*Chapter 6
That smile you're wearing
It's a beautiful disguise
It's just something you put on to hide the emptiness inside
And you seem so lonely
But you don't have to anymore
Draco walked into the room and closed the door quickly. He took the journal out of Tegan's bag and looked at it. Did he really want to do this? He would be going into Tegan's mind and thoughts. But that's what he wanted. He wanted to understand Tegan, she just wouldnt give him the chance too. Draco opened the journal but then closed it quickly. For some reason his head was saying he shouldn't do it. But his heart told him he should for Tegan's sake. He opened the journal once more to a random page and noticed how long ago it was dated.
July 7th, 2001
Kerri's gone. She left me here to fend for myself. I hate her. She wasn't supposed to leave. Did she mean to intently do this too me? Of course she did. She was just my sister. That didnt mean she had to love me like I was anything too her. Mom and Dad searched all around London for her but there has been no sign. But then again I don't care. I could live without her. Who needs her? She's not my sister. I don't love her just like she doesnt love me. There. I said it. But I know it's not true. Kerri loved me, she told me a million times. I was her little sister and we would escape to the better life. Not the life mom and dad gave us. The one with no love, but a life that could fulfill so many dreams. That's what she said. She was always so passionate about it. Maybe she didnt want a little sister to ruin her dreams. Yeah, even though Kerri shared her dreams with me. Didnt mean she wasn't selfish. I cant believe she ran away on me. How could she do this? We were supposed to do this together. Crap. Mom wants to talk. Here's another lecture. Till Later.
Tegan
Draco closed the book. He couldn't believe he had started reading Tegan's diary. He frowned to himself knowing that he wanted answers. He needed answers. He couldn't help that he was curious to Tegan's behavior. He flipped open the journal once again coming upon another entry that was written 5 months later.
Dec. 15th, 2001
I'm home a few days earlier then expected. Dad died. It was such a shock to me. He has been sick for a few months now but no one seemed to inform me. Mom told me that Dad thought it was better not to tell me because he didn't want it to affect my studies. I can't believe they didn't tell me he had Cystic Fibrosis. I am apart of this family. I should have known! I wonder if Kerri knew? She probably did. She hasn't come back for me yet. Of course she wouldn't. Why did I ever think she would? It seems everyone's leaving me now. First it was Kerri. Now it's dad. Mom doesn't really care that Dad's dead. That's only because he beat her. I don't think they've ever loved each other. They probably only stayed together because of Kerri and I. I guess I don't know. My head hurts now, so do my eyes. Maybe because I'm trying to hold back my tears? Crying can be good right? Well until next time.
Tegan
Draco looked up for a second after reading the entry and felt his heart break. No wonder she knew so quickly what Warren's sickness was. Why wouldn't she tell him though? Why was she being so secretive. He wasn't going to tell anyone. He went to the first page and noticed that she hadn't wrote for at least 2 weeks after the last entry.
Jan. 1, 2002
Mom hit me. It really doesn't surprise me though. She's just giving me the beating that she used to get. Or maybe it was the alcohol and grief? It stings like hell though. The whole left side of my face is starting to turn black and blue. It's also swelling by the second. I'm surprised there isn't a big hand print. I wonder if it's what I said that made her do this. I got a little worked up tonight when I heard that mom hasn't cried at all for my dad yet. I yelled at her that she didn't love him. She told me I was being stupid. Then I yelled you probably had Kerri and I with another man. You just married Dad so you wouldn't be a *student leader under training*. Then she hit me. She hit me so hard I was surprised my neck didn't break. So maybe I deserved it? I don't know. I'm going to get an ice pack. Until Next time.
Tegan
P.S. I got back to school tomorrow. Joy.
Draco felt anger run through his body. Her mother abused her, he knew it. He just knew it. That's where all those scars on her arms came from. Draco slammed the book down on the table and he suddenly felt helpless. If Tegan never told him any of this stuff how would he help her overcome all her problems? Did she even want help? Draco noticed that the page turned to the next one and wondered if he should keep on reading. He decided to incase she was hiding something else from him.
