Hm I don't know if you guys get some of these jokes I make in here
because you may not have seen the movie 7 times. *glares at Breann*
******
Will walks around sobbing. He walks up to the ledge where Jack is,
unknowingly. He sits down and sees Jack.
"Hey *sniff* Jack!"
"CAPTAIN Jack."
"Yep. So, you know anything about the Black Apollo?"
"Somewhat."
"Where is it?"
"It's berthed on Isle va la matanza usted mismo. You can't find it and
the only way to go there is to know where it is already.
"The ship's real, so it must be at a real place. WHERE IS IT?!?!?"
"Why are you asking me?"
"I dunno, just thought you would know."
"Oh, ok. But you're way into this."
"They took Ms. Swann."
"I knew it. You DO like her. Ooohhh Willy's got a GIRLFRIEND! Will and
Elizabeth sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!.."
"Shut up! Not uh! No I don't!"
"Yes huh! Yeah you doo!! HAHAHA WILLYS GOT A GIRLLLLFRIEND!"
Silence.
"You're name is Cheesehead." Jack says out of nowhere.
"Yes. Will Cheesehad."
Jack smiles.
"You know what, Will Cheesehead..I'll take you to the Black Apollo."
"w00t!"
They get up, but Jack forgot his stuff. He picks it all up.
"My b." Jack acts embarrassed.
"Why are you bothering with that?" Will asks.
"Becauuuseeeeeee I wanna!"
"K"
"Oh, before we go, I just want to make sure. How far are you willing to
go for her?"
"I'd die for her."
"Good. Very, very good." Jack rubs his hands together menacingly whilst
cackling. "Hahahahah! Ow! My callus!"
*
"Ooh, the Happy Dude. What a beautiful sight." Jack hops in the boat.
"Come aboard."
"k." Will goes to step in the boat. The boat rocks slightly, making
Will more nervous. He cries and grabs onto Jack. His knuckled turn white
from the grasping. Jack shoos him off and Will finally finds a
comfortable spot.
"Wait, we're going to steal that ship?" Will asks.
"Commandeer, bitch." Jack replies.
"It's still illicit."
"Yeah? You're becoming a pirate no matter how much you ignore it."
"Aw, poopie."
**
The Happy Dude bobs along side the Hauntless. The Happy Dude nears the
rudder of the Hauntless, which is a much larger ship. Jack and Will
jump from The Happy Dude, to the Hauntless.
"Nobody move! This is a stick up!" Will exclaims, holding up pistols
and wearing a knee-high on his head.
"No, Will. It's not a stick up. We're taking over the ship." Jack turns
to the crew who are on the floor. "Get up. We're just taking over the
ship."
The crew gets up, and dusts themselves off. They mumble to eachother
stuff like, "Oh, good. We're not getting held up."
Gillette, who happens to be the Lieutenant, steps foreward.
"You're serious about this." He asks in a statement.
"Dead serious." Jack replies. He gets shot at. "Hey!"
"You said dead."
"Well I meant that I was serious."
"Oh. Well, this ship cannot be overtaken by only two men, you realise."
"Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah?" Will gets closer. Jack takes him by the
shoulder.
"No. Don't do that."
"Don't kill my men." Gilette insisted.
"Oh, don't worry. We brought you guys a nice little boat to get to
shore with." Jack calls to will. "We got ourselves a ship."
They both high five.
"Sir, Norrington, holy shit. Someone's over there stealing your ship!"
Swanny P. informs.
"WTF?" Norry replies.
"Yizzep"
Norry takes out a stethescope and looks into it. Swanny P. looks at him
funny.
"Dude, yo, man. You're using it wrong. You gotta go like this to listen
to the strong..?"
Norrington gives him a blank look.
"Stop rapping."
Swanny P. looks at it and sees that it's a stethescope and what he
wants is a TELESCOPE. He reaches into his back pocket and grabs one.
"Ah, Fubu." He hands the telescope to Norry.
Norrington looks into it the wrong way.
"I don't see anything. Everything's too far away."
Swanny P. takes the telescope and turns it around.
"Ah there we go. Thanks. But, they're not taking over the ship. Infact,
they're helping the crew ON to the ship. I suppose they fell overboard
and they are helping them back. Oh, how nice!
Swanny P. takes the telescope from him and looks into it. He sees the
crew go from the Hauntless to the Happy Dude.
"Man, what you said..if it weren't for me you would be dead. You're not
to smart, you're not to bright. Nothing about you seems quite right."
Swanny P. explains the situation and his misunderstandings to Norry.
Norry sighs with releif.
"Ohh haha cool!"
He looks into the telescope and sees Will.
"Rash, Turner. Hey, rash? Why is that in the script? Are they making
fun of my rash?"
Whispering as for the camera not to hear, Swanny P. mumbles to Norry.
"No forget about it. Just go to your next line."
"What?" Norry asks. "Oh, just keep going, okay. Yeah Jack's a bad
pirate."
ON THE HAUNTLESS
Jack leans on the wheel, and then we start to see some pelvic
thrusting. Will looks over and his eyes widen.
"JACK, NO HUMPING THE SHIP!"
"CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, to you." He stops humping.
Will looks back.
"They're coming!"
Norry's smaller ship sails next to the Hauntless, the deck appear
empty. Sailors draw the two ships together.
"Yeah, search the boat and stuff." Norry commands the sailors.
Jack and Will jump over the side to get away. They swim to another
boat. They find one smaller than the Hauntless and climb aboard to find a
watchman. Jack tackles him from behind and covers his mouth.
"Can you swim?" He asks.
"Mfdkpw mppwhhhphffks?" The watchman replies.
"What? Stop mumbling!"
"Mphh rrrmsppp sjadgi!!!! Jjdaf!! Ikjewfk!"
"WOULD YOU STOP MUMBLING, MAN? I ASKED YOU A QUESTION!!!!!!"
Will walks up to Jack.
"Jack, I beleive you should uncover his mouth to get your answer."
"CAPTAIN Jack. And thank you." Jack uncovers his mouth.
"As I was saying, yes, I can swim. See, I used to spend my summers as a
lad by the ocean and lakes at my father's beach house. It was grand
fun. Why, I remember me and the little neighbor girl used to play
mermaids. Oh how fu..."
Jack recovered his mouth. Will high-fived Jack. Jack throws the man
overboard. As he falls you can still hear, ". that was! Indeed! We swam
and swam and played until night..." SPLASH!