Fat Camp
Narrator: Hi FF Fans! I guess you got a hint for what the story will be
today by the title.
Neighborhood Retard: DOING DOING!
Narrator: Um. Yeah, anyway, today one of the cast members will be sent
to...
Neighborhood Retard: DOING?
Narrator: NO! Fat Camp!
Neighborhood Retard: DOING...
Narrator: Well, moving on, let's see who it will be...
(At Tifa's Bar)
Barret: Pass me another brewski Tifa...
Tifa: ;)
Barret: No, not your boob, a brewski, beer, not boob...
Tifa: ?
Cloud: Hey guys!
Cid: Great, the *)%*$ leader is here!
Cloud: And guess what I brought?
Tifa: Condoms?
Everyone: ?????
RedXIII: Hey, I thought we got her spayed...
Cloud: um. anyway, I got some brochures.
Barret: Does it involve.
Cloud: NO!
Barret: ?
(to not give away the persons name [-----------------])
Tifa: Is it for the Fat camp ---------- was supposed to go to?
Barret: Yeah, ------------ was complaining that stupid, uh...
(DON'T GIVE IT AWAY)
Barret: Stupid.. Thing?
(there you go.)
Cloud: Well ---------- should settle up about it, he HAS to go!
Cait Sith: Hey everyone, what you all talkin' bout?
(By now you should figure out who it is, if not, you must be slapped with a
trout!)
Cloud: CAIT, TIME TO GO TO FAT CAMP!!!!
Cait Sith: Are you (*_%(%( kidding me?
Cloud: Nope..
Tifa: I swear on my truck-sized boobs!
Barret: *thoughts* ( . ) ( . ) *thoughts*
Tifa: Just stop staring and screw me upstairs..
Barret: OH YEAH!
Cloud: Ok, besides that very odd and confusing event, Cait, you are a fat
ass.
Cait Sith: It's the bottom half retard.
Cloud: That's beside the point, you have to go to camp to work on your
weight.
Cait Sith: It's a friggin doll genius!
Cloud: I know your in denial, but we are here to save you.
Cait Sith: That's it, im out of here.
Cloud: HOLD HIM DOWN!
Cid: I got his (*&%$ tows.
Yuffie: WTF are you guys doing?
Cait Sith: HELP ME, THOSE MOTHER @#)#)# ARE CRAZY!
Cloud: We are driving him to fat camp.
Yuffie: Count me in.
Cloud: Just call Aeris and Vincent.
Yuffie: Sure..
(Swipe!)
Cloud: HEY! I SAY THAT! GIVE ME THE ^*(^(_&% MATERIA BACK!
Yuffie: ok, ok, Mr. Grumpy.
Cait Sith: You will never get away with this; I'm calling my lawyer,
A RESTRAINING ORDER IS IN THE ESSENCE!
Cloud: Yeah yeah, that's what they all say!
Cid: They (%(( do?
Cloud: DUH!
Yuffie: Here they are!
Aeris: Ready, packed the healthy nutrition bars and the tar.
Cait Sith: NOT THE TAR!!!!
Vincent: .........
Cait Sith: NOT THE .......!
Cloud: OH YES!
(Approaching the Gate for the fat camp)
Gate Keeper: To get through you must find my 6 mysterial stone from
the volcano of .
Cloud: Yeah, Yeah, skip to the point. 50 gil?
Gate Keeper: DONE!
Narrator: Traveling through the campus, they see the horrible
torture.
Cait Sith: TAR!!!!
Cloud: Only alittle.
Cait Sith: WORK!!!!
Cloud: Just alittle picking with the pick ax.
Cait Sith: RICHARD SIMMONS!!!
Cloud: AHHH!
(Swerve Swerve)
Cloud: NO SCARY THINGS WHILE IM DRIVING!
Cait Sith: .... Arg .....
Aeris: Ok, we are here!
Councilor: OK TEAM, out of the car and give me 2394!
Yuffie: Talk about a random number!
Councilor: That's 2578 for you young lady!
Yuffie: -=mumble mutter=-
Cid: WAIT A *&&*%^* SECOND! I'M NOT DOING A SINGLE...
