Disclaimer: We own nothing! NOTHING! This song is a parody, so it is
obviously RIPPED OFF! This one is rip off of Muppet Treasure Island (Matrix
and Muppet songs? *gasp*), and we don't own anything of the Matrix
characters either. Although I do wish that I owned Agent Smith.;)
Author's Note: Hello all! This is my first Matrix fic ever, and guess what? It's a song parody! Yay! This is a parody of the song "Professional Pirate" from Muppet Treasure Island. Neo is still unsure of joining forces with the Nebuchanezzer crew, so they have their own little musical number to help convince him! My sister, shadowheartqueen, co-wrote this, so read her work! She's good at song parodies! Yes, I know we're weird. This is what happens when you're really bored riding on a bus. So don't go off and yell 'THE MATRIX AND MUPPET SONGS USED TOGETHER ARE A CRIME AGAINST NATURE!', because such flames will be used to heat my house.
On we go!
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*Scene starts where Morpheus offers the red and blue pills*
Morpheus: You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed, and believe
whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in
Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Neo: *several minutes of careful deliberation* I don't know.if I take the red pill, I'll
never have tacos again. But if I take the blue pill, I'll never learn
the truth. What should I do?
Apoc: Just pick a damn pill already!
Trinity: *Whispering to others* What should we do to convince him?
Mouse: I know! We'll sing a musical number! And Morpheus gets to sing it!
Morpheus: Wait, no! *author starts up the music. Morpheus sighs* Oh, all right.*he
starts singing* When I was just a lad, looking for my true vocation
The first One said, "now son, this choice deserves deliberation
Though you could be a doctor or perhaps a financier
My boy why not consider a more challenging career?"
Nebuchanezzer crew: Hey, ho ho
You'll end a war of wars
And you'll keep your mind and body sound
By working out of doors
Morpheus: True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without
Crew: And when you're a professional hacker,
Mouse: That's what the job's about!
*Outside, Agent Smith is standing on the sidewalk, looking at a lighted window. The singing of the Nubuchanezzer crew is emanating from it*
Agent Smith: *confused* What the hell are they doing? *Goes to investigate*
*Back with the good (but insane) guys*
Morpheus: Now take me for example, the Agents all despise me
But to Zion, I'm a hero and they idolize me
It's how you look at hackers that makes us bad or good
And I see us as members of a noble siblinghood!
*Agent Smith is sneaking through the halls, intent on capturing them*
Crew: Hey, ho ho
We're honorable men
And before we lose our tempers we will always count to ten
Morpheus: On occasion there's a traitor that you'll have to execute *points at Cypher*
Cypher: *not singing* How did you KNOW????
Crew: But when you're a professional hacker
*Agent Smith bursts through the door*
Trinity: *Grabs Agent Smith by the ear, points at him, and smiles* You don't have to
wear a suit! *Tosses him out a window*
Crew: O_O
Trinity: What?
Switch: I could have been a surgeon
I like taking things apart!
Trinity: I could have been a lawyer
But I just had to much heart *smiles at Neo* ;)
Mouse: I could have been in politics
Cause I've always been a big spender
Apoc: And me.*flexes muscles* I could have been a contender
Morpheus: Some say that hackers steal and should be feared and hated
I say we're victims of bad press it's all exaggerated
We'd never stab you in the back (except for Cypher), we'd never lie or cheat
We're just about the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet!
*starts talking* Tell the truth, Neo. Do you think the Matrix will ever show you the truth? We shed our blood so that someday people will be aware of what the Matrix really is. Join us, Neo! Become the One and end the war!
Crew: Hey, ho ho
It's one for all for one
And we'll share and share alike with you and love you like a son
We're people of good virtue and that's that what we're proud to be
And when you're a professional hacker
Morpheus: You'll be honest, brave, and free
The soul of decency
You'll be loyal and fair and on the square and most importantly
Crew: When you're a professional hacker
You're always in the best of company!
*Music ends*
Morpheus: *relieved* Mouse?
Mouse: Yes, sir?
Morpheus: *angry* Don't EVER make a suggestion like that again!
Mouse: O_O Yes sir!
*They all go back to their original positions, and pretend like the song never happened. Neo reaches toward the red pill, like in the movie*
Morpheus: Remember, all I'm offering you is the truth, nothing more.
*Neo takes the red pill and swallows it. Suddenly Agent Smith bursts through the door again, in a very angry mood*
Agent Smith: *seething mad* NOBODY THROWS ME OUT OF A WINDOW!!!!!!!
Crew and Neo: Ahhhhh!
