Author: I'm sorry for all the rubbish that's next to some of the words, that's FF.net's fault not mine and I'll try and look into it. I'm really sorry. I have a question for reviewers, if you don't like Tyler can you tell me why?

And remember to have a look at my web site, Sakura and her Cardcaptors World, there's a Meiling shrine!

The Card Witch

(Meiling's Diary Continued)

Note from Meiling: I've decided to call this entry 'Understand Love' because I'm trying to figger out what's wrong with my loves.

Dear Diary,

I had a nice start to the day; I woke today to find a briefest tray and Tyler at my bedside.

Good morning my lady and wife to be Tyler greeted me stroking my hair. It felt so nice and the briefest smelt so nice. I pulled myself up and straight away I got the tray on my lap, Tyler seemed very a float. Maybe he's scared of me? Worried that I won't like him, I do like him but I can't help but feel my heart is elsewhere like I'm missing something.

Thank you Tyler, it was very kind of you" I said, I better get moving I'm on class duty today it was Sakura and Syaoran last time it's my turn now

Sakura as in the girl who cried at you mother last night and has locked herself in Syaoran room Sakura?

Yeah

Whom is it on duty with you My Mei-Chan Tyler asked helping me out of bed?

"I don't know, might be Tomoyo it usually is" I replied going into the shower room to do my hair and get dressed.

"Would you like me to walk to school with you? I need to get to High School early myself. You're still in Junior High aren't you?" Tyler asked me. I nodded to both things and told him I'd love to walk to school with him.

Tyler and I walked to school; he's so tall it made me feel like he was my brother rather then my fiancée. I can't believe I only meet him eight hours ago! When we got to the school I turned to him.

"Well I need to get in and do my duties" I said with a smile, Tyler bent down towards my face and kissed me on the lips. I felt that this wouldn't last too long, he'd find someone and I'd once again be put back on the shelf.

Tyler then whispered with his tong in my mouth, "I love you, I'll meet you here after school". Then removing his tong he walked off. I found myself in a daze that I bumped into someone.

"Oh sorry" I said,

"It's fine" Toya said looking down on me. Toya is Sakura's brother, I'm not sure I mentioned him. He's homosexual and his boyfriend is his best friend Yukito.

"I've got to get into school," I told him turning towards the gates then he put his hand on my shoulder and said-

"Is Sakura alright? Is the Li all right? Are you alright?" he asked making me face him,

"No, no and no he's really ill" I replied,

"Tell him that dads worried about him and he's wondering if his mother should be informed" Toya said,

"She knows" I replied slowly. Toya then nodded patted me on the head and headed towards the college he's at now. He really worked hard to get the money for it all.

When I got into the school I headed towards the homeroom and you'll never guess who was there on duty with me;

"Eriol?" I questioned as soon as I saw him, he turned around and looked at me making a blush. I'm sure it's fake. "So am I doing the board or the flowers?" I asked, I admit I was a bit cold on words but he deserves it doesn't he?

"Err………you're mad at me so I must ask. Should I call you Li?" he asked in a sad tone and I found myself feeling sorry for him. "I can tell I'm the one who's upset you and back where I live in England we call our friends always by their first name, even our enemies. But you are a Li and I owe you respect and………"

"Li-Chan o……… will be fine, thank you" I snapped back at him, "And don't give me that fake act I know you're only using me………"

"What?" Eriol said interrupting me now, "I'm not using you Li-Chan, why would you think that?"

"I don't care I just know. I read your diary and actually am sorry I did so" I told him and was true I do feel guilty.

Eriol looked at me and smiled to me, "Clever reason, but what I wrote before all that isn't true anymore and I eat those words for I've made an important discovery" he said making a little blush.

I wasn't going along with this-

"Now please Eriol, I may look stupid but I cannot, will not fall for the same trick twice" I told him turning my back to him.

"I'm braver then Syaoran with my emotions and I………" Eriol started, I just looked at him and he blushed more.

"Okay I get it you're sorry and I guess I'll have to forgive you because of all that crap you made up" I snapped.

Eriol got frustrated and he grabbed me by the arm, "It wasn't a lie and I wasn't saying sorry. Though I am sorry I wasn't just going to remind you of it. What I was trying to say was".

Meiling pulled myself from his and looked away from him.

Eriol mumbled under his breath, I turned around cause I wanted to know what he said about me. "What did you say?" I asked him in an offended manner, I didn't even know that he had said something offensive. He didn't say anything so I just looked away from him and he then put his hand on my shoulder and span me to face him.

He had a snowstorm in his eyes with melted as my fiery eyes looked back. His bluish-Grey eyes looked desperate to cry and my heart felt that sharp shooting pain in the heart. I was feeling sorry for him and my heart was beating fast and I felt that feeling you get downstairs and in my innards. What's wrong with me is he charming me?

No, it's cause I fared of him I'm sure.

"Li-Chan, I don't know what you're doing to me, but I'm sure that ever it is a spell you have willingly cast on me. I have a need for you and I have never felt this way. I can't fight it, please don't forget how I feel- there are millions of men who love you". Then he let me go and walked over to the flowers and put them in the vase.

