. He hesitated for a moment, but then saw that he had come to late. Arwen kissed Aragorn. She had obviously made her choice. He didn't wait even another second, slipping away as quietly as he had come, the two he had watched none the wiser as to what had just happened.
Only minutes later he was back in his room, hastily re-packing all of his belongings, only stopping to write a letter to Lord Elrond. He could no longer stay in that house, but he would not return to his home before imparting the news that he had been sent to deliver. He quickly finished the letter, intending to simply leave it with one of Elrond's attendants, saying that urgent business had called him away. He was all ready to leave, casting one last sorrowful look around the room and the garden his balcony opened onto.
Gathering his cloak around his shoulders, he picked up the letter and headed for the door, stopping only when a knock came from outside. He quickly removed his cloak again, hiding his travelling bags for a second and replacing the letter on the writing desk. "Come in," he said once this was done. The door opened for only a second to admit the single occupant standing on the other side. It was Arwen.