Painful Realizations
(Chapter Four)
NO! No no no no NO! It was supposed to be like this, he wasn't supposed to have to decide. It was all wrong, how could something so expected, sneak up like this so utterly unexpectedly? How!? Inuyasha snarled a curse and raked his nails down the wood of the bone gobbler's well, leaning on it's frame. His golden eyes were half lidded, evidence of the anger and frustration he was subject to at the moment, as he stared menacingly down into the darkness of the well, at enemies that did not exist. He wished then that there was something he could do, anything thing to get this personal dilemma out of his churning mind.
"Eeeeugggh! This can't be happening! Not now!" He screamed in frustration, and slammed his clawed fingers into the wood of the well again. From under his fingers, the sound of splintering wood could be heard, though to all outward appearances, he himself was unaffected by the pain a blow of such force should cause. Inuuyasha stood there panting for a moment, then slumped down on the ground, closing his eyes completely. "Why did it have to be like this? Why did Kagome have to come to this time?" Even as he voiced the question, he realized he knew the answer. Kagome had come to collect and protect the shards, it was her "call" as the reincarnation of the Priestess Kikyo. That morning was partly clouded, as if the sun itself were afraid of the hanyou's wrath. It spent its time winking out from just behind the edge of the grey clouds, casting a slightly dimmer light on everything. Rain was in the air and the wind that wispered through the leaves of the trees hinted ever more at the possibility of stronger gusts to come and the distant thunder gave the air a bit of a static charge, even if it was only imagined. The woods were quiet right now, as usual no animals called to each other withen the deep darkness of the intertwined branches.
Inuyasha rubbed at his hand for a moment, turning to lean his back against the well's smooth and veritably anicent wood. He muttered under his breath for a time, about what no one could tell. And if anyone were in the hearing range of his voice, they would have likely been hunted down for the sheer hell of it. Inuyasha was enraged, more so than many times before in his life.
Right now, Inuyasha knew, Kagome was in her time, being treated for the wound on her shoulder, from the arrow the original Kikyo had shot her with. Here, the wound had grown infected, and it soon became obvious that Kagome needed the more advanced help of the doctors of her time. So she had left, though only for a few days, and she swore up and down that if Inuyasha left while she was gone, when she saw him again, she would use the sit command so many times that he would be laying in his own six foot grave before it was over with. Headstrong of course, and rebellious as always, Inuyasha had planned to leave as soon as Kagome was gone though the well, but she had also foiled that plan neatly by setting Miroku and Sango as his "Babysitters."
Inuyasha's wound was not much better, though the skin was mostly closed now from his accelerated healing abilities, brought by the demon blood that coursed and mixed with the human blood in his veins. It was also this blood that gave him his silver hair and dog-like ears. Though his having demon blood had no part in the strict rules Kagome had left with him, as if he were a mere mortal child.
The hanyou had raised cain, and scared the villagers out of their wits with his indiginant yells and curses. As a matter of fact, his yells of denial were more like howls than anything else, and not many could make much of the words spewing forth. So no one of course was quite willing to stop the demon when the next day he left the village, with Miroku and Sango hot on his trail. Shippo had stayed after with Kaede, the elder of the village, in case Inuyasha should not return before Kagome. The little fox tyke was smug about the lips as he watched The half-demon leave. He knew that Inuyasha was asking for it. But he shouldn't have been so smug and gloating, Inuyasha was only traveling to the well. Which led him to why he was there. He was taking out his anger on the darn thing by yelling at Kagome through the well. He knew she couldn't possibly hear him, but his nature was such that he wouldn't just calm down. He had his reasons to screech, and both Miroku and Sango could guess what they were, but neither of them wished to confront him about those reasons.
And The monk and the lady, including her yokai-cat friend Kirara were the only ones brave enough to stand in sight of the demon. Miroku knew that despite the yokai's crazed and angry exterior, Inuyasha was being torn apart inside by something that the young monk could only guess at, and he felt pity for the guy. Inuyasha really wasn't so bad. But something had happened during the battle with Sesshomaru and Kikyo, and Miroku could sense it eating away at his friend. He glanced at Sango, who returned the knowing look and sighed, seating himself in the grass just a few feet from her, and laying his staff acrost his lap. His voice was quiet as once more, he gave voice to his worries and fears, quiet enough so that the panting Inuyasha couldn't hear.