Had said what I thought he had said, had he said something, which I don't dare write down? Well it was a nice try Eriol but I'm not stupid and I wasn't going to fall for all this rubbish, again, no matter how flattering it is.

Eriol didn't talk for the rest of the day, at least not with me. I spent my day with Tomoyo because both Sakura and Syaoran were off. Syaoran's still ill after a week and a half and Sakura is looking after him since my mother has work in the day. I wonder what Sakura and Syaoran do when no ones at home and Syaoran's not ill.

I was talking to Tomoyo about Tyler, she told me that after all I've been through with Syaoran (I haven't told her about Eriol), and I should have Tyler.

"He sound like a nice kind of man, I hope you hold onto him" Tomoyo told me at lunchtime. We decided to eat together since we both wanted to talk about stuff. "But what I don't understand is Hiiragizawa-kun".

I looked to her and said, "What do you mean?"

"We you two seemed to be getting on like a house on fire" Tomoyo said, "I never would have thought you two would become good friends. People in the class thought I'd be with Eriol very soon" Tomoyo said. She made me feel like a fool again. "But let me tell you" she continued, "I would never fall for someone who tried to kill me, not to say the whole world".

I looked at her and said-

"I know that, for a short period of time he did like you……… but now I don't know. I think he's in love with Kaho-sensei", I told her. Tomoyo nodded and I kept talking, "I think the reason you don't like him in that way is because he's too much like you. I mean you look the same, you act the same and your really lady-like, unlike me".

Tomoyo shook her head, "No Meiling, you're a sweet and kind woman and regardless of what ever happened to you with Eriol, if it was him who blew it he's lost a pretty wonderful woman".

Oh dear sweet Tomoyo-Chan, my dear and only friend. She always looks after me, healing my broken heart, my bleeding wand. Maybe she was ment to be my only friend.

"When I think about it Meiling, I think you would me a wonderful wife to Tyler, but I have to say that I think you'd make a better wife for Eriol then ten of me" Tomoyo started.

"Why? You guys have so much in common and………" I started but she hit me with-

"So much in common? TOO MUCH IN COMMON! But you are right for him!" Tomoyo snapped in her cute high-pitched voice, it sounded like she was yelping!

"What how? Eriol and I don't have a blind thing in common", I told her.

"Yes you do!" Tomoyo told me

"Okay name one thing we have in common", I told her.

" I can name five things. You look right with him, you understand magic, you can help him, you're a fighter just like Eriol and can fight by his side and finally you're a Li and he's a recantation of Clow Reed so you are also of the same family which I think is important"

I was confused, "Same family?"

"Yes you're a Li and Clow Reed was a Li. Remember what you learnt in your history lesion on the Li Clan" Tomoyo remained me. Then her face dropped, "Oh I'm sorry Meiling I forgot you're going to marry Tyler when you are grown".

I had almost forgot about Tyler, I was going to marry him next year. What would Tomoyo say to that?

"Err……… we're getting married next year" I said quietly,

"What? But you just meet him!" Tomoyo shrieked, "This is crazy". The bell went before I could answer.

I nodded, Tyler was older then me too. Syaoran had been younger then me by a few months. Eriol? Oh, his birthday is 23rd of March, just a few days before me. Arise and Arise, they say that they match. But they don't, not me and Sakura and not me and Eriol we hate each other. I know that.

After school I was leaving the classroom when four-eyes ran after me and stopped me in the corridor.

"Last time this happened you saved me, you're now attacking me?" I said in a clever voice.

I could see he didn't think much of what I said, and once again I felt pushing against me. Like before I tried to kick him off me since it's what I'm known for. I tried but something was holding me in place.

"Your using magic, you're being un-fair!" I cried to him, "Please let me go, I need to meet Tyler".

"Who's Tyler?" Eriol asked moving away from me.

"My fiancée, I met him last night when my mama came here," I told him, trying not to say too much.

"You're mother! Well she hasn't hurt you has she?" Eriol said in a worried way.

"I'm not stupid or dense like some, and I know you care nothing for me or what happens to me" I said, and I tried to push again but the magic kept me back. "You looser let me go", I snapped looking into his cruel grey eyes. I didn't know what to do.

"Tyler's your fiancée? Chosen for you, nice?" he said reading my mind. I nodded and then when I looked at him again his eyes seemed to cloud over like a storm was about to open, drenching the village below with rain.

I could stand it anymore, magic or no I had to get away from him. I started to pull my body towards his to push him off. Eriol tried to shove me back but I still pushed towards him. My breasts started to ace and my heart was leaping out of my rib cage. Eriol's eyes looked shocked when, finally…

I shoved him of me and without thinking, dashed away. Eriol got up and then yelled to me, "Do you love him?"

What could I say? No, which is the truth. I just replied-

"I only met him a few hours ago"

Eriol looked at me and said, "You don't do you, maybe you will in time. But until that happens there is someone who I know"

I didn't understand and I still don't, "What rubbish are you talking now?" I asked with a cry.

"There is someone I know, who loves you" and when he said this Iran.

Is this true, does someone love me?

Love Meiling