***SEISOUHEN SPOILERS***
A/N: Yet another chapter. It's a bit short; sorry about that. But hey, my early update should make up for that.
This one focuses on what I believe Suzume could have thought upon finding out about Kenshin's death. It will involve a bit off OOCness, but keep in mind that Suzume will be older, in her late teens, I believe. Perhaps her mid-teens, which is quite a bit more mature than her younger days. Keep in mind that I have not yet read the end of the manga (my parents are forcing me to wait for the English translations rather than buying me the original and letting me use online translations, and I haven't found any scanslations that have reached the end of the story that haven't been pulled offline due to Viz recently claiming rights to RK.) Thus, I do not know exactly what happened to Dr. Gensai and his granddaughters, nor exactly where they are during SeiSouHen, so I used my imagination and writing liberties to write this ficlet. Enjoy! Please remember to review!
Oh, and I used the anime version of Suzume's reference to Kenshin. Uncle Kenny. I think it's cute. ^_^
WARNING: Angst.
Disclaimer: I would write a fan fiction if I owned the characters and could manipulate the original story line to my every whim. Yep. I would.
Rating: PG/PG-13
POV: Suzume
Time Period: Post SeiSouHen
~*~*~*~
"Fields of Innocence"**
"Nice and clean, Uncle Kenny! Nice and clean!" my sister and I would cry as you held up a piece of laundry you had just washed.
I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Those were the days. Scrubbing laundry, playing in the yard, no worries obscuring our little utopia. Well, except for those times when some self-righteous lunatic would try to kill you for some reason, whether for revenge or taking over the world. Besides that, though, we had such a wonderful life. That's the way it should have been. Children are supposed to be happy, and you made sure Ayame and I were such. You gave us the illusion that we lived in a perfect world, where a happy ending was always in sight, where people we loved never died, where you would always be there, protecting us from any lurking evils of the world.
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now
I want to go back to that. I miss those rose-tinted glasses you placed in front of our eyes, because then, we didn't have to feel pain. Oh, sure, the occasional scraped knee and hurt feelings, but actual, rip-open-your-heart pain? Of course not. You protected us from that. You helped us retain the softness of our hearts. I hate that all your efforts were in vain.
Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
I had to grow up, eventually. The seat of my emotions has been scarred and calloused, Uncle Kenny. These stabbing pains are beginning to dull as reality hardens their victim and builds up layer of thicker skin. Funny how, when I was young, I longed for these days of maturity, and now that they are here…
I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all
Now…I want to go back. Back to those days when I knew nothing of gut wrenching agony or tears of depression. Back to those days, when all I had to do was call your name, and you could fix my "boo boos."
Back to those days when all I had to do was believe, have faith. I only had to have faith in you and your strength, and the strength of my family, and we would always have a happy ending. Now, no amount of faith can bring you, Kaoru, Yahiko—everyone, us—a happy ending.
Or maybe we have no happy ending because I quit believing.
I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder now
When we went to the market place, I had no insecurities or worries about those around me. All people were good, kind, and gentle. You taught us that even those who did bad things had good inside them. Because of your words, I could always place under the warm sun without fear and without having to constantly keep and eye out to see if someone looked suspicious.
But as I go in the market place now, I must be ever aware of my surroundings. It's strange. I never realized that sunlight could be so cold, so indifferent. What happened to the sun being our friend, something which illuminated all the goodness in the world?
Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
When I heard from Yahiko about you, and how Kaoru was following in your footsteps…that was when I cut myself off emotionally. I didn't want to believe that you were gone, because when you left, I could no longer deny that those euphoric childhood days had also passed, only to be memories, sketched in my heart. A year after that, I began to wonder where I had put my heart. Don't worry, Uncle Kenny. I found it. I was looking in the river, and saw a strange girl looking back at me. She looked a lot like me. It was strange; I almost thought it was me, but she had a heart. Well, more than just a heart. It was my heart, and I could see it in her eyes. I asked her if I could have it back, and she was nice enough to return it. I was very lucky, ne? Others might not have been so kind.
I want to go back to
Believing in everything
I know you're watching me, two years after you've left. Perhaps you aren't be happy that I am feeling this pain, but the pain is a sign that I have a heart, ne? As long as I have a heart, I can learn to believe again. I'm sure you're glad about that.
Most likely, I will never be able to permanent go back to those days, living in a childlike illusion, but I can believe nonetheless. Every time I have faith, I can relive those childhood memories, and when I do that, I can almost remember what it was like to have a happy ending.
Believing in everything
~*~*~*~
** Original song title, not mine
A/N: chew nails So…how was it? Oh really? Hmm…too bad I can't read your mind. Fanfiction.Net really ought to make something that you can use to tell us authors how we're doing! What? They did? OH! So that's what that little button down there is for. What are you doing, still reading this?! Click on it! Leave me a review!
Muse
imaginationsoul@yahoo.com