Escape From the Darkness: Chapter 12
Hermione walked through door, a dreamy smile on her face. Just as she was about to close the door, she heard Severus's voice behind her.
"Minerva."
Hermione froze, holding her breath, her heart stopping. Her entire body felt numb, but she somehow managed to turn around. Her Transfiguration professor was staring at Severus. And she did not look happy. No no no no! If she hadn't been so shaken, Hermione would have begun screaming, a very un-Hermione thing to do. All of her dreams were falling apart. She knew that McGonagall wouldn't be accepting like Selene had been. And that would be the end of them. She would be expelled, Severus would be fired, and both of them would have nothing left in their lives.
McGonagall finally spoke, rage apparent in her voice. "Severus, out of all the students to take advantage of, you had to choose Hermione Granger, the Head Girl, one of the greatest students Gryffindor House has ever seen?"
Hermione interrupted her, her voice shaking. "He didn't take advantage of me. I was completely willing to start a relationship with Severus. I'm in love with him."
Whatever effect her confession had on McGonagall, it definitely didn't decrease her anger. In fact, it caused another expression to be added to her face. Disappointment. Hermione was heartbroken. Professor McGonagall had always been important to her. In her first year, Professor McGonagall was the one she had always turned to when she had felt homesick, when she had been ostracized by the other students. Professor McGonagall had been like a second mother to her. Hermione had always respected her most out of all of her teachers. Because of that, the way that Minerva McGonagall was looking at her hurt more than any possible punishment could have.
"I must say, I'm stunned. Both of you should be ashamed at your behavior!" She sighed and her voice softened. "I do not know how to handle this situation. Only the Headmaster can determine that."
She turned around, and Hermione and Severus followed her. The entire walk to Dumbledore's office felt like a dream… a very bad one. Hermione vaguely noticed Severus grabbing her hand for a brief moment, giving it a reassuring squeeze, then releasing it. He looked as nervous as she felt. And when Severus Snape was uneasy about something, it had to be bad.
All three of them remained silent until they reached the Headmaster's office. Hermione felt dizzy as Professor McGonagall explained what she had stumbled upon. She wanted to defend herself and Severus… but what would she say? They had broken so many rules, and McGonagall seemed convinced that Severus had taken advantage of her. After McGonagall was finished, all of them looked at the Headmaster expectantly.
He paused for a few seconds. That short moment of silence felt like a thousand years to Hermione. She struggled to control her emotions, feeling like she would burst into tears, screams, or both if she didn't.
Dumbledore gave them all a defeated look. "I have never encountered a case such as this in all of my years as Headmaster of this school. I truly do not know the best way to solve this problem. I want this relationship ended immediately." Hermione stared downward. Everything that they had worked towards over the past few months was now crumbling. She had hoped that people would be accepting, but very few were.
"Although this should cost you your job, Severus, all of my better judgment suggests otherwise." Hermione let out the breath that she had been holding. At least he wouldn't be fired; that was the most important thing. "With the state of the wizarding world at the moment, sending either of you away from Hogwarts would put you in grave danger. However…" He became maddeningly quiet for a few instants. Hermione wanted to scream at him to just tell them his decision.
"However, both of you have broken my trust, something which is not earned easily. If the two of you remain in Hogwarts Castle, I have no guarantee that you will discontinue seeing each other. In fact, my instincts tell me that you will not break it off. I feel like I have only one choice. Hermione, you will transfer to Beauxbatons straight away." Hermione nodded mindlessly. She didn't know whether to be happy or not. She would be away from all of her friends, from Severus, everything important to her. However, she knew that the Headmaster was making allowances for them. Their punishment could be so much worse.
However, it was still bad for her, and she felt ready to begin crying any second. Instead, she held back her tears and spoke weakly, her voice nearly a whisper. "Thank you, Headmaster Dumbledore, for letting me continue my education and for allowing Severus to keep his job." She knew that her attempts to sound grateful were pathetic. She was sad and angry. But, getting mad at Dumbledore wouldn't help anything; he had been fairer than Hermione would have hoped for. The main thing that she was upset about was the circumstances. Why couldn't they just have a normal, happy relationship?