Counceler: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cid: .....................
Vincent: ......?
Cid: ?
Cloud: That's unfair, we only came to bring this guy..
Councilor: -=look look=- looks pretty skinny to me
Cloud: WHA?
Cait Sith: Ha ha! Suckers!
Councilor: ON THE DOUBLE FATTY'S, ON THE DOUBLE!
(After 48 hours of camp)
Cloud: Yuffie, stop trying to commit suicide with the hanger, it
won't work..
Yuffie: MUST. PENETRATE.. HEART..
Aeris: This is horrible.. I feel so frail...
Cloud: ?
Aeris: I can't even do that. too.. Tired..
Cloud: NO! we will die here, we must come up with a plan..
Yuffie: Cid?
Cid: I don't *&)*^$ know, they took away my ((&%&% cigarettes..
Cloud: Is that a tear.
Cid: NO! I'M (*^*(^&^ CHOCKIN BECAUSE OF ALL THIS CLEAN AIR!
Cloud: oh.
Yuffie: Where did they put Cait?
Cloud: He is in the councilor's office sucking up to her and getting
more food..
Aeris: I GOT AN IDEA!
Cloud: WHAT!
Aeris: wait, oh darn, forgot.
Cloud: .....
Aeris: OH, WAIT, It's back!
Vincent: ........?
Aeris: See Vincent, the only way to get out of here Is to seduce the
councilor..
Vincent: ..........!
Aeris: RIGHT! We put a little Gin in her coke and play along until
she gets wasted, then we leave.
Cloud: But what about the guard towers and the machine guns..
Aeris: True.
Cloud: And the gates..
Aeris: Right.
Cloud: And all the fat annoying kids who trail behind us and are too
stupid to realize that they will get us caught!
Aeris: ENOUGH!
Vincent: ...........
Aeris: SHEOT VINCENT! YOUR RIGHT!
Cid: So all we have to do is steal the (&^&(%)& uniforms from the
mother *&^*() and sneak through the front gate.
Yuffie: Sounds good to me!
Cloud: We will do it at the stroke of midnight..
(DING!)
Cloud: MOVE OUT!
Narrator: So they sneaked out of the bunkers creeping through the
infrared beams and mines.
Cid: AHH ()()&)(&*, stepped in shit..
Cloud: SHHHHH!
Narrator: Then, they went to the Laundromats and stole some councilor
outfits.
Cid: This is a little tight around the ^(^(_(&*) crotch.
Cloud: wonder why..
Narrator: Lastly, the checked up on the Head councilor to find her
sleeping while Cait Sith was watching tv...
Cait Sith: Stupid Raiders -=munch munch=- lost to the Texans -=munch
munch=- Ha!
Cloud: Lets move out..
Narrator: As they approached the gate, the gatekeeper halted them.
Gate Keeper: Trade me 5 stones of tyrain..
Cloud: 100 gil.
Gate Keeper: SOLD!
Aeris: I think Cait saw us.
(Running to open the door)
Cait Sith: GUARDS! SEIZE THEM!!!!!
Cloud: RUN!!!
Narrator: The ran, and they ran, and they ran some more, until they
ran a full meter.
Cid: TOO -=hack=- *(^*^* -=cough=- TIRED -=cough wheez=-
Cloud: There is no hope..
(VROOOOOM!)
Cloud: My truck!
Yuffie: While you retards where running into nowhere, I went to the
parking lot and got the truck.
Cloud: WHY THE HELL DID IT TAKE YOU SO LONG?
Yuffie: I took the libery of warming it up..
Cloud: Aye!
Aeris: No time to talk, get in everyone!
Vincent: ......!
Aeris: You said it Vincent!
Vincent: ........?
Aeris: How am I suppose to know what you said?
Narrator: So they blasted out of there, and just in the nick of
time, RICHARD SIMMONS WOKE UP!
Cait Sith: o no! The got away councilor dearest..
Councilor: We lost another one..
Cait Sith: Let's go get the..
Councilor: Hey, wait a sec. Someone put on alittle bit..
Cait Sith: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Narrator: I guess the moral for this story is, fat people should
live in fat camps... Merry Christmas everyone and a happy new
year!!!!
