Everyone looks to the southeast. They see a young pirate girl.
Norrington arms himself..in the wrong direction. The pirate girl stops running.
"Aye, I be Captain Cheesehead an' I shall be saving ye fellow pirate."
She explained to Jack as she ran towards him and started to untie the
sausages..by eating them. This made Norry mad, so he kicked her into the
water. She wasn't ready to submerge yet, so she gasped while falling,
filling her lungs up with water. She drowns.
"Bummer." Elizabeth mourns.
"She was hot." Jack stated. "Too bad necrophilia's outlawed."
Everyone stared at him.
"On with the..pirating thing?" Jack tried to get off the subject.
"Oh yeah, yeah," Everyone mumbled as they resumed position. Jack looks
in the water every now and then. "That sucks." He says to himself.
It takes a lot of sausage to tie jack up, as Commodore Norrington has
found sausage to be a delecious snack and had been munching on the
links. Elizabeth whips out a fly swatter and swats Norry on the head. "Stop
it now!"
After Jack has finally been tied up, some of the men come forth armed
with their rifles. Out of desperation, jack thinks of a diversion. He
points behind the men.
"Look! A blimp!"
Everyone looks in the direction of where Jack's pointing. "BLIMP?!?!"
When they are not looking, Jack wraps the sausage link chain around
Elizabeth's neck, using her as a sheild. They finally realise that there
is no blimp and turn around.
"Damn..there was no bli...ELIZABETH!" They are shocked to see Elizabeth
blocking Jack.
"DAMNIT! We gotta stop falling for that one," One of the gunmen
complained.
"Give me my stuff." Jack demanded. He, for once, felt in charge.
Mullroy hands the stuff to Norrington, who hands it back to Mullroy.
"No, idiot, not back to me, give the stuff to Jack!"
"Ohh.." Norry replied. "Wait, who's Jack?"
Blah blah Elizabeth put's Jack's belt on him, he backs up..
"You guys will always remember this as the day you almost caught
Capt..aaaiiiinnnnnn...."
Jack falls into the water and lands next to a nudist.
"Hey!" She slapps him.
"BERTHA? Oh, I difinately deserved that one.." He swims away and gets
on boat after boat until he's out of sight.
"Are you okay, whore?" Norry asks her.
"Just..fine." She glares.
"Elizabeth, it's getting a little nippy. Take my coat..don't mind the
zippy...zipper" her father suggests.
"Thank you, father, for the gesture, but..It sux0r. It's a total
fashion statement."
"Fasho"
Little elves in packs come by on the ground..like fog. The men nod to
eachother; it's time to move on. Jack watches from under the docks,
still clad in sausages.
***
Jack sneaks into a toy store slash Star Wars convention place. The
place looks barren, but it's light and many colorful toys are around. There
is a dark corner, however, around the door with a bright neon sign
saying 'STAR WARS GEEKS.' But there lies a man clad in Darth Vader apparrel
with his belly poking out of costume. Sleeping. Jack kicks him in the
face. Darth, takes the sausage links from around Jack's wrists and eats
them. While sleeping.
"How convenient." Jack mumbles.
He goes to the yo-yo section. He takes one and starts doing all kinds
of tricks. He was a yo-yo champ in his youth, you know. But all of a
sudden, Jack hears the door knob turn, so he looks for a place to hide. He
dives into a space labeled, "Jack Sparrow, Pirate, hide here." Then you
hear a faint, 'It's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow."
Will enters. He goes straight to the yo-yo section for he, too, has a
yo-yo fetish. He goes to grab his favorite to notice it gone. He looks
all around him on the verge of tears to find it on the floor next to
Jack's hideout. He goes to pick it up...
"That's not where I left you."
...when he feels a slap on his arm. A light saber cut through Will's
flesh and through the bone-like matter tearing it off.
"AAAAHHHHHH" He yells out a girlish scream. "Huh, oh, yeah.." He lifts
up his sleeve remnants and watches the arm grow back. "Lalala"
He and the pirate's eyes meet. Jack jumps out of the pit and backs Will
to the door.
"You're the one they're hunting..the PIRATE!"
"Yep"
"K"
Will assumes an en garde position. Jack does the same, but becomes
unhappy when he realises Will knows what he's doing. They start the fight.
Yo-yos here, yo-yos there. Walk the dog, Cat's cradle, you name it.
"You know what you're doing." Jack informs.
They turn in circles to face the exact opposite positions they were in
earlier. Jack is now by the door. He goes to reach for the handle to
get out, but Will 'Shoots The Moon.' The yo-yo ties itself around the
knobs. Jack tries to open the door, but has no luck. He tries to untie the
string, but, again, no luck. He turns around to face Will.
"Again, you are standing between me and my way out. And without a
weapon." Jack explains.
Will picks up a new yo-yo from the stand behind him (how convenient)
and they duel again. Jack notices the toy store/Star Wars Convention
Meeting Place is no ordinary toy store/Star Wars Convention Meeting Place,
it's a YO-YO STORE/Star Wars Convention Meeting Place.
"Who MAKES all these??" Jack asks.
"I do." Will replies. "And I practice with them at least 12 hours a
day."
"You've GOT to get yourself a bitch."
"Yeah, I know..but guys like me can't.."
"Why not?
"Because..because.." Will starts to tear up. "I'm a eunuch."
"Aw, poor guy." Jack reinstates. Jack takes his arm around Will's nack
and sets him and himself down on a platform and talk it all out.
"Why, there have been MANY famous eunuchs!" Jack finishes.
"Really?!" Will's eyes widen.
"Yeah..like..um..Blackbeard!"
"WOW!"
"And..erm..Captain Kidd..Oh, and Bootleg Bill!"
"Neat-o! So there were a lot of eunuchs, LIKE ME!"
"uh..yeah." They go to hug, as sailors fill the room.
"Thank you, strange, green, elf-man, for the capture of a vicious
primate." One stated to Will. Another soldier whispers in his ear. "Hm? Oh,
I mean pirate, not primate." They grab Jack by the ear and drag him
outside and give him two paddles on the rump.
"What do you think you're doing, influencing this young boy?!" Another
sailor interrogated.
"I..dunno." Jack responded.
"I beleive you will remember this as the day.." Norrington drools. Jack
snaps his fingers in front of Norry's face. "..that Captain Jack
Springer almost escaped."
"Eh, that's a little closer. Work on SPARROW next time, Einstein." Jack
corrected.