"It seems that neither of you understand the seriousness of this situation," Dumbledore continued. "Severus, you are masquerading as a Death Eater and Hermione is a Muggle-born witch. If word got out that you were seeing each other, Voldemort would become aware of your duplicity. He would have no qualms about killing either of you." The words hung in the air. How could they have been so careless? Sure, this time only Professor McGonagall had caught them. But what if Malfoy, or one of the other students with a Death Eater parent had seen them?
"I'm not going to apologize for starting something with Hermione," Severus told the Headmaster angrily. The look on his face was the same one that he used to scare first-year students. However, Dumbledore didn't flinch. "She's the first person in my life who actually means something to me. My only regret is that we were not more discreet."
Professor McGonagall was fuming. "Severus, how can you say such a thing? Don't you care at all—" She was silenced as Dumbledore held up his hand.
"Now, Minerva, I'm sure you remember what it was like to be in love."
Her face became pallid as she looked away. "That was an unsuitable match, in the same way that this is."
Hermione's eyes widened. Had her Transfigurations professor actually had a boyfriend before?
"How are we unsuitable for each other?" Severus snapped at McGonagall. "If this had happened a year later, after Hermione finished school, would it have been any different? I don't think that it would have; you would still be attempting to find some way to stop it."
"Severus," Hermione interrupted. This had to stop. He and McGonagall were glaring hatefully at each other. Hermione wouldn't have been surprised if the two of them pulled out their wands and began dueling. "Severus, I'll go. To Beauxbatons, I mean." Her voice was trembling. "I agree with Headmaster Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall. It will be better this way. I'll pack my things to leave for France immediately," she told the Headmaster. She tried to smile convincingly, but it was impossible. If she stayed a moment longer, she would begin whimpering like a baby. Without another word, Hermione turned on her heel and left the office, three surprised faces staring after her.
She was grateful that the tears didn't begin falling down her cheeks until she was in the corridor, for she had been trying to act like a true Gryffindor, keeping a brave face in front of Severus. The halls were completely empty, since it was not only after curfew, but also the Christmas holidays. Thank goodness for that. Hermione would not have wanted to have been forced to explain her condition to anybody. She didn't even know what she was doing. It was the right thing to do, of course, but it hurt so much. This would probably be the biggest mistake of her life, but what else could she do?
Hermione began furiously muttering spells to put all of her possessions into her trunk. Never in her life had she packed so rapidly for anything. She had to leave Hogwarts as soon as possible. Otherwise she wouldn't be able to do it.
Less than an hour had passed before the entire Head Girl's room looked exactly the same way it had before the beginning of the term. Hermione swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. She had worked diligently for six years to get that room… and now she was giving it up so willingly.
"Come on, Crookshanks," she said to her cat, trying to coax him to come with her. He remained planted on her bed, refusing to leave. She didn't blame him. This room had been his home for the past four months. "Please, Crookshanks," she pleaded, but with no success. Hermione sighed, and tried to grab him. He jumped out of her reach, hissing at her. For some reason, this caused her to begin sobbing. After a few minutes, she felt like she could pull herself together. She shrunk her belongings so that she could easily handle them. Crookshanks obediently trotted next to her, having decided not to resist and possibly make her cry again. She gave the room one last glance, then shut the door behind her.
"Hermione," a voice said urgently from the shadows. All of the emotions she had been attempting to control flooded over her once again.
"S... Severus?" She looked into the insistent pair of black eyes.
"Please, don't leave. I can try to persuade Albus to—"
Hermione turned her head away. It was easier for her if she didn't have to look at his face. "You know I have to. Severus, it's the only solution." After a few seconds, she allowed herself to look at him again. The gloomy expression in her eyes increased the ache in her chest. She wanted to give him some sort of promise, something to look forward to. Hermione wanted to tell him that the moment she finished her schooling, they could be together again. But she couldn't do that. At least not while Voldemort was still alive. Dumbledore had been exactly right when he said that both of them would be in danger if Voldemort found out about them.