Jan. 2, 2002
You know who I hate? Who I really, really hate in this whole damn school? Draco Malfoy. Not only has he been teasing me ever since our first year, five years ago but today he really did it. Of course Draco loves making my life a living hell, besides Harry Potters life, and announced to the whole Slytherin common room that I was crying. I was only crying because it was finally hitting me it was finally hitting me that my dad would never be here anymore. Anyway, since Malfoy announced it everyone looked at me. He called me immature and that I was being a baby. He also told me that I should get a life and stop worrying. That I was nothing and that my petty problems were nothing to worry about. He didn't even know what was wrong. Does that boy have any feelings at all? I mean he already makes my life so miserable with his stupid jokes. Always making fun of me because I'm a weasley and how I prefer to be alone. I just wish he would stop hurting me like this. He probably doesn't even realize he is. Why am I the only one he picks on besides Harry Potter? I really hate him. Until next time.
Tegan
Draco felt hurt run all through out his body. Did he really treat Tegan so badly she hated him? Did she still hate him? He felt his fingers tremble a little. He never thought he actually hurt her. He just meant it as a joke, he didn't want Tegan to hate him. He never thought he could make someone's life so miserable. If he made Tegan's life miserable by just a few comments and jokes. How was he making other people feel? Draco shook his head. He couldn't believe this. He never intended on hurting anyone. All he was doing was living like his father told him too. His father always told him to be proud and be better than others. He never thought by doing this he'd make people hurt. Draco stopped thinking about the other students and suddenly thought of Tegan. What if she still hated him? Draco wouldn't be able to bear that. Not now ever since he saw Tegan in a whole new light. He started to flip through the pages looking for recent entries when he heard the door open.
" Why are you looking through my personal things!" Tegan yelled as she snatched her journal out of Draco's hands. Warren started to cry as Tegan pushed him into Draco's arms.
" I was ... I ..." Draco said but couldn't find the words. He didn't want Tegan to know he wanted to understand her.
" You're a *frog* Malfoy. These are my private things and you read them! I hate you!" Tegan yelled as she ran out the door slamming it. Draco sighed. He just found out the answer to his question.
Song: By Nick Carter
That smile you're wearing
It's a beautiful disguise
It's just something you put on to hide the emptiness inside
And you seem so lonely
But you don't have to anymore
Draco walked into the room and closed the door quickly. He took the journal out of Tegan's bag and looked at it. Did he really want to do this? He would be going into Tegan's mind and thoughts. But that's what he wanted. He wanted to understand Tegan, she just wouldnt give him the chance too. Draco opened the journal but then closed it quickly. For some reason his head was saying he shouldn't do it. But his heart told him he should for Tegan's sake. He opened the journal once more to a random page and noticed how long ago it was dated.
July 7th, 2001
Kerri's gone. She left me here to fend for myself. I hate her. She wasn't supposed to leave. Did she mean to intently do this too me? Of course she did. She was just my sister. That didnt mean she had to love me like I was anything too her. Mom and Dad searched all around London for her but there has been no sign. But then again I don't care. I could live without her. Who needs her? She's not my sister. I don't love her just like she doesnt love me. There. I said it. But I know it's not true. Kerri loved me, she told me a million times. I was her little sister and we would escape to the better life. Not the life mom and dad gave us. The one with no love, but a life that could fulfill so many dreams. That's what she said. She was always so passionate about it. Maybe she didnt want a little sister to ruin her dreams. Yeah, even though Kerri shared her dreams with me. Didnt mean she wasn't selfish. I cant believe she ran away on me. How could she do this? We were supposed to do this together. Crap. Mom wants to talk. Here's another lecture. Till Later.
Tegan
Draco closed the book. He couldn't believe he had started reading Tegan's diary. He frowned to himself knowing that he wanted answers. He needed answers. He couldn't help that he was curious to Tegan's behavior. He flipped open the journal once again coming upon another entry that was written 5 months later.
