~Always and Forever~
Disclaimer: Are you guy's sick of hearing from me yet? I know I am.
I was sitting on my bed, my favourite place to spend my time lately when I wasn't out with Ethan. I was finding more and more excuses to get out of hanging out with him. I felt bad for ditching him but what could I do? I wasn't very good company anyway. Not when the person I wanted to put his arms around me probably wished that I would fall off a very big cliff.
You wake up one day and everything changes
You cross a line and there's no turning back
You're caught between the love and the danger
It's hard to leave a heart so open up to that
I sat up on my bed listening intently, I'd never heard that song before but it sounded so familiar. It was summing up everything about my current situation. How I felt. Everything changing and not being able to go back. Caught between the love and the danger. In my case the love and the danger were pretty much the same thing.
You wish...Every time a star falls from the sky
You wish...That he'd feel the way you feel inside
You hope and you pray, keep it all locked away
As you see yourself lost in his kiss...You wish
I got up off my bed and walked to the window and looked out at the stars, watching a falling star and wishing that Gordo really didn't hate me. I almost wanted to pray like the song said. The part about being lost in his kiss. Well, I was pretty lost in Rome.
You think you know just how to read him
And then he throws you right off track
And all you know is how much you need him
Time will tell you where his heart is really at
I was sure that Gordo wouldn't ever want to talk to me again when he grabbed me and pulled me into that classroom, and told me what he knew. That was the moment that I discovered how I felt about him. If only he knew how I felt. But did I really want him to know? I think for the best that he shouldn't know but that doesn't mean that my feelings have changed, just because he doesn't know. He cares about me; he must if he bothered to talk to me. If he hated me, he wouldn't have bothered.
You wish...Every time a star falls from the sky
You wish...That he'd feel the way you feel inside
You hope and you pray, keep it all locked away
As you see yourself lost in his kiss...You wish
I grabbed Mr Snuggles who had been sitting innocently on my bed and threw him at the wall in frustration. It just wasn't fair. My life has lousy timing. For everything.
Late at night
You wonder what he's thinking of
It's killing you
and all that's true
Is you're falling deeper in love
I turned back to the window and sighed deeply. Everything just seemed so scrambled in my brain that I didn't have a clue where to start. Maybe I'm destined to a life of being miserable. I deserve it. If I hadn't treated my friends like that then it never would have happened, it's my entire fault. I wish I knew for sure what Gordo thought of me. Yeah, it's killing me. The more I think about him the more I fall for him. This isn't healthy for a person!
You wish...Everytime a star falls from the sky
You wish...That he'd feel the way you feel inside
You hope and you pray, keep it all locked away
As you see yourself lost in his kiss...You wish
Oh yeah. I wish all right. I wish.
***
"Now class, I want you to write a poem about anything that appeals to you. Anything at all and I want you to read it to the class. There is a box of Poetry books out the front; you may look at them for some ideas. You have ten minutes. You may begin."
Mrs. Jones our English teacher said. I liked her, she was nice and she was young. That was a good thing compared to the older teachers that we have at our school. She could relate to us on a more personal level. Unlike Dragon Dimitri in the English department for the Seniors. Urgh.
I pushed my chair back and stood up and headed towards the front of the classroom. I had just reached the box of books and wasn't really paying attention to what I was doing and I knocked hands with someone. I looked up to apologise and saw Gordo standing there. I felt my face heat up.
"Sorry." I mumbled.
"Not as sorry as I am." He muttered. I'm pretty sure that his comment had nothing to do with my hand brushing his. It had more to it than that. All of a sudden it made me angry.
"You know what, I'm not sorry. I hope I hurt you." I said. How lame. As if I would have hurt him with my hand. I had to suppress the urge to roll my eyes at myself. I grabbed a book and stalked back to my seat. I plopped back down again and exhaled.
