She's run off, hadn't yelled, she'd just left without saying a word. I called her name but she just ignored me. I can't believe what I have done.
I can't believe I slept with her.
She was a virgin.
What have I done, I took her virginity. Why didn't I stop, Why didn't she stop me. Why didn't I want to stop? I know that one; it was sex, who's going to stop that, definitely not me. I need to talk to her. I need to see her and we need to work this out. Why did it have to be with her, if it was with anyone else it would have been so much easier, it would have been ok if they had left without saying a word.
But why is this different, Why can't I move on. One-night stands are nothing new to me, sex is nothing new to me, but to her it was.
I picked up the phone, I tried to call her, but I thought better of that. Why can't I just forget about this and just move on. I have no idea. What am I suppose to do now. I suppose he ignoring me is better than her yelling at me. At least we aren't fighting. That's what started this all. I need to get out of here; I need to do something to get her off my mind. I need to stop thinking about her. Why won't she leave my mind, the moments last night, its imprinted in there forever. I hate her, I hate her so much. I hate her for making me like this.
I had her and now I can go find someone else, another 'Mary'.
Why is this so different? Why has everything changed now? Why did it feel so good?
Why did it feel perfect?