Penitent: InuYasha Fanfic Volume 1
Chapter 10
Before she even leaped out of the well, a purple haze met her inside it and seeped into her chest. Kagome gasped a little in surprise. Something was happening. She climbed otu of the well quickly. Just as her feet touched the ground, she fell to her knees, enveloped in more of the haze. She felt tired... mortally tired. Physciallly tired. Even emotionally tired. How could she feel this way all of a sudden? The haze wrapped around her firmly, and it continued to seep into her chest. Her eyes closed and she opened herself to it, embracing it with her mind. Somehow, she felt whole... more so than before. What had she missed? What was this thing?
The haze willed her to open her eyes. She obeyed, and following its commands, stood up and began to walk towards the waterfall.
...
Inu-Yasha watched at Kikyou slowly committed suicide. Her soul gatherers were long gone. He had never even seen them but he knew they were.
Kikyou was kneeling with her head bowed, her hands clasped together as if she was praying. She had released all of the souls that had kept her alive all this time. Now she was releasing her essence. Her eyes were closed, watching her previous life flash before her eyes. She smiled a little, sadly. She would miss times of joy and pain. At least she had felt them. Better to have lived and now to die. That way, one can truly know that life is precious. She opened her eyes and gazed at Inu-Yasha, who was watching her with interest.
She shook her head. He didn't know. He would find out soon enough.
She was here. She could feel her. The tugging of the soul... it didn't want to have to cross the time barrier. It wanted her to come. So she came. It was her soul after all. Kagome's time was now. Kikyou's was past.
...
Kagome climbed the rocks automatically, not noticing the sharp rock fragments bite into her hands. The purple haze tried to lift her unsuccessfully. She smiled. She was too heavy. In any case, she was going up, at least. What was up there? Anything familiar? She remembered how she had tried to kill herself on this waterfall. That was fruitless as well. Maybe the purple haze was telling her to die. She would do so. The haze was making her so tired, she wanted to go to sleep. Rest was all she needed. Then...who knows? Whatever comes after.
She blinked several times, pausing on the rock formation. She couldn't die. Not now. She was just starting to put her life together. Not now, not like this. She climbed steadily at the haze's insistence, finally arriving at the top. There, she fell to her knees and closed her eyes immediately. The haze almost seemed to bowl her over as it rushed into her chest. She felt her back started to fall back down the side when a pair of strong hands caught her.
He had been so surprised that she was here. Why was she? Was it something she had forgotten? What was that cloud that hung over her? He looked back at Kikyou, noticing the same cloud... but it was rushing from Kikyou... into Kagome. What did this mean?
Suddenly, it hit him, hard. Kikyou's soul and Kagome's were the same. Kagome was only taking it back from Kikyou. He remembered how Kikyou was resurrected so long ago... how Kagome was almost an empty shell because her soul had gone to Kikyou's body. But she had reclaimed most of it... she was more than an empty shell. She was Kagome.
He then noticed her falling back and quickly ran ver to lift her up. The cloud was cold. It brushed his cheeks, and Inu-Yasha thought he felt icy fingers caressing his nose and his hair. The same feeling met his lips, and he turned away quickly, pressing his lips together for warmth. He thought he heard a soft laugh before it was gone again.
And then everything went still.
The ice was gone.
The wind was gone.
Kikyou's body was gone.
A small pile of earth and bones was in the spot her body had occupied.
Kagome was in his arms.
She was so beautiful, so peaceful. She was back where she belonged. He gingerly touched her face, brushing away her bangs. He brought her away from the edge and set her in his lap, putting her head on his shoulder. His hands gently stroked her hair, brushing it and caressing it. His eyes searched her for injuries, noticing her hands. Her palms were a bit bloody, so he picked them up and started to lick away the red liquid.
A slight pressure against her hands made Kagome stir. She felt a strong, soft, warm... something... by her, and she snuggled into it instinctively. Must be her pillow...
Inu-Yasha only welcomed her in, blushing a little. He looked around, raising his ears so that he made sure no one was watching. Satisfied that there was no one, he scooped up some water from the rushing fall (they were near the edge of it), and cleaned Kagome's hands.
