Elizabeth starts wobbling. She tried to straighten herself out, but her

shoes are much too large.

"Errrr Emily, wanna dance?" Commandore Norrington asks Elizabeth.

"For the last time, it's Elizabeth." She replied. "But, akay."

"You're hot"

Elizabeth tried to balance herself, making it seem like she's backing

away from him.

"No, sorry if I'm too foreward, but I must tell you.."

She is still wobbling.

"I want you to marry me and have my many love babies..cause you're

like, a woman and stuff." Norrington closes his eyes to wish for the best.

Elizabeth stumbles backwards and falls over the wall and lands in the

water below.

"So..Elle," Norrington, still eyes closed, gets on one knee. "Will you

be my bitch?" He opens his eyes and stands up and throws the ring on

the ground. "WILL YOU BE MY BITCH?!?!" He then sees that she's not there.

He looks around him, but can't find her. He looks over the wall and

sees two objects that look like waterskis. He imagines waterskiing for a

second and starts to drool. Razor(I mean Gilette) slaps him across the

face.

"Norry, you're supposed to save her!"

"Oh yeah. My dearly beloved Elise!" He goes to the wall, about to jump

in to save her as Gilette grabs his arm.

"The nudists! She's lucky she missed them!"

Norrington looks down and realises Gillette is right this time. He

jumps down and runs.

***

MEANWHILE

Jack, Mullroy and Murtogg watch her fall. Mullroy holds up a sign

saying: 4.6, Murtogg's sign says: 5.2, Jack's: 7.4

"Well, she's hot" Jack defends.

Murtogg and Mullroy look at eachother, mumble, shrug and agree.

Silence.

"Well aren't you gonna save her??" Jack asked.

"I..can't swim" Mullroy replied.

"Well..I can, but I can't wash my L'Oreal haircolor for men yet."

Murtogg informs.

***

MEANWHILE

Norrington and other men climb down the rocks to try to save Elizabeth.

Norrington shouts, "Erica? Erica?!" to try to find her.

"It's ELIZABETH you dumbass," the others corrected, irritated.

However they try, they won't be able to get to Elizabeth in time.

***

Jack has no choice but to save her. He pretends to scowl, but we all

know that he's overjoyed to do it. He hands Murtogg and Mullroy his

pistol from his sword belt, his sword belt, earrings, bandana, banana, a

monkey, sea monkies, a tooth, a gold tooth cap, his left shoe, string,

floss, a watch, a laptop computer, a TREASURE NAVIGATING SYSTEM, car keys,

stereo, the lyrics to 'A Pirate's Life For Me,' a sandwich and a

medallion.

"Don't lose these."

He then jumps in the water to look for Elizabeth.

Elizabeth just floats there, her enormous shoes used as floats, but her

head engulged in the water. The current swipes the underwear off of her

body. Jack finds her (although who couldn't?) and wraps his arm around

her. He tries to swim to shore, but for some reason, can't. He looks at

her and discovers the problem. He slips her shoes off her. They sink.

It lightens the load making it easier to swim. Jack and Elizabeth reach

Murtogg and Mullroy. The two reach down to help Elizabeth up out of the

water. Mullroy grabs her arm, Murtogg goes for the same one.

"I reached her first!" Mullroy yells to Murtogg.

"No you didn't! I did!" Murtogg yells back.

They argue for 27 minutes about this, but, meanwhile, a female pirate

captain swoops in, grabs Elizabeth, lands her safely on the dock, smiles

at Jack, and swoops back onto her ship. She steers it away with the

name on the back of it.

"The Black Pearl. What a beautiful boat name." Jack says lustily.

"She..was amazing. Where did she come from??"

He pulled himself onto the docks. He brought himself to look at

Elizabeth. She started to breathe, but not before coughing up a storm. Her

dress is spewed everywhere because if it's weight with water. It's lifted

enough to show the underwear.

"The UNDERWEAR!" Jack shouts at Elizabeth. "Where did you get them!?"

But before she could answer, a light saber is at Jack's throat. Infact,

this happens to be Norrington's ceremonial light saber!

"Up, bitch." Norrington demanded. "Did this prick try to take advantage

of your bod.." a fly flies past Norry's face. His attention goes to the

fly. The fly goes off and flies in circles. Norry tries to chase it.

"No, I'm peachy." Elizabeth assured. Norry was far away chasing the fly

so Elizabeth had to yell. "Do you intend to kill my rescuer?"

Norry is running in circles and jumping, clapping his hands to catch

the beast when he hears Elizabeth calling him.

"Thanks." He goes to shake Jack's hand. but accidentally grabs his

sleeve and in an attempt to shake, he rips it off revealing a tatoo which

reads: Hello I'm a pirate and I will kill you. Also, I will take your

money and advantage of your wives then get slapped multiple times.

"Oh look at this tatoo! It's so pretty. I like the butterfly!" Norry

drooled over the tatoo. Jack looked at it to see what butterfly he was

talking about. There was none.

"Dude, PIRATE. It bloody says PIRATE!" Jack yelled at the idiot.

They then pants the poor pirate and to their suprise they find a tattoo

on his posterior: If you are reading this, then you are reading the

tattoo of Captain Jack Sparrow.

"Uh..Jack Sparrow? WHERE?!" Norry questions as if filled with anger.

"CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow to you." Jack corrected as he pulled up his

pants.

"So..where's your boat, CAPTAIN?" Norry asks Jack.

"He's gonna commandeer one." Murtogg replies. Mullroy holds out Jack's

belt. Norrington examines the pistol.

"Lalala!" He takes the gun and runs around the dock with it. All the

responsable people try to get the gun away from him before he causes any

damage. They finally get it from him to find it to be a watergun. Nice.

Norrington's attention goes to something shiney.

"Oooooohhhhhhhhhh..." He reaches for the compass. Murtogg slaps his

hand as he doesn't want anything to happen. Mullroy takes the compass,

turns it around, and realises the defect.

Every thing it points to is 'Treasure.'

"You are the worse jellyfish I've ever heard of, Jerry Springer!"

Norrington exclaims.

"Um, it's Captain Jack Sparrow, and..I'm a PIRATE." Jack corrected the

moron.

"Whatever"

"Yeah..but you HAVE heard of me."

"How can I not? You're plastered all over the news."

"K."

Gillette approaches with sausage links.

"Careful." Norry reminds Gillette.

"Commodore, this man saved my life. Well, with the help of my humongous

shoes." Elizabeth winked at her dad when she said shoes and gave him a

'thumbs up.'

"Oh, k." Norry replies. Gillette comes up to Jack and ties the sausages

around his wrists.

"NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Comes a voice.



Who's it from? What happens next? You'll have to wait for the next

chappy!