Why did I just do that? I want to be friends with him again, not drive him even further away! I am so stupid sometimes. I slid down in my seat and opened my book up to the section on Friendship poems. I skimmed through them until coming across one that given any other time would have made me happy but right now it depressed me. But no one needed to know that. I decided that it was the one that I would base my poem on. I marked the page and pulled out a pen and wrote the first thing that came into my head about friendships. I looked at the end result and was pretty pleased with myself. Normally I don't write poetry but it was actually fun. I sat back and waited for everyone else to finish.
"Mr Craft, would you do the honour of going first with your Poem?" Mrs Jones asked kindly.
"Yeah sure. My Poem is called "My Girl" not the movie dudes, Ethan's poem." He said as he walked to the front of the class. I had a bad feeling about this.
"My Poem is written in Acoustic I mean, Acrostic form. Here goes.
M is for Mmm. Y is for Yeah!
G is for Gorgeous I is for Irresistible R is for Ravenous. L is for Lizzie!"
I nearly died on the spot. I had no idea that Ethan would do something like that! It was sweet in a way but incredibly embarrassing.
"Thank you Ethan. Since your Poem was about Miss McGuire, I suggest she go next. That alright Lizzie?" she asked smiling at me. No it wasn't all right but I couldn't exactly say that could I? I stood up and walked to the front of the class just as Ethan had done. He winked at me on the way and I smiled weakly back.
"My Poem is called 'True Friends'" I said, careful to avoid Gordo's eyes.
"True friends stand by each other, True friends help each other True friends are there for the Good times and the bad. No matter what, friends will Always be friends."
I stood nervously looking around and my eyes flicked automatically over to Gordo who was looking down at his desk. Thinking hard about something. I walked back to my desk slowly. Hoping that he now knew how I bad I felt about the way I had treated him and Miranda. I now realise what I had done wrong. I had ignored them in the Digital Bean. I can't believe I hadn't realised that's what it was. The Poem in the book had triggered memories that I had with my best friends and it had made me see what I had done wrong. I had treated them like no bodies.
I didn't deserve such great friends.
***
Ok. Of course the credit for the song used in this chapter goes to LaLaine seeing as it is her song. I just thought that it fit perfectly in here. I love this song. Wish her album were out here in Aussie.
Nesserz.
Disclaimer: Are you guy's sick of hearing from me yet? I know I am.
I was sitting on my bed, my favourite place to spend my time lately when I wasn't out with Ethan. I was finding more and more excuses to get out of hanging out with him. I felt bad for ditching him but what could I do? I wasn't very good company anyway. Not when the person I wanted to put his arms around me probably wished that I would fall off a very big cliff.
You wake up one day and everything changes
You cross a line and there's no turning back
You're caught between the love and the danger
It's hard to leave a heart so open up to that
I sat up on my bed listening intently, I'd never heard that song before but it sounded so familiar. It was summing up everything about my current situation. How I felt. Everything changing and not being able to go back. Caught between the love and the danger. In my case the love and the danger were pretty much the same thing.
You wish...Every time a star falls from the sky
You wish...That he'd feel the way you feel inside
You hope and you pray, keep it all locked away
As you see yourself lost in his kiss...You wish
I got up off my bed and walked to the window and looked out at the stars, watching a falling star and wishing that Gordo really didn't hate me. I almost wanted to pray like the song said. The part about being lost in his kiss. Well, I was pretty lost in Rome.
You think you know just how to read him
And then he throws you right off track
And all you know is how much you need him
Time will tell you where his heart is really at
I was sure that Gordo wouldn't ever want to talk to me again when he grabbed me and pulled me into that classroom, and told me what he knew. That was the moment that I discovered how I felt about him. If only he knew how I felt. But did I really want him to know? I think for the best that he shouldn't know but that doesn't mean that my feelings have changed, just because he doesn't know. He cares about me; he must if he bothered to talk to me. If he hated me, he wouldn't have bothered.
You wish...Every time a star falls from the sky
You wish...That he'd feel the way you feel inside
You hope and you pray, keep it all locked away
As you see yourself lost in his kiss...You wish
I grabbed Mr Snuggles who had been sitting innocently on my bed and threw him at the wall in frustration. It just wasn't fair. My life has lousy timing. For everything.