Kagome felt something press into her hands and recognized it as another hand. She entwined her fingers around the other hand's fingers and went back to sleep.
Inu-Yasha's blush deepened. Was Kagome awake? He peered at her face. No... he was fairly sure she wasn't. So what was happening? She was the only sleeping person he had ever known who did these kinds of things. He stared at her sleeping against his shoulder and almost smiled. She was here again... in his arms... like he had dreamed for three days. Maybe her absence had been worth it... if only to feel this satisfied and content. He made sure no one was around again before he kissed her lightly, making sure not to wake her. Then he carried her back to Kaede's hut.
...
Inu-Yasha laid Kagome on the bed, trying in vain to get her arms off him. ON the way over, she had clamped her arms around his neck a bit tightly, almost choking him. Now he really was choking. He tried to pull away... there. Her arms had loosened. He had never known someone so strong when he or she slept. He tried to pull away a little more....
But Kagome suddenly pulled his neck down violently, making him fall into the bed beside her. His face burned, and he was thankful no one would see him. It was night, every one was sleeping quietly. He had taken his time, trying to avoid waking her. Even though he crashed into a few trees, tripped and almost fell, and then cursed himself loudly for it, she never woke.
Inu-Yasha repoisitoned himself, finding he couldn't scramble out of her hold.
"Kuso, wench," he whispered. But his heart wasn't in it. He looked at her gently and found at least 5 inches of space between them. That was enough. He placed a hand over hers, which was on his cheek, and stared at her until he fell asleep.
...
Kagome stirred. There was something soft under her... a matress. A blanket was over her body as she stretched lazily. She smiled as she realized the sunlight was pouring in through a window. It was warm, fuzzy... she snuggled backwards into a strong form behind her.
A strong form?! She turned around quickly to find a sleeping Inu-Yasha beside her. Not that she was complaining. He had been beside her the entire night? How did she even get to where she was...? She looked around the room, finding it to be familiarly in Kaede's house. Then she started to remember what had happened. The pull, the purple haze, the strong arms. That must have been Inu-Yasha. But what had happened. She stared at Inu-Yasha in confusion when she suddenly realized that she had no right to be here. No right at all. Yet... she touched Inu-Yasha's face gently, and was slightly amused when his face turned to her hand. She heard him sigh in satisfaction before his breathing came slowly and deeply.
She loved him with all her heart. It hurt how much she loved him. But could she keep putting him in danger? It wasn't right. She shouldn't. She couldn't. So she carefully got off the bed and ran a hand thorugh her tousled hair. She quietly put her shoes back on, which were in the corner of the room, but the door. She turned the handle and was about to step outside.
"Where do you think you're going?"
She froze and turned around. Inu-Yasha was sitting up in bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and then staring at her fixedly. "Back home. Where I belong."
"You don't belong there."
"Says who?" Her voice was cold and clipped. She had to end it here, right now, so that it wouldn't hurt so much.
"Says me."
"Che. Then tell me where I belong. On second thought, don't. I don't need to listen to you."
"But I'm going to tell you anyway. You belong here, with me."
She stared at him in surprise. He never showed his feelings. Even now, as she stared at him, his face was a red as a strawberry. "Excuse me?"
His blush deepened. He looked at her. "You have no idea how happy I was... when I saw you again."
She ignored the fluttering of butterflies in her stomach. "How did I even get here?"
"I'm not telling you until you sit down right here." He patted a space on the mattress on front of him.
She reluctantly sat stiffly. She didn't want to put him in danger, but she knew she had to find out what was going on.
He began. "Your soul and Kikyou's are the same, right? So when Kikyou released all of her souls, you were pulled into my world, so you could receive whatever she had left. You remember when you almost lost your soul...?"
"Hold on. You absolutely skipped the first part of the story. Kikyou's alive?"
"Not anymore. I didn't kill her the first time." He said this gently, looking her in the eye. Kikyou would never be between them anymore. "She still lived. This time, she died on her own, when she realized that she could never take me again, because I belong to you."