Dec. 15th, 2001
I'm home a few days earlier then expected. Dad died. It was such a shock to me. He has been sick for a few months now but no one seemed to inform me. Mom told me that Dad thought it was better not to tell me because he didn't want it to affect my studies. I can't believe they didn't tell me he had Cystic Fibrosis. I am apart of this family. I should have known! I wonder if Kerri knew? She probably did. She hasn't come back for me yet. Of course she wouldn't. Why did I ever think she would? It seems everyone's leaving me now. First it was Kerri. Now it's dad. Mom doesn't really care that Dad's dead. That's only because he beat her. I don't think they've ever loved each other. They probably only stayed together because of Kerri and I. I guess I don't know. My head hurts now, so do my eyes. Maybe because I'm trying to hold back my tears? Crying can be good right? Well until next time.
Tegan
Draco looked up for a second after reading the entry and felt his heart break. No wonder she knew so quickly what Warren's sickness was. Why wouldn't she tell him though? Why was she being so secretive. He wasn't going to tell anyone. He went to the first page and noticed that she hadn't wrote for at least 2 weeks after the last entry.
Jan. 1, 2002
Mom hit me. It really doesn't surprise me though. She's just giving me the beating that she used to get. Or maybe it was the alcohol and grief? It stings like hell though. The whole left side of my face is starting to turn black and blue. It's also swelling by the second. I'm surprised there isn't a big hand print. I wonder if it's what I said that made her do this. I got a little worked up tonight when I heard that mom hasn't cried at all for my dad yet. I yelled at her that she didn't love him. She told me I was being stupid. Then I yelled you probably had Kerri and I with another man. You just married Dad so you wouldn't be a *student leader under training*. Then she hit me. She hit me so hard I was surprised my neck didn't break. So maybe I deserved it? I don't know. I'm going to get an ice pack. Until Next time.
Tegan
P.S. I got back to school tomorrow. Joy.
Draco felt anger run through his body. Her mother abused her, he knew it. He just knew it. That's where all those scars on her arms came from. Draco slammed the book down on the table and he suddenly felt helpless. If Tegan never told him any of this stuff how would he help her overcome all her problems? Did she even want help? Draco noticed that the page turned to the next one and wondered if he should keep on reading. He decided to incase she was hiding something else from him.
Jan. 2, 2002
You know who I hate? Who I really, really hate in this whole damn school? Draco Malfoy. Not only has he been teasing me ever since our first year, five years ago but today he really did it. Of course Draco loves making my life a living hell, besides Harry Potters life, and announced to the whole Slytherin common room that I was crying. I was only crying because it was finally hitting me it was finally hitting me that my dad would never be here anymore. Anyway, since Malfoy announced it everyone looked at me. He called me immature and that I was being a baby. He also told me that I should get a life and stop worrying. That I was nothing and that my petty problems were nothing to worry about. He didn't even know what was wrong. Does that boy have any feelings at all? I mean he already makes my life so miserable with his stupid jokes. Always making fun of me because I'm a weasley and how I prefer to be alone. I just wish he would stop hurting me like this. He probably doesn't even realize he is. Why am I the only one he picks on besides Harry Potter? I really hate him. Until next time.
Tegan
Draco felt hurt run all through out his body. Did he really treat Tegan so badly she hated him? Did she still hate him? He felt his fingers tremble a little. He never thought he actually hurt her. He just meant it as a joke, he didn't want Tegan to hate him. He never thought he could make someone's life so miserable. If he made Tegan's life miserable by just a few comments and jokes. How was he making other people feel? Draco shook his head. He couldn't believe this. He never intended on hurting anyone. All he was doing was living like his father told him too. His father always told him to be proud and be better than others. He never thought by doing this he'd make people hurt. Draco stopped thinking about the other students and suddenly thought of Tegan. What if she still hated him? Draco wouldn't be able to bear that. Not now ever since he saw Tegan in a whole new light. He started to flip through the pages looking for recent entries when he heard the door open.
" Why are you looking through my personal things!" Tegan yelled as she snatched her journal out of Draco's hands. Warren started to cry as Tegan pushed him into Draco's arms.
" I was ... I ..." Draco said but couldn't find the words. He didn't want Tegan to know he wanted to understand her.
" You're a *frog* Malfoy. These are my private things and you read them! I hate you!" Tegan yelled as she ran out the door slamming it. Draco sighed. He just found out the answer to his question.
Song: By Nick Carter