Crusade ch6
"Computer, engage program Solvek alpha-one."
Solvek stood calmly at the doors to Ulysses' one and only holodeck. He had been the first to requisition some time on the holodeck, for his daily meditation rituals only, but it was enough to convince the Captain that it was more necessary than the constantly energetic Ensign Norman and his requisition for "Advanced Hostile Intruder Training".
Shortly after Solvek had gone back to his quarters after his first duty shift, he received two messages from Vulcan. One was from both his parents, stating how unhappy they were at his choice of going back to Starfleet, but they would support him nonetheless. And another message from the Masters at the temple, which had said how agreeable it was to see him taking on this responsibility without any exclamations of discomfort or displays of needless emotion about returning to Starfleet. The message also contained a holodeck program of the temple itself, to make his meditation cycles easier, which in itself also contained all of the files he had been studying at the time of his departure from the temple, as well as a compilation of the messages he had received at the terminal, which, like always, Solvek politely refused.
After the computer beeped a final, long tone, the heavy doors opened with a loud creaking of metal, a sign that his was the first entrance to this room in quite some time. The sudden shift environment from Terran standard to the hot, arid feel of Vulcan made Solvek's senses spin for a brief moment. But Solvek regained his composure and began to explore the program.
Every small detail had been captured in this program, Solvek noticed. Every building, every rock, every rough mark and patchy area made by years of existing in the desert as well as temple initiates and masters unwilling or unable to repair them had been captured. Even the distinct acrid odor of desert wind and plain, tasteless temple food being cooked assaulted his olfactory senses. Solvek made a note to congratulate the masters for their painstaking effort in making this program such like reality for him.
Ignoring the lucrative feeling about going to his old quarters, or any of the hundreds of other areas he could have visited, Solvek made his way to the main meditation hall. It was a long, brisk walk, but well worth it. Everything from the smell of burning incense to the rusted gong held up by twin supports was recreated for him in the room. If he were human, Solvek might have wept for the sudden feeling of nostalgia and...what was the word...? Oh yes, homesickness.
Kneeling in front of a large altar supporting a relatively small statue of a past master who, at some ancient time, founded this very temple, as well as a huge wooden carving of the Vulcan IDIC symbol, Solvek began his meditation.
Solvek let himself slowly close his eyes and bow his head in the traditional meditation pose. Bringing his two index fingers up, and meeting their tips at the center of his forehead, Solvek let himself go to the infinite flows of logic and pure thought. It was proper to remain in that position until the meditation was complete, which could take a few minutes to several hours. And even though Solvek's mind was completely lost in the pool of logic that was his mind, he was acutely aware of the time. He knew that he only had less than an hour before Ensign Norman's turn on the holodeck was due.
Solvek calmly meditated for just twenty-two minutes, forty-five seconds before things started to go terribly wrong, as they always did for him.
His track of time was interrupted when he accidentally shifted his knees to a more comfortable meditation posture, a mistake only first-attempt initiates would make. Due to the already uncomfortable position, his knees reacted with an unexpectedly intense shock of pain. Normally, he or any other Vulcan should have been able to block the pain with harsh mental discipline, but not in a deep meditation. In this vulnerable state, he was helpless to what was to come next.
Outside, his face suddenly contorted into one that would normally express intense pain, but in reality, he felt nothing. It took three seconds before he was able to put down the expression, but in those three seconds, he had lost his entire concentration.
Like a dam broken, Solveks momentary lack of concentration let loose every emotion and illogical feeling buried deep within him. Every dark thought and every violent impulse burst from the cage set up in his mind, turning his calm pool of logic into a violent, churning sea.
Solvek fought valiantly to regain his composure and thoughts, but the tide was too powerful. Already he could tell that this meditation was much worse than any he had experienced before. Every scream had not been one of pure anguish, but of triumph, as he had controlled his emotions just one more time, beating them back down into the dark pits of his mind. But why couldnt he heave down the thoughts now? His head was beginning to swim with so many thoughts that he nearly lost his grip of consciousness.
But no matter what he did, Solvek could not control his mind anymore. He was a prisoner of his own thoughts. Every rational thought was being slowly swallowed and destroyed by the flood of violence and hatred, and Solvek watched it all with an eerie third-person perspective, as if his mind was torturing him with visions of his own mental destruction.