Kagome blushed at this. She knew what he was saying. She was reading everything loud and clear. "That doesn't change the fact that I slept with your brother because I didn't trust you. Because I was insecure... and he used that to his advantage. I could do that again."
"Would you do it willingly?"
"Of course not."
"Then you've learned your lesson. I don't care anymore. I forgive you. I love you too much to risk everything because of that. And I can see you weren't into it very much."
"No..." She broke off.
Inu-Yasha held her face in his hands. His eyes were pained and hopeful as he asked, "Will you please stay with me?" He blushed again.
Kagome stared at him. He was right. She would never let herself fall anyone's tricks ever again. She trusted Inu-Yasha now. He had proved his love could transcend anything. What had she done in return? She saw dark circles under his eyes and noticed how thin he looked. Grief. She had caused him grief. She wasn't worthy of him. Her back stiffened. Now it was her goal to make herself worthy.
Inu-Yasha saw the look in her eyes. He rushed. "You're not unworthy." Kagome raised an eyebrow, wondering how he had read her mind. "You've proved before that you love me... so many times I couldn't even count. You still stayed with me when I chose to protect Kikyou. You were always kind and generous, and I've always felt your love." This was too mushy for him. Every word that came out his mouth caused him to blush. But it came from the heart, so he really didn't mind so much.
Kagome's eyes suddenly filled with joyous tears. "You're saying we're even?"
"If I say yes, will you stay?"
"If you tell me the truth, I might."
"Yes, we're even. You've stuck by me... now I'm sticking by you."
Kagome smiled as her tears fell. Inu-Yasha brushed them away, wondering why she was crying. She was supposed to be happy, dammit!
The confused look on Inu-Yasha's face had her laughing even more. Inu-Yasha relaxed and looked at her.
"Where do we go from here?" he asked as he grasped her hands.
Kagome thought for a while before reaching up and holding the back of Inu-Yasha's head, pulling him towards her for a solid kiss, pouring her heart and soul into it. She felt Inu-Yasha respond without a murmur, caressing her cheek with his thumb.
When she broke it, the dazed look on his face made her smile. "Let's start from there."
Chapter 10
Before she even leaped out of the well, a purple haze met her inside it and seeped into her chest. Kagome gasped a little in surprise. Something was happening. She climbed otu of the well quickly. Just as her feet touched the ground, she fell to her knees, enveloped in more of the haze. She felt tired... mortally tired. Physciallly tired. Even emotionally tired. How could she feel this way all of a sudden? The haze wrapped around her firmly, and it continued to seep into her chest. Her eyes closed and she opened herself to it, embracing it with her mind. Somehow, she felt whole... more so than before. What had she missed? What was this thing?
The haze willed her to open her eyes. She obeyed, and following its commands, stood up and began to walk towards the waterfall.
...
Inu-Yasha watched at Kikyou slowly committed suicide. Her soul gatherers were long gone. He had never even seen them but he knew they were.
Kikyou was kneeling with her head bowed, her hands clasped together as if she was praying. She had released all of the souls that had kept her alive all this time. Now she was releasing her essence. Her eyes were closed, watching her previous life flash before her eyes. She smiled a little, sadly. She would miss times of joy and pain. At least she had felt them. Better to have lived and now to die. That way, one can truly know that life is precious. She opened her eyes and gazed at Inu-Yasha, who was watching her with interest.
She shook her head. He didn't know. He would find out soon enough.
She was here. She could feel her. The tugging of the soul... it didn't want to have to cross the time barrier. It wanted her to come. So she came. It was her soul after all. Kagome's time was now. Kikyou's was past.
...
Kagome climbed the rocks automatically, not noticing the sharp rock fragments bite into her hands. The purple haze tried to lift her unsuccessfully. She smiled. She was too heavy. In any case, she was going up, at least. What was up there? Anything familiar? She remembered how she had tried to kill herself on this waterfall. That was fruitless as well. Maybe the purple haze was telling her to die. She would do so. The haze was making her so tired, she wanted to go to sleep. Rest was all she needed. Then...who knows? Whatever comes after.
