Filch: (strokes Mrs Norris) ahh, nice cat wonderful cat... (Mrs Norris purrs)
Snape: Filch? What the hell? Nevermind, you have to help me, students are out of bed!
(Filch does not seem to hear him)
Snape: Filch? Hey? Planet earth to Filch!
(Filch just looks fixedly at Mrs Norris and pets her)
Snape: Damn, I knew Dumbledore would only hire nutters for this job - I mean, really, who would work for a guy with a last name like Dumbledore??? Hagrid, that big oaf, Filch here, obsessed with his cat, McGonagall has a sick fetish with cats, too. She changes into a cat so Filch "pets" her, errrgh! Flitwick is on drugs all day, as well as this Trelawney woman. And Sprout - I try to forget the day I entered the staff room and she was sitting on one of the couches with only her dragonhide gloves on....
(Flich still ignores Snape, who now sits on the ground. Mrs Norris seems to take pity and starts to lick Snapes palm)
Snape: Hey, go away you filthy little monster! Hey! Heyyy... that's not that bad....

.::..::..::.

Parvati and Lavender are gossiping, as usual.

"What? Filch has a fetish with cats?" Parvati gasped. Lavender shrugged.

"Everyone knows that. But the new thing is - Snape has a cat-fetish, too." Now Parvati looked downright offended. The greasy, hook-nosed potions master, Severus Snape, be-being with c-c - No, she couldn't say it. She couldn't even think about it. It was gross. Just gross.

They talked some more, sitting at a large table in the library. It was well beyond midnight, but they had some Divination stuff to look up. The gossip was mainly about some rumors that Colin finally took some photos of Harry undressed, but he wouldn't tell or show them.

"Blast, bet he turned gay after he saw those pictures," complained Lavender. She was always more fond of Harry than any other Gryffindor girl. She was even a little cross with Parvati, who once had a date with Harry. 'Only a stupid ball' Parvati would insist, but nonetheless Lavender was jealous.

"And did you hear that stuff about Flitwick? Sly little-*thud* What was that?" They turned their heads towards the sound, a soft bt audible creak. The door was open, but only ever so slightly.

"We should get outta here." said Parvati nervously. But Lavender only laughed.
"Ohh, Parvi-Tati! Believing in ghosties, hm? Wait - Ghosts are real. Again. Afraid of the Bloody Baron, hm? We stay here, it was probably Peeves destroying something useless again."
But Lavender was not convinced. She stayed, though.

A quick glance to the door, which stood ajar, still. She looked at Lavender again, seeing her mouth form words, but not really listening. Her fingers were moving uncontrollably, cold sweat pouring down her forehead. Yes indeed, she was afraid of the Bloody Baron, but Parvati had the strange feeling that it was something else, something more horrible than she ever saw or met before. Lavender was giggling now, but what about Parvati did not know. Probably about some girl stuff. But girl stuff, although Parvati's favourite hobby, was not distracting her, she was fully aware of her surroundings, and now that she kept close attention to the door and the rest of the library, she heard noises she never ever noticed before - the unfrequently scratching of Lavenders quill, the soft dipping into the ink pot. the ruffling of something behind a bookwall, the creaking behind the librarian's door. She was frightened beyond imagination.

"Parvati? Parvati?! You look odd, is everything okay?" Lavender put her hand over Parvati's left, trying to calm her twitching friend. But Parvati was twitching even heavier, small moans coming out of her mouth.

"Ohhh, ohhh. Mrs-Norrris, that---that, OHHHH-"

*'*'""""'*'*

(The Staffroom. Minvera McGonagall chats with Severus Snape. well, they are fighting, to be honest.)

Snape: That is ridiculous, Minerva! Honestly, the Gryffindor Quidditch Team won't win this time, and there's a simple reason for that - These Weasley twins are not on the team anymore, and our team has new brooms! Firebolts!
McGonagall: New Brooms won't make a bad player good. We have an excellent team, we have Potter, and we have Weasl-
Snape: Weasley! You think WEASLEY is winning the cup for you this time? YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT, really hilarious, THAT (laughs his head off)
McGonagall: Argh! You-You (changes into cat and starts to lick Severus Snape's hand)
Snape: HaaHa-HAA. Hooo Huuu. Unfaaaiiiiirrr.... hooooo...

Be sure to check in frequently! The Lick's my favourite! Not that I'd enjoy be licked by Mrs Norris, Yuck!