Though he couldn't feel it, Solvek had long ago lost his position of meditation. Outside, he was lying face-first on the rough floor of the temple, twitching violently and making unintelligible sounds with his non- functional mouth. Without knowing, Solveks foot suddenly kicked out, knocking over the statue of the master, or, more precisely, sending it flying toward the IDIC carving. Both came crashing to the ground in a ruined heap, bathing Solvek in eons' worth of holographic dust and splinters. His rapidly moving body, totally under its own direction, became a bloody mass of twitching muscles and flesh as it moved over the broken splinters of the painting.
"Help me! Help me! Help me! Help me!" was all Solveks ruined brain could do to vainly defend against the mental onslaught of emotion and disorder. His every defense had been broken, and he was slowly slipping from sanity, second by second.
Solvek waited out the seconds before he would finally be lost to the comfort of sanity. It was ironic that, now, in all times, he could actually keep track of the time.
**********
Norman had been waiting for the damned Vulcan to exit his program for the last half hour. In the first few minutes, he had patiently waited, allowing Solvek some more badly needed meditation. But thirty minutes? Even a Vulcan wasn't so rude. Norman had to make a deal with the next crewman in line that she could use his time as well as hers tomorrow just to make sure he was there to chew out the rude Vulcan after he left the holodeck. He had it all planned out: He would argue that just because human weren't as strong or generally as smart as Vulcans. That didn't give them the right to act on their superiority. Yeah, that would really grip at his Vulcan conscience.
But thirty minutes turned to forty, and then an hour. What was taking so long? In a vain attempt, Norman literally banged on the heavy doors, shouting "Hey, you in there! Come on out, will ya?" But, of course, there was no answer. Finally deciding that enough was enough, Norman used his security clearance to open the doors, and walk into the rude Vulcan's program.
The sudden increase in heat and odd smell nearly drove Norman to the ground in their sheer magnitude. So this is what Vulcan looks like , Norman said to himself. Not quite like those old academy stories .
Norman wound his way through the huge simulation. He had to give the man some credit for the complexity and level of detail he had put into the program. He even included some old scuffmarks on the floor! Now that was craftsmanship.
Norman hadn't walked a few meters when he heard the unnatural-sounding moans and gurgles coming from the largest room in the temple. Racing over to it, Norman had to use all of his strength just to crack open the door. When he saw inside, it was all he could do to keep his breakfast from proudly displaying itself over his uniform. The image of the violently thrashing, gurgling, bloody Vulcan turned Norman's insides into a knot. All he wanted to do was just run away and let this poor man suffer his own fate, run away so he could never see, hear, or smell this gruesome sight again. Unfortunately, that's not what happened. Not at all.
In a daze, Norman rushed to Solvek's side, and heaved with all his might to put the violent Vulcan on his back. Norman had to duck under a few mistakenly thrown punches and kicks, and did all he could from adding more bodily fluids to the already sticky floor.
Instinctively, Norman shouted "Computer, end program!" and immediately after he said that, the floor, the ruined room, and the entire environment faded into oblivion. But the sticky mess was still there, and Solvek was still in his odd convulsions. Norman didnt know what to do. His arms were frozen in fear, and his voice was cracking under the pressure of the moment. He had to save this fellow officer, but how? His mind whirled and seemed to act as violently as Solvek's body. All of his years of training and conditioning, and he didnt know what to do. Maybe he wasn't ready to go into space after all; maybe he was still too young. He was utterly useless to everyone on the ship. Norman could see his vision becoming blurry as tears started to pool under his eyes.
"I'm...sorry." Whispered Norman, between sniffles. Even though he had just recently endured four years of his life bravely surviving in a universe torn apart by war, Jacob Norman still was sputtering and nearly crying at this sight.
Norman was broken out of his reverie when he heard the sound of the faint beep of an activated comm. badge. Norman looked down to see Solvek's green- stained hand resting on Norman's chest, just where his commbadge was attached. Norman looked down to look at Solvek's face, and for a brief instant, he thought he saw a glimmer of understanding, it was just one look that literally screamed HELP ME, YOU FOOL!
Norman removed Solvek's hand and in a rushed whisper, Norman called the first place that came to his head:
"Norman to sickbay, I have a medical emergency. Please beam us there."