Hermione hated the way he was gazing at her. She hated Minerva McGonagall for finding out about them and she hated Albus Dumbledore for not bending the rules further than he already had. And she hated herself for allowing them to be forced into this position. "I'm sorry, Severus."
She began to walk away when Severus grabbed her arm. "I love you, Hermione," he told her.
She shut her eyes to squeeze away the tears that were forming. "I love you too, Severus," she told him in a hoarse voice. Before she could open her eyes, his lips were on over hers. Hermione kissed him back eagerly, savoring the moment. She didn't know if she would ever be able to kiss him again. Eventually, Hermione forced herself to pull away, feeling heartbroken. "I need to leave," she told him. Without another glance at him, she walked to the Headmaster's office.
Dumbledore quickly explained to her a few of the differences between the curriculums at Hogwarts and Beauxbatons. Hermione couldn't contain her nervousness. She had only learned a small amount of French, back when she was a child in a Muggle school. That would make the transition difficult for her. And she couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like to be away from Severus… No, she wouldn't think about that.
The Headmaster finished. "Madame Maxime is expecting you, Miss Granger." He gave her a handful of Floo Powder, gesturing towards the fireplace.
As she walked towards the fireplace, Hermione grabbed Crookshanks, happy to have someone to hold onto. She held him close with her free arm, and used the other hand to throw the powder. "Beauxbatons!"
*************
Dear Harry,
I suppose that you're wondering where I've been for the past few days. It's not easy to explain, but I'll tell you this: I'm now a student at Beauxbatons. I cannot tell you all of the details as to why I have to transfer, but you might be able to guess. I miss you and Ron quite a bit. Although most of the people here are not as snobbish as Fleur Delacour (luckily), it is nothing compared to Hogwarts. I miss all of the friendly faces and the fun classes. Even though I've only been to Beauxbatons classes for a few days, I can already tell that the teachers here are not nearly as interesting as those at Hogwarts. Speaking of classes, I have a Transfiguration essay due in a few days that I have to finish. We're learning about Conjuring spells. Of course, I already know how to do it, but it's still fun to learn it in a classroom setting. However, my teacher isn't nearly as good as McGonagall. I miss you and will write more to you soon!
Love, Hermione
Harry was staring at the letter long after the owl had left. It was certainly short, but he had already read through it enough to memorize it (well, except for the Transfiguration stuff). He didn't know what to make of it. Why had Hermione left so abruptly? He had his suspicions, and all of them had to do with Snape. She had told him months earlier that she was in love with Snape. Every time he didn't know where Hermione was he had consulted the Marauder's Map. And each time, she had always been in the same place. The dungeons. Hermione hadn't told him anything about what was going on with her. He knew that she was working on some sort of potion, but that was it. Over the past few months, he had scarcely seen her at all.
Angrily, Harry stormed downstairs to Snape's office, where the Map had shown him. He pounded on the door for several moments before his Potions professor finally opened it. Harry immediately began bombarding him with questions. "What did you do to Hermione? Why did she have to leave?"
He cringed at the malicious look on Snape's face. "How nice to see you too, Potter," he began sarcastically.
"What did you do to Hermione?" Harry asked again.
Snape sneered at him. "I did absolutely nothing to her. It was the decision of Headmaster Dumbledore and her to leave."
Harry frowned. "I know what was going on between the two of you." He really didn't, but Snape didn't have to know that. Something flashed instantly in Snape's eyes which confirmed that something had happened with Hermione.
Within a second, Snape's expression was back to normal. "And what exactly do you know happened between Miss Granger and me?" Harry remained silent. "That's what I thought, Mr. Potter. Now if you'll excuse me, I do not need you wasting more of my time than you already have." With that, he slammed the door in Harry's face.
Harry was seething. He hated Snape so much! He quickly went up to Dumbledore's office, nearly running into Professor McGonagall, who was stepping out of it. "Mr. Potter, what is the matter?"