"I fear it was that run in with Kikyo. Having her shoot Kagome must have been awful for him to watch. Have you noticed the way he's been acting around her the past few days?" He spoke truthfully, and in the past few days, since his near-death experience, as well as hers, he had grown quieter and more withdrawn, and Kagome felt as if she were always being watched quietly from afar. Miroku had observed this, and the fact that Inuyasha grew increasingly protective and insistent when it came to the girl's well-being. He had argued with her for two days about going to see the doctor in her time, using the pretense that her wound was starting to smell bad. Granted, to Miroku, he hadn't been able to tell any difference in smell, but it was quite obvious that the wound needed better tending than just Kaede could give after it started to swell and turn a sickly yellowish around the edges. Kagome had finally agreed to go, if Miroku and Sango would watch Inuyasha, while she was gone. They had agreed, and she had left. She was due back sometime that day or that night, if all was well. Sango nodded quietly, sparing him another glance. "He definitely has feelings for her. Even if he won't admit them to even himself." Inuyasha paced back and forth like a caged animal, sputtering and angry, his face was red as he stalked back and forth in front of the well. He was going through hell. Kagome, Kikyo, one and the same, yet not. They were different, but they were of the same soul. Was it possible to feel twice the emotions for the one soul? Half and Half? He thought of Kikyo, thought back to the days they had spent together fifty years ago. He had been so content then, content in his life and the thought of living out the rest of it as a human with Kikyo. He had been willing then, and he felt emotions rush back into the void spaces of his heart that he thought he had sealed off forever. It was this that was driving him crazy. The emotions that came pouring back found those supposedly empty spaces already occupied by other newer feelings. Feelings that had been gradually building within the hanyou. And when he felt them, when he knew of those feelings, it was completely overwhelming to him. To realize that he had once again started feeling the stirrings of something that could grow into something more, and was threatening to do just that. Miroku and Sango could only hope that the half demon would sort it out for himself, without violence of course, both sat quietly and watched as he paced back and forth for a few more moments. The half demon snarled every step he took, his lip was curling in comtempt and as his fists clenched. He spun on a heel and growled again, his eye narrowing and revealing the anger seething within.
Suddenly, he lifted his head, and sat there for a moment, his face was cast in the shadows of the leaves, but Miroku could not miss the unmistakable look in his golden eyes. Challenging, daring, and that look, Miroku knew, meant Inuyasha was about to do something foolish.
The half demon looked up as the wind blew some of his hair out of his eyes, his teeth were still clenched as he lifted his head, sniffing as some scent was brought to him on the wind. His ears twitched as he turned his head sideways trying to catch the whiff eluding his senses. His eyes widened, There! He carefully analyzed it, and his clawed hand traveled to the Tessaiga's sheath. He glanced at Miroku and Sango, who were lucky enough to catch the telltale gesture. Miroku leapt to his feet as Inuyasha turned and dodged into the thick cover of the woods. He had decided.
NO! No no no no NO! It was supposed to be like this, he wasn't supposed to have to decide. It was all wrong, how could something so expected, sneak up like this so utterly unexpectedly? How!? Inuyasha snarled a curse and raked his nails down the wood of the bone gobbler's well, leaning on it's frame. His golden eyes were half lidded, evidence of the anger and frustration he was subject to at the moment, as he stared menacingly down into the darkness of the well, at enemies that did not exist. He wished then that there was something he could do, anything thing to get this personal dilemma out of his churning mind.
"Eeeeugggh! This can't be happening! Not now!" He screamed in frustration, and slammed his clawed fingers into the wood of the well again. From under his fingers, the sound of splintering wood could be heard, though to all outward appearances, he himself was unaffected by the pain a blow of such force should cause. Inuuyasha stood there panting for a moment, then slumped down on the ground, closing his eyes completely. "Why did it have to be like this? Why did Kagome have to come to this time?" Even as he voiced the question, he realized he knew the answer. Kagome had come to collect and protect the shards, it was her "call" as the reincarnation of the Priestess Kikyo. That morning was partly clouded, as if the sun itself were afraid of the hanyou's wrath. It spent its time winking out from just behind the edge of the grey clouds, casting a slightly dimmer light on everything. Rain was in the air and the wind that wispered through the leaves of the trees hinted ever more at the possibility of stronger gusts to come and the distant thunder gave the air a bit of a static charge, even if it was only imagined. The woods were quiet right now, as usual no animals called to each other withen the deep darkness of the intertwined branches.
Inuyasha rubbed at his hand for a moment, turning to lean his back against the well's smooth and veritably anicent wood. He muttered under his breath for a time, about what no one could tell. And if anyone were in the hearing range of his voice, they would have likely been hunted down for the sheer hell of it. Inuyasha was enraged, more so than many times before in his life.
Right now, Inuyasha knew, Kagome was in her time, being treated for the wound on her shoulder, from the arrow the original Kikyo had shot her with. Here, the wound had grown infected, and it soon became obvious that Kagome needed the more advanced help of the doctors of her time. So she had left, though only for a few days, and she swore up and down that if Inuyasha left while she was gone, when she saw him again, she would use the sit command so many times that he would be laying in his own six foot grave before it was over with. Headstrong of course, and rebellious as always, Inuyasha had planned to leave as soon as Kagome was gone though the well, but she had also foiled that plan neatly by setting Miroku and Sango as his "Babysitters."