Late at night
You wonder what he's thinking of
It's killing you
and all that's true
Is you're falling deeper in love
I turned back to the window and sighed deeply. Everything just seemed so scrambled in my brain that I didn't have a clue where to start. Maybe I'm destined to a life of being miserable. I deserve it. If I hadn't treated my friends like that then it never would have happened, it's my entire fault. I wish I knew for sure what Gordo thought of me. Yeah, it's killing me. The more I think about him the more I fall for him. This isn't healthy for a person!
You wish...Everytime a star falls from the sky
You wish...That he'd feel the way you feel inside
You hope and you pray, keep it all locked away
As you see yourself lost in his kiss...You wish
Oh yeah. I wish all right. I wish.
***
"Now class, I want you to write a poem about anything that appeals to you. Anything at all and I want you to read it to the class. There is a box of Poetry books out the front; you may look at them for some ideas. You have ten minutes. You may begin."
Mrs. Jones our English teacher said. I liked her, she was nice and she was young. That was a good thing compared to the older teachers that we have at our school. She could relate to us on a more personal level. Unlike Dragon Dimitri in the English department for the Seniors. Urgh.
I pushed my chair back and stood up and headed towards the front of the classroom. I had just reached the box of books and wasn't really paying attention to what I was doing and I knocked hands with someone. I looked up to apologise and saw Gordo standing there. I felt my face heat up.
"Sorry." I mumbled.
"Not as sorry as I am." He muttered. I'm pretty sure that his comment had nothing to do with my hand brushing his. It had more to it than that. All of a sudden it made me angry.
"You know what, I'm not sorry. I hope I hurt you." I said. How lame. As if I would have hurt him with my hand. I had to suppress the urge to roll my eyes at myself. I grabbed a book and stalked back to my seat. I plopped back down again and exhaled.
Why did I just do that? I want to be friends with him again, not drive him even further away! I am so stupid sometimes. I slid down in my seat and opened my book up to the section on Friendship poems. I skimmed through them until coming across one that given any other time would have made me happy but right now it depressed me. But no one needed to know that. I decided that it was the one that I would base my poem on. I marked the page and pulled out a pen and wrote the first thing that came into my head about friendships. I looked at the end result and was pretty pleased with myself. Normally I don't write poetry but it was actually fun. I sat back and waited for everyone else to finish.
"Mr Craft, would you do the honour of going first with your Poem?" Mrs Jones asked kindly.
"Yeah sure. My Poem is called "My Girl" not the movie dudes, Ethan's poem." He said as he walked to the front of the class. I had a bad feeling about this.
"My Poem is written in Acoustic I mean, Acrostic form. Here goes.
M is for Mmm. Y is for Yeah!
G is for Gorgeous I is for Irresistible R is for Ravenous. L is for Lizzie!"
I nearly died on the spot. I had no idea that Ethan would do something like that! It was sweet in a way but incredibly embarrassing.
"Thank you Ethan. Since your Poem was about Miss McGuire, I suggest she go next. That alright Lizzie?" she asked smiling at me. No it wasn't all right but I couldn't exactly say that could I? I stood up and walked to the front of the class just as Ethan had done. He winked at me on the way and I smiled weakly back.
"My Poem is called 'True Friends'" I said, careful to avoid Gordo's eyes.
"True friends stand by each other, True friends help each other True friends are there for the Good times and the bad. No matter what, friends will Always be friends."
I stood nervously looking around and my eyes flicked automatically over to Gordo who was looking down at his desk. Thinking hard about something. I walked back to my desk slowly. Hoping that he now knew how I bad I felt about the way I had treated him and Miranda. I now realise what I had done wrong. I had ignored them in the Digital Bean. I can't believe I hadn't realised that's what it was. The Poem in the book had triggered memories that I had with my best friends and it had made me see what I had done wrong. I had treated them like no bodies.
I didn't deserve such great friends.
***
Ok. Of course the credit for the song used in this chapter goes to LaLaine seeing as it is her song. I just thought that it fit perfectly in here. I love this song. Wish her album were out here in Aussie.
Nesserz.