Squeaky was about to pounce Draven, when he was suddenly struck over the head with a baseball bat. Lorn stood above him, his usually ivory face pink with rage. "STOP THINKING THAT!!!" Lorn screamed, whacking him again for good measure.
"Ah! Stoppit Lorn! Jeezus!"
"WHAT IS IT WITH YOU FREAKS AND THE FERRET!?!?! ARE YOU A BUNCH OF FRIGGIN' FAN GIRLS!? WHY IS HE SO DAMNED HOT TO YOU?! I'M GOING TO FIND WHO CAST THOSE FUCKING MOVIES AND KILL THEM, AND TOM FELTON!!!" Lorn raged.
"Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!" Hermione and Squeaky cried.
"What the fuck is he talking about?" Draco asked in confusion.
"Search me." Draven said, just as confused.
"Gladly…" Draco answered.
"No Ferret, bad Ferret!" Lorn yelled, brandishing the bat. Draco shrank away from him as best he could whilst being strapped to a bed.
Then the baseball bat transformed into a board with a nail in it. The assembled students couldn't tell if that was a result of the room or Lorn's own heightened magic abilities.
Instead of going apeshit however, Lorn retreated to a corner. "No more sexual thoughts." He muttered darkly.
"Agreed." Everyone said very quickly.
And something finally clicked in Draco's head.
"Wait, you mean…Granger? And Squeaky…? EW!!! OH CHRIST GET ME OFF THIS BED!!!" Draco cried, tugging ineffectually at the straps.
"Wait a minute, I'll try to help!" Draven climbed onto the bed and began tugging at the straps. The straps snapped at him and Indian-burned his arm. "Ow! Nasty little fucks, aren't they?" Draven snapped.
"Ow, they're getting tighter again!" Draco yelped. "I am picturing with all my might these straps disappearing you know!"
"Hmm, well if there weren't two or three people picturing against you it might work, wouldn't it?" Ginny asked sarcastically.
Lorn, meanwhile, began humming the alphabet song in an attempt not to focus on the thoughts the others were broadcasting.
Draven looked at the two girls, got an idea of the situation, and then thought of something. A knife appeared in his hands and he cut the straps off.
"Hey! That's cheating!" Squeaky exclaimed.
"Fuck you!" Draco yelled.
"Please do." Squeaky said, and they all stared at her.
"We've completely corrupted her." Draven said with amusement, looking at Lorn, who didn't find it nearly as amusing as Draven did. "Good Squeaky." He handed her one of Drake's twixes as a treat. She nibbled it happily.
"'Ay!" Drake exclaimed.
"You have enough to reinforce the great wall of China with, you can spare one." Draven said casually.
"You can never have enough twixes. Especially the peanut butter kind." Drake said, happily gazing at his pillow case. He was the only content person in the room.
Draco had decided that the comfort of the bed wasn't worth the danger and was standing in a corner, watchful eyes roaming the room, expecting an attack from any direction. Squeaky and Hermione were having some sort of showdown with their eyes, and Draven was reclining on the bed, seemingly oblivious to it all.
Now that Squeaky and Hermione were thinking about killing each other instead of seducing the ferret, Lorn was much more content. He sat in a chair and 'watched' the thoughts. "Oh Squeaky, that would never work. No Hermione, go for the eyes, if she can't see she'll go down quicker. And the pain will blind her for a good five minutes, at least." Lorn called. The fantasies shifted to accompany this new advice.
Draco looked confused. "Granger…I thought you hated me. I mean, don't you find me revolting or something?"
"Hmm?" Hermione turned her gaze away from Squeaky and stared at Draco. Lorn cleared his throat and she looked at the wall above his head 'it was rude to talk to people without looking at them'.
"Yes, well your personality is horrendous. But you're cute and I'm…yeah." Hermione explained.
"Ah. So it's all physical." Draco said, finding that answer satisfactory.
"Exactly."
"Good to know. You're not bad either, I'll let you know if I'm interested in a one night stand." Draco offered. Hermione brightened.
"Really?" She asked happily. Before Draco could respond, however, Squeaky had launched herself at Hermione with a vicious hamster attack call and clawed at Hermione's neck. "URGHK!!!"
"DIE-DIE-DIE!!!" Squeaky yelled.
"Whoa!" Drake and Draven yelled as they backed away from the two girls. Hermione began attacking back. Lorn rolled his eyes.
"You'll never kill her that way. You two are no good at this." Lorn critiqued. "You do have wands you know."
Squeaky and Hermione's eyes widened. They both reached for their wands, which promptly flew into Draven's outstretched hand.
"No. Killing. Trust me, not worth it." Draven said firmly. "Squeaky, you would lose and I rather like having you around. And Hermione, I don't want to have to kill you for killing Squeaky."
"Like you could!" Hermione spat back.
"I totally could!" Draven yelled defensively.
And then the two of them were cat-fighting, wands forgotten.
"Pulling hair's cheap!" Drake yelled as Hermione grabbed fistfulls of Draven's long white hair and yanked. Draven elbowed her tit and they all grimaced.
"That was a low blow." Squeaky said.
"This is over…me?" Draco asked, thinking back to Squeaky and Hermione and all the comments. He smiled evilly. This information was going to be the catalyst for one hell of an ego trip.
Drake got bored with the catfight and realized something. Squeaky and Hermione were thoroughly distracted. He could make an exit. He focused on the doorway, and the chains disappeared. He ,let out a relieved sigh, and moved towards the door.
"Hermione, his face is turning blue, stop strangling him!" Draco yelled in concern.
"Well I think he's breaking her arm!" Squeaky yelled back.
"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRNNN!!!!" The room was once again filled with the sound of a cat having its tail stepped on.
