Kyaa! Gomen nasai! Everyone, I'm so sorry. I've had this chapter finished for about a week now, but we've been having some serious problems with the new computer, and I had to pass my Algebra class, and... @_@

Malik: And she can't multitask at all. You got distracted by your Seto*Jyou fic too!

Yes. That. Expect one of those coming up in a while ^_^; Wowie, I've got a lot of thank you's to get to, so I'd best do that now. And I've commandeered Kumagorou-chan and Ryuuichi from Gravitation (Read that manga!) for the disclaimer, so here they are:

Ryuuichi: Megami doesn't own Yuu-Gi-Ou! ^_^ Right Kumagorou-chan?

Kumagorou-chan: ^-^ *flop*

Ryuuichi: And she doesn't have any money either! ^_^ Because she's got no job. So we can't sue her. And if anyone has a problem, I'll hit you with my KUMAGOROU-BEAM ^O^

They're so cute *_* Must write Gravitation fic too...

Reviews~

Adelianna~ Yeah ^_^; I messed up. I needed to fix it...and I did! Yay! I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to keep it completely out... I can delay it for a while, but that's about it. And like I said earlier, it won't be big. ^^; And I figure Megami just weaseled a picture away from him. She's got powers like that! (Malik: =_= nutcase author.)

Bakura's Baby~ *glomples* Yay! Glad you think it's fun, Rain-chan! ^O^ Lovie muchles! (Yes, I know she read the other chappie, but still XD)

Cygna-hime~ The Utena movie is incredible. But it's also very confusing, and implies a lot of things. Malik's going to need to touch on the 'slimy/scaly/poisonous/gross animal' thing (Malik: QUIT MAKING PROMISES AND WRITE THAT CHAPTER!), and there's another snake in this chappie just for ye ^O^

RBMIfan~ I am trying! ^_^; Really, really hard. But it's not working so wonderfully, because I'm also writing a shounen ai manga for TokyoPop's contest. And in doing that, I've been reading quite a few other manga of the same type, like FAKE and Gravitation. And just for clarification (this is pretty much for everyone, not just you =D) shounen ai focuses on the feelings rather than the physical nature of a relationship. It's fluffy and sappy and gets flowers all over the place ^_^; even Card Captor Sakura had some in it, and that's as deep as this will go. Especially since I don't plan on actually getting Malik with anyone for a long, long time. Okay, end of group announcement ^_^;; I'm glad you count this as a story! I may write something to parallel this, just to get some more dialogue in... Malik's POV is fun, but I think I want some other characters to have some say, too ^_^;

Jay Kamiya~ You never e-mailed me, Jay-san ;O; *sobble* Again, whatchoo mean 'normal entry'? O-o.

Evil Chibi Malik~ Yay! I love you! ^O^ Not only do you have a totally sexy name, but you also don't hate shounen ai! ^--^ I hope you like the story from herein, seeing as I'm trying to put shounen ai in without actually having any (does that make sense?@_@)

Innocence Within~ Aiyaa, you're so flattering! XD;; I'll be sure to check up on your story once my internet-bound computer comes back to life. Plasmacompie got a virus ;o; or something. And no, I haven't got a beta. I once had Pikachumaniac beta for me though (the first chapter)! It was such an honor ^__^; Depending on the length of your chapters, I may be able to beta for you ^^

Escuro de la Lus~ No problem, I was glad to send it to you ^^ Gotta keep my readers happy! Malik, if I ever get to it, should be paired with Bakura Ryou. But it's far more interesting if he doesn't get with him yet! (Malik: Why are you matching me up with my friend? You nutcase!) But, because I'm getting so much opposition on the shounen ai thing, there may not be anything for a long while. Tenshi is fun! My friend has decided to write a Ryou journal (not that I've been able to get her to post it yet..) And Tenshi's making a cameo ^-^ If I'm lucky and can bribe her with Tsuzuki x Hisoka pretties, I may get her to colab. with me on this. Two stories running parallel! Wh00t!