Inuyasha's wound was not much better, though the skin was mostly closed now from his accelerated healing abilities, brought by the demon blood that coursed and mixed with the human blood in his veins. It was also this blood that gave him his silver hair and dog-like ears. Though his having demon blood had no part in the strict rules Kagome had left with him, as if he were a mere mortal child.
The hanyou had raised cain, and scared the villagers out of their wits with his indiginant yells and curses. As a matter of fact, his yells of denial were more like howls than anything else, and not many could make much of the words spewing forth. So no one of course was quite willing to stop the demon when the next day he left the village, with Miroku and Sango hot on his trail. Shippo had stayed after with Kaede, the elder of the village, in case Inuyasha should not return before Kagome. The little fox tyke was smug about the lips as he watched The half-demon leave. He knew that Inuyasha was asking for it. But he shouldn't have been so smug and gloating, Inuyasha was only traveling to the well. Which led him to why he was there. He was taking out his anger on the darn thing by yelling at Kagome through the well. He knew she couldn't possibly hear him, but his nature was such that he wouldn't just calm down. He had his reasons to screech, and both Miroku and Sango could guess what they were, but neither of them wished to confront him about those reasons.
And The monk and the lady, including her yokai-cat friend Kirara were the only ones brave enough to stand in sight of the demon. Miroku knew that despite the yokai's crazed and angry exterior, Inuyasha was being torn apart inside by something that the young monk could only guess at, and he felt pity for the guy. Inuyasha really wasn't so bad. But something had happened during the battle with Sesshomaru and Kikyo, and Miroku could sense it eating away at his friend. He glanced at Sango, who returned the knowing look and sighed, seating himself in the grass just a few feet from her, and laying his staff acrost his lap. His voice was quiet as once more, he gave voice to his worries and fears, quiet enough so that the panting Inuyasha couldn't hear.
"I fear it was that run in with Kikyo. Having her shoot Kagome must have been awful for him to watch. Have you noticed the way he's been acting around her the past few days?" He spoke truthfully, and in the past few days, since his near-death experience, as well as hers, he had grown quieter and more withdrawn, and Kagome felt as if she were always being watched quietly from afar. Miroku had observed this, and the fact that Inuyasha grew increasingly protective and insistent when it came to the girl's well-being. He had argued with her for two days about going to see the doctor in her time, using the pretense that her wound was starting to smell bad. Granted, to Miroku, he hadn't been able to tell any difference in smell, but it was quite obvious that the wound needed better tending than just Kaede could give after it started to swell and turn a sickly yellowish around the edges. Kagome had finally agreed to go, if Miroku and Sango would watch Inuyasha, while she was gone. They had agreed, and she had left. She was due back sometime that day or that night, if all was well. Sango nodded quietly, sparing him another glance. "He definitely has feelings for her. Even if he won't admit them to even himself." Inuyasha paced back and forth like a caged animal, sputtering and angry, his face was red as he stalked back and forth in front of the well. He was going through hell. Kagome, Kikyo, one and the same, yet not. They were different, but they were of the same soul. Was it possible to feel twice the emotions for the one soul? Half and Half? He thought of Kikyo, thought back to the days they had spent together fifty years ago. He had been so content then, content in his life and the thought of living out the rest of it as a human with Kikyo. He had been willing then, and he felt emotions rush back into the void spaces of his heart that he thought he had sealed off forever. It was this that was driving him crazy. The emotions that came pouring back found those supposedly empty spaces already occupied by other newer feelings. Feelings that had been gradually building within the hanyou. And when he felt them, when he knew of those feelings, it was completely overwhelming to him. To realize that he had once again started feeling the stirrings of something that could grow into something more, and was threatening to do just that. Miroku and Sango could only hope that the half demon would sort it out for himself, without violence of course, both sat quietly and watched as he paced back and forth for a few more moments. The half demon snarled every step he took, his lip was curling in comtempt and as his fists clenched. He spun on a heel and growled again, his eye narrowing and revealing the anger seething within.
Suddenly, he lifted his head, and sat there for a moment, his face was cast in the shadows of the leaves, but Miroku could not miss the unmistakable look in his golden eyes. Challenging, daring, and that look, Miroku knew, meant Inuyasha was about to do something foolish.
The half demon looked up as the wind blew some of his hair out of his eyes, his teeth were still clenched as he lifted his head, sniffing as some scent was brought to him on the wind. His ears twitched as he turned his head sideways trying to catch the whiff eluding his senses. His eyes widened, There! He carefully analyzed it, and his clawed hand traveled to the Tessaiga's sheath. He glanced at Miroku and Sango, who were lucky enough to catch the telltale gesture. Miroku leapt to his feet as Inuyasha turned and dodged into the thick cover of the woods. He had decided.