Escape from the Darkness: Chapter 9
Severus spent the rest of the class session trying not to watch Hermione Granger. She seemed very upset, but still managed to make a perfect potion. That was more than could be said for Potter and Weasley, whose potions were comparable to Neville Longbottom's in his first few years at Hogwarts. Of course, Longbottom in his current state had actually made a potion that had turned out decent. Severus didn't know how he did it, for Granger had not spoken to Longbottom throughout the entire class, which led him to believe that Longbottom had managed to do everything on his own. It was quite astonishing.
"Potter, Weasley, ten points from each of you for failure to concentrate during class," he barked at them when Potions ended. They both quickly left the classroom, neither of them speaking to any of the other students. He noticed that Granger was packing up her books very slowly, and was the last student remaining in the class. When she finished, she rushed past him, without saying anything, which was unusual for her. "Goodbye, Miss Granger," he called after her, not wanting to let her leave without hearing the sound of her voice. She mumbled something in return, and he noticed her face turning red. Severus smirked at the blush that formed on her face, relishing her discomfort.
There had been no mistaking her conduct during class. She had been envious of Fleur Delacour. All of the signs pointed to one thing, which seemed highly unlikely. It was as if Hermione Granger was interested in him. He had no idea why she would be. All of the students hated him—it was something he made sure of. And yet, over the past few months when he was around her, he felt his guard dropping. He had actually been nice to her! And the worst part of it was that he enjoyed acting that way towards her. It gave him pleasure to see the smile on her face when he was kind to her. His pulse raced whenever he saw it, because with it came the realization that he had been the one to put it there. He couldn't think of any time in his life when he had actually cared about somebody else's happiness.
Was this a good thing? Something deep down inside of him was screaming yes, that it was wonderful. Severus didn't understand those feelings; they were strange and new to him. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to explore the implications of these emotions. Although she was absolutely brilliant, she was still a student. He shouldn't be thinking about her as anything besides that. But he was, and had been since June.
His interest in her had been developing so gradually that he hadn't actually realized it until today, when he noticed her strange behavior. Severus knew that it would drive him insane until he figured out exactly what she was thinking. Of course, he rationalized, that would probably never happen, so he would be forced to live the rest of his life as a lunatic.
He wondered if she would come to his library that night. He had received several new books that couldn't even be found in the Restricted Section, ones which Hermione Granger had expressed interest in reading.
However, she did not come. Nor did she come the next night, or at any time in the next three weeks.
Severus could feel himself growing lonelier and lonelier as the days wore on. Over the summer and the first two weeks of the term, he had become accustomed to her presence. It wasn't just that he wanted another person in the room (for he knew that Fleur Delacour would have been happy to oblige him in that respect). No, that definitely wasn't the case. He wanted her to be there. At one point, having her near had been absolutely maddening and annoying. But now, he felt that way because she wasn't there.
Despite this longing, Severus knew that it was better this way, even though it was torturous. He couldn't seek her out; it was already bad enough that he had such a strong desire to see her. There was no way he could act on it, because she was a student. Not only was it was contrary to all of his principles, but there were also rules against it.
"Severus, I've been noticing that you seem quite worn out recently," Albus told him one day in the middle of October. "And it's no wonder. With the classes you teach and all of your work for the Order, especially with the potions you are currently brewing, you have been doing the work of three people. I think you should find an assistant." Severus scowled, as Albus continued. "Unfortunately, we are quite limited in our choices, since it must be somebody who is trustworthy and aware of the Order of the Phoenix. Therefore, I think that it should be Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, or Hermione Granger. Or perhaps Neville Longbottom…"
"You want me to be aided by a student, Albus? Are you sure that is wise?" Severus wasn't sure which idea was more preposterous, having a student assistant, or having Potter, Weasley, or Longbottom as an assistant. In the years that Severus had known him, Headmaster Dumbledore had come up with many peculiar ideas, but this had to be the worst.
"The last time I checked, the four of them were enrolled in your Advanced Potions class, which only the top students are admitted into."
"You know that I only allowed Potter, Weasley, and Longbottom into my class because I'm not allowed to deny admittance to any student with the appropriate number of O.W.L.s," he said snappishly to the Headmaster.
Albus, used to Severus' temper, spoke calmly back to him. "Very well then, Severus. Since you object so adamantly to Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley and Mr. Longbottom, I think that Miss Granger would be suitable for the position."
Although he momentarily felt a twinge of dismay at losing the argument with the Headmaster, Severus almost smiled. Suddenly the emptiness inside of him felt like it was filling up again. Just the thought of spending all that time with Hermione Granger was enough to cause his melancholy to fade. How different this was from the way he had felt just a few months earlier! It made him happy, but scared him at the same time. Part of him wished that these feelings would just go away. It was against his nature to act like a lovesick adolescent. Especially over someone like her, an irritating Gryffindor who was sickeningly perfect. Nonetheless, it was impossible for him to deny it—he was falling for Hermione Granger.
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Hermione took a deep breath. Why had she agreed to this? Actually, she knew why—because Headmaster Dumbledore had convinced her that her assistance would be a valuable asset to the Order of the Phoenix. It had been impossible to refuse.
