Chapter XV - Sorrow
The loss of memory was his first sign. The fact that Ellie wasn't in the room was certainly the second.
Something was terribly wrong.
Remus had been sleeping by the window and when he woke up he noticed there was some purple powder on the edge of the window. But Ellie's absence and his lack of memory drove everything else out of his mind. Especially because all he was feeling reminded him of when he transformed into a dangerous wolf.
Scared by the mere thought, Remus ran to the door and found it locked. His wand was nowhere to be seen. Disappearing, he apparated on the living room and... there she was. Lying on the floor, robes torned, hands stained in blood. One arm was stretched out of the sleeve, severely injured, and her face was not visible under her hair. He just stood there for a moment, unable to move. She seemed motionless... and he was filled with a panic he had never felt in his life.
Slowly he moved towards her. "Please don't be dead... please don't be dead" was his only and lonely thought. He took longer to reach her body than was needed, for every moment seemed to delay the knowledge of her death. Every moment was a moment of hope. And he didn't want to let go of that hope... not yet. Finally he kneeled on the ground. Unable to touch her skin right away, he noticed that she was still breathing. Only just. But breathing. That fact seemed to have awaken him. She gave another small breath and he breathed again as well. Oh, relief like none ever. She was still alive!
And suddenly he realized he had to be quick.
He turned her facing up. Her body was terribly cold and her face was hardly visible under all the dried blood and tangled hair. He wanted to take her to bed but wasn't sure anything was broken. And most of all, he didn't know what to do.
Should he let her stay like this? Should he risk taking her to the bed? Should he warm her up? Questions and doubt burst inside him, battling and urging him to act but keeping him from making a decision. If only he knew which potion should he use...
And it stroke him: "I would trust him with my life".
He reached for his suitcase, took a very old piece of parchment from it and pocketed it. He gave a last glance at Ellie's body and desapparated.
***
He apparated in Hogsmeade. He thought about going through the Shrieking Shack, but it would take him longer to reach Hogwarts than... by broomstick. There was one stationed just outside the post office. It seemed quite alone and arranged by fate.
Next moment he was flying to Hogwarts' grounds as fast as he could. The wind rushing in his hair made him feel he was finally doing something and that there was hope. He landed right in front of Hogwarts' front doors and entered, taking the parchment out of his robes and pointing his wand at it.
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good" these words seemed so wrong in face of all that had happened. Instantly, lines and dots appeared on the piece of parchment and he quickly tried to find the dot labeled "Severus Snape".
He found him in a dungeon near the Entrance Hall. Sprinting down the staircase, he reached the dungeon door, feeling time was running out.
"Mischief managed" he said, and he entered the dungeon as soon as he saw the lines disappearing.
Snape was sitting at a desk, surrounded by glass jars with disgusting things suspended, and he immediately looked at him, astounded.
"What are you doing here?" he asked at once, and frowning slightly dangerously "Where is Ellie?"
Remus was paler than usual. "She needs your help."
"What have you done to her?" he asked getting up.
"We must hurry to her house."
Snape didn't say another word. He guided Remus through corridors that eventually ended at a door. The Forbidden Forest lay ahead and Snape entered, Remus at his heels. They spotted a couple of thestrals, black winged horses with a very reptile look, and Snape quickly got to the back of one of them. Remus followed him.
"As soon as we are out of Hogwarts grounds, Desapparate and Apparate by her house." said Snape while they lifted off ground.
Less than two minutes had passed on the air when Snape Desapparated from his thestral's back. Remus followed him.
He apparated at the kitchen (certainly disoriented by the speed) and entered the living room, where Snape was already attending to Ellie. He was kneeled by her side, looking at her, shaking slightly. He looked at Remus dangerously but didn't say a word. Gently, he took her in his arms and led the way to her room, laying her on the bed. There was a very hurt and sorrow look in him and Remus never though Snape could take someone as gently in his arms. He was looking miserably at her, then looked at Lupin again and finally spoke.
"Have you given her any potion so far?"
Remus shook his head.
"Was it ..." Snape found it hard to say. He took a deep breath and said "Was it the full moon?"
Remus nodded slowly, unable to speak.
Snape was looking murderous. And sad.
"Can you tell me from which cauldron you drank last time... when it worked?"
Remus quickly got up and, after taking a careful look at all the cauldrons in the lab, he finally chose one that still had a bit of potion. Snape, however, was looking at another one. He was carefully reading the list of ingredients under it and said "Was this the one you've been drinking?" Remus looked at it and nodded. It was looking very dark, unlike all the others.
"This was ruined" said Snape. "This was what went wrong."
And Snape immediately began to work, looking for ingredients and cleaned cauldrons. Remus let him work and got back to the bedroom, seating next to Ellie for the almost three hours Snape took to return.
He entered the room, Remus quickly got up and Snape took a potion to her lips. She was breathing slowly, looking pale and cold. She didn't drink, but Snape spilled it on her open mouth just the same.
She didn't seem to react. Neither did Snape. He was looking at her, stone cold. Remus left the room, feeling guiltier than ever. He couldn't stand being in the same room as Ellie. Now that he had gone for help, he felt he had done all he could and that felling of impotence drained him of all forces. He kept pacing around the room. What if she... He couldn't even think about it! It seemed that if he didn't think it wouldn't happen.
He couldn't help thinking, though, that the last thing he remembered was asking her to marry him. He seated on the floor and, for the first time in a long time, he just cried.