As the whine of the ship's transporters overtook any other sound in the holodeck, Norman thought he heard the sound of an extremely hushed sound of "Thank you." but it was overshadowed itself by the sound of Norman's helpless half-crying, both at his uselessness and how he needed someone else to do something so simple for him.
**********
Solvek awoke to the sound of a medical tricorder hovering just over his right ear. He tried to wave it away, but he was surprised to notice that his arms and legs were restrained tightly.
"Dont struggle, Ill get you out." Came the voice of the ships doctor. Solvek wasnt aware of her name. "You were in shock when you were brought in here. We did all we could to help, but no matter what we did, nothing helped. We could only wait until you got better."
In a hushed voice, Solvek asked, "How long have I been unconscious?"
"Just under sixteen hours. At first, we were sure you had gone into some kind of coma or a natural Vulcan defensive sleep, but as the hours dragged on, we became increasingly worried."
"Do you know what happened?"
"As far as I can tell, you violently reacted to some extreme mental stress. You were lucky Ensign Norman found you when he did, or you would have died in just a few minutes more."
Solvek was dimly aware of Ensign Norman walking in on him during his "reaction". It had taken immense physical effort just to raise his hand to try and shake Norman out of his pitiful display of emotion. He hadnt intended at all to activate his commbadge; that could have been something he could have easily done had he been able to coherently talk. But, the fact of the matter was, Ensign Norman had save his life, and was due thanks.
"May I ask where Ensign Norman is at this time?"
"He was beamed here with you with a slight case of shock at seeing you like that. I gave him a slight sedative and sent him back to his quarters for now. I'll send your thanks to him when he wakes up."
"Thank you, doctor, but that will not be necessary, I am feeling quite improved." Solvek attempted to sit up from the biobed, but the firm hand of the doctor pushed him back down.
"Oh no you don't. You are going to remain here for another twelve hours of observation to make sure you don't relapse."
Solvek wished to tell her that this was a common problem, and that he really was perfectly fine now, but he told himself that it was a illogical to act against a trained medical professional. Solvek sighed and lay back down on the bed, and tried to rest as best as possible. But before he could slip into unconsciousness, the voice of Captain Snyder came over the comm., "All hands, this is the captain. We have arrived at Starbase Seven."
"Computer, engage program Solvek alpha-one."
Solvek stood calmly at the doors to Ulysses' one and only holodeck. He had been the first to requisition some time on the holodeck, for his daily meditation rituals only, but it was enough to convince the Captain that it was more necessary than the constantly energetic Ensign Norman and his requisition for "Advanced Hostile Intruder Training".
Shortly after Solvek had gone back to his quarters after his first duty shift, he received two messages from Vulcan. One was from both his parents, stating how unhappy they were at his choice of going back to Starfleet, but they would support him nonetheless. And another message from the Masters at the temple, which had said how agreeable it was to see him taking on this responsibility without any exclamations of discomfort or displays of needless emotion about returning to Starfleet. The message also contained a holodeck program of the temple itself, to make his meditation cycles easier, which in itself also contained all of the files he had been studying at the time of his departure from the temple, as well as a compilation of the messages he had received at the terminal, which, like always, Solvek politely refused.
After the computer beeped a final, long tone, the heavy doors opened with a loud creaking of metal, a sign that his was the first entrance to this room in quite some time. The sudden shift environment from Terran standard to the hot, arid feel of Vulcan made Solvek's senses spin for a brief moment. But Solvek regained his composure and began to explore the program.
Every small detail had been captured in this program, Solvek noticed. Every building, every rock, every rough mark and patchy area made by years of existing in the desert as well as temple initiates and masters unwilling or unable to repair them had been captured. Even the distinct acrid odor of desert wind and plain, tasteless temple food being cooked assaulted his olfactory senses. Solvek made a note to congratulate the masters for their painstaking effort in making this program such like reality for him.
Ignoring the lucrative feeling about going to his old quarters, or any of the hundreds of other areas he could have visited, Solvek made his way to the main meditation hall. It was a long, brisk walk, but well worth it. Everything from the smell of burning incense to the rusted gong held up by twin supports was recreated for him in the room. If he were human, Solvek might have wept for the sudden feeling of nostalgia and...what was the word...? Oh yes, homesickness.
Kneeling in front of a large altar supporting a relatively small statue of a past master who, at some ancient time, founded this very temple, as well as a huge wooden carving of the Vulcan IDIC symbol, Solvek began his meditation.