Queen Ali B~ ooh, Yami lives with you? ^O^ how utterly sexy! Malik lives here with me, completely against his will. But I give him chocolate, so he's happy. (Malik: It's less expensive than the rent at Suppi's house =_=) And yes, Kurama-kun is very pretty! *giggle* Malik's earrings are so big, how can't Tenshi-chan run into them? And yeah, Isis will dote on him until we give him to Ryou. ^_^; I figure it's better to lose a guy to another guy than to lose him to a girl. Because then it isn't like "oh my god! She's better than me!" ^^

Erato~ Don't cry, Erato-san! ^O^ *hands you big Malik plush* The story's going to continue, no problem! Even if I've got to bribe my friends to let me use their internet connections to update (which I will)! I'm so glad you like it ^_^ I've read a lot of very beautiful Malik stories, and almost all of them have been yaoi (ohohoh XD; I'm so corrupt) or shounen ai. I love Malik with great gobs of love XD! (Malik: O-O help me.)

Yay! Nine reviews for this chapter! ^_^ (thirteen, if I'd count Queen Ali B-san's reviews for the other chapters with it, along with Rainchan's review for chapter four =D) I'm so happy! I've really got to work on updating better. And with Plasmacompie dead, it looks like I'll have a lot more writing time... (*sob* my poor Plasmacompie! MY GRAVI PLAYLIST *SOB*)

Oh, warnings for this chapter: Yes... there's shounen ai. But it's more like... blatant denial of the existence of it. You'll like! And Megami's back. Wiccan beliefs around, and some incredibly mild anti-Christian stuff. Nothing horrible, I probably shouldn't even be warning you all in advance. ^_^; Please R&R!

~*Friday July 11th, Woman Power?*~

They say that if two people share a dream, it must mean they're somehow connected. Best friends, lovers, family...something like that. Dreams are also a reflection of yourself. A child in a dream is your child-self and water is every conceivable emotion known to man. Or woman. Imagery made by the subconscious while you're sleeping--that's all dreams are 'supposed' to be. If you dream of killing someone, you're dissatisfied with a part of yourself that the person you kill reminds you of. Or something like that.

Now then, I've been talking to Megami about the strange dreams I've been having of late. She's my shrink for free (although she says that when she comes to Japan I have to take her out on the town and show her everywhere on my bike). Before I share her response, I should probably share my dream (that would only make sense, ne?) just as it was when I sent it to her.

It was raining. And I was lying on my back in a garden full of flowers... roses, pinks, iris', lilies, daises, all sorts of flowers. It was incredibly dark, even though I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be daytime. I could not move; my body was ignoring me. Like I was half asleep. And my chest was hurting a lot. I think I was crying... at least, I wanted to. But the sky was crying for me, so I could not tell.

I lay there for a while before I heard footsteps and I got scared. I don't think that I was supposed to be in the garden. In my fear I finally managed to get up and hide beneath a rose bush. The roses were a deep, dark crimson, and the thorns were even tipped a rusty red. Whatever was coming had a cloak on, so I couldn't see their face or anything. It passed me--I was terrified out of my mind! My blood even ran cold, and everything around me got blurry. My heart was racing, and I blacked out. Well, I think I did, because the next thing I knew, I was being held by someone. I didn't open my eyes to see who it was, though. I knew it wasn't 'neesan, and I was sure that it was not Rishido. I had changed, too. I was a little kid again. I got scared; what if it was Yami no Malik? Trembling, I tried to squirm away from him, but his hold tightened on my shoulders. And he spoke.

"Daijobu desu. It's okay."

Suddenly, I felt better--like a huge weight was taken off of my shoulders. The person holding me wasn't an enemy or a stranger or anything like that--it was Ryou! I was incredibly relieved. And, by added bonus, he had said that it would be fine. Therefore, it would be. Just like that, I stopped crying, and the rain stopped. Ryou stood up and helped me to my feet before he knelt before me so that we were eye-level with one another. I was about as high as his waist, which is not much. He told me not to be sad because I was not alone. And someone was looking after me who wouldn't want me upset. Then these beautiful white wings came out of his back and he hovered up into the sky. The clouds behind him parted, and he smiled at me.

"Someone is always watching after you," he said, "and I'll be there if you need anything." Then he flew up into the sky and disappeared, followed by the clouds. I was happy, even though he was gone, because he said I would not be alone. Everything was sparkling and bright, like some kind of weird filter had been put over the sky.

I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Inside one of the rose bushes, something was stirring. I went to see what it was, and it was a pure white snake! Nearly two feet long, and coiled around the base and trunk of the rose bush. She came out and climbed up my arm, then started talking to me. I felt at peace. Don't remember what she said, but it made me feel really good about myself and my situation. Then 'neesan woke me up.