"Professor, I need to see the headmaster immediately!"
"What is this about?" Minerva McGonagall asked him.
Harry went on to tell her about his letter from Hermione, and his fears that Snape had hurt her in some way or another.
A sad look formed on McGonagall's face. "Do not worry, Mr. Potter, Severus would never harm a student, especially one as brilliant as Miss Granger. Her reason for leaving was something else completely." Harry gave her a skeptical look. "I cannot tell you more, nor can the Headmaster. Now, Mr. Potter, it is after curfew, so I will have to take ten points away from you. I expect you to return to the Gryffindor common room immediately."
Harry nodded solemnly and walked back to Gryffindor Tower. He wanted to know more, but at least he had established that Snape hadn't done anything bad to Hermione.
When he got back to the common room, Ron was the only person there. "Harry, what's going on?" he asked. "Seamus told me that you just ran out of here without telling anybody where you were going."
He filled Ron in on the letter from Hermione, but left out the part about Snape. Ron didn't need to know about that. He had Hermione were not back to what they had before Ron's confession, but they had been slowly trying to mend their friendship. Harry presumed that they would have been back to normal if Hermione had spent more time with the two of them than she had with Professor Snape. "What do you suppose her reason for leaving is, Harry?" Ron asked him curiously. Harry just shook his head without meeting Ron's eyes. "I'm worried about her," Ron told him. "She has barely been around over the past few months and now she's suddenly in France?!"
They both stared at the fire for a few minutes before Harry asked the question that had been plaguing him for the last few months "Are you still in love with her, Ron?"
Ron didn't respond for a moment, instead kept gazing at the fireplace. He finally turned to look at Harry. "No, Harry. I never was."
Harry stared at him dumbfounded, as Ron went on. "She's the only girl that I've been good friends with. Of course I love her, the same way I love my sister. But for all these years I've been mistaking that for something more. It's what everyone expects. My parents, my siblings, everybody in Gryffindor. All of them think that Hermione and I will be married at some point. So many people thought that way that I had begun to believe it myself."
Harry stared at him in astonishment. He didn't know whether to be happy or confused. Of course, what if Ron fell in love with somebody else, somebody less worthy of him than Hermione? "So all this time… you haven't been in love at all?"
"Not with Hermione," Ron said plainly, staring straight at him. The feeling was so unnerving that Harry had to look away, his face growing warm.
"You say that as if you're been in love with somebody else… Are you?" Harry asked, not wanting to hear the answer.
"So many questions, Harry!" Ron joked. Harry wanted to scream at him to just answer it already. Ron didn't. "Sorry, Harry, I'll answer that one later." Harry just glared at him. "Now I have one for you. Will you go with me to Hogsmeade this weekend?"
"We always go together to Hogsmeade," Harry said crossly. He was still annoyed that Ron was being so secretive. "Of course I'll—"
"No, Harry," Ron said, interrupting him. "Will you go with me to Hogsmeade this weekend?"
Suddenly it dawned on him what Ron was getting at. Harry was absolutely shocked. Was Ron asking him out on… a date? Harry looked into Ron's eyes once again, realizing that it was indeed what he was asking.
His face turned crimson and it was a few seconds before he could finally sputter out a response. "Yes, Ron, I would love to go with you."
***********
Severus tried to shut out the pain—both physical and otherwise—that seared through him when his Dark Mark turned black. The last week had been absolute hell… and now it was going to get much worse. He had scarcely left the dungeons, and didn't want to now. Sure, he would suffer the Dark Lord's wrath for now showing up, but he wished he could just stay in his sanctuary. The only thing that forced him to get ready to go was the knowledge that the potion he had made with Hermione could defeat Voldemort.
He quickly grabbed a handful of Floo Powder. "Headmaster's Office!"
"Severus?" Albus seemed surprised to see his Potions professor's head appearing in his fireplace at such a late hour.
