Please forgive the delay on this chappie! My little brain was having a few...erm, problems with Malik's character. His angst side seems to be taking over! ^_^; We'll get some slap-happy Malikies in here at some point, if I'm lucky.

Malik: I really doubt that. =_=

Oh come on, Malik, you aren't always angsty!

Malik: Bah. I'm doing disclaimer--

If Megami owned Yugioh, I would have replaced Yami no Yuugi as main character. And there would be shounen ai / yaoi. Like in Gravitation.

Reviews~

benign sadist~ I'm glad you think it's original! ^^ I was worried that someone else would have already come up with the idea, which is why I didn't post it for so long.

Jay Kamiya~ ^-^ I hope you keep liking it as it progresses--I'm going to have to work extra hard to make it worthy of all my reviews!

Nezumiiro~ Heh, the only ones that Malik will respond to are the ones that seem to question him. He won't answer everything--that's how he is. =3

rikus-angel~ the scary thing is how easy it is to write in Malik P.O.V. O.o He's a really deep character though, so just about anything he writes is likely to turn to angst, because he internalizes so much. I wonder, though, if I've put too much of myself into this? O.o;

Cygna-hime~ That would be a REALLY sexy commandment. (Sorry, I use sexy to describe anything ^^) Do tell me about whatever idea you come up with =3 I was thinking about making a journal account with his name, but I was worried that someone would think it was real.

RBMIfan~ Ryou and Yuugi were going to find it anyway, but I'm glad someone else thought of it as well! ^_^ I don't think Megami should transfer to Domino, though, because I would wind up trying to take over the story =3; assuming I make a plot. I might make a story just for that... where Megami does go to Domino. But I don't want to have a bunch of people yelling at me for my Mary Sue-ness o.o;; That's what she would be, wouldn't she? Bah, I don't understand the term "Mary Sue" very well @-@

Escuro de la Lus~ Hee ^-^ I'm glad you like it. You'll find out what's wrong with him in a while... I'm trying to find out more about it myself =3 Maybe another update before you learn about it, though!

kaehimi~ ^-^ I think he would write a normal journal too, and I might have him put in some of his writings from when he was younger. When I think of Malik, I think of a lot of things =3;; some of which are a little wrong. But he's an amazing character--writing this is so much fun ^_^ I'm going to try to make a lot more entries by the time summer is up.

Kee~ I don't think I've ever gotten eight reviews on one chapter of anything! ^_^ I'm so happy!

Malik: Calm yourself.

Bah! XD Keep the reviews coming everyone!



~*Wednesday, June 4, 2003: Birthday and Confusion*~

It was Yuugi's birthday today. Fun. I have to admit, we had a pretty good time. Yami no Bakura and I dunked Kaiba in the pool while he was still dressed, which although it may sound suicidal, was fun as hell. He chased us with a lawnmower until Yuugi gave him a time out. Gotta admit, I never would have pictured Kaiba as whipped by anybody. Hm. Maybe he's got a thing for Yuugi and not Jyounouchi? I don't understand those people...

Oh yes. I mentioned finding out something interesting about them. Well, actually, I am probably the only one who will find it interesting. With the help of the sen'en items, Yuugi, Jyounouchi, Honda, and Anzu went into Yami no Yuugi's kokoro no heya and then later into Ancient Egypt to search for Pharaoh's name. I don't think they found it, but in the interim Yami no Bakura got some memories back of how the sen'en items were made. Of course, not even Pharaoh knows about that because he was only five at the time.

But the thing I found that was interesting was that they all remain so happy after what's happened. The only person in that group (I say "that" because I am not really a part of it) that did not make it into the kokoro no heya was Ryou, because of Yami no Bakura. Or rather, he was the only one who did not make it in that way. Don't quite know how he did get in, though.

Somehow they all managed to get into Yami no Yuugi's time to search for his name. Don't ask me how--I was not there. They came back and returned to normal life without any change! As if nothing had happened...

Yuugi's friends seem to be like that. They don't find it strange that two of their friends have spirits from Egypt inside their bodies, that one of those spirits has repeatedly tried to kill the other, or that they are being dragged along a sort of ride through destiny's little quirks. They're always just... happy with everything. I think it's interesting... And messed up.

