Penitent: InuYasha Fanfic Volume 1
Chapter 2
Sesshomaru sniffed the air as he walked along the dew-soaked grass. Rin and Jakken had insisted on staying behind at their newly-acquired small hut to sleep in, so he was free to move around wherever he pleased. But something had bothered him about the air. He sniffed again, sure there was an unusual whiff he couldn't place. He was probably too far. He plodded on at a swift place, following the scent instinctively.
...
"Kagome?" Inu-Yasha called. Dammit, where is she? He plowed ahead of Miroku and Sango, who were searching for Kagome with him.
Sango muttered to herself until Moriku put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Ayame-chan will be fine. She's with Shippo, so she'll be fine." Sango nodded and smiled, taking comfort in Miroku's reassurance.
Inu-Yasha yelled back at them, "Will you two stop flirting?! We need to find Kagome!" He angrily swiped a few branches in his way. Somehow, he knew he was just replacing worry with anger and annoyance. But he didn't care. As long as he knew whether Kagome was safe or not... that was what counted most. Everything else dropped below that priority.
...
Sesshomaru stepped into a clearing. He didn't need to sniff anymore; the origin of the scent was right in front of him. Why hadn't he recognized it? Blood was supposed to be his element, the liquid he swam in, the stuff he bathed himself with. Yet... it was true he had been slacking. No one to fight that was worth fighting, or killing. In any case, here was the real smell to back up the memory. He stepped nearer to a body lying in the grass, covered in blood. Strange... the blood somehow didn't smell real. More earth than anything else. He quietly stooped and moved the hair of the figure on the ground away from her face.
"What?" he whispered to himself. "What are you doing here? Without Inu-Yasha... and covered in someone else's blood? ...Kagome?" He smiled to himself. Here was opportunity staring him straight in the face, and she was weak, he could tell. To add to that, Inu-Yasha needed to be taught once again how much better his brother was over him. Still smiling softly, he picked up Kagome, who was still sleeping, his nose automatically being drawn to her neck, where she had some of her own blood. He breathed deeply, bringing his face as close as he dared to her neck, and still she did not stir. He shifted her weight around until it was comfortable in his arms, and started to walk back to the hut.
...
Inu-Yasha's nose was worn. It picked up a million different scents, and still no Kagome. Had he gone the wrong way? He entered a clearing just as he had given up, but immediately caught a whiff of blood - Kagome's and Kikyo's. There was no mistake. He frantically glanced about, but saw no one. He smelled another all-too-familiar scent as well. So she had gone with Sesshomaru... it seems she had gone willingly. He couldn't find any evidence of a struggle. If she was unconscious, all she'd have to do when she woke up was to get up and leave him. Inu-Yasha would know by then whether she went willingly or not. His blood started to boil at the thought that she had left him for Sesshomaru. Jealousy had taken root quickly, and to mask it, annoyance.
"Let's go back," he yelled to Sango and Miroku, who were combing the area he had left. "I think I know what happened. We don't need to look for her. And... I think she'll be fine with him."
"With who? Who is Lady Kagome with?" Miroku asked. Somehow he knew it would be bad for his health, but he plunged on after Inu-Yasha anyway, who was taking large strides back in the direction of Kaede's hut.
"Sesshomaru," Inu-Yasha replied though tightly-grit teeth.
"Your brother? What would she be doing with him?" Sango said, surprise showing in every syllable.
"How the hell should I know?! Feh. If she wants to be with him, that's fine with me. I can't understand why, though. But I know by now I can't force her to do anything, and it looks like she went with him willingly. I can't force her to come back; you know how she has a mind of her own." Inu-Yasha swiped a branch out of his way, effectively breaking it in half and leaving the broken piece on the ground by the tree it came from.
"You're taking this more calmly and logically than I thought you would have," Miroku commented. "Perhaps it is because this time, you killed someone who truly mattered, right in front of Lady Kagome..."
"I don't need to be reminded of that!" Inu-Yasha rounded on him, his fierce eyes boring into Miroku's calm ones.
"And it looks as if you feel guilt towards having Kagome see what you did," Sango said, calmly staring at Inu-Yasha. "I'm sorry, but you need to hear this. We need to understand why Kagome has left us for Sesshomaru. Also, recall that she started to blame herself for the entire incident right before she ran away. She may be feeling guilt as well, though not the same as yours."
Inu-Yasha's eyes anxiously switched to Miroku when he started to talk.
"Yes," Miroku continued. "Her guilt may come from being the cause of the whole incident; for her protection. Your guilt is having to have her see what you did, within two feet of her. You don't want to cause her any pain, as you see that you have."
"I-I don't have to be analyzed to my face!" Inu-Yasha, red with anger and embarassment turned around quickly and half-ran the rest of the way towards Kaede's hut. But he knew Sango and Miroku were right. Kagome was in pain, because she thought she was the cause of the entire incident. He was in pain because he had put her through blood and gore. And he knew he had to leave her alone, and both of them should sort things out separately.
He stopped walking quickly at the base of the tree by the hut, and pounded his fists into the trunk, creating two large gaping holes. He missed her. He wanted to comfort her and tell her everything would be all right. She had done so much for him, changed him so much. Fifty years ago, in the same situation, he would have strode to where Sesshomaru and Kagome were and taken her by force. She had shown him that there were less violent ways - and sometimes they were better. And now, he couldn't do anything for her. He was the cause of her pain. His gaze dropped to Kagome's blood on his sleeve. She had pushed him away... he knew she needed time alone. But he wanted to hold her... He didn't let the whole argument with himself manifest itself once more in his mind. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He would never show his feelings. How weak he would look! He glanced up as he saw Miroku and Sango coming towards him from the forest, and Shippo and Ayame coming out to greet them.