Solvek let himself slowly close his eyes and bow his head in the traditional meditation pose. Bringing his two index fingers up, and meeting their tips at the center of his forehead, Solvek let himself go to the infinite flows of logic and pure thought. It was proper to remain in that position until the meditation was complete, which could take a few minutes to several hours. And even though Solvek's mind was completely lost in the pool of logic that was his mind, he was acutely aware of the time. He knew that he only had less than an hour before Ensign Norman's turn on the holodeck was due.
Solvek calmly meditated for just twenty-two minutes, forty-five seconds before things started to go terribly wrong, as they always did for him.
His track of time was interrupted when he accidentally shifted his knees to a more comfortable meditation posture, a mistake only first-attempt initiates would make. Due to the already uncomfortable position, his knees reacted with an unexpectedly intense shock of pain. Normally, he or any other Vulcan should have been able to block the pain with harsh mental discipline, but not in a deep meditation. In this vulnerable state, he was helpless to what was to come next.
Outside, his face suddenly contorted into one that would normally express intense pain, but in reality, he felt nothing. It took three seconds before he was able to put down the expression, but in those three seconds, he had lost his entire concentration.
Like a dam broken, Solveks momentary lack of concentration let loose every emotion and illogical feeling buried deep within him. Every dark thought and every violent impulse burst from the cage set up in his mind, turning his calm pool of logic into a violent, churning sea.
Solvek fought valiantly to regain his composure and thoughts, but the tide was too powerful. Already he could tell that this meditation was much worse than any he had experienced before. Every scream had not been one of pure anguish, but of triumph, as he had controlled his emotions just one more time, beating them back down into the dark pits of his mind. But why couldnt he heave down the thoughts now? His head was beginning to swim with so many thoughts that he nearly lost his grip of consciousness.
But no matter what he did, Solvek could not control his mind anymore. He was a prisoner of his own thoughts. Every rational thought was being slowly swallowed and destroyed by the flood of violence and hatred, and Solvek watched it all with an eerie third-person perspective, as if his mind was torturing him with visions of his own mental destruction.
Though he couldn't feel it, Solvek had long ago lost his position of meditation. Outside, he was lying face-first on the rough floor of the temple, twitching violently and making unintelligible sounds with his non- functional mouth. Without knowing, Solveks foot suddenly kicked out, knocking over the statue of the master, or, more precisely, sending it flying toward the IDIC carving. Both came crashing to the ground in a ruined heap, bathing Solvek in eons' worth of holographic dust and splinters. His rapidly moving body, totally under its own direction, became a bloody mass of twitching muscles and flesh as it moved over the broken splinters of the painting.
"Help me! Help me! Help me! Help me!" was all Solveks ruined brain could do to vainly defend against the mental onslaught of emotion and disorder. His every defense had been broken, and he was slowly slipping from sanity, second by second.
Solvek waited out the seconds before he would finally be lost to the comfort of sanity. It was ironic that, now, in all times, he could actually keep track of the time.
**********
Norman had been waiting for the damned Vulcan to exit his program for the last half hour. In the first few minutes, he had patiently waited, allowing Solvek some more badly needed meditation. But thirty minutes? Even a Vulcan wasn't so rude. Norman had to make a deal with the next crewman in line that she could use his time as well as hers tomorrow just to make sure he was there to chew out the rude Vulcan after he left the holodeck. He had it all planned out: He would argue that just because human weren't as strong or generally as smart as Vulcans. That didn't give them the right to act on their superiority. Yeah, that would really grip at his Vulcan conscience.
But thirty minutes turned to forty, and then an hour. What was taking so long? In a vain attempt, Norman literally banged on the heavy doors, shouting "Hey, you in there! Come on out, will ya?" But, of course, there was no answer. Finally deciding that enough was enough, Norman used his security clearance to open the doors, and walk into the rude Vulcan's program.
The sudden increase in heat and odd smell nearly drove Norman to the ground in their sheer magnitude. So this is what Vulcan looks like , Norman said to himself. Not quite like those old academy stories .
Norman wound his way through the huge simulation. He had to give the man some credit for the complexity and level of detail he had put into the program. He even included some old scuffmarks on the floor! Now that was craftsmanship.