The loss of memory was his first sign. The fact that Ellie wasn't in the room was certainly the second.
Something was terribly wrong.
Remus had been sleeping by the window and when he woke up he noticed there was some purple powder on the edge of the window. But Ellie's absence and his lack of memory drove everything else out of his mind. Especially because all he was feeling reminded him of when he transformed into a dangerous wolf.
Scared by the mere thought, Remus ran to the door and found it locked. His wand was nowhere to be seen. Disappearing, he apparated on the living room and... there she was. Lying on the floor, robes torned, hands stained in blood. One arm was stretched out of the sleeve, severely injured, and her face was not visible under her hair. He just stood there for a moment, unable to move. She seemed motionless... and he was filled with a panic he had never felt in his life.
Slowly he moved towards her. "Please don't be dead... please don't be dead" was his only and lonely thought. He took longer to reach her body than was needed, for every moment seemed to delay the knowledge of her death. Every moment was a moment of hope. And he didn't want to let go of that hope... not yet. Finally he kneeled on the ground. Unable to touch her skin right away, he noticed that she was still breathing. Only just. But breathing. That fact seemed to have awaken him. She gave another small breath and he breathed again as well. Oh, relief like none ever. She was still alive!
And suddenly he realized he had to be quick.
He turned her facing up. Her body was terribly cold and her face was hardly visible under all the dried blood and tangled hair. He wanted to take her to bed but wasn't sure anything was broken. And most of all, he didn't know what to do.
Should he let her stay like this? Should he risk taking her to the bed? Should he warm her up? Questions and doubt burst inside him, battling and urging him to act but keeping him from making a decision. If only he knew which potion should he use...
And it stroke him: "I would trust him with my life".
He reached for his suitcase, took a very old piece of parchment from it and pocketed it. He gave a last glance at Ellie's body and desapparated.
***
He apparated in Hogsmeade. He thought about going through the Shrieking Shack, but it would take him longer to reach Hogwarts than... by broomstick. There was one stationed just outside the post office. It seemed quite alone and arranged by fate.
Next moment he was flying to Hogwarts' grounds as fast as he could. The wind rushing in his hair made him feel he was finally doing something and that there was hope. He landed right in front of Hogwarts' front doors and entered, taking the parchment out of his robes and pointing his wand at it.
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good" these words seemed so wrong in face of all that had happened. Instantly, lines and dots appeared on the piece of parchment and he quickly tried to find the dot labeled "Severus Snape".
He found him in a dungeon near the Entrance Hall. Sprinting down the staircase, he reached the dungeon door, feeling time was running out.
"Mischief managed" he said, and he entered the dungeon as soon as he saw the lines disappearing.
Snape was sitting at a desk, surrounded by glass jars with disgusting things suspended, and he immediately looked at him, astounded.
"What are you doing here?" he asked at once, and frowning slightly dangerously "Where is Ellie?"
Remus was paler than usual. "She needs your help."
"What have you done to her?" he asked getting up.
"We must hurry to her house."
Snape didn't say another word. He guided Remus through corridors that eventually ended at a door. The Forbidden Forest lay ahead and Snape entered, Remus at his heels. They spotted a couple of thestrals, black winged horses with a very reptile look, and Snape quickly got to the back of one of them. Remus followed him.
"As soon as we are out of Hogwarts grounds, Desapparate and Apparate by her house." said Snape while they lifted off ground.
Less than two minutes had passed on the air when Snape Desapparated from his thestral's back. Remus followed him.
He apparated at the kitchen (certainly disoriented by the speed) and entered the living room, where Snape was already attending to Ellie. He was kneeled by her side, looking at her, shaking slightly. He looked at Remus dangerously but didn't say a word. Gently, he took her in his arms and led the way to her room, laying her on the bed. There was a very hurt and sorrow look in him and Remus never though Snape could take someone as gently in his arms. He was looking miserably at her, then looked at Lupin again and finally spoke.
"Have you given her any potion so far?"
Remus shook his head.
"Was it ..." Snape found it hard to say. He took a deep breath and said "Was it the full moon?"
Remus nodded slowly, unable to speak.
Snape was looking murderous. And sad.
"Can you tell me from which cauldron you drank last time... when it worked?"
Remus quickly got up and, after taking a careful look at all the cauldrons in the lab, he finally chose one that still had a bit of potion. Snape, however, was looking at another one. He was carefully reading the list of ingredients under it and said "Was this the one you've been drinking?" Remus looked at it and nodded. It was looking very dark, unlike all the others.
"This was ruined" said Snape. "This was what went wrong."
And Snape immediately began to work, looking for ingredients and cleaned cauldrons. Remus let him work and got back to the bedroom, seating next to Ellie for the almost three hours Snape took to return.
He entered the room, Remus quickly got up and Snape took a potion to her lips. She was breathing slowly, looking pale and cold. She didn't drink, but Snape spilled it on her open mouth just the same.
She didn't seem to react. Neither did Snape. He was looking at her, stone cold. Remus left the room, feeling guiltier than ever. He couldn't stand being in the same room as Ellie. Now that he had gone for help, he felt he had done all he could and that felling of impotence drained him of all forces. He kept pacing around the room. What if she... He couldn't even think about it! It seemed that if he didn't think it wouldn't happen.
He couldn't help thinking, though, that the last thing he remembered was asking her to marry him. He seated on the floor and, for the first time in a long time, he just cried.