She slowly walked to the dungeon, dreading seeing her Potions professor. She had seen him scarcely over the past few weeks, mainly because she had been avoiding him. She always tried to leave class the moment it was over, and arrived right before it began, in order to prevent herself from being alone with him. However, thoughts of Professor Snape constantly plagued her mind. Although several weeks had passed since she had become aware of his relationship with Professor Delacour, the misery she felt hadn't gone away. Because of that, Hermione wasn't sure how she would be able to bear spending a lot of time brewing potions with him.
She sighed as she arrived at his office door, and then knocked.
"Come in," his voice said. Hermione entered apprehensively. "Good evening, Miss Granger," Snape said to her and smiled. Hermione was briefly taken aback. It was so rare to see a genuine smile on his face. Despite her reservations about seeing him, she found herself smiling back.
"Miss Granger, the reason Headmaster Dumbledore was so insistent that you help me is that I am making a very powerful potion for the fight against the Dark Lord. It is very difficult to brew—especially for only one person—and takes a lot of preparation time. There have been only a handful of successes in making this potion. It is called the Life-Draining Draught and, obviously, depletes the power of the person it is administered to. It is our hope that it will weaken Voldemort enough so that it will be possible to defeat him." At that point, Professor Snape handed Hermione a stack of parchment sheets, listing the ingredients and procedure for brewing it. She had read of it in Moste Potente Potions six months earlier, but had never actually thought that she would get the chance to make it. After she finished glancing at the instructions, the two of them headed to Snape's laboratory.
"Miss Granger," the Potions Master began while they walked, "I must say, I'm surprised you haven't taken advantage of my collection of books. You seemed so eager to read some of them a month ago." Hermione's face turned red, and she stopped. He almost sounds disappointed. But, she knew that was impossible.
"I'm sorry, sir. But I was worried that I might disturb you and your girlfriend by being there." Hermione was surprised that her remark had come out in such a biting manner.
"My girlfriend?" He seemed confused.
Hermione gave him a spiteful glance. "Or lover, or whatever it is you call her," she snapped. He still looked puzzled. She sighed. "Professor Snape, I know all about you and Professor Delacour. You don't have to hide it from me."
"Oh…I see," Snape said hesitantly. Then he smirked, which was absolutely infuriating to Hermione. How could he be so cruel? She turned away from him, stalking heatedly towards the laboratory. I knew that working with him would be a bad idea, she thought. Snape didn't make any other mention of it; instead, he directed her on the part of the potion she would be working on.
After she began stirring her cauldron, Hermione felt her anger slowly evaporating. It was much easier to channel all of her emotions into preparing the potion than she had originally suspected. As they worked, she began to realize why it was so vital for multiple wizards to work on it. The two of them needed to brew two separate mixtures, let each of them sit, and then add them together. It would be nearly impossible for one person to do it on his or her own (of course, Snape would have probably attempted this if Headmaster Dumbledore hadn't suggested otherwise).
"Now what?" she asked when she finished her portion.
"We wait twenty minutes," he responded. "This will ring when it is time to add the two together." He pointed to a bell, which she assumed had been charmed to work as a timer.
They read over the next set of instructions. Then Hermione began to chop the dandelion roots for the second step of the potion brewing process.
"Miss Granger!" Snape was suddenly right behind her, stopping her hand. "If you insist on slicing your dandelions in such a furious manner, they'll eventually turn into a powder, which will ruin the potion."
The soft touch of his hand on hers and the warmth of his breath on her neck were enough to cause all of the blood to drain from her face. She wanted to say something in response to his snide comment, but his nearness prevented it. He removed his hand, but was still standing behind her. Feeling as though she was under a spell, Hermione continued cutting the roots in silence, willing her hand not to shake with nervousness under his intent gaze.
"That's much better, Hermione," he said to her in a low, silky voice, his lips right next to her ear. It took her a few seconds to realize that he had just called her by her first name. Her heart began hammering in her chest. He was so close to her…
At that moment, the bell rang. Hermione jumped. Professor Snape was across the room in several seconds, at the side of his own cauldron, already preparing it to add it to hers. "We have a window of one minute to combine our separate mixtures into one. If we do it too late, the potion will be ruined and we'll need to start over." His voice—although a bit more anxious than usual—was back to its normal tone.
The two of them managed to pour their cauldrons into a larger one before the time limit was over. Hermione's heart was still pounding and she was trembling, but she, luckily, didn't allow that to prevent her from following Snape's directions.
Neither of them spoke after they mixed the two substances together. Hermione went back to cutting her dandelion roots, and then put them in a bigger mixture. She could feel Snape's eyes on her the entire time. After she added in the rest of the ingredients, he spoke. "Miss Granger, you may go now. It's necessary for this part of the potion to sit for two days. I expect you back here the evening after tomorrow."
Hermione nodded, her voice still failing her, then left the room as fast as she could. She was getting more confused about the Potions Master with every encounter. He had actually called her by her given name. And his voice… the way he had spoken was so different from normal. He rarely spoke to her without sarcasm, but every time he did, she was left utterly baffled. And it was impossible to get the memory of his touch out of her head. She didn't understand him, not at all. Would she ever? Probably not. Hermione sighed as she got ready for bed. She was positive that she had a long, sleepless night ahead of her.