Norman hadn't walked a few meters when he heard the unnatural-sounding moans and gurgles coming from the largest room in the temple. Racing over to it, Norman had to use all of his strength just to crack open the door. When he saw inside, it was all he could do to keep his breakfast from proudly displaying itself over his uniform. The image of the violently thrashing, gurgling, bloody Vulcan turned Norman's insides into a knot. All he wanted to do was just run away and let this poor man suffer his own fate, run away so he could never see, hear, or smell this gruesome sight again. Unfortunately, that's not what happened. Not at all.
In a daze, Norman rushed to Solvek's side, and heaved with all his might to put the violent Vulcan on his back. Norman had to duck under a few mistakenly thrown punches and kicks, and did all he could from adding more bodily fluids to the already sticky floor.
Instinctively, Norman shouted "Computer, end program!" and immediately after he said that, the floor, the ruined room, and the entire environment faded into oblivion. But the sticky mess was still there, and Solvek was still in his odd convulsions. Norman didnt know what to do. His arms were frozen in fear, and his voice was cracking under the pressure of the moment. He had to save this fellow officer, but how? His mind whirled and seemed to act as violently as Solvek's body. All of his years of training and conditioning, and he didnt know what to do. Maybe he wasn't ready to go into space after all; maybe he was still too young. He was utterly useless to everyone on the ship. Norman could see his vision becoming blurry as tears started to pool under his eyes.
"I'm...sorry." Whispered Norman, between sniffles. Even though he had just recently endured four years of his life bravely surviving in a universe torn apart by war, Jacob Norman still was sputtering and nearly crying at this sight.
Norman was broken out of his reverie when he heard the sound of the faint beep of an activated comm. badge. Norman looked down to see Solvek's green- stained hand resting on Norman's chest, just where his commbadge was attached. Norman looked down to look at Solvek's face, and for a brief instant, he thought he saw a glimmer of understanding, it was just one look that literally screamed HELP ME, YOU FOOL!
Norman removed Solvek's hand and in a rushed whisper, Norman called the first place that came to his head:
"Norman to sickbay, I have a medical emergency. Please beam us there."
As the whine of the ship's transporters overtook any other sound in the holodeck, Norman thought he heard the sound of an extremely hushed sound of "Thank you." but it was overshadowed itself by the sound of Norman's helpless half-crying, both at his uselessness and how he needed someone else to do something so simple for him.
**********
Solvek awoke to the sound of a medical tricorder hovering just over his right ear. He tried to wave it away, but he was surprised to notice that his arms and legs were restrained tightly.
"Dont struggle, Ill get you out." Came the voice of the ships doctor. Solvek wasnt aware of her name. "You were in shock when you were brought in here. We did all we could to help, but no matter what we did, nothing helped. We could only wait until you got better."
In a hushed voice, Solvek asked, "How long have I been unconscious?"
"Just under sixteen hours. At first, we were sure you had gone into some kind of coma or a natural Vulcan defensive sleep, but as the hours dragged on, we became increasingly worried."
"Do you know what happened?"
"As far as I can tell, you violently reacted to some extreme mental stress. You were lucky Ensign Norman found you when he did, or you would have died in just a few minutes more."
Solvek was dimly aware of Ensign Norman walking in on him during his "reaction". It had taken immense physical effort just to raise his hand to try and shake Norman out of his pitiful display of emotion. He hadnt intended at all to activate his commbadge; that could have been something he could have easily done had he been able to coherently talk. But, the fact of the matter was, Ensign Norman had save his life, and was due thanks.
"May I ask where Ensign Norman is at this time?"
"He was beamed here with you with a slight case of shock at seeing you like that. I gave him a slight sedative and sent him back to his quarters for now. I'll send your thanks to him when he wakes up."
"Thank you, doctor, but that will not be necessary, I am feeling quite improved." Solvek attempted to sit up from the biobed, but the firm hand of the doctor pushed him back down.
"Oh no you don't. You are going to remain here for another twelve hours of observation to make sure you don't relapse."
Solvek wished to tell her that this was a common problem, and that he really was perfectly fine now, but he told himself that it was a illogical to act against a trained medical professional. Solvek sighed and lay back down on the bed, and tried to rest as best as possible. But before he could slip into unconsciousness, the voice of Captain Snyder came over the comm., "All hands, this is the captain. We have arrived at Starbase Seven."