Buffy was sitting in her favorite chair reading when Hank came in.
"Hello Elizabeth. Make anyone cry today?"
"Sadly no. But it's only 4:30." She said without looking up.
Dawn bounced in and kissed Hank on the cheek.
"Hi daddy!"
"Hello, precious."
Buffy looked up at Dawn.
"And where have you been?"
"Nowhere."
Hank was looking through the mail.
"Hey, what's this? It says Columbia University."
Buffy jumped up and grabbed the package, ripping it open.
"Oh my God! I got in! I got in!", she screamed.
She ran over to the chair and plopped down in it, intent on reading the rest of the package. Hank walked over.
"Uh honey. That's great. But isn't Columbia University on the other side of the country?"
"Thus the basis of its appeal. And Willow, Tara, and the rest of the gang will be going."
"I thought you were going to stay here and go to school. UCSunnydale, like me."
"No, you decided.", Buffy said as she sat up.
"Oh ok, so what, you were just going to pick up and leave?"
"Let's hope so." Dawn said.
Buffy glared at Dawn.
"Ask Dawn who drove her home."
Hank looked at Buffy.
"Now Buffy, don't change the- "
He spun around and looked at Dawn.
"Drove? Who drove you home?"
Dawn glared at Buffy and turned to Hank.
"Now, daddy, don't get upset, but there's this boy-"
"Who's a flaming idiot.", Buffy added.
"And I think he might ask me-"
Hank looked at Dawn.
"I think I know what he's going to ask you. And I think I know the answer: no. It's always no. What is the house rule? No dating till you graduate. That's it."
Dawn sat down.
"Daddy, that's so unfair. I am the only girl in school who's not dating."
"Oh, no you're not. Your sister doesn't date."
"And I don't intend to.", Buffy said.
Hank looked at her and smiled.
"And why is that again?"
"Have you seen the delinquents that go to our school?"
Dawn looked at Buffy.
"Where do you come from? Planet Loser?"
"As opposed to Planet Look at Me, Look at Me."
Hank clapped his hands and the girls looked up.
"Ok, here's how we solve this one. Old rule out. New rule: Dawn can date-"
Dawn looked at Buffy smugly as Hank finished.
"When she does.", he pointed at Buffy.
Dawn jumped up.
"But she's a shrew! What if she never dates?"
"Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that. And I'll get to sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father whose daughters aren't out being impregnated."
His pager went off. As he leaves, he points at Buffy.
"We'll talk about Columbia later."
"Fine."
Buffy stood up and headed towards the stairs to go to her room and call Willow. Dawn chased after Hank.
"Wait, daddy!"
"Gotta go."
He leaves and Dawn turns to Buffy.
"Can't you just find some blind, deaf retard to take you to the movies so I can have one date?"
"I'm sorry. Looks like you'll miss out on the witty repartee of Angel "Eat me" O'Connor."
"You suck."
"You suck.", Buffy said mockingly. She turned and continued up the stairs leaving behind a fuming Dawn.