Chapter XVIII - Devotion
The big bright full moon was casting its light all over the smooth surface of the lake. It was shinning so intensely it seemed no one could escape its power. The stars were cast to oblivion by its brightness... and her tears were gleaming like little drops of moonlight.
Her watering eyes reflected the big orb in the sky, while her naked body seemed paler and bluer by the night light. She was standing by the lake, watching and dreaming. Far away, a wolf was howling. Around her there was nothing but the lake and the forest by her side. No man, no animal, no movement. Not even the leaves of nearest trees were moving.
And then, out of the shadows of the forest, a man appeared. He was walking slowly towards her. As he came closer she recognized him.
"Remus..."
He walked by her, with a fixed expression, not looking at her and went to the lake. She followed him. He entered the lake, still transfixed as if hypnotized, and was waste in the water when she decided to go after him.
"Remus! Remus!" she called.
But he didn't turn. He was going more and more deeply into the water of the lake. "Nooo!" a voice cried after her.
She turned to see Severus. The 20 years-old Severus of her past.
"I won't let you!!" And he cried some sort of spell, pointing his wand at the water. The water drained from the lake and she noticed Remus was visible again, still walking, now on the mud, still going further. She somehow felt an urge to follow him, and buried herself deeper and deeper.
Then she felt someone grabbing her arm. Deepening in mud as well was Severus, now holding her. "I won't let you go!" he said severely. "Come with me."
"I can't." she said at last. "The moon is calling me."
"Calling you to your doom!" he said angrily. "I told you! I won't let you go!"
"The moon is calling me..."
"I am calling you!"
She looked back. Remus was almost covered in mud. "Remus..." she said sweetly. "Don't leave me. The moon is calling us, Severus" she said, freeing her arm gently. "There is nothing you can do."
She turned to the place where Remus had gone.
"I know you want to be with him" Severus said bitterly. She turned to him again. "But he doesn't want you to go. I don't want you to go. And I'm going to stop you, even if I have to go in for you!"
And he grabbed her by the arm again, pulling her out of the mud. As he pulled, he sank more and more in the mud, while she was being brought up. He gave a final pull and she found herself outside the mud, walking over it like if it were solid ground. But Severus, though sinking, was smiling.
"I will never let you go!"
And he sank completely... disappearing.
"Ellie!" a man's voice called.
She turned and saw Remus, running from the forest. He came closer to her. "Ellie!" and gave her a huge hug. And only then did she seem to awaken. She understood Remus of the lake was not the real Remus but an image death had taken to lure her. She also realized Severus had just given his life to save hers. Dizzy, she fell into Remus arms, crying.
"No, no, no..." she cried under her breath. "No! NO! NOOOO!!"
***
"Severus..."
Severus turned to face her. He was looking her very closely. Had he imagined it?
"Severus..." she called again, in a whisper.
He ran to her and placed her hand in his. "Ellie, I'm here." She was shaking her head as if trying to release herself from some bad dream. She held his hand in a tight grip and then stood up suddenly, opening her eyes, catching for breath. Then she coughed as if she had choked in the urge of breathing, and kept coughing for a while.
Remus entered the room, running. He had been alerted by the noise.
"Ellie!"
There was a red thing, like blood, staining the sheets while she coughed.
"Severus" Remus asked urgently "What's happening?"
"She's coming back to us" he said, still serious, not letting go of her hand.
Ellie finally stopped coughing and fell in the pillow again, still holding Severus' hand. He was looking at the sheets. "Is it blood?" asked Remus. Severus wasn't sure. "Go to the lab and get me a bit of that green potion."
Remus came back as quickly as he could. Severus checked it was what he'd asked and gave her to drink. This time, she drank it herself, in silence, and opened her eyes again after she'd finished.
"Severus..." she said weakly.
"How are you feeling?" Severus asked. But she never answered. She lifted herself from bed and hugged him.
"Sevy" she cried "I thought you were dead..." She was still crying in his shoulder. He held her tightly, like he used to a long time ago, and said in a sweet voice Remus didn't recognize.
"It's alright, Ellie. I'm here. I won't leave you." He kept panting her hair, gently. Then she opened her eyes and looked around. "Where's Remus?" Severus pointed to the door. When she saw him, she stretched out her hand to him.
"Remus..."
But he didn't take it at once. He was still feeling guilty for all that had happened. Ellie seemed to have noticed it, because she said "I must have mixed the potions. Forgive me."
He kneeled at her side, and kissed her hand, softly. "Ellie, we were so worried! Please forgive me!"
Severus slowly let go of her, while Remus kept kissing her hand. He exited the room, leaving the two love birds be.
Entering the lab, he looked at the potion he had been giving her. He was now Secret Keeper for both of them. For the potion and for Lupin. He had fooled the Ministry Agents once more. When they came for Remus, though he was shaking slightly, none of them could find him and eventually they left, keeping their promise to return.
And now Remus was the one who was hearing the words "I love you" from Ellie's lips. He always knew that was how it was going to be. So, why was he still going along? Why did he keep helping?
His thoughts answered him in no time "Because of her smile." All his happy memories seemed to include her somehow. And there was only one dark memory in which she was present.
He knew he had lost her a long time ago. He knew all he could do now was protect her from being hurt so badly again. He felt that being her guardian angel was a way to remedy their past. And he loved her. He loved her so deeply he would die for her, die before seeing her cry again. Even if she was crying for Lupin. Severus had realized these past few days that even though he hated Remus Lupin with all his heart, his love for Ellie was much stronger and the prospect of seeing her alive was worth every bit of sacrifice that he could devote her.