Now then. I don't really know how I linked the snake to being female before it spoke to me. But I do know that she was a good omen (unlike certain cobras I've met...) and Megami agreed with me. She said that the snake, as far as she knew, represented the Goddess. Snake is powerful and represents sexual, spiritual, and feminine energy. She then said that snake must have had a good reason to come to me in the dream, and that if I'd seen it before, it was most likely one of my spirit animals. Totem animals, that is. It's a Native American belief. She also thinks that Tenshi-chan is probably a guardian as well, and she's pressed me to find out what kind of bird she is.

"The red roses represent many possible things," she said. "When people die, their caskets are lined with red silk, and red bouquets of roses are usually left at the graves. This is kind of old fashioned, but it used to be what positively everyone did. Red is also associated with blood with women. For obvious reasons." This was in an e-mail, and I've got to admit, it made me laugh. 'Neesan was reading over my shoulder and wigged out at seeing it. ...Good Ra, I'm picking up on her American terms. Anyhow, 'neesan freaked and went 'Oh God, who are you talking to about that sort of thing, Malik!?' or something along those lines. I laughed, though, because up until a few months ago, I wouldn't have known what she was talking about. Temporary train-derailment time!

According to Ryou and Yuugi, they learned about the whole 'growing up' 'girl to woman' 'boy to man' (which Yuugi accidently said as 'boy to woman' 'girl to man'. He freaked out, and Ryou and I laughed our asses off. Damn was that funny.) in fifth and sixth grade. Ryou learned when he was eleven, and Yuugi when he was twelve. Given that time table, it makes perfect sense for me to be oblivious, as I was literally under a rock for most of my life, before joining and taking over the GHOULS. I learned after 'neesan had an embarrassing accident of sorts, involving Yami no Bakura and dirty laundry bombs. (No, I don't know why we have wars with that stuff... suffice to say, we're nuts?) Back to the intended story.

"Maybe you're getting in touch with a feminine guardian?" Megami's e-mail went on to explain, "Or maybe a guardian wants to get something across to you? Have you ever seen a woman in your dreams protecting you?" The answer to that is, yes, I have. A woman with striking beauty--she's got onyx hair going down to her waist, and these positively stunning indigo eyes. She's young, not much older than 'neesan, and looks like her quite a bit. Sans eye color, of course. We--that being 'neesan, Rishido, and I--think that she could be mother. Again, Megami agreed on that over the phone. She also told me that everything in a dream is a representation of yourself, to a degree. Seeing Ryou come tell me that everything would be okay, and more importantly believing him, meant to her that there's a part of me with a positive need to be protected above anything. And that he seems to represent that protection I needed after seeing the cloaked thing. She also asked if he was the most important person in my life, outside of the family, and then somehow managed to get into a rant about a manga called "Prologue to Forever". It's a shounen ai manga, and therefore, I'll probably not read it. Especially since she was ranting about Kagerou being so much like me, and Aida being like Ryou, and...

Well, she went off topic after that. The gist I got from the dream was that I'm either totally insane, or a part of me is still scared of Yami no Malik. I'm going to just assume that he's the man in the cloak. And that I'm still going to Ryou for help. And the Goddess wants to protect me, or somehow connect to me to get a point across. I guess that makes sense, and I like the idea of something wanting me to be safe. I don't much care for the Christian all encompassing God thing, though, because when I was younger, chichiue was the equivalent to God. And he was all encompassing. But he was a monster a lot of the time, always in the name of his warped justice. And God is like a Pharaoh. Good for the masses, but not necessarily the individual. But that's just what I think. Goddess appeals to me more, because it makes more sense for Her to be compassionate. Women are like that, men aren't. Oh Ra, I'm turning into a woman's activist...

I told Ryou about the dream yesterday over coffee. "I had a dream just like that!" he said, "I was in a garden just like you described. And I saw a little kid lying on the path, half way underneath a rose bush." he then described the same scene as I had seen in the dream, but from his angle. He didn't really think that the boy was me though, when he had it, because he had no tattoos around his eyes, or my earrings, and no scars on his back. He also said something about the eyes being very different. "That was you, then?" I remember him looking surprised when I nodded. "But, Malik-kun, he was so scared... you're always helping me when I'm upset, why would you be that sad now? Since everything's said and done, I'd expect you to be happy now." I told him that I had no idea why my dream-self was so upset. He looked dubious, and I smiled.