Narrator: Hi FF Fans! I guess you got a hint for what the story will be
today by the title.
Neighborhood Retard: DOING DOING!
Narrator: Um. Yeah, anyway, today one of the cast members will be sent
to...
Neighborhood Retard: DOING?
Narrator: NO! Fat Camp!
Neighborhood Retard: DOING...
Narrator: Well, moving on, let's see who it will be...
(At Tifa's Bar)
Barret: Pass me another brewski Tifa...
Tifa: ;)
Barret: No, not your boob, a brewski, beer, not boob...
Tifa: ?
Cloud: Hey guys!
Cid: Great, the *)%*$ leader is here!
Cloud: And guess what I brought?
Tifa: Condoms?
Everyone: ?????
RedXIII: Hey, I thought we got her spayed...
Cloud: um. anyway, I got some brochures.
Barret: Does it involve.
Cloud: NO!
Barret: ?
(to not give away the persons name [-----------------])
Tifa: Is it for the Fat camp ---------- was supposed to go to?
Barret: Yeah, ------------ was complaining that stupid, uh...
(DON'T GIVE IT AWAY)
Barret: Stupid.. Thing?
(there you go.)
Cloud: Well ---------- should settle up about it, he HAS to go!
Cait Sith: Hey everyone, what you all talkin' bout?
(By now you should figure out who it is, if not, you must be slapped with a
trout!)
Cloud: CAIT, TIME TO GO TO FAT CAMP!!!!
Cait Sith: Are you (*_%(%( kidding me?
Cloud: Nope..
Tifa: I swear on my truck-sized boobs!
Barret: *thoughts* ( . ) ( . ) *thoughts*
Tifa: Just stop staring and screw me upstairs..
Barret: OH YEAH!
Cloud: Ok, besides that very odd and confusing event, Cait, you are a fat
ass.
Cait Sith: It's the bottom half retard.
Cloud: That's beside the point, you have to go to camp to work on your
weight.
Cait Sith: It's a friggin doll genius!
Cloud: I know your in denial, but we are here to save you.
Cait Sith: That's it, im out of here.
Cloud: HOLD HIM DOWN!
Cid: I got his (*&%$ tows.
Yuffie: WTF are you guys doing?
Cait Sith: HELP ME, THOSE MOTHER @#)#)# ARE CRAZY!
Cloud: We are driving him to fat camp.
Yuffie: Count me in.
Cloud: Just call Aeris and Vincent.
Yuffie: Sure..
(Swipe!)
Cloud: HEY! I SAY THAT! GIVE ME THE ^*(^(_&% MATERIA BACK!
Yuffie: ok, ok, Mr. Grumpy.
Cait Sith: You will never get away with this; I'm calling my lawyer,
A RESTRAINING ORDER IS IN THE ESSENCE!
Cloud: Yeah yeah, that's what they all say!
Cid: They (%(( do?
Cloud: DUH!
Yuffie: Here they are!
Aeris: Ready, packed the healthy nutrition bars and the tar.
Cait Sith: NOT THE TAR!!!!
Vincent: .........
Cait Sith: NOT THE .......!
Cloud: OH YES!
(Approaching the Gate for the fat camp)
Gate Keeper: To get through you must find my 6 mysterial stone from
the volcano of .
Cloud: Yeah, Yeah, skip to the point. 50 gil?
Gate Keeper: DONE!
Narrator: Traveling through the campus, they see the horrible
torture.
Cait Sith: TAR!!!!
Cloud: Only alittle.
Cait Sith: WORK!!!!
Cloud: Just alittle picking with the pick ax.
Cait Sith: RICHARD SIMMONS!!!
Cloud: AHHH!
(Swerve Swerve)
Cloud: NO SCARY THINGS WHILE IM DRIVING!
Cait Sith: .... Arg .....
Aeris: Ok, we are here!
Councilor: OK TEAM, out of the car and give me 2394!
Yuffie: Talk about a random number!
Councilor: That's 2578 for you young lady!
Yuffie: -=mumble mutter=-
Cid: WAIT A *&&*%^* SECOND! I'M NOT DOING A SINGLE...
Counceler: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cid: .....................
