Rating: PG 13 for mid use of language.
Author's Note: I own nothing, only the thoughts in my head. Please don't sue me I'm a poor
teacher…I teach Math at a Catholic High School. I make NOTHING; really, I get to default on my
school loans because I make so little. Also the song "Here Without You" is by Three Doors Down...its
offset by asterisks (*) I can't get italics to copy right. Yes I'm continuing with the song-fic thing.
These songs just remind me of Tommy and Kim and we will eventually see the break up and them put
back together. I promise. It will take a while so be patient, I rarely get free time w/my busy teaching
schedule. Enjoy and read and review.
Time line: Kat is the Pink Ranger. They still have their old powers, before Zeo. Kim has not yet
broken up with Tommy. This is Tommy's point of view and his thoughts on Kim being so far away.
On with the story:
Here Without You:
It was a warm day, a beautiful day, and one that I would have loved to take Kim out for a date on. But
she's in Florida and I'm here in Angel Grove. Zedd attacked again so that gave me something else to
think about, I guess. It seems I've spent a lot of time thinking about Kim. How long has she been gone
for? It seems like forever, but it's only been a little over three months.
**A hundred days had made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face**
Everyone seems to be functioning just fine with Kim being gone. I am the only one who can't seem to move on. Well it's not really moving on; we are still together, as hard as that is. Between her gymnastics schedule and my "extra-curricular" activities we talk maybe twice a week, for maybe thirty minutes total. But we're going to make this work; I love her too much to give up on this.
There was a trip offered through school to go see Les Miserables, and since Vanessa LOVES musicals, I took her. I should have taken Kim, but I can't do that can I? All those bright stage lights, Vanessa just ate it up. I love my sister dearly but honestly how could I enjoy that THAT musical? How could anyone? It's so sad. Not to mention it had me thinking more about Kim, especially when Eponine sang "On My Own." She just had to have a voice that reminded me of Kim's and had to sing a love song, well I guess you could call it that. I was so moody and brooding when the play was over. Vanessa said I should cheer up that our relationship would last. Well I'm sorry Vanessa, I really am, I just guess I don't see the cheery side of this.
**A thousand lights had made me colder and I don't think I can look at this the same**
Since I was sweet or should I say dumb enough to buy Vanessa the soundtrack, it's all I hear. Man, why me. Although hearing "On My Own" a million times in one day did get me to thinking. If Eponine could love Marius when she was on her own, why couldn't it be the same for us? Why can't I close my eyes and feel her right beside me, see her face whenever I want too? I mean I do it already anyways when I dream, why can't I lose myself to daydreams? Because I'm not a sissy girl, I am the leader of the Power Rangers and it's just not something I, or any guy does. I will not daydream. But I will see Kim tonight in my dreams. Dreams are all I have now anyways… Dreams and memories.
** But all the miles had separated
They disappeared now when I'm dreaming of your face
I'm here without you baby but you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby but you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me**
I wonder how much Kim thinks about me during the day. I bet she doesn't give me much more than a passing thought most of the time. When would she have the time? She's in practice from dawn until dusk, and they are trying to fit school in with private tutors. Yeah right, like Kim has the time to think about me as much as I think about her. On the plus side, she doesn't have the time to find someone else either. Ok where the hell did that come from? Kim is not going to find someone else. She is not going to find someone else, yeah you just keep telling yourself that Tom. Make yourself believe it. She's miles and miles away and there are so many new people for her to meet, to say hello to. It all starts with a simple "Hello." Isn't that how you two started?
**The miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say hello**
Now you're making it worse. Concentrate on finishing school. Figure out what you're going to do for the rest of your life. Oh yeah and save the world from time to time. Time to time, HA, more like every f***ing day.
**I've heard this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go**
Now I'm getting cynical again. I'm moody too. See what happens when Kim's not here to pull me out of my funk? But it will be ok, we get to talk tonight, or so I hope. It's been about three days. I can't remember anything, but I can remember when the last time I talked to Kim was. You know why I can remember? It's because she is ALL I ever think about. I'm so lonely without her, I miss her so much, and most days I can't wait until I get to go to bed so I can see her face again.
**I'm here without you baby but you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby but you're still with me in my dreams**
Let's see, it's about 8pm in Florida, it should be safe to call Kim. She should be done with her practice and done with her tutors. If she's studying she will tell me, maybe she'll even take a break again. Tonight it's my turn to call, so at least I don't have to wait by the phone. Yes I wait by the phone like some silly teenage girl waiting for her crush to call her. But I am not a silly teenage girl, I am a lovesick teenage guy whose true love is on the other side of the country pursuing her dream because I wouldn't tell her to stay.
Briiiing Briiiiing
"Hello" a cheery voice answers the phone.
"Hey
Kim…"
"Tommy I am so glad you called. I've been missing you like crazy. We had the day off today and I met up with Kirk and Steph. We did all sorts of things… I'm so tired… I was so hoping you'd call tonight. I have free time, I'm all caught up with my studies and I could spend hours on the phone with you…" Kim's voice rambled on and on.
**And tonight girl it's only you and me**
"Yeah, I had a busy day too. It was a hard day's work." Tommy told her in their code. They never talked out right about Ranger business, you never knew who would listen in on a phone call.