The big bright full moon was casting its light all over the smooth surface of the lake. It was shinning so intensely it seemed no one could escape its power. The stars were cast to oblivion by its brightness... and her tears were gleaming like little drops of moonlight.
Her watering eyes reflected the big orb in the sky, while her naked body seemed paler and bluer by the night light. She was standing by the lake, watching and dreaming. Far away, a wolf was howling. Around her there was nothing but the lake and the forest by her side. No man, no animal, no movement. Not even the leaves of nearest trees were moving.
And then, out of the shadows of the forest, a man appeared. He was walking slowly towards her. As he came closer she recognized him.
"Remus..."
He walked by her, with a fixed expression, not looking at her and went to the lake. She followed him. He entered the lake, still transfixed as if hypnotized, and was waste in the water when she decided to go after him.
"Remus! Remus!" she called.
But he didn't turn. He was going more and more deeply into the water of the lake. "Nooo!" a voice cried after her.
She turned to see Severus. The 20 years-old Severus of her past.
"I won't let you!!" And he cried some sort of spell, pointing his wand at the water. The water drained from the lake and she noticed Remus was visible again, still walking, now on the mud, still going further. She somehow felt an urge to follow him, and buried herself deeper and deeper.
Then she felt someone grabbing her arm. Deepening in mud as well was Severus, now holding her. "I won't let you go!" he said severely. "Come with me."
"I can't." she said at last. "The moon is calling me."
"Calling you to your doom!" he said angrily. "I told you! I won't let you go!"
"The moon is calling me..."
"I am calling you!"
She looked back. Remus was almost covered in mud. "Remus..." she said sweetly. "Don't leave me. The moon is calling us, Severus" she said, freeing her arm gently. "There is nothing you can do."
She turned to the place where Remus had gone.
"I know you want to be with him" Severus said bitterly. She turned to him again. "But he doesn't want you to go. I don't want you to go. And I'm going to stop you, even if I have to go in for you!"
And he grabbed her by the arm again, pulling her out of the mud. As he pulled, he sank more and more in the mud, while she was being brought up. He gave a final pull and she found herself outside the mud, walking over it like if it were solid ground. But Severus, though sinking, was smiling.
"I will never let you go!"
And he sank completely... disappearing.
"Ellie!" a man's voice called.
She turned and saw Remus, running from the forest. He came closer to her. "Ellie!" and gave her a huge hug. And only then did she seem to awaken. She understood Remus of the lake was not the real Remus but an image death had taken to lure her. She also realized Severus had just given his life to save hers. Dizzy, she fell into Remus arms, crying.
"No, no, no..." she cried under her breath. "No! NO! NOOOO!!"
***
"Severus..."
Severus turned to face her. He was looking her very closely. Had he imagined it?
"Severus..." she called again, in a whisper.
He ran to her and placed her hand in his. "Ellie, I'm here." She was shaking her head as if trying to release herself from some bad dream. She held his hand in a tight grip and then stood up suddenly, opening her eyes, catching for breath. Then she coughed as if she had choked in the urge of breathing, and kept coughing for a while.
Remus entered the room, running. He had been alerted by the noise.
"Ellie!"
There was a red thing, like blood, staining the sheets while she coughed.
"Severus" Remus asked urgently "What's happening?"
"She's coming back to us" he said, still serious, not letting go of her hand.
Ellie finally stopped coughing and fell in the pillow again, still holding Severus' hand. He was looking at the sheets. "Is it blood?" asked Remus. Severus wasn't sure. "Go to the lab and get me a bit of that green potion."
Remus came back as quickly as he could. Severus checked it was what he'd asked and gave her to drink. This time, she drank it herself, in silence, and opened her eyes again after she'd finished.
"Severus..." she said weakly.
"How are you feeling?" Severus asked. But she never answered. She lifted herself from bed and hugged him.
"Sevy" she cried "I thought you were dead..." She was still crying in his shoulder. He held her tightly, like he used to a long time ago, and said in a sweet voice Remus didn't recognize.
"It's alright, Ellie. I'm here. I won't leave you." He kept panting her hair, gently. Then she opened her eyes and looked around. "Where's Remus?" Severus pointed to the door. When she saw him, she stretched out her hand to him.
"Remus..."
But he didn't take it at once. He was still feeling guilty for all that had happened. Ellie seemed to have noticed it, because she said "I must have mixed the potions. Forgive me."
He kneeled at her side, and kissed her hand, softly. "Ellie, we were so worried! Please forgive me!"
Severus slowly let go of her, while Remus kept kissing her hand. He exited the room, leaving the two love birds be.
Entering the lab, he looked at the potion he had been giving her. He was now Secret Keeper for both of them. For the potion and for Lupin. He had fooled the Ministry Agents once more. When they came for Remus, though he was shaking slightly, none of them could find him and eventually they left, keeping their promise to return.
And now Remus was the one who was hearing the words "I love you" from Ellie's lips. He always knew that was how it was going to be. So, why was he still going along? Why did he keep helping?
His thoughts answered him in no time "Because of her smile." All his happy memories seemed to include her somehow. And there was only one dark memory in which she was present.
He knew he had lost her a long time ago. He knew all he could do now was protect her from being hurt so badly again. He felt that being her guardian angel was a way to remedy their past. And he loved her. He loved her so deeply he would die for her, die before seeing her cry again. Even if she was crying for Lupin. Severus had realized these past few days that even though he hated Remus Lupin with all his heart, his love for Ellie was much stronger and the prospect of seeing her alive was worth every bit of sacrifice that he could devote her.