Strippers, Ale, and Much More
Disclaimer: J.R.R. Tolkein owns all of this stuff. I do not get paid for doing this; I do this for fun. The name of the bar comes from the game Morrowind.
Legolas sits with his hands folded on the table and his head resting on them.
"I'll have a pint, nice sir."
Legolas heard the familiar voice a couple tables behind him. He did not want to speak with him, but it was better than being alone with a drunk and unconscious Aragorn. He gets up and moves over to the table, taking the mug of ale he ordered a minute ago.
"Hello Gimli", the Elf greets the dwarf.
"Greetings, Elf", he replies. "Come sit." Legolas takes a seat across from Gimli and sets down his mug.
"So, what are you doing here", Gimli inquires.
"Bachelor party for Aragorn."
"So the lad finally did it, eh. Who's the lucky woman?"
"Arwen."
Gimli laughs, but when he sees that Legolas is serious he stops. "You are serious?"
"Yes, I guess so", Legolas adds, "why don't you join us at our table?" he points back towards Aragorn's and his table.
"Sure, I will have to wait for the barkeep to came back with my mug."
When the barkeep returns with Gimli's ale, the two go back to Legolas's table. Legolas sits back down in his spot and Gimli sits down on the other side.
"So, where is he", Gimli asks.
"Right down there", Legolas points at Aragorn's sleeping form on the floor. Gimli looks down at the body and nods.
"We need to celebrate", Gimli says.
"We are", Legolas replies blandly while taking a sip of his ale.
"No I mean really celebrate, with ale strong enough to down an olephant and strippers..."
Legolas spits out his ale all over Gimli's face at the thought of Dwarfish strippers. The Dwarf mops up the liquid with his beard.
"No not Dwarfish strippers", shakes his head, "Human striper of course."
"Oh, well that sounds fine then, but what should we do about him", he looks over at Aragorn.
Gimli thinks for a moment then decides to pour the rest of his ale onto Aragorn's face. He sits up quickly and gasps for air, not looking too far from a wet cat.
"Come on Human, we're off to see some strippers", Gimli tells him.
After a little walk a few minutes they come to a little place called "House of Earthly Delights" and enter the place. They walk up to the front desk and a in a cheap suit stands behind it.
"What can I help you sirs with today", the man puts on a fake smile as he asks the three new visitors.
"Mi friend he is getting married and we want to celebrate", Gimli tells the man.
"We have just what you need right here. Follow me."
The man steps out from behind the desk and walks down a hallway. Along the way Aragorn bumps into the walls numerous times and every so often would walk into other rooms. He did not know what that naked man in the room was going to the goat, and he did not want to know. They finally reach the end of the hall where there is a black curtain. The man pulls back the curtain and lets the three in to the dark room behind it.
"Enjoy", the man tells the three as they walk in.
There is a row of wooden chairs in front of them and they each take a seat. They sit there for a while before they hear the squeak of wheels to their left. They turn their heads to see what the noise was. They see two men wheel in a cardboard cake with four wheels on the bottom. They place it a dozen feet from the three men and walk off. The three of them wait to see what will happen next.
A man in an expensive, yet odd suit and bow tie walks out from behind the curtains behind the fake cake. He has a huge grin plastered on his face and moves in front of the cake.
"Okay, so how is everyone today?"
The three of them just sit and stare at the man in front of them. The only sound is the hum of a dozen crickets chirping.
"Well, anyhoo, for your enjoyment we have a few women here to entertain you tonight. But first, don't let her name fool you, because she is not one: Angel."
The announcer steps from in front of the cake and stands off to the side. After waiting for a while, and no one comes out of the cake the man steps in front of the cake and clears his throat loudly.
"And introducing Angel", the announcer says again, louder this time. Still no one comes out of the cake. He goes over to the cake, opens up the top, and peers in. he closes it and motions for one of the men who wheeled the cake in to come to him. The two converse for a little while, but Legolas can only make out bits of the conversation.
"We have a problem… what should we do now… told you we should have cut air holes into it, but no…"
The announcer then motions for the other man who wheeled the cake in to come over. The two who wheeled the cake in now wheel it back out.
"Sorry for the inconvenience folks, but we are experiencing some technical difficulties, we'll get back to you shortly."
TBC…
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