"Do I look sad now?" I asked him, gesturing around. "I'm in a nice cafe, with some damn good coffee, with the best company I can imagine! I'm positively spoilt!" Ryou seemed to believe me, at least a little. That or he recognized my emotional mask and decided to let me deceive myself. He knows me very well, but sometimes seems to let me make mistakes because they're my choices. He's strange like that. I don't know if it's really my choice (Well, I guess it could be, but...), but I'm frankly terrified to drop my mask. Or my walls, for that matter. I'm scared that I'll never get the control back. I don't trust myself in the least.

Somehow, though, I think that if Ryou told me to make that blind leap, I would. He's my best friend and closest ally, even if I usually spend more time with Yami no Bakura. Bak' and I could spend a month together in the same pants (Get your minds out of the gutter!!) and one day with Ryou would mean a hundred times more. He and I just click; we've got a Leyline running between us, and it draws us closer every day. Bakura and I aren't that close.

But, I can't help but wonder, just how close will it bring us? When I'm around Ryou, I feel so peaceful, and that's not something I get to be often. Every day seems so special... and wipe that grin off your face, Megami, I told you I wasn't pining for him!

Cough. Cough I say! I know you're all reading this and getting the complete and total wrong idea! Ryou and I are just friends, nothing more! And all of you rabid yama nashi ochi nashi imi nashi fangirls, go write something about Pharaoh and Seto! I've said it before, I'll say it again: Ryou and I are only friends. And that's how it's going to stay. More to the point of 'oh, but you're so cute' (Damn you, Megami, your voice is talking to me in my head. Stop laughing!), I'd best remind you that I firmly believe that Bak' should be involved with Ryou. They're perfect opposites! It's part of the whole yami and omote...thing. Two halves of the soul, come together to be one being. See? It's like soul mates. And my yami didn't count for shit, because he was just my hate personified by the sen'en rod's magic.

...Ryou, Bak, if either of you reads this, don't kill me. It's not my fault you compliment each other so perfectly! Nya!

~*~

Wow, long chappie. See? Not too bad? ^_^; Sorry about all the big words and stuff. I was in one of those moods. So many notes! Math does that to me O-o; Please R&R! ^_^;

Translation & Notes~

Daijobu desu~ Basically 'It's okay'. Desu is a word that gets put into a sentence to confirm a positive meaning, while daijobu is like 'it/you/I (am) okay'. Desu is parallel to janai/ja arimasen, which would be negative. Similarly, daijobu ka would be 'Are you okay?' (Ka being a spoken question mark).

Chichiue ~ non-formal way to say father. It's closer to "daddy", I think, than anything. That's what Malik calls his da' ^^

yama nashi, ochi nashi, imi nashi~ Yaoi. It's the acronym. It means 'no peak, no point, no meaning', in reference to, well...yeah. Gay mens. I think it applies only for original, short manga and doujinshi(fan comics), but I'm not entirely sure.

"Prologue to Forever" ~ My manga ^_^ If I'm lucky, the first installment will be published in TokyoPop's contest this year. But if I'm not, the manga may appear online ^^ It's pretty fluffy. Aida and Kagerou belong to me, though, and they're in the process of being copyrighted! So no touchie! XP

GHOULS ~ In the manga and anime, Malik's gang was the GHOULS, not Rare Hunters.

'Boy to woman' 'girl to man'~ In fifth grade, a friend of mine messed that up when we were having sex education. She said "Why are we watching 'Boy to Woman' 'Girl to Man'? They're exactly the same!', or something like that. It's always been a sort of joke between me and my friends from back then ^_^; (Never say fungus when your teacher means flanges!)

The grades thing~ In Japan, a fifth grader would be eleven years old, instead of in America, where a fifth grader is usually ten. They're a year ahead of us, basically. ^^

Coffee ~ Yes, I know he can't have it. You honestly think Malik listens to his doctor?

The Seto and Yami no Yuugi thing~ If we take it out of being a series, and had it in real life, they would supposedly be world famous rivals. And, seeing as fangirls are crazy like that, Malik would probably not be surprised if people tried to pair them up. After all, Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp have a following, and they're only in one movie together! (YEAH BABY XD)

Yami and omote thing ~ Out of curiousity, if they're supposed to be complete opposites, wouldn't one have to be straight and the other gay? XD I'm just saying!