CAR DOORS
In a galaxy far far away
Blah Blah Blah Blah
Blah Blah…etc
Author's Note: this is the same author and story as the one on Fanfiction.net, so don't report me. I'm not copying, cause they're both the same person
(out in space, a giant slice-of-pizza- shaped space ship is being chased by a tiny car-shaped space ship)
(on board the S.S. Pizza)
Dave Bonner: Princess, we cannot take much more Banter from that corvette, our ship will not hold!
Ginger: *Bark* *Woof*
Dave Bonner: I see, we will give up, but the plans will be safe in an R2 unit, excellent idea.
Ginger: *Woof*
(a gunshot is heard and Dave Bonner hits the floor)
R2D2: *Beep Boop Beedoop* (ha ha die)
Ginger: *Arf Arf* Obiwan Kenobi *woof bark woof bark bark*
R2D2: *Beeb boop* (I'm not your message boy, I'm a robot thank you very much and furthermore-)
C3PO: What?!? Let our powers combine?!?! What the heck does that mean??!
(Ginger closes the escape hatch and sends the droids into space towards the closest planet)
R2D2: *BEEP* (How dare you shoot me out of our ship you *beeeep* (stupid idiot
(The escape pod lands on the desert planet known as tatoo. the bots crawl out.)
R2D2: *beep boop bebop* (Man, what died on this ship? *looks over to see dead corpse in pod* *beep* (oh)
C3PO: Yes I realize you like his shoes, but you don't even have feet!! Get over it already
R2D2: *wild frantic beeps* (oh my Gosh, aren't you horrified by this corpse?)
C3PO: Yes those are pretty flies, but we need to find Luke Skywalker
R2D2: *beep* (sigh, you never even listen to me) *cries softly*
C3PO: You talk too much. it's all *beep* this and *boop* that SHUT UP *smacks R2D2*
R2D2: *beeeeeeeeeeep*(you *cesored*)
C3PO: I accept your apology then
R2D2: *beep* (I'll mount your head on a pike)
C3PO: Aw, such loving words… give me a hug *hugs R2*
*R2D2 zaps C3PO with his little zappy electric thing*
C3PO: Awe, your so adorable, like a puppy
R2D2: *beeeeeep* (I can't take this anymore!!!)
*R2D2 explodes*
(Jawas, formerly known as Prince appear, pick up the scraps, and shock C3PO several times before finding the on/off switch cleverly located in the rear)
(After a time, R2 is back on his feet and enjoying the silence when suddenly the trash truck they were riding in comes to a stop and all the robots including C3PO are forced out onto the sand. thankfully, C3Po is still shut off)
Jawa: (loosely translated) Where's my coffee Clarence?
Jawa Clarence: (loosely translated) in the cab of the truck
Jawa: (loosely translated) Aw, dang, cay you handle the customers while I go to Starbucks and get a refill?
Clarence: (loosely translated)Ok but bring me back a latte
(Patrick McGrath (Luke Skywalker) and his uncle walk up to the outpost looking for farm-bots to help on their Tart-N'-Tiny farm)
Patrick: Why do I have to come?
Uncle: Because you didn't finish your Tart-N'-Tiny last night
Patrick: Awww c'mon lighten up a little
Uncle (speaking to Jawa): How much for that R2 unit?
Clarence: (loosely translated) more than you're worth
Uncle: 5 bucks! what a deal! I'll take it!
Clarence: (loosely translated) Well, we did find it so it won't cost us anything, alright, I'll take it
Uncle: You drive a hard bargain. ok fine, 15 dollars and that's my last offer
Clarence: Don't you think that's a bit much?
Uncle: Great, here you go, and I'll take that translator droid off you hands too.
(Back at the Tart-N'-Tiny farm owned by Patrick's uncle, we find Patrick taking off the magnetic bolts that control their movements and sometimes screw them up)
Patrick: Stupid bolt, why won't you come off
R2: You're a nerd
Patrick: Maybe I should use my hands instead of my teeth (Rips the magnet off)
R2: You're a dweeb
Patrick: That's better (takes magnet off C3PO and turns him back on) there you go
C3PO: … and furthermore, you rude little former prince things, and-wait a minute, did you suddenly get taller? He, it's R2D2… did you put on weight?
Patrick: Ha ha, you idiot bots are so funny
R2: *beep* (*censored* no)
C3PO: Why I would love some mango juice… mmm… mango juice (starts drooling)
R2: *Shocks C3PO 18 times*
C3PO: Now that wasn't very nice you *polysyllabic profanity* robot
*hits R2*
(Princess Ginger's 3-D puzzle image pops out of the top of R2 and the recording *Bark Woof obiwan Kenobi* is repeated)
Patrick: (wakes up) ooh, she's pretty (drools)
R2: *muffled beep* (mphfrmmrphrmf)
Patrick: (Takes the puzzle and eats it) got any toast in there?
C3PO: Are you hungry or something? you seem to have plenty of Tart-N'-Tiny's around.
Patrick: I only get one a night. I got some bread stashed away and really want some toast.
C3PO: Yes, you just put the bread in here *points to the hole that the electrocute thing comes out of*
*R2 shocks him* *and again* *and again*
R2: *Beep* *Beep* (that'll show you)
C3PO: Yes, that's what I said, you put the bread in here *Points to another random hole next to the little eye thing*
R2: *Beep**Boop* Why don't you understand me? (crying softly)
(Patrick suddenly falls over dead and the bots flee the scene.)