Chapter 2
Sesshomaru sniffed the air as he walked along the dew-soaked grass. Rin and Jakken had insisted on staying behind at their newly-acquired small hut to sleep in, so he was free to move around wherever he pleased. But something had bothered him about the air. He sniffed again, sure there was an unusual whiff he couldn't place. He was probably too far. He plodded on at a swift place, following the scent instinctively.
...
"Kagome?" Inu-Yasha called. Dammit, where is she? He plowed ahead of Miroku and Sango, who were searching for Kagome with him.
Sango muttered to herself until Moriku put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Ayame-chan will be fine. She's with Shippo, so she'll be fine." Sango nodded and smiled, taking comfort in Miroku's reassurance.
Inu-Yasha yelled back at them, "Will you two stop flirting?! We need to find Kagome!" He angrily swiped a few branches in his way. Somehow, he knew he was just replacing worry with anger and annoyance. But he didn't care. As long as he knew whether Kagome was safe or not... that was what counted most. Everything else dropped below that priority.
...
Sesshomaru stepped into a clearing. He didn't need to sniff anymore; the origin of the scent was right in front of him. Why hadn't he recognized it? Blood was supposed to be his element, the liquid he swam in, the stuff he bathed himself with. Yet... it was true he had been slacking. No one to fight that was worth fighting, or killing. In any case, here was the real smell to back up the memory. He stepped nearer to a body lying in the grass, covered in blood. Strange... the blood somehow didn't smell real. More earth than anything else. He quietly stooped and moved the hair of the figure on the ground away from her face.
"What?" he whispered to himself. "What are you doing here? Without Inu-Yasha... and covered in someone else's blood? ...Kagome?" He smiled to himself. Here was opportunity staring him straight in the face, and she was weak, he could tell. To add to that, Inu-Yasha needed to be taught once again how much better his brother was over him. Still smiling softly, he picked up Kagome, who was still sleeping, his nose automatically being drawn to her neck, where she had some of her own blood. He breathed deeply, bringing his face as close as he dared to her neck, and still she did not stir. He shifted her weight around until it was comfortable in his arms, and started to walk back to the hut.
...
Inu-Yasha's nose was worn. It picked up a million different scents, and still no Kagome. Had he gone the wrong way? He entered a clearing just as he had given up, but immediately caught a whiff of blood - Kagome's and Kikyo's. There was no mistake. He frantically glanced about, but saw no one. He smelled another all-too-familiar scent as well. So she had gone with Sesshomaru... it seems she had gone willingly. He couldn't find any evidence of a struggle. If she was unconscious, all she'd have to do when she woke up was to get up and leave him. Inu-Yasha would know by then whether she went willingly or not. His blood started to boil at the thought that she had left him for Sesshomaru. Jealousy had taken root quickly, and to mask it, annoyance.
"Let's go back," he yelled to Sango and Miroku, who were combing the area he had left. "I think I know what happened. We don't need to look for her. And... I think she'll be fine with him."
"With who? Who is Lady Kagome with?" Miroku asked. Somehow he knew it would be bad for his health, but he plunged on after Inu-Yasha anyway, who was taking large strides back in the direction of Kaede's hut.
"Sesshomaru," Inu-Yasha replied though tightly-grit teeth.
"Your brother? What would she be doing with him?" Sango said, surprise showing in every syllable.
"How the hell should I know?! Feh. If she wants to be with him, that's fine with me. I can't understand why, though. But I know by now I can't force her to do anything, and it looks like she went with him willingly. I can't force her to come back; you know how she has a mind of her own." Inu-Yasha swiped a branch out of his way, effectively breaking it in half and leaving the broken piece on the ground by the tree it came from.
"You're taking this more calmly and logically than I thought you would have," Miroku commented. "Perhaps it is because this time, you killed someone who truly mattered, right in front of Lady Kagome..."
"I don't need to be reminded of that!" Inu-Yasha rounded on him, his fierce eyes boring into Miroku's calm ones.
"And it looks as if you feel guilt towards having Kagome see what you did," Sango said, calmly staring at Inu-Yasha. "I'm sorry, but you need to hear this. We need to understand why Kagome has left us for Sesshomaru. Also, recall that she started to blame herself for the entire incident right before she ran away. She may be feeling guilt as well, though not the same as yours."
Inu-Yasha's eyes anxiously switched to Miroku when he started to talk.
"Yes," Miroku continued. "Her guilt may come from being the cause of the whole incident; for her protection. Your guilt is having to have her see what you did, within two feet of her. You don't want to cause her any pain, as you see that you have."
"I-I don't have to be analyzed to my face!" Inu-Yasha, red with anger and embarassment turned around quickly and half-ran the rest of the way towards Kaede's hut. But he knew Sango and Miroku were right. Kagome was in pain, because she thought she was the cause of the entire incident. He was in pain because he had put her through blood and gore. And he knew he had to leave her alone, and both of them should sort things out separately.
He stopped walking quickly at the base of the tree by the hut, and pounded his fists into the trunk, creating two large gaping holes. He missed her. He wanted to comfort her and tell her everything would be all right. She had done so much for him, changed him so much. Fifty years ago, in the same situation, he would have strode to where Sesshomaru and Kagome were and taken her by force. She had shown him that there were less violent ways - and sometimes they were better. And now, he couldn't do anything for her. He was the cause of her pain. His gaze dropped to Kagome's blood on his sleeve. She had pushed him away... he knew she needed time alone. But he wanted to hold her... He didn't let the whole argument with himself manifest itself once more in his mind. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He would never show his feelings. How weak he would look! He glanced up as he saw Miroku and Sango coming towards him from the forest, and Shippo and Ayame coming out to greet them.