The chains had disappeared, but not the electric shock.
Calmly, Ginny turned the page in her manga.
"Ah! Stoppit Lorn! Jeezus!"
"WHAT IS IT WITH YOU FREAKS AND THE FERRET!?!?! ARE YOU A BUNCH OF FRIGGIN' FAN GIRLS!? WHY IS HE SO DAMNED HOT TO YOU?! I'M GOING TO FIND WHO CAST THOSE FUCKING MOVIES AND KILL THEM, AND TOM FELTON!!!" Lorn raged.
"Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!" Hermione and Squeaky cried.
"What the fuck is he talking about?" Draco asked in confusion.
"Search me." Draven said, just as confused.
"Gladly…" Draco answered.
"No Ferret, bad Ferret!" Lorn yelled, brandishing the bat. Draco shrank away from him as best he could whilst being strapped to a bed.
Then the baseball bat transformed into a board with a nail in it. The assembled students couldn't tell if that was a result of the room or Lorn's own heightened magic abilities.
Instead of going apeshit however, Lorn retreated to a corner. "No more sexual thoughts." He muttered darkly.
"Agreed." Everyone said very quickly.
And something finally clicked in Draco's head.
"Wait, you mean…Granger? And Squeaky…? EW!!! OH CHRIST GET ME OFF THIS BED!!!" Draco cried, tugging ineffectually at the straps.
"Wait a minute, I'll try to help!" Draven climbed onto the bed and began tugging at the straps. The straps snapped at him and Indian-burned his arm. "Ow! Nasty little fucks, aren't they?" Draven snapped.
"Ow, they're getting tighter again!" Draco yelped. "I am picturing with all my might these straps disappearing you know!"
"Hmm, well if there weren't two or three people picturing against you it might work, wouldn't it?" Ginny asked sarcastically.
Lorn, meanwhile, began humming the alphabet song in an attempt not to focus on the thoughts the others were broadcasting.
Draven looked at the two girls, got an idea of the situation, and then thought of something. A knife appeared in his hands and he cut the straps off.
"Hey! That's cheating!" Squeaky exclaimed.
"Fuck you!" Draco yelled.
"Please do." Squeaky said, and they all stared at her.
"We've completely corrupted her." Draven said with amusement, looking at Lorn, who didn't find it nearly as amusing as Draven did. "Good Squeaky." He handed her one of Drake's twixes as a treat. She nibbled it happily.
"'Ay!" Drake exclaimed.
"You have enough to reinforce the great wall of China with, you can spare one." Draven said casually.
"You can never have enough twixes. Especially the peanut butter kind." Drake said, happily gazing at his pillow case. He was the only content person in the room.
Draco had decided that the comfort of the bed wasn't worth the danger and was standing in a corner, watchful eyes roaming the room, expecting an attack from any direction. Squeaky and Hermione were having some sort of showdown with their eyes, and Draven was reclining on the bed, seemingly oblivious to it all.
Now that Squeaky and Hermione were thinking about killing each other instead of seducing the ferret, Lorn was much more content. He sat in a chair and 'watched' the thoughts. "Oh Squeaky, that would never work. No Hermione, go for the eyes, if she can't see she'll go down quicker. And the pain will blind her for a good five minutes, at least." Lorn called. The fantasies shifted to accompany this new advice.
Draco looked confused. "Granger…I thought you hated me. I mean, don't you find me revolting or something?"
"Hmm?" Hermione turned her gaze away from Squeaky and stared at Draco. Lorn cleared his throat and she looked at the wall above his head 'it was rude to talk to people without looking at them'.
"Yes, well your personality is horrendous. But you're cute and I'm…yeah." Hermione explained.
"Ah. So it's all physical." Draco said, finding that answer satisfactory.
"Exactly."
"Good to know. You're not bad either, I'll let you know if I'm interested in a one night stand." Draco offered. Hermione brightened.
"Really?" She asked happily. Before Draco could respond, however, Squeaky had launched herself at Hermione with a vicious hamster attack call and clawed at Hermione's neck. "URGHK!!!"
"DIE-DIE-DIE!!!" Squeaky yelled.
"Whoa!" Drake and Draven yelled as they backed away from the two girls. Hermione began attacking back. Lorn rolled his eyes.
"You'll never kill her that way. You two are no good at this." Lorn critiqued. "You do have wands you know."
Squeaky and Hermione's eyes widened. They both reached for their wands, which promptly flew into Draven's outstretched hand.
"No. Killing. Trust me, not worth it." Draven said firmly. "Squeaky, you would lose and I rather like having you around. And Hermione, I don't want to have to kill you for killing Squeaky."
"Like you could!" Hermione spat back.
"I totally could!" Draven yelled defensively.
And then the two of them were cat-fighting, wands forgotten.
"Pulling hair's cheap!" Drake yelled as Hermione grabbed fistfulls of Draven's long white hair and yanked. Draven elbowed her tit and they all grimaced.
"That was a low blow." Squeaky said.
"This is over…me?" Draco asked, thinking back to Squeaky and Hermione and all the comments. He smiled evilly. This information was going to be the catalyst for one hell of an ego trip.
Drake got bored with the catfight and realized something. Squeaky and Hermione were thoroughly distracted. He could make an exit. He focused on the doorway, and the chains disappeared. He ,let out a relieved sigh, and moved towards the door.
"Hermione, his face is turning blue, stop strangling him!" Draco yelled in concern.
"Well I think he's breaking her arm!" Squeaky yelled back.
"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRNNN!!!!" The room was once again filled with the sound of a cat having its tail stepped on.
The chains had disappeared, but not the electric shock.
Calmly, Ginny turned the page in her manga.