She blinked several times, pausing on the rock formation. She couldn't die. Not now. She was just starting to put her life together. Not now, not like this. She climbed steadily at the haze's insistence, finally arriving at the top. There, she fell to her knees and closed her eyes immediately. The haze almost seemed to bowl her over as it rushed into her chest. She felt her back started to fall back down the side when a pair of strong hands caught her.
He had been so surprised that she was here. Why was she? Was it something she had forgotten? What was that cloud that hung over her? He looked back at Kikyou, noticing the same cloud... but it was rushing from Kikyou... into Kagome. What did this mean?
Suddenly, it hit him, hard. Kikyou's soul and Kagome's were the same. Kagome was only taking it back from Kikyou. He remembered how Kikyou was resurrected so long ago... how Kagome was almost an empty shell because her soul had gone to Kikyou's body. But she had reclaimed most of it... she was more than an empty shell. She was Kagome.
He then noticed her falling back and quickly ran ver to lift her up. The cloud was cold. It brushed his cheeks, and Inu-Yasha thought he felt icy fingers caressing his nose and his hair. The same feeling met his lips, and he turned away quickly, pressing his lips together for warmth. He thought he heard a soft laugh before it was gone again.
And then everything went still.
The ice was gone.
The wind was gone.
Kikyou's body was gone.
A small pile of earth and bones was in the spot her body had occupied.
Kagome was in his arms.
She was so beautiful, so peaceful. She was back where she belonged. He gingerly touched her face, brushing away her bangs. He brought her away from the edge and set her in his lap, putting her head on his shoulder. His hands gently stroked her hair, brushing it and caressing it. His eyes searched her for injuries, noticing her hands. Her palms were a bit bloody, so he picked them up and started to lick away the red liquid.
A slight pressure against her hands made Kagome stir. She felt a strong, soft, warm... something... by her, and she snuggled into it instinctively. Must be her pillow...
Inu-Yasha only welcomed her in, blushing a little. He looked around, raising his ears so that he made sure no one was watching. Satisfied that there was no one, he scooped up some water from the rushing fall (they were near the edge of it), and cleaned Kagome's hands.
Kagome felt something press into her hands and recognized it as another hand. She entwined her fingers around the other hand's fingers and went back to sleep.
Inu-Yasha's blush deepened. Was Kagome awake? He peered at her face. No... he was fairly sure she wasn't. So what was happening? She was the only sleeping person he had ever known who did these kinds of things. He stared at her sleeping against his shoulder and almost smiled. She was here again... in his arms... like he had dreamed for three days. Maybe her absence had been worth it... if only to feel this satisfied and content. He made sure no one was around again before he kissed her lightly, making sure not to wake her. Then he carried her back to Kaede's hut.
...
Inu-Yasha laid Kagome on the bed, trying in vain to get her arms off him. ON the way over, she had clamped her arms around his neck a bit tightly, almost choking him. Now he really was choking. He tried to pull away... there. Her arms had loosened. He had never known someone so strong when he or she slept. He tried to pull away a little more....
But Kagome suddenly pulled his neck down violently, making him fall into the bed beside her. His face burned, and he was thankful no one would see him. It was night, every one was sleeping quietly. He had taken his time, trying to avoid waking her. Even though he crashed into a few trees, tripped and almost fell, and then cursed himself loudly for it, she never woke.
Inu-Yasha repoisitoned himself, finding he couldn't scramble out of her hold.
"Kuso, wench," he whispered. But his heart wasn't in it. He looked at her gently and found at least 5 inches of space between them. That was enough. He placed a hand over hers, which was on his cheek, and stared at her until he fell asleep.
...
Kagome stirred. There was something soft under her... a matress. A blanket was over her body as she stretched lazily. She smiled as she realized the sunlight was pouring in through a window. It was warm, fuzzy... she snuggled backwards into a strong form behind her.