Vincent: ......?
Cid: ?
Cloud: That's unfair, we only came to bring this guy..
Councilor: -=look look=- looks pretty skinny to me
Cloud: WHA?
Cait Sith: Ha ha! Suckers!
Councilor: ON THE DOUBLE FATTY'S, ON THE DOUBLE!
(After 48 hours of camp)
Cloud: Yuffie, stop trying to commit suicide with the hanger, it
won't work..
Yuffie: MUST. PENETRATE.. HEART..
Aeris: This is horrible.. I feel so frail...
Cloud: ?
Aeris: I can't even do that. too.. Tired..
Cloud: NO! we will die here, we must come up with a plan..
Yuffie: Cid?
Cid: I don't *&)*^$ know, they took away my ((&%&% cigarettes..
Cloud: Is that a tear.
Cid: NO! I'M (*^*(^&^ CHOCKIN BECAUSE OF ALL THIS CLEAN AIR!
Cloud: oh.
Yuffie: Where did they put Cait?
Cloud: He is in the councilor's office sucking up to her and getting
more food..
Aeris: I GOT AN IDEA!
Cloud: WHAT!
Aeris: wait, oh darn, forgot.
Cloud: .....
Aeris: OH, WAIT, It's back!
Vincent: ........?
Aeris: See Vincent, the only way to get out of here Is to seduce the
councilor..
Vincent: ..........!
Aeris: RIGHT! We put a little Gin in her coke and play along until
she gets wasted, then we leave.
Cloud: But what about the guard towers and the machine guns..
Aeris: True.
Cloud: And the gates..
Aeris: Right.
Cloud: And all the fat annoying kids who trail behind us and are too
stupid to realize that they will get us caught!
Aeris: ENOUGH!
Vincent: ...........
Aeris: SHEOT VINCENT! YOUR RIGHT!
Cid: So all we have to do is steal the (&^&(%)& uniforms from the
mother *&^*() and sneak through the front gate.
Yuffie: Sounds good to me!
Cloud: We will do it at the stroke of midnight..
(DING!)
Cloud: MOVE OUT!
Narrator: So they sneaked out of the bunkers creeping through the
infrared beams and mines.
Cid: AHH ()()&)(&*, stepped in shit..
Cloud: SHHHHH!
Narrator: Then, they went to the Laundromats and stole some councilor
outfits.
Cid: This is a little tight around the ^(^(_(&*) crotch.
Cloud: wonder why..
Narrator: Lastly, the checked up on the Head councilor to find her
sleeping while Cait Sith was watching tv...
Cait Sith: Stupid Raiders -=munch munch=- lost to the Texans -=munch
munch=- Ha!
Cloud: Lets move out..
Narrator: As they approached the gate, the gatekeeper halted them.
Gate Keeper: Trade me 5 stones of tyrain..
Cloud: 100 gil.
Gate Keeper: SOLD!
Aeris: I think Cait saw us.
(Running to open the door)
Cait Sith: GUARDS! SEIZE THEM!!!!!
Cloud: RUN!!!
Narrator: The ran, and they ran, and they ran some more, until they
ran a full meter.
Cid: TOO -=hack=- *(^*^* -=cough=- TIRED -=cough wheez=-
Cloud: There is no hope..
(VROOOOOM!)
Cloud: My truck!
Yuffie: While you retards where running into nowhere, I went to the
parking lot and got the truck.
Cloud: WHY THE HELL DID IT TAKE YOU SO LONG?
Yuffie: I took the libery of warming it up..
Cloud: Aye!
Aeris: No time to talk, get in everyone!
Vincent: ......!
Aeris: You said it Vincent!
Vincent: ........?
Aeris: How am I suppose to know what you said?
Narrator: So they blasted out of there, and just in the nick of
time, RICHARD SIMMONS WOKE UP!
Cait Sith: o no! The got away councilor dearest..
Councilor: We lost another one..
Cait Sith: Let's go get the..
Councilor: Hey, wait a sec. Someone put on alittle bit..
Cait Sith: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Narrator: I guess the moral for this story is, fat people should
live in fat camps... Merry Christmas everyone and a happy new
year!!!!