*end scene*
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Well, that's it! It didn't make much sense, but who cares? It's comedy! I had a blast writing this and hope you enjoyed it. Reviews much appreciated. See ya!
Author's Note: Hello all! This is my first Matrix fic ever, and guess what? It's a song parody! Yay! This is a parody of the song "Professional Pirate" from Muppet Treasure Island. Neo is still unsure of joining forces with the Nebuchanezzer crew, so they have their own little musical number to help convince him! My sister, shadowheartqueen, co-wrote this, so read her work! She's good at song parodies! Yes, I know we're weird. This is what happens when you're really bored riding on a bus. So don't go off and yell 'THE MATRIX AND MUPPET SONGS USED TOGETHER ARE A CRIME AGAINST NATURE!', because such flames will be used to heat my house.
On we go!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
*Scene starts where Morpheus offers the red and blue pills*
Morpheus: You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed, and believe
whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in
Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Neo: *several minutes of careful deliberation* I don't know.if I take the red pill, I'll
never have tacos again. But if I take the blue pill, I'll never learn
the truth. What should I do?
Apoc: Just pick a damn pill already!
Trinity: *Whispering to others* What should we do to convince him?
Mouse: I know! We'll sing a musical number! And Morpheus gets to sing it!
Morpheus: Wait, no! *author starts up the music. Morpheus sighs* Oh, all right.*he
starts singing* When I was just a lad, looking for my true vocation
The first One said, "now son, this choice deserves deliberation
Though you could be a doctor or perhaps a financier
My boy why not consider a more challenging career?"
Nebuchanezzer crew: Hey, ho ho
You'll end a war of wars
And you'll keep your mind and body sound
By working out of doors
Morpheus: True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without
Crew: And when you're a professional hacker,
Mouse: That's what the job's about!
*Outside, Agent Smith is standing on the sidewalk, looking at a lighted window. The singing of the Nubuchanezzer crew is emanating from it*
Agent Smith: *confused* What the hell are they doing? *Goes to investigate*
*Back with the good (but insane) guys*
Morpheus: Now take me for example, the Agents all despise me
But to Zion, I'm a hero and they idolize me
It's how you look at hackers that makes us bad or good
And I see us as members of a noble siblinghood!
*Agent Smith is sneaking through the halls, intent on capturing them*
Crew: Hey, ho ho
We're honorable men
And before we lose our tempers we will always count to ten
Morpheus: On occasion there's a traitor that you'll have to execute *points at Cypher*
Cypher: *not singing* How did you KNOW????
Crew: But when you're a professional hacker
*Agent Smith bursts through the door*
Trinity: *Grabs Agent Smith by the ear, points at him, and smiles* You don't have to
wear a suit! *Tosses him out a window*
Crew: O_O
Trinity: What?
Switch: I could have been a surgeon
I like taking things apart!
Trinity: I could have been a lawyer
But I just had to much heart *smiles at Neo* ;)
Mouse: I could have been in politics
Cause I've always been a big spender
Apoc: And me.*flexes muscles* I could have been a contender
Morpheus: Some say that hackers steal and should be feared and hated
I say we're victims of bad press it's all exaggerated
We'd never stab you in the back (except for Cypher), we'd never lie or cheat
We're just about the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet!
*starts talking* Tell the truth, Neo. Do you think the Matrix will ever show you the truth? We shed our blood so that someday people will be aware of what the Matrix really is. Join us, Neo! Become the One and end the war!
Crew: Hey, ho ho
It's one for all for one
And we'll share and share alike with you and love you like a son
We're people of good virtue and that's that what we're proud to be
And when you're a professional hacker
Morpheus: You'll be honest, brave, and free
The soul of decency
You'll be loyal and fair and on the square and most importantly
Crew: When you're a professional hacker
You're always in the best of company!
*Music ends*
Morpheus: *relieved* Mouse?
Mouse: Yes, sir?
Morpheus: *angry* Don't EVER make a suggestion like that again!
Mouse: O_O Yes sir!
*They all go back to their original positions, and pretend like the song never happened. Neo reaches toward the red pill, like in the movie*
Morpheus: Remember, all I'm offering you is the truth, nothing more.
*Neo takes the red pill and swallows it. Suddenly Agent Smith bursts through the door again, in a very angry mood*
Agent Smith: *seething mad* NOBODY THROWS ME OUT OF A WINDOW!!!!!!!
Crew and Neo: Ahhhhh!
*end scene*
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
Well, that's it! It didn't make much sense, but who cares? It's comedy! I had a blast writing this and hope you enjoyed it. Reviews much appreciated. See ya!