How can people be happy and content knowing full well that two people around them have tried (more than once) to end their lives? Yami no Bakura tried killing them in a shadow game, and I tried to kill them all. Well, Yuugi, Jyounouchi, Anzu, Mokuba, and Pharaoh. I never actually tried to kill Ryou--although I almost let him die.

Che. I'm such a friend, aren't I?

~*Monday, June 16: Forgive and forget?*~

Yuugi and Ryou found my journal and e-mailed me about it. Or rather, they e-mailed my 'neesan, as I haven't gotten myself an e-mail yet. Maybe I will... I haven't decided yet. Now then, for those of you who don't know them, Mutou Yuugi is the current champion of Magic & Wizards in Japan, probably in the world too. He's this little short kid with the biggest damn heart in the world. It's a little scary, though... how much he's willing to forgive. I mean--my Ra, the kid invited me to his birthday. I tried to kill him less than a year ago! Something really hates me--I think the only reason the gods made Yuugi so forgiving and nice was because it would punish me. Or... I would think that, but I know that it isn't true. Yuugi's just one of those wonderful people that the world needs more of.

Now Bakura Ryou... bah, I have a lot I can say about him, more than I should even think about. He isn't a very good duelist, he's quiet, composed, polite, and is just as forgiving as Yuugi, if not more so. He and I are very close friends, as are Yami no Bakura and I. (Would it be Yami no Bakura and me? I honestly don't know these languages well enough yet... oh well. It's probably I.) Ryou has long white hair and really pretty brown eyes. And if anyone has a problem with me saying that about another guy, you can shove it. Ryou's too pretty to be a guy. He's forgiven me for leaving a horrible gash on his arm (which hasn't healed yet...) and for dragging him into a situation where he died. It's complicated--he died but he's not dead anymore, and I won't bother explaining because I don't understand it entirely.

But now that you know about these two, I can get down to it. They never seem to stop surprising me with their kindness. I won't copy the entire e-mail, and I'm keeping their contact addresses secret because I doubt they want rabid people e-mailing them.

"...Malik-kun, how can you be so hard on yourself all the time? Don't you have any idea what a good person you are? Why do you let the past haunt you when we've forgiven what you did?"

That was part of Yuugi's e-mail. It surprises me (somewhat) that he uses '-kun', seeing as that is kind of affectionate and familiar. But then, he also uses it for Kaiba. Yuugi is just the sort of person who would call your mother "mom" and take your little sister to a dance just so she would not have to go alone. He never stops amazing me.

I did not respond to his e-mail, because 'neesan did not want her business e-mail getting personal stuff. So I'll put my response here. I'm sure he'll read it.

The reason I'm always hard on myself is because I really should be. I've hurt the best people in my life, I've hurt people I don't even know, and I didn't feel any remorse for it until recently. If I were really a good person, I would not have done most of the things I did. I've killed people, Yuugi, and I almost killed more. I'm a self-made bastard; I killed my father when I was eleven. Admittedly, I did not realize I was doing it. Yami no Malik took over. But he isn't like your yami, Yuugi... he's the manifestation of my hate. Maybe he was another person at one time, but that's why he is now. Not was, is. We defeated him in a shadow game and locked him into the shadow realm, but I can still hear him in my heart. It's painful to think about. I doubt I'll ever completely sever myself from him. I'm not so good a person as you think. You may have forgiven me, but you're completely selfless.....

I'll write more another time. I need to go collect myself.

~*To Be Continued*~

Kee. This took longer than I'd planned. Again, hopefully the wait for the next won't be too long! ^_^ Please R&R.

Translation & Notes:

June 4~ Yes, that is Yuugi's birthday. ^-^ He's a Gemini!

sen'en item~ sen'en means "thousand year," so that would be "thousand year item" In the English version, they call them "Millennium items" instead.

kokoro no heya~

Soul room ^^

June 16~ ^-^ My birthday! XD

Mutou Yuugi, Bakura Ryou~ In Japan, last name goes before first name. Hence Mutou Yuugi and Bakura Ryou.

Magic & Wizards~ Also known as Duel Monsters in the English and Anime. ^-^ Wanted to stick to what I know from the manga, as there are some differences between the two, even if both are cannon.