"Albus, I've been summoned." Severus paused and sighed. "I'm going to administer the potion to him tonight. If I don't return, well, that probably means that I've been caught. If I die, I want you and the Order of the Phoenix to use the potion against Voldemort. Hermione knows where I keep it. It's the only thing that we have which can potentially defeat the Dark Lord. Other than a bratty seventeen-year-old boy, of course," Severus added snidely. It comforted him somewhat that even while his life was in danger, he could still manage to make sarcastic remarks about Potter. Severus nearly cracked a smile. Albus, on the other hand, looked more serious than usual.
"Please, Severus, be careful," the headmaster told him worriedly. "Good luck." With that, Severus, was back in his own room.
A sharp pain shot through his arm once again, reminding him that he had better hurry up. He grabbed his robes and mask, then quickly filled up a vial of the Life-Draining Draught. With one last look at his laboratory, and the hope that he would see it again, Severus left.
Tonight's meeting place was an old house, which probably hadn't been lived in for the past fifty years. Severus didn't know where Voldemort went in between meetings; even though he considered himself aware of all of the Death Eaters' feelings towards him, Voldemort was still extremely paranoid and didn't stay in one place for long. He had a right to be worried. If only he knew that there was one whose Occlumency skills were greater than his own in Legilimency. Of course, Severus thought, tonight may be the time he finds out.
"Severus, how nice of you to join us," the Dark Lord said.
"I apologize, my lord. I think that the old fool might suspect something is amiss." Voldemort frowned at the mention of Dumbledore, which almost made Severus smirk.
"Well, we just began. As I was telling the others who got here on time, tonight we will be plotting our next move. I know that some of you are disappointed that we aren't having any fun tonight, but we need to have some sort of strategy. We are Slytherins, after all. Well, most of us." He sneered in the direction of a Death Eater who Severus assumed was Peter Pettigrew.
Severus listened carefully as the Dark Lord outlined the plan. It was designed to help the remaining Death Eaters break out of Azkaban Prison. It was a relief that it wasn't another attack, but Severus knew that the breakout would probably be followed by one. Throughout the entire time Voldemort was speaking, Severus tried to ignore his anxiety about the potion. He knew what he had to do, and that it had to be done quickly. The vial in his pocket already had a Disillusionment Charm cast on it—all he had to do was somehow get the potion into the water goblet on the table to the right of Lord Voldemort without anybody noticing it, and without allowing Voldemort to read his mind. If let his guard down just for a moment, Voldemort would know. That was the way it always was at these meetings; the moment the Dark Lord detected any doubts among his followers, he used the Cruciatus Curse. And occasionally Imperius if Cruciatus didn't change their minds.
Damn. This was going to be close to impossible. All that could save him were his Occlumency skills and a simple Disillusionment spell. This had to be one of the most horrible strategies he had ever devised, but it was the only thing he could fabricate in the short time since he had entered the room.
He found a breach when Voldemort snapped his fingers, a diagram of Azkaban appearing on the wall to his left side. All of the Death Eaters directed their gazes towards that wall. And away from the glass. Making certain to keep his eyes focused on the picture of Azkaban, and his thoughts closed off completely, Severus put one hand around his wand, and the other around the tube that held the potion. It took less than fifteen seconds for him to guide the potion over to the water goblet, and successfully get the emptied vial back into his pocket. During that entire time, Voldemort hadn't glanced at him once. Severus hid his jubilation at both that time and a few minutes later when Voldemort gulped the last of the contents of the glass down. The effects would come on so gradually that he would never know who or what had caused his state. The potion wouldn't kill him, but it would certainly make him easier to take away his life.
It wasn't until Severus got back to his rooms that he allowed himself to smile for the first time since the day that Hermione left. Hermione. He wanted to contact her somehow, to tell her that he had given the potion to the Dark Lord. But he knew that he couldn't; sending anything by owl was unsafe, and using the Floo Network to go to France would arouse suspicion. As much as he hated it, he had to distance himself from her, for her own safety. If only the thought of that didn't make him feel so empty inside.