"Tommy it's so hard out here..." Kim's voice caught on a sob, her voice raw with emotions.
"What's so hard baby? Practices running you ragged again?" How he wished it were merely practices and not something else, something with them.
"Yeah, practices and school…" she paused, "and a little of us mixed in. It's just we never talk and when we do one of us is so tired we barely stay on the phone for long. It's great on the long distance bills, but…well I just feel that we are slipping away from each other." Tommy could hear her crying into the phone.
"Shhhh Beautiful, it's going to be ok. I know this is hard. God I know how hard this is on you, on me and on us. But I promise I LOVE YOU. I am not going anywhere. If I could get Zordon to bend I'd come down and visit you. I can't afford a plane ticket right now. I'm sorry baby. I love you so much. I would do anything to see your pretty face, to hold you in my arms and to make it easier if only for an hour."
"Tommy, are you crying too?" She knows me so well. She can probably hear it in my voice. Glad I'm secure enough in our relationship, and my masculinity, to not let it bother me. Kim's seen my cry on a few occasions; it's no different now.
"Yeah. I can't let you cry alone. Tell you what, I'll wipe away my tears and pretend their yours and you can wipe away your tears and pretend its me doing it." God I wish I were there to hold her and tell her it would be ok, that we'll be ok. We will make it through this; I just know it.
**Everything I know, and anywhere I go it gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done it gets hard but it won't take away my love**
"I love you Tommy. I don't think I could ever stop loving you."
"Good, because I know I can't stop loving you. So tell me more about your day with Kirk and Steph."
"We went shopping at the mall. Kirk grumbled and complained. They remind me of you and Vanessa, except Kirk wouldn't go into Vicky's with us," Kim all but laughed out.
"So you see anything good at Vicky's? Vanessa hasn't asked me to go to the mall in awhile, so I haven't been since…well since you were here. I don't even know what the selection is like anymore." Tommy's voice was whisper-like thinking about Kim again.
** I'm here without you baby but you're still on my lonely mind**
"You know you'll never see me in anything from Vicky's, RIGHT??" Kim tried to tease, to raise his spirits, his mood. "But I bet you dream about it all the time, don't you?"
"I dream about you all the time, your clothing isn't important, nor is what you have on underneath." He was still way to serious and thoughtful.
**I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time**
"Tommy it's going to be ok. I love you; I'm not going anywhere. You're not going anywhere. I'm not even worried about Kat." Ok Kim that was a random thought, where did that come from? Did I do something to make you worry about Kat and me? Must reassure Kim… " Kirk seems to think I should be. I told him all about the new girl, just to make conversation, we were talking about Australia. He seems to think you prefer them tall and blonde, but I know better, don't I. I have your heart." Even Kim's bubbly tone had gone remorse.
"And I have yours," he said now with a smile.
"Keep it safe for me until I return. I'm coming home for Christmas. How far away is that? I'll be home for like 5 days. My dad is coming down to see me. I am going to stay with 'Sha and I want to see you as much as I can." Glad to hear she's coming home, and she's glad too. I love that cheery tone in her voice.
"Christmas isn't that far. I can make it till then. I'll make sure I have nothing to do, job not included."
"Of course, besides the job, you're mine."
"Only if you're mine" God, I love it when we tease like this. It reminds me of when she was here, right besides me. If I try hard enough I can pretend she's only a few blocks away, not a thousand plus miles. Man I miss her.
"I am." She was serious again, "Tommy I got a question… How do you handle it? Not being able to see me that is."
"I keep a picture of you in my wallet, one in my locker, one on my dresser and one in my dreams. I love you Beautiful." Ok so maybe its more then one. My locker is a shrine to my girlfriend. I have about seven pictures of us in my wallet, and I'm considering taking up daydreaming about you. How about that?
"I love you too, Handsome. Tonight it's just us, in our dreams. Where do you want to go?"
"Anywhere as long as it's with you."
"Sounds good."
There was a short pause. God I hate to do this to her, to us, but if I don't get off the phone soon I won't be able to call her for a while. Mom and dad are making me pay for the long distance calls and they know I don't have a job…GRRRRRRRR Stupid Power Rangers, and Stupid Lord Zedd. I can't even get a job to pay for a plane ticket or a decent phone conversation.
"Kim, I really hate to do this, but it's getting to be a long conversation…"
"And it's getting expensive." She can still finish my sentences. "I know, good night sweetheart, sweet dreams."
"They always are when they are of you… and they are always of you. I love you."
"Love you too." Yeah I letter have the last word; otherwise we'll never get off the phone. I hate saying goodbye and Kim knows it, she never says goodbye, only I love you.
CLICK
God I love hearing her say that. Of course I hate the dial tone. Well its still pretty early, and a nice night. I could go do something. Nah, I'll just lay here a while and think about Kim. Now I have her voice to go on for a while. I'll just replay the phone conversation. The good parts that is. Mmmmm Vicky's. Must get Kim a Christmas present from there. Maybe, just maybe she will model it for me. I promise I'll be a gentleman about it.
At some point his mind stopped thinking about Kim for only a second and the sleep fairies were able to slip in and take him to his Kimberly, if only in his dreams.
**I'm here without you baby but you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me**