A strong form?! She turned around quickly to find a sleeping Inu-Yasha beside her. Not that she was complaining. He had been beside her the entire night? How did she even get to where she was...? She looked around the room, finding it to be familiarly in Kaede's house. Then she started to remember what had happened. The pull, the purple haze, the strong arms. That must have been Inu-Yasha. But what had happened. She stared at Inu-Yasha in confusion when she suddenly realized that she had no right to be here. No right at all. Yet... she touched Inu-Yasha's face gently, and was slightly amused when his face turned to her hand. She heard him sigh in satisfaction before his breathing came slowly and deeply.
She loved him with all her heart. It hurt how much she loved him. But could she keep putting him in danger? It wasn't right. She shouldn't. She couldn't. So she carefully got off the bed and ran a hand thorugh her tousled hair. She quietly put her shoes back on, which were in the corner of the room, but the door. She turned the handle and was about to step outside.
"Where do you think you're going?"
She froze and turned around. Inu-Yasha was sitting up in bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and then staring at her fixedly. "Back home. Where I belong."
"You don't belong there."
"Says who?" Her voice was cold and clipped. She had to end it here, right now, so that it wouldn't hurt so much.
"Says me."
"Che. Then tell me where I belong. On second thought, don't. I don't need to listen to you."
"But I'm going to tell you anyway. You belong here, with me."
She stared at him in surprise. He never showed his feelings. Even now, as she stared at him, his face was a red as a strawberry. "Excuse me?"
His blush deepened. He looked at her. "You have no idea how happy I was... when I saw you again."
She ignored the fluttering of butterflies in her stomach. "How did I even get here?"
"I'm not telling you until you sit down right here." He patted a space on the mattress on front of him.
She reluctantly sat stiffly. She didn't want to put him in danger, but she knew she had to find out what was going on.
He began. "Your soul and Kikyou's are the same, right? So when Kikyou released all of her souls, you were pulled into my world, so you could receive whatever she had left. You remember when you almost lost your soul...?"
"Hold on. You absolutely skipped the first part of the story. Kikyou's alive?"
"Not anymore. I didn't kill her the first time." He said this gently, looking her in the eye. Kikyou would never be between them anymore. "She still lived. This time, she died on her own, when she realized that she could never take me again, because I belong to you."
Kagome blushed at this. She knew what he was saying. She was reading everything loud and clear. "That doesn't change the fact that I slept with your brother because I didn't trust you. Because I was insecure... and he used that to his advantage. I could do that again."
"Would you do it willingly?"
"Of course not."
"Then you've learned your lesson. I don't care anymore. I forgive you. I love you too much to risk everything because of that. And I can see you weren't into it very much."
"No..." She broke off.
Inu-Yasha held her face in his hands. His eyes were pained and hopeful as he asked, "Will you please stay with me?" He blushed again.
Kagome stared at him. He was right. She would never let herself fall anyone's tricks ever again. She trusted Inu-Yasha now. He had proved his love could transcend anything. What had she done in return? She saw dark circles under his eyes and noticed how thin he looked. Grief. She had caused him grief. She wasn't worthy of him. Her back stiffened. Now it was her goal to make herself worthy.
Inu-Yasha saw the look in her eyes. He rushed. "You're not unworthy." Kagome raised an eyebrow, wondering how he had read her mind. "You've proved before that you love me... so many times I couldn't even count. You still stayed with me when I chose to protect Kikyou. You were always kind and generous, and I've always felt your love." This was too mushy for him. Every word that came out his mouth caused him to blush. But it came from the heart, so he really didn't mind so much.
Kagome's eyes suddenly filled with joyous tears. "You're saying we're even?"
"If I say yes, will you stay?"
"If you tell me the truth, I might."
"Yes, we're even. You've stuck by me... now I'm sticking by you."
Kagome smiled as her tears fell. Inu-Yasha brushed them away, wondering why she was crying. She was supposed to be happy, dammit!
The confused look on Inu-Yasha's face had her laughing even more. Inu-Yasha relaxed and looked at her.
"Where do we go from here?" he asked as he grasped her hands.
Kagome thought for a while before reaching up and holding the back of Inu-Yasha's head, pulling him towards her for a solid kiss, pouring her heart and soul into it. She felt Inu-Yasha respond without a murmur, caressing her cheek with his thumb.
When she broke it, the dazed look on his face